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Guys I need some help! Please read! Anonymous 11/05/16(Sat)03:24:29 No.710603525 So I've been c------ in my roommates girlfriend's body wash because they're annoying as f---. For like two months, jerk it in the shower, open the pump, dump it in, and give it a good shake. 14 KB JPG @THEPRANKZONE He just told me her period was super late so they took a pregnancy test and she's knocked up. He said "I trust her, I guess a condom ripped or idk" and they're going to raise it. We have a year on the lease. Problem is, I'm Greek and they're white as f---. What are the chances I'm a dad? : Anonymous what the f--- is wrong with you 11/05/16(Sat)03:25:48 No.710603604 >>710603671 # >>710604623 #

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Anonymous raytracing is a marketing meme COAL FBI FB 03/13/25(Thu)01:26:06 No.104690840 raytracing.png 869 KB PNG >turn RT on >game looks slightly different, not really better or worse >30 fps >turn RT off >150 fps Games RT turned off just look good enough. The performance hit isn't justified at all by the different visuals.

[Advertise on 4chan] Archaeologists have uncovered a vast ancient civilization in the Ecuadorian Amazon near the Andes Archaeologists have uncovered (...) 03/13/25(Thu)23:14:37 No.500397454 1.89 MB PNG ⠀ Anonymous (ID: BNbZwHwp) + 03/13/25(Thu)23:14:57 No.500397482 file.png 54 KB PNG >>500397454 (OP) # >>500397627 # >>500397680 # >>500398784 # >>500398919 # >>500398968 # >>500401688 # >>500401797 # >>500402301 # >>500403096 # >>500403271 # >>500403357 # >>500403431 # >>500403955 # >>500404697 # >>500406823 # >>500407658 # >>500408835 # >>500409628 # >>500410153 # >>500410318 #

29 KB PNG >writing resume to apply to internship >i NEED this internship or i can't graduate on time >ask college professional services dept for feedback >omg anon this resume is TRASH >your font was size 11 instead of 10.5? THEY WILL THROW IT RIGHT INTO THE TRASH >you UNDERLINED A HEADING!!! THEY WILL THROW IT RIGHT INTO THE TRASH >You said Other Skills instead of Soft Skills??? THEY WILL THROW IT RIGHT INTO THE TRASH >you used "I" instead of passive voice?? THEY WILL THROW IT RIGHT INTO THE TRASH >you put the page number on the left and not on the right??THEY WILL THROW IT RIGHT INTO THE TRASH >oh my GOD you used Calibri font instead of Lato Normal?? THEY WILL THROW IT RIGHT INTO THE TRASH why the f--- does any of this matter? Presentation matters but there's a difference between rejecting a CV outright because it has no alignment or format whatsoever and rejecting it because I dared use a round bullet and not a square bullet. Why is HR so f------ A--- about these minute aesthetic concerns? It's just exhausting. They really make you feel like worthless scum because of things that are 95% irrelevant. And that's all before getting into the knowledge that despite all of this they'll likely pick a subcontinental that speaks questionable English. I hate this.

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January Six Rioter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 51 KB JPG you go home and hear that biden won anyway and all of your favorite twitter news sources named like Patriot Newsman Of the West with avatars of roman statues have posted your photo online and are labeling you a "gay communist antifa actor." then the next day the god emperor you pasted into warhammer memes puts out a video cucking himself and bending the knee. "i'm sorry, those were heinous acts! p-please let me tweet again jack!!" you can't leave dc because the airlines have dubbed you a flight risk. you can't stay because the cops are actively looking for you after one of their own died. your roommate at the only hotel that would accept you is a guy named based_kekistani 1488 who wants to show you his goblin slayer torrents. the sun is going down and you're getting cold.

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Anon is amazed by progress | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 69500795 188.2 kB JPG > lifts heavy things > grow muscles 5 REPLIES 2 IMAGES Anonymous | 69501740 >>69500795 (OP) Woah slow down there buddy, this is /fit/, we don't do that here Anonymous | 69501755 >>69500795 (OP) do you have a study that proves this? Anonymous | 69502862 source 6 hr ago ... 4 hr ago 4 hr ago ●●● 2 hr ago.

