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File: unknown.png (213 KB, 528x604) Anonymous 05/31/22(Tue)19:06:23 No.879267283 >had a f-- friend in high school who wore white dress shirts to school every day >always bullied him for it >>879267484 >years later in college all my normal clothes are dirty, forced to wear dress shirt I bought for a job interview >notice women looking at me more on the subway to school >friend from class comments on it and tells me I'm looking good >so much more comfortable and breezy than i expected, as comfortable as any t-shirt >why haven't you taken the dress shirt pill anon?

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon find's his 'literally me' | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 179767055 418.9 kB PNG It finally happened, /tv/. I found my "he's literally me!" >dull >needy >obsessive >no friends >chase everyone away >no self-awareness 15 REPLIES 5 IMAGES 415.0 kB PNG >immature, unrealistically hopeful >emotionally unstable The only thing is that I'm not Irish and don't have a sister. Anonymous | 179767117 5 hr ago... borvoven 1 REPLY REPLY 5 hr ago ...

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Every F****** Time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 56 KB JPG 08/31/21(Tue)16:50:41 No.16630574 >Waitress asks if your meal is ok >mouth is full 87 Replies/17 Images View Thread 09/02/21(Thu)07:39:18 No.16637813 : Anonymous >>16636880 # >food comes out >put literal first bite in my mouth >"HOW'S EVERYTHING TASTING???" How should I f------ know? I barely tasted what I just put in my mouth. >politely give thumbs up and smile because the first bite didn't make me vomit instantly >eat a couple more bites >discover something wrong with the food >start actively looking around for the waitress >she's nowhere to be found for the next half hour Every f------ time.

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femcel lore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 109 KB JPG 01/26/23(Thu)23:53:19 No.71975909 >be me >femcel >literally only because i'm homeschooled so my entire life is online >have online best friend >we're super close, we've known each other for 2 years and can still talk for hours >never really thought of him intimately, saw him as more of a brother, plus i didn't know what he looked like >we met up recently >he's actually not bad looking >he has long hair and he looks pretty like a girl, but he's also a foot taller than me and kinda jacked >we're hanging out in my room just talking because there's nothing else to do in my town >he suddenly stands up and faces the wall for no reason >notice him hiding a boner >holyshitdoeshelikeme??? >later >we're hugging goodbye >he says something corny like "you're so small and huggable" >feel his boner poking me >again dont say anything, he leaves i have no idea how to feel. he's cute and id totally date him but he lives a state away and im not even sure if he actually likes me??? do boners mean a guy likes you or is it just a hormones thing? help i have no experience with boys

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Anon Poops on a Plate | /r/Greentext

1h (8/16 14:24). 69837166 5 Re 0 Img PNG 210KB (633 × 758) 1 Reply >live in a flat with 3 people >have to s--- ↓ >toilet is occupied >go back to my room and wait >the urge to s--- is getting unbearable ff 15 min >toilet still occupied >nearly s------- ms >can't hold it in >s--- on a plate I shidded on a plate and have to sit in my room that smells like s---, bc I couldn't knock on the door and my flatmate to hurry 1h (8/16 14:28). 69837209 1 Reply >started getting a boner thinking of what you could do with this it's f------ over

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Bueno: howling men | /r/Greentext

File: 1363944296014.jpg-(81 KB. 569x625, image.jpg) Bueno. >takes bitches card >I'm sorry ma'am, it was declined" >the bar falls silent Anonymous Jr 03/22/13(Fri)05:24 No. 11535288 Replies: >>11535531 >be at bar with friends >drinkingallnight >feminazi across bar >treating male bartender like s--- >spouting endless reason why men made her fat >her wymin friends agree >a devilish idea pops into my head >grab shot glass >"by all means, it was..." >take shot >slam glass down >shatters >equally devilish grin spreads across my face >call to bartender >tell him i'll pay her tab as her lower female wages won't be enough >order shot for effect >bitch done eating >asks for tab >my penis begins to swell with anticipation >bartender is a bro >feminazis eyes swell "w-what?" >other men see my smile >they begin grunting like apes >women begin to s-- gently >immediately speak up: "ill cover it" >bartender hands me her check >bitch begins to wail >wimyn friends join her >the men begin banging their chests and howling >my erection barley contained in my pants >i sign my name on the bill >my friends go wild >"th-th-thank y-you..." she squeaks >"...my privilege." >the men go insane >now fighting each other with diamond hard erections >women everywhere crying in the fetal position at this display of oppression >turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Dumbledore Asked Calmly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/26/23(Thu)11:48:59 No.179764444 Calmly.jpg 441 KB JPG >HARRY POTTER >DID YOU PUT THE PFIZER DOCUMENTS IN THE GOBLET >*Inhales* >OF >*Inhales* >FIIIIRE?!!

