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The more I think about it the more I realize I was doomed from the start Anonymous 01/07/23(Sat)10:35:44 No.71730626 >be me >12 years old >family moves into rental house with dog >the house is nice but our dog isn't used to peeing in the new backyard so she goes on the floor >parents get super p----- when they see it, literally can't bring themselves to clean it because of how mad it makes them >they tell me every time I clean up piss they'll give me a dollar >a few weeks go by >have a couple peebucks saved, feels good to have money in your pocket as a kid >riding my bike home from school one day when I see a poster in the GameStop window >brake my bike so hard I fall to the ground >lift my head up >"ROCK BAND 3 - OCT. 26, 2010" >super excited. Me and my friends are huge Rock Band fans. I need to get this f------ game. >you already know where this is going. I get home and piss in front of the fridge >dad gets home, sees the pee >"I SWEAR IM GONNA KILL THAT F------ DOG" >he yells at her, she shamefully walks away with her head down >feel kinda bad but its a small price to pay for gaming >keep the charade up for two or three months. Every time my dad gets home he points at my piss and yells at the dog >eventually we start crating the dog >no problem, just piss next to the crate to make it look like she's going through the cage >keep soaking in the peebucks. I'll gladly scrub my own piss off the floor if it means I get to play Free Bird >finally, after three months I have enough money to buy the game with some accessories >pick it up while riding home from school, gently place it in my backpack >get home, already planning sleepover with my friends so we can play together >walk through the door, mom and dad are sitting on the couch looking at me >"buddy, we need to talk to you about something. We all love Mitzy but we can't have her peeing around the house everyday. We called the shelter and they're coming to pick her up tomorrow morning" >on the verge of tears. I had her since kindergarten and really did love her despite everything I did >can't confess because parents would disown me Anonymous 01/07/23 (Sat)10:39:14 No.71730667 >I go to my room and bawl my eyes out >they picked her up the next morning. My face still hurt from crying. I swear she looked back at me from the car, as to say "help me, anon :(" To this day, deep in my closet, there's an unopened copy of Rock Band 3.

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon from Turkey | /r/Greentext

File: 1458804986522.jpg (40 KB, 657x527) Anonymous 05/26/16(Thu)08:45:57 No.59917016 >>59917627 >>59918824 >>59920808 >>59922974 >>59930535 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_genocide https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assyrian_genocide https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenian Genocide turkey pay reparations >> Anonymous 05/26/16 (Thu)08:55:30 No.59917251 ► File: image.jpg (48 KB, 550x659) @Greece pay denbts >> Anonymous 05/26/16(Thu)09:06:16 No.59917545 >>59918566 >>59918603 >>59919263 >>59919385 >>59920398 >>59921039 >>59921107 >>59921576 >>59921604 >>59921893 >>59921979 >>59922534 >>59923226 >>59923461 >>59923545 >>59927611 >>59930119 >>59931645 >>59933085 >>59933533 >>59933870 >>59935139 >>59936136 >>59936531 >>59939057 I'm truly sorry for these occurrences. I'm actually not b8ing or memeing right now, I'm serious for once so bear with me. We have commited a vile and shameful crime and we should answer for not by reperations (as we're relatively a poor country) but at the very least, we should accept that it happened, and make something like that never happens again. Come on lads we're better than this, we shouldn't deny a f------ fact. So once again, people of the world, I apologize for the actions of my ancestors. I apologize because you have to live in a world which is still populated by Greeks and Armenians. I apologize for not finishing the job.

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Anon cannot escape his own virginity | /r/Greentext

File: 5EA3B33E-7349-4DB9-A920-2(...).jpg (16 KB, 237x189) OO O Did I just mega cuck myself? Anonymous 02/04/23(Sat)08:18:18 N >be me >on a beach >9/10 qt3.14 comes up to me >she's doing really suggestive poses in front of me and dirty talking to me >"umm, please go away" >she's very persistent and keeps doing it, she's on all fours at this point >"please stop" >she walks away >a few minutes later I wake up >mfw I realised I denied sex in a dream. Tf is wrong with me?