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Anon returns to monke | /r/Greentext

□ Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)12:37:18 No.63940872 ► >>63941261 >>63946573 >>63938450 Hate the idea of drinks, but if they made meat-based dog kibble for humans I'd jump at the opportunity. I already eat monkey chow I order from a zoo supply company for about half my meals. O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri) 13:13:51 No.63941261 ► >>63941349 >>63940872 >I already eat monkey chow I order from a zoo supply company for about half my meals. Could you elaborate? How could I start doing this? It sounds fantastic. O Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)13:21:43 No.63941349 >>63941507 >>63941533 >>63941558 >>63941628 >>63941631 >>63941807 >>63941858 >>63941912 >>63942011 >>63942033 >>63942075 >>63942117 >>63942333 >>63942464 >>63942702 >>63942854 >>63942967 >>63943062 >>63943077 >>63943138 >>63943293 >>63943350 >>63943371 >>63943444 >>63943476 >>63943878 >>63943928 >>63944052 >>63944193 >>63944202 >>63944438 >>63944524 >>63944578 >>63944755 >>63944803 >>63944834 >>63944869 >>63944911 >>63944979 >>63945288 >>63945313 >>63945353 >>63945616 >>63945623 >>63945698 >>63945819 >>63945892 >>63946023 >>63946091 >>63946418 >>63946481 >>63946485 >>63946590 >>63946645 >>63946652 >>63946737 >>63946899 >>63946904 >>63947003 >>63947197 >>63947259 >>63947294 >>63947373 >>63947377 >>63947398 >>63947476 >>63947535 >>63947563 >>63947585 >>63947663 >>63947890 >>63947906 >>63948001 >>63948102 >>63949027 >>63949073 >>63949190 >>63949262 >>63949321 >>63949382 >>63949449 >>63941261 I get it from here. https://www.mazuri.com/primate/ape?viewState=ListView&cartID=&portalUser=&store=&cclcl=en_US I use the Primate Growth&Reproduction Biscuit, as that's specifically formulated for male great apes to get large and f---, so I figure it's closest to what I want. It's also around $1 per pound, which makes chicken look expensive by comparison. Be warned, they are pretty flavorless and hard to chew. Soak them in water, dab some hot sauce on them, and enjoy. They serve as my base for nutrition and caloric intake. I fill out the rest of my meals with eggs, milk, and hot dog meat. O Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)13:45:03 No.63941631 ▸ File: Apu the comfy in Hot Springs.jpg (117 KB, 1024x768) >>63941349 Ooooooooooookie dokie.... >>63941349 >Crude protein not less than 20% >$27/25lbs Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)13:35:52 No.63941533 >>63941807 >>63943031 >5lbs of protein for $27 Oh wow that's pretty f------ cheap for 5lbs of protein plus additional mea- >Guaranteed Analysis: Ash not more than 8.0% H-------- anon. Can you taste it? Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)14:08:34 No.63941858 >>63941976 >>63942035 >>63942618 >>63947548 File: file.png (57 KB, 1162x233) Features and Benefits Guaranteed Analysis O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)19:45:20 No.63945616 File: 1606081052412.png (261 KB, 431x407) This is no longer flavortown >>63941349 My God... Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri) 19:46:11 No.63945623 File: 14170adadf3464a6.jpg (111 KB, 1119x1084) >>63941349 anon really returning to monkey holyshit O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)19:53:27 No.63945698 File: 1443492292979.jpg (16 KB, 240x255) Dehulled soybean meal, ground corn, ground soybean hulls, ground oats, fructose, corn gluten meal, soybean oil, calcium carbonate, flaxseed, sodium hexametaphosphate (DentaGuard), brewers dried yeast, dicalcium phosphate, dehydrated alfalfa meal, salt, natural flavor, l-ascorbyl-2-polyphosphate (stabilized vitamin C), taurine, pyridoxine hydrochloride, dl-methionine, iron polysaccharide complex, choline chloride, folic acid, cholecalciferol (form of vitamin D3), d- alpha tocopheryl acetate (form of vitamin E), calcium pantothenate, vitamin A acetate, biotin, menadione sodium bisulfite complex (source of vitamin K), I-lysine, preserved with mixed tocopherols (form of vitamin E), rosemary extract, thiamine mononitrate, vitamin B12 supplement, nicotinic acid, riboflavin supplement, citric acid, zinc proteinate, manganese proteinate, ground rice hulls, copper proteinate, cobalt proteinate, ethylenediamine dihydroiodide, sodium selenite. >>63941349 oh no no no no no Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri) 14:24:00 No.63942035 ► >>63943216 >>63943978 >>63944793 >>63941349 Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)13:34:03 No.63941507 ► >>63943062 Find out you're a f------ legend? >>63941349 Truly, anon, you are leaving humanity behind. Thank you, and Godspeed. Feeding Directions Ingredients ✰✰✰✰✰ Alex Karp a day ago Delicious >>63941858 I'm well aware of that s---. But I assume that since the rest of my diet consists entirely of animal protein it balances out, and I'd rather get nutrition from this than FDA processed carbs. Besides have you seen a silverback gorilla in a zoo? They are the opposite of soiboys Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)15:50:07 No.63943062 >>63943078 >>63943082 These taste fantastic. O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)14:58:16 No.63942464 >>63942512 O Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)15:57:53 No.63943138 ► >>63943883 >>63941349 please post body PLEASE □ Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)17:12:25 No.63944052 File: 1634024164950.gif (41 KB, 220x122) O Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)14:02:27 No.63941807 ► File: fit-1.jpg (7 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)14:50:47 No.63942367 ► O Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri) 16:17:15 No.63943350 File: 1629551160375.jpg (79 KB, 902x960) >>63941349 What the actual f--- Have you experimented the need to fling your feces since you starting eating this? Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)15:52:43 No.63943089 >>63942118 holy monke >>63941349 Id be lying if I said I wasn't interested in trying this but im scared of the social backlash when my friends find out ☐ Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)15:51:51 No.63943082 ► >>63941349 THEY DON'T SHIP TO THE UK W-- I WANT MY MONKE GAINS WHILE I SNORT MY GORILLA MODE PREWORKOUT >>63942333 we're already zoo monkeys, he's just cutting out the middleman Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)15:52:43 No.63943089 >>63942118 holy monke Recommends this product ✓✔ Yes Helpful? Yes. 54 No. 1 Report Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)14:27:28 No.63942075 ► >>63942118 O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)22:35:58 No.63947373 ► File: wealthy_keyboardist.jpg (43 KB, 350x442) >>63941349 >>63941349 Based ape enjoyer >>63941349 Incredibly based No luck yet on the reproduction, but I'm optimistic. These have def given me an extra per in my step. >>63941349 Put me in the screencap, top kek what a madlad >>63941349 O Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri) 14:33:44 No.63942161 ► >>63942221 >>63942118 Yo w-- Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)23:59:22 No.63948001 File: images.png (169 KB, 335x506) Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)16:12:16 No.63943293 ► >>63941349 I'm really tempted to buy this, the chewing would just be good for my jaw. I'm even more tempted to try this on my kids if I ever have any. Imagine feeding your son f------ Primate Growth biscuits as soon as he can chew them, he's gonna kill everything on the schoolyard. lul Posts like this are why I come here. Quit this place for a year and you just can't find this s--- on the normal internet >>63941533 Not him but I work in an animal feeds adjacent industry. The ash is from burnt foodstuffs and is often much lower th that 8%... But also sometimes higher and then the company pays less O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)14:31:12 No.63942118 >>63942161 >>63942226 >>63942668 >>63943089 >>63943327 >>63943466 >>63944644 File: 20211015_115419.jpg (3.67 MB, 3024x4032) >>63941349 True Silverback alpha mode >based Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri) 14:31:08 No.63942117 >>63941349 Dis n---- eating monkey biscuits w-- Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)17:29:57 No.63944193 >>63941349 can't tell if 50iq or 500iq >>63942075 6'1 200. This was me yesterday. I need to work on definition. Lost a lot in the last two months because I haven't been able to work out from an injury >>63941349 Jesus christ literally gorilla mode Ma O Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)21:08:12 No.63946481 File: 1633030921478.jpg (27 KB, 275x274) □ Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)21:08:46 No.63946485 ► File: 1540414720646.gif (1.96 MB, 400x225) >>63941349 Bruh Mazuri Primate Diets ONS DESENED FOR ALL LIPE STAGES OF PRAT O Anonymous 10/16/21 (Sat)03:33:29 No.63949382 ► File: 1621850658705.jpg (84 KB, 1175x818) O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri) 14:22:45 No.63942011 ► □ Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)14:15:11 No.63941912 >>63943949 >>63943990 >>63945311 File: PXL 20210524 020706364.jpg (3.28 MB, 4032x3024) ★★★★★ swoledaddy 2 days ago Great for bulking on a budget! O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)14:22:35 No.63942005 □ Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)23:28:16 No.63947795 File: 4.jpg (18 KB, 738x415) >>63941349 Absolute legend. An actual animal. >>63941349 Anon goes apemode Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)15:31:56 No.63942854 ► >>63943990 >>63945350 File: 20211014_114504.jpg (1.54 MB, 4000x3000) FED O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri) 16:58:16 No.63943878 ► >>63941976 Monke doesn't care, monke grow and f---. >>63941349 Put my dogs in the screencap ****** This is a great product to eat on a budget to help mainatin muscle mass. highly recommend, just wish they would cut down on the ash a bit Length of Use: 4-6 months Recommends this product ✓ Yes O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)21:11:31 No.63946507 ► Helpful? Yes 3 File: banana biscuit.png (60 KB, 669x300) ravne >>63941349 F--- it, include my cats In the screencap too >>63943077 >Why yes, I like my macros crude and not too ashy □ Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)19:18:39 No.63945353 ► File: kek.jpg (54 KB, 562x518) MTB FIBULE O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)23:40:49 No.63947890 >>63941349 Can anyone confirm? I'm just drunk enough to buy monkey biscuit for those economic gainz. O Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri) 17:07:13 No.63943991 ► >>63944051 >apeanon triggers mass buying of monke biscuits >gorillas starve while animal control launches investigations into monke smuggling operations and possible gorilla fighting pits NOVE >>63941349 Way to take chimping out to a whole new level. If you guys aren't getting banana flavor you're f------ sleeping. Anonymous 10/15/21 (Fri)22:54:32 No.63947563 ► >>63941349 F--- it I'll try some

