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: Anonymous >oh, waitress! *snaps fingers* come here, my poppet, I've decided on what I shall dine upon today. >May I have the BEARDY MCBEARDMAN MEGA BEEFY QUADRUPLE BEEF BEER BACON N BOURBON BURGER WITH 3000 MONTH PINK HIMALAYAN SALT CAVE AGED CRUELTY FREE SLAVERY FREE NON GMO FARM TO TABLE CIGAR SMOKED GOUDA >Oh, and of COURSE! My apologies for not realizing that the hot sauce menu was a subset of the MAIN menu (albeit a separate pamphlet detailing the intricacies of each sauce, as well as pairing suggestions, would be a welcome addition (pass that along to your sauce monger)). I shall sample your in-house BEELZEBUTT'S 7,000,000 SCOVILLE HEMORRHOID HOLOCAUST NUCLEAR A--- LEAKAGE XXXXXX FECAL FURY SAUCE; and, my sweet, mayhaps a bottle of it to go? Though I am yet to taste it, I am sure that my buddies at the barcade - yes, a portmanteau of 'bar' and 'arcade, and YES, you can actually DRINK as you PLAY VIDEO GAMES, whatever will they think of next? - will be utterly TICKLED by the label your crew has concocted for that bottle! 97 KB JPG 01/16/23(Mon)22:38:50 No.18819869 *taps glass* >and another round of your hoppiest IPA, please! >>18819892 #

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 708 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon has a sister. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/23(Wed)19:58:13 No.71872320 >looked through my 15 year old sisters stuff while she was away because it's f------ hilarious >found a diary ASL >jackpot 55 KB PNG >its all dated and organized, and written with maximum precision which is very odd because everything she owns is filthy and her handwriting has always been a mess >lots of cringey stuff for the most part until about 3 months ago >she's extremely infatuated with this boy >the text about him get more and more unhinged the deeper I read >from simple "I hope he notices me today" to paragraphs about how she followed him home and stole his jacket while his family was away >Huh. So that's where that unfamiliar oversized jacket came from. >paragraphs and detailed images of what it'd be like to dissect him (she's an excellent artist which made it 1000x more creepy) >paragraph after paragraph about all the freaky sex she'd have with him, most of it ending in death I'm honestly f------ scared.

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Anon is Youtube man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/18/23 (Wed)03:47:39 No.71869130 55 KB JPG >Hey guys, Charlie here >heres me explaining every minute detail of a 30 second clip on Twitter over the course of 10 minutes >here's the most milquetoast YouTuber or corporate drama you've ever heard >reviews thing people like: "it's good" >reviews thing people don't like: "it's bad" >all of this is funny because I use the words penis butt and fart in every sentence

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Anon does polish math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: TrMqFEvJ 01/03/23(Tue)01:33:30 No.410639017 cja liczebności kobiet do mężczyzu w o un an... age prawdopodobieństwo, że losowo wybrany junior z ESSA dostąpi awansu zawodowego w najbliższym roku. 12. Zawodowy snajper ukraiński trafia ruskiego ,żołnierza" (czyli: oku- panta) ze skutecznością 90%. Obliczyć prawdopodobieństwo, że w 10 nieza- leżnych podejściach snajper wyeliminuje co najmniej 8 ruskich okupantów. W rachunkach wykorzystać odpowiedni warsztat zmiennych losowych. 99A218B7-7670-4836-B85E-DC0B56A60D47.jpg 58 KB JPG Meanwhile in Polish high schools >Professional Ukrainian sniper hits a Russian „,soldier" (meaning: invader) with a success rate of 90%. Calculate the probability that in 10 independent tries the sniper eliminates at least 8 Russian invaders. Use proper random variables in your calculations. holy kek >>410639175 # >>410639189 # >>410639206 # >>410639366 # >>410639428 # >>410639563 # >>410639594 # >>410639665 # >>410639671 # >>410639701 # >>410639721 #

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Anon missed his opportunity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 127 KB JPG Anonymous 01/18/23(Wed)01:30:11 >really like this girl that's 1 in a billion >>71871612 # No.71871598 >we get put in a group together >have my head down the entire time >make no advances >class ends >high school ends >feel the regret in my chest every time I think about it she's f------ chad rn 01/18/23(Wed)01:30:58 No.71871602

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Anon "accidentally" raped his friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)18:59:47 No.24368210 >>24362959 >I think you can be a bitch sometimes? Yeah. It's happened a time or two. Not something I brag about, though. Old greentext: >"accidentally" r---- a friend of mine >she would join me and my wife for some MFF action >sometimes would stay with us for a couple of weeks >one time after much alcohol admits to r---/ravage fantasy >asks me to help her out >explain about safeword >wife is there and hears whole thing >3 days later, I make my move (early evening, no alcohol) >pull out c---, grab her back of head and shove her down >she resists at first then gives lackluster bj >act angry, throw her back onto the couch and rip her t-shirt and panties off >slap her a couple of times complaining about s----- b------- >her face is in shock, crying (c--- getting harder) >shove it in her vag, a little dry at first but don't care >she's still crying while I pound her >grab handy lube, apply it, then start pounding her in the ass >hurts her, more tears >wife is there, kisses her, comforts her >shove c--- back in vag and c-- my brains out >lay back, pull her into my arms to calm her down >she asks "Why did you do that to me?!" >"You asked me to" >wife reminds her of earlier discussion >girl says she's sorry she forgot >said she was still scared but happy it happened >relaxed MFF time later that night Basically I r---- a girl in front of/with my wife and everybody was happy in the end.