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anon is solving homelessness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 272 KB JPG 06/22/21(Tue)18:57:42 No.857446821 >be me, 28 year old Texas f-- >live in Corpus Christi >love it here but city has a bad homeless problem >get sick of it and take matters into my own hands >last week find a hobo walking through grocery store parking lot in morning >strike up conversation and befriend him >offer to pay him $200 if he helps me move furniture out of my house in Austin >he agrees >I don't have house in Austin >we go to Austin, -4 hour drive >he gets out to use bathroom in gas station in random ghetto >I leave him and drive back to corpus Is relocating the homeless to s--- cities the answer we've been looking for? I think next weekend I'm gonna pick up 3 hobos and leave them in Dallas

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target acquired | /r/Greentext

⠀ Operation Balloon shoot down thread #2 Operation Balloon shoot down t(...) 02/04/23(Sat)07:45:21 No.414771151 Cape Giraudeau anon.png 1.36 MB PNG >Current location: Cape Giraudeau, Missouri area >Tracking ~7.5 mph south by southwest >Anons in S.E. MO, N.W. TN, S.W. KY report sightings (time, altitude, direction of travel) >Anons illuminate balloon with any laser they can get hands on, balloon will get brighter in sky with every laser added >Sensors will be blinded/destroyed >Post pics of you using laser on balloon here and to social medias, this will activate army of normie golems to join in >When we get enough lasers on balloon the thin skin will degrade and leak, balloon will come down >We then "loot drop" it and mock feds as they beg us to give it to them, sell parts on ebay >Humiliate Xi, Biden

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ File: cryemo.jpg (8 KB, 264x191) Auto] [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Pain 02/02/23(Thu)15:39:47 No.893713267 >Favorite hentai site shuts down Anonymous 02/02/23(Thu)15:44:24 No.893713496 >>893713681 You should go to church OP You need the LORD, not degeneracy! Pain 02/02/23(Thu)15:47:54 No.893713681 >>893713496 Says the guy on /b/

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Anon is a racist | /r/Greentext

1675332011681773m.jpg 46 KB JPG >be me, Kentucky resident at the age of 10 >Elementary school recess >One of the black kids at the playground is bullying the gay kid >I'm overweight but I look big so someone asks me to beat the black kid up >Decide to yell at him while chasing him "you stop bullying that gay boy you dumb n*gger!" >Teacher who for some stupid f------ reason ignored the whole thing to this point grabs me and pulls me into the principles office >Explain to him that I fought homophobia with racism >No suspension, instead have to apologize to black kid, we end up being friends and we laugh about the incident >Turns out gay fella wasn't actually gay and was just pretending to be cool, he would end up f------ my first girlfriend behind my back >I'm in my 30s now and this is still the most significant part of my life

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Anon just wants to play Bloodborne in actual full HD with decent fps | /r/Greentext

02/04/23(Sat)10:36:32 No.626539342 76 KB JPG >wake up >go on das interweb >check if Bloodborne remaster got announced for PS5 (and hopefully PC) >nah.jpg >be upset >do it again next day >doing this for nearly 2 years now just why? it'd sell like cupcakes on Steam, but Snoy decides to bring Last of Us 1 instead >inb4 just play it on PS4 yea, play it in upscaled 900p and 27 fps, no thanks >inb4 just play it on your PS5 in bc mode yea, play it with no patch, in 4K upscaled from already upscaled 900p and 29 fps, no thanks

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Anon is a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 4 REPLIES 773650902 >be me, man >identify as a female because gender is a social construct >j------- >once I'm done, identify as male again >got jerked off by a gril >mfw got a h------ See you later virgins

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Anon surfs the web | /r/Greentext

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Joe Rogan goes on a slight tangent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/03/23(Fri)15:35:22 No.180092108 85F02C1B-31A8-47B6-B0B0-86F4BACF190F.jpg 23 KB JPG >F--- man did you see those muscles on that Kangaroo? H--------. Dude if you were to train one of those in MMA they'd punch your head clean off I'm telling you >T-that's great Joe. Can we get back to talking about economics now? : Anonymous 02/03/23(Fri)15:36:56 No.180092167 f--- off, Joe taught me to never fight a chimp. I would never otherwise have learned such wisdom. it may have saved my life.