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anon took the red pill while normies took the blue pill | /r/Greentext

Why are normies so weak? >go to reddit >see thread about Chris Chan >normies losing their mind >read "I am about to puke" >read "That's the most disturbing thing I've ever read" >read "omg, did he really?" >read "i can't anymore humanity is going downhill" Why are normies so weak? Do they really thing this is the wierdest thing that happened on earth? Are they living in a bubble knowing nothing about the world? They wouldn't survive a few seconds on /b.

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anon gains a distrust of authority | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB PNG >won't let me >liar 10/10/22 (Mon)15:06:08 No.887082245 >feel ear pain and go to doctor >doctor asks if I've been using q-tips >say no (I have been) >tells me q-tips are bad >ask him if he uses q-tips >he says no >ask to look in his ear

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Anon skips school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 173 KB PNG 01/06/23(Fri)10:29:39 No.71717657 >be skipping school in my room >hear someone enter my home >think its my dad since he sometimes gets out of work early >quickly hide under my bed, hit my head on the bed frame >turns out its just mom on her lunch break >go back to jacking off cuz shes a woman what is she gonna do about it hahaha

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anon doesnt get along with his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Arch 981 KB JPG 01/06/23(Fri)21:25:09 No.892146793 >be me >moved out from my parents bout a year ago >recently i bought myself a broken 4k projector for a bargain >changed the bulp, the colour wheel and the fan, which have been also cheap af >all in all less than $200 >runs awesome >no stupid ads, no s----- TV program, only comfy cinema vibe with the stuff i want to see >entertainmentisgood.exe >dad is the ultra boomer straight outta picture book >he has the typical boomer fetish for TVs, especially screensize >basically buys for every upcoming Super Bowl a new TV >dad sends me a message with a picture of his new TV >"LOOK ANON, I SOLD THE OLD ONE AND BOUGHT THIS BABY ONLY FOR A SMALL LOAN. LOOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY AND THE HIGH END FOCKIN RESOLUTION!!! SHE'S HUGE!! 90 INCHES!!!!!!!! >show dad my accomplishment >write him "mine has 110 inches" >... >dead silent >doesn't want to pick up the phone or respond in any way >week passes >ask mum what's wrong >mum tells me i hurt his feelings >... >start bursting out of laughter >spam my dad pics of my new projector and all the advantages i have Since he's the ultra-boomer, he doesn't know how to block me. In his mind he feels entitled to look at every message i send and it only makes him more furious. Mum even told me I should stop bullying him. Cope and seethe dad.