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This greentext was written by a spider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 923 KB JPG >cute >funny >friendly 08/19/21(Thu)12:58:03 No.65049060 >good mothers >funky dance moves >favorite food is mosquitos and termites >venom not dangerous >don't bite people >don't make irritating webs >easy to find why haven't you released an army of jumping spiders in your house

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Anon lost his master | /r/Greentext

No.179379603 File: dying-yoda-return-of-the-(...).jpg (171 KB, 1280x720) >>179374914 (OP). >me 20 6/10 nerd >her 8/10 cutie spanish girl >first and only people either of has ever done anything sexual with Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)22:56:18 >be good friends for 6 month but both too awkward >be on Vanilla WOW JUST getting a tank for Sunken Temple >get a call from her telling me no one is home, NO ONE IS HOME >tell my group im about to lose my virginity >group goes wild wishes me luck >head over >both nervouse >throw on retuen of the jedi and we start awkwardly fooling around >put my penis in and look over >yoda and my virginty are gone

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Anons dad is based | /r/Greentext

>See's my sister getting ready >"going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house >my dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhhh...no...uhhh...c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." Best dad ever.

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L notices a pattern | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed)06:05:53 No. 173095521 File: original.png (603 KB, 1280x720) >>173095708 >>173095445 (OP) >LIGHTI >Despite being just 13% of the population, 50% of names in this notebook belong to african americans. >Explain yourself immediately.

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Anon goes whale-watching | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPEG 1/17/2023,7:51:17 PM > NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT SPENDING $100 A WEEK ON MY PHONE GAME IS IRRESPONSIBLE > LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS I f------ hate talking to people No.34470495

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Anon should have said Gloc and he won't be bullied anymore. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21 (Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed 430 KB PNG > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Anon wants to tell you about the best sandwich he's ever had. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)00:01:43 No.18698453 ► >>18698491 >>18698605 File: YGOQHnt0Gfl.jpg (78 KB, 1280x720) "Lemme tell ya bout the best f-----' sanwich I eva had, I got one of dose giant gummy bears and put it thru a deli slicer, an put that s--- on some f-----' poptarts, I ain't f-----' aroun here Joe Rogan, the gummy? Got it off a guy I know down in Queens, lemme tell ya sumthin, that m--------- had enough THC to turn 6 elephants retarded and I ate the whole f----- thing on the way here tonight. You're in for a wild ride Roe Jogan cause I aint tell ya the worse part, the gummy was sugar free, an I ate the whole f----- thing. I locked the doors Joe Jogan, I stuffed the vents, that humidifier is pumping out a ridiculous amount of DMT, were fighting god tonight Roe Rogan, an I'm gonna s--- all over that cocksuckers carpet"

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Greentext Stories - Anon burgers a burger | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous >oh, waitress! *snaps fingers* come here, my poppet, I've decided on what I shall dine upon today. >May I have the BEARDY MCBEARDMAN MEGA BEEFY QUADRUPLE BEEF BEER BACON N BOURBON BURGER WITH 3000 MONTH PINK HIMALAYAN SALT CAVE AGED CRUELTY FREE SLAVERY FREE NON GMO FARM TO TABLE CIGAR SMOKED GOUDA >Oh, and of COURSE! My apologies for not realizing that the hot sauce menu was a subset of the MAIN menu (albeit a separate pamphlet detailing the intricacies of each sauce, as well as pairing suggestions, would be a welcome addition (pass that along to your sauce monger)). I shall sample your in-house BEELZEBUTT'S 7,000,000 SCOVILLE HEMORRHOID HOLOCAUST NUCLEAR A--- LEAKAGE XXXXXX FECAL FURY SAUCE; and, my sweet, mayhaps a bottle of it to go? Though I am yet to taste it, I am sure that my buddies at the barcade - yes, a portmanteau of 'bar' and 'arcade, and YES, you can actually DRINK as you PLAY VIDEO GAMES, whatever will they think of next? - will be utterly TICKLED by the label your crew has concocted for that bottle! 97 KB JPG 01/16/23(Mon)22:38:50 No.18819869 *taps glass* >and another round of your hoppiest IPA, please! >>18819892 #

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