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: YfQ110Hc) 06/14/13(Fri)15:57:55 No.487006667 How did you manage to get back with your girlfriend?? >Be 22 >Dumped by 7/10 >Little to no contact now >7/10 used to bring her siberian husky pup, Roscoe, to my house daily >3 months later >Lightbulb.png I DEED IT >Hugs and kisses. He's missed me >See on Fbook she posted her dog has runaway >Don't comment >F---, I have to try again >Wait another week >Devise plan to kidnap Roscoe while she is at work >Kidnap Roscoe >Going according to my plan >Hangout with Roscoe for a few days >Call 7/10 "Roscoe just showed up at my house!!" >She shows up in tears and thanks me >*You're welcome. It was really good to see Roscoe...a-a-and you. >Smiles, hugs me and leaves. >Kidnap Roscoe again >Once more, call her with the good news. >She show's up while Roscoe and I are playing in the yard >"Wow he must really miss you I guess, Anon >Heh, yeah, I have missed him too.. >"He's not the only one who's missed you..." >Kiss the bitch and ask her to stay >MFW I got my girlfriend back by kidnapping her dog

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Such an inspiration! Elon truly is the future. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 156 KB JPG 02/14/22(Mon)12:32:57 No.872670361 >tortured and killed 15 monkeys with diabolical brain chips >couldn't make Roadster (a car) >couldn't make Cybertruck (an ugly car) >couldn't make Loop (a tunnel, literally) >currently trashing Earth orbit with Starlink >thinks wasting nuclear power by nuking Mars is a good idea You guys sure this is real life Tony Stark?

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Greentext Stories - Anon’s saves his money | /r/Greentext

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The more I think about it the more I realize I was doomed from the start Anonymous 01/07/23(Sat)10:35:44 No.71730626 >be me >12 years old >family moves into rental house with dog >the house is nice but our dog isn't used to peeing in the new backyard so she goes on the floor >parents get super p----- when they see it, literally can't bring themselves to clean it because of how mad it makes them >they tell me every time I clean up piss they'll give me a dollar >a few weeks go by >have a couple peebucks saved, feels good to have money in your pocket as a kid >riding my bike home from school one day when I see a poster in the GameStop window >brake my bike so hard I fall to the ground >lift my head up >"ROCK BAND 3 - OCT. 26, 2010" >super excited. Me and my friends are huge Rock Band fans. I need to get this f------ game. >you already know where this is going. I get home and piss in front of the fridge >dad gets home, sees the pee >"I SWEAR IM GONNA KILL THAT F------ DOG" >he yells at her, she shamefully walks away with her head down >feel kinda bad but its a small price to pay for gaming >keep the charade up for two or three months. Every time my dad gets home he points at my piss and yells at the dog >eventually we start crating the dog >no problem, just piss next to the crate to make it look like she's going through the cage >keep soaking in the peebucks. I'll gladly scrub my own piss off the floor if it means I get to play Free Bird >finally, after three months I have enough money to buy the game with some accessories >pick it up while riding home from school, gently place it in my backpack >get home, already planning sleepover with my friends so we can play together >walk through the door, mom and dad are sitting on the couch looking at me >"buddy, we need to talk to you about something. We all love Mitzy but we can't have her peeing around the house everyday. We called the shelter and they're coming to pick her up tomorrow morning" >on the verge of tears. I had her since kindergarten and really did love her despite everything I did >can't confess because parents would disown me Anonymous 01/07/23 (Sat)10:39:14 No.71730667 >I go to my room and bawl my eyes out >they picked her up the next morning. My face still hurt from crying. I swear she looked back at me from the car, as to say "help me, anon :(" To this day, deep in my closet, there's an unopened copy of Rock Band 3.

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