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Anon gets hit by his teacher constantly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 KB JPG 03/10/21 (Wed)21:45:22 No.62695227 >be me >highschool gym class >shirts vs skins >take off shirt >gym teacher sees my bruises >get called into office >asked if bruises are from home >no these are from school >oh ok >never chosen for skins again >thanks gym teacher

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Anon commits chemical warfare | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/15/18(Sun)19:41:20 No.44709361 >yesterday >it's my little sister's birthday >she's a literal 13 year old Stacy >f------ spoiled as s--- as well >always tells me to leave the house already as I am 26 years old >hate her guts >be lactose intolerant >she and her classmates were out bowling >eat a s--- ton of varying dairy products >2 different kinds of yogurt, 3 different kinds of cheese and 2 tall glasses of milk >a deadlier version of mustard gas starts building up inside of me >spend the next 15 minutes farting inside my sister's bedroom >farted in every single sleeping bag and corner >10 minutes later sister comes back >they all run upstairs to watch some gay dancing movie >sister opens door >a wall of sulfuric gas hits her and her friends in the face >one of the quiet kids almost fainted >sister yells at parents >parents suspect it's a gas leak because they thought no man could produce such stench >got off scot-free Anyone else /devilish/?

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Anon gets approached by a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB JPG 01/27/23(Fri) 14:39:59 No.893350304 >Be me, in University >Busy working on my assignment in the library >Spot a gal doing the same thing >She leaves for a coffee break, but suddenly comes back like she forgot something >Asks me if I would like to give company to her >Sure, why not >Both of us drinking coffee awkwardly >Have no idea why she wanted my company >Then she ends the silence by telling me that she has been working on a paper related to human psychology >I then understood why she wanted my company >Bitch thinks I'm a human psychology subject because I act retarded sometimes >Date? >Yeah >Get offended and tell her that I need to get back to the library to finish my work >She apologizes to me, and asks me out on a date on the whim >Mind-Blown >*Retardation kicks in* >I say, but why should I date you!? >She gets offended this time, and tells me that we aren't dating, but just wants to go out on a date with me >Ask her what's her ideal date night sounds like >She tells me that we should go on a picnic >Weird, but alright I guess >She then shows me this remote location (literally in the middle of b------ nowhere) on her phone, and tells me that the place is a perfect spot for picnic >I'm getting murdered aren't I, anons? imgflip.com

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I can confirm | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/22(Sun)11:21:03 No.127007146 Flag_of_Argentina.svg.png 28 KB PNG >World Cup ends >Argentina back to being poor irrelevant s------- full of low iq brown people >>127012821 # : Anonymous >>127007146 (OP) # Yes, I'm okay with it 12/11/22(Sun)11:22:24 No.127007184

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"This job interviews are some sort of lying contest, isnt it?" | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 359 KB PNG 10/12/21 (Tue)00:04:58 No.65728352 >be me >job interview >"Anon I notice you've never had a job before despite being 20, why is that?" >I just never wanted one until now >"I see..." >never hear from them again What the f--- was I supposed to say? Did they want me to lie?

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Anon's pee pee is different- | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: XOUJKHrL) 11/09/12 (Fri)09:42 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career

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Greentext Stories - Dress for the job you want | /r/Greentext

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File: unknown.png (213 KB, 528x604) Anonymous 05/31/22(Tue)19:06:23 No.879267283 >had a f-- friend in high school who wore white dress shirts to school every day >always bullied him for it >>879267484 >years later in college all my normal clothes are dirty, forced to wear dress shirt I bought for a job interview >notice women looking at me more on the subway to school >friend from class comments on it and tells me I'm looking good >so much more comfortable and breezy than i expected, as comfortable as any t-shirt >why haven't you taken the dress shirt pill anon?

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