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anons friend has a weird fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous My best friend has a pissing f(...) No.892143329 >I have a friend who's been my best bro for 15+ years 77 KB PNG 01/06/23(Fri)20:15:37 >We hang out a lot >We lift weights together at my place regularly >During one of our lifting sessions he gets weird and runs to the bathroom >He comes with piss all over his pants >He seems visibly ashamed >This has never happened before >He asks for borrow one of my pants >Begs me not to tell anyone >I tell him it's fine, accidents happen >Think nothing more of it, probably just a one-time thing >He's brought this incident up multiple times when we lift already >"Haha kinda silly how you're not making fun of me over it anon" >"Remember that one time I p----- myself? Haha" >I ignore it.. >He keeps f------ bringing it up... >Realization starts to dawn on me >This guy has a pissing fetish and after 15 years he's finally comfortable enough to reveal it to me F---, f---, f---, I hate this so much. I consider this guy my brother, but this is making me lose all respect for him. I f------ hate that he revealed this aspect of himself and now I want to cut all contact. What the f--- should I do??

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Anon became a bit too relatable | /r/Greentext

File: 956360d6794dd9fe3fa21e7ef(...).png (107 KB, 778x900) ☐ missing my old view of the world Anonymous 01/06/23(Fri)21:12:55 No.71716010 [Reply] >be me 5 years ago >was 15 years old >had a sense of community and felt like i was part of one (high school) >experiences felt much more deep and amazing in a way i cannot describe >every few months felt like it was its own different era with a different vibe >the world was just more bright and amazing, it seemed ffw today >in college >no sense of community whatsoever >time has distorted itself so much (f--- you pandemic) such that it flies to fast >years feel the same as the last, with no growth or new stuff coming by >feel flat and superficial no matter what comes my way, feel like i became emotionally numb How do I restore my former psyche anons? I'd do just about anything to be able to enjoy life the way I used to be able to back in those days

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Anon critiques Family Guy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 498 KB PNG 02/06/22(Sun)15:43:48 No.128686674 It's weird how pre-cancellation Family Guy was more corny and cute ("Who touched the thermostat?"), while post- cancellation is cold and cynical with a lot of gore and politics. Perhaps this is a metaphor for how our society is more cynical now compared to the buoyant 1999. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)15:45:24 No.128686695

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Anon wonders how it happens | /r/Greentext

image_2023-01-03_191152625.png (2 KB, 800: >forces politics in games >divides communities how does it do it

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Jealous of Anon? | /r/Greentext

Board /v/ - Video Games jealous? Anonymous 114 KB JPG C60XaxaU0AAtfMa.jpg 162 KB JPG Settings Mobile Home 10/03/22(Mon)09:54:00 No.614002113 >>614002012 (OP) # >>614002303 # >>614002329# >>614002521 # >>614002564 # >>614002846 # >>614003279 # >>614003471 # >>614003814 # >>614004138 # >>614004165 # >>614004282 # >>614004506 # >>614005305 # >>614005905 # >>614006245 # 614008109 # 614010029 #614010935 #

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+1

Greentext Stories - Legendary incel | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Guys I need some help! Please read! Anonymous 11/05/16(Sat)03:24:29 No.710603525 So I've been c------ in my roommates girlfriend's body wash because they're annoying as f---. For like two months, jerk it in the shower, open the pump, dump it in, and give it a good shake. 14 KB JPG @THEPRANKZONE He just told me her period was super late so they took a pregnancy test and she's knocked up. He said "I trust her, I guess a condom ripped or idk" and they're going to raise it. We have a year on the lease. Problem is, I'm Greek and they're white as f---. What are the chances I'm a dad? : Anonymous what the f--- is wrong with you 11/05/16(Sat)03:25:48 No.710603604 >>710603671 # >>710604623 #

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