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File: pepepoopoo.png (29 KB, 300x250) Greentext Anonymous 04/03/23 (Mon)00:48:13 No.896948003 >>896948034 >Be me, 3 years old >wake up at 1 am >havetopoop.jpg >realize I won't make it to the bathroom in time >get idea >take my trashcan and poop in there >go back to sleep >dad walks in while I'm sleeping, smelling poop >he can't locate it after 5 minutes of searching >he wakes up mom >mom finds it immediately and makes dad clean up trashcan poop >mfw the bathroom was less than 10 feet away from the trashcan >mfw I made my dad clean trashcan poop for no reason

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon has a ghost story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous > Be me at 16 > a friend invites me to smoke > Friend suggests we go to a cut > Idk where it is, so I agree and follow > We walk across town and stop at an abandoned house by my old middle school > instant bad feeling > there was lots of rumors about the house 04/03/23(Mon)07:17:22 No.34461039 > The homes owner allegedly killed himself > a girl from another school went missing some years prior. > Last seen by the house. > I'm already creeped out but want to get high, so I go in anyway. > The inside is dark. All the windows and doors are boarded. > We had to get in and out by climbing through a hole in one of the walls. > Graffiti and broken glass everywhere. > We sit amid the debris and smoke. > while we're there I can hear noises from inside the darkness. >Scratching. Creaking. > We shine a phone light down the dark hall but something weird happened. > The house was small, but the darkness inside was deep. > The hallway beside the room where we were looked like it went on forever. > More noises. More scratching. Louder than before. > I'm starting to freak out but say nothing because my friend would talk s---. > My friend says we should explore the house, see if there's anything valuable in it. > I'm at my limit, too creeped out. > I make up an excuse and say I need to go home, and we leave > While we're walking back I ask him if he heard the sounds in the house > "What noises man? I didn't hear anything..." > I drop the matter, and we part ways. I neither of us went back to the house again after that.

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Anon’s new outlook | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/23 (Mon)20:24:28 No.72818809 638 KB PNG I ran into an autistic kid while being a wagie also 'tism thread >be me, 21 years old >working a deadend job at a fast food >one day a autistic kid comes in and orders a 20-piece chicken nugget meal >as i'm handing him the bag, he looks at me dead in the eye and says "I hope you know how lucky you are to be working with chicken nuggies all day" >at first i'm confused but realize he is right >chicken nuggies are the ultimate food, the perfect combination of crispy breading and juicy meat >I start thinking about all the different dipping sauces and ways to eat chicken nuggies >BBQ, honey mustard, even ranch >from that moment on, I have a newfound appreciation for my job and the chicken nuggies >I'm serving Even start experimenting with my own chicken nuggie creations, like dipping them in milkshake or chocolate >Thank you random autistic kid

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anon is "straight" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 86 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)15:19:59 No.72628067 I'm straight but I would tongue man's foreskin before licking and massaging the glans delicately just to see his reaction

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Anon is harassing girls | /r/Greentext

Anonymous banned from the grocery store 04/04/23(Tue)00:12:52 No.72817024 89 KB PNG >go to pick up some groceries >at checkout line >foid cashier >nervous already, but figure i will just act calm >im the last one in line, there's no one else >notice up close how cute she is >egirl aesthetic with wednesday addams hair and really pretty >can feel my spaghetti being lost already >she checks of all my items, i pay >she asks me how long i have had my hair dyed (i have it blonde similar to xqc) >tell her 2 months >she nods and doesnt reply >suffer a tism attack and tell her "i can see you have the egirl look going on" >"yea" while giving me a bit of a weird look >"i think you look very sexy with it" >meant to say pretty, now i f----- up >she looks visibly uncomfortable >another employee comes up, tells me i cant speak that way to the employees and that im banned from the store >say nothing and get my groceries >speedwalk as fast as i can out of there I just came back and ive been crying for the past 20 minutes. why am i like this?

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Anon offers some interesting tips for everyday life. | /r/Greentext

File 1248135955.jpg-(77 KB, 1200x1200, Tips.jpg) TIPS Sig aka Jizzy 07/20/09(Mon)20:25:55 No.147652384 ITT: Tips for everyday life. I'll start; When you're given a cocktail napkin or coaster with an excessively wet drink (condensation), sprinkle salt on it. It will cease to lift up with your drink. Get hold of an army ration pack and keep it in your house / car. Especially useful in cold climates. If you need to leave your car in an area where you think it might get stolen, remove some small but vital part like the fuse for the fuel pump. Even though you may be nervous about talking to random people, the worst you can get is "Go away." Open a bank account, put a hundred dollars in it. Then put the atm card in a box somewhere. Having a hundred dollars that no one knows about could save your life. You can throw clothes in the dryer for about 5 minutes or so to get wrinkles out. Put smelly shoes in a plastic bag and put it in the freezer overnight. The smell is caused by bacteria, which will die when deep frozen. Use lighter fluid to remove sticky stuff from price labels etc. A couple of grains of rice a salt shaker will absorb moisture and keep the salt from turning into a miniature brick. Sharpen scissors by using them a few times on a piece of sand paper. If theres something you really need to remember the next day, put a weird object in a weird place. It helps you to remember anything by triggering your memory.

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Anon has a heavy bag | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.35 MB GIF 04/03/23 (Mon)18:45:25 No.72814134 >Anon why is your book bag so heavy and since when have you started bringing a duffle bag to school? >mfw

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Anon cannot handle the breast style | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 896986484 205.3 kB JPG 1 REPLY 0 IMAGES 3 min ago How did this f----- get so rich and famous? >Not good looking >Not funny >Not exciting >Not the least bit entertaining He somehow got money from views from his trash videos early on and keeps his views by giving away money? What the f--- is wrong with the world Anonymous 896986525 REPLY min ago Seething cause he's rich and you're a fat incel basement dweller

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Anon is scared of Jewish people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/23(Mon)15:39:41 No.72815506 a33.gif 756 KB GIF >Be me. >When I was a kid my Grandma would warn me about Jews. "Stay away from them anon, Jews like to snatch kids up and then cook them in a pot!" >My naive and impressionable mind ate up her stories. >Develop a genuine fear of Hasidic Jews. >Would cross the street to avoid one when I would walk to school. >Would sweat and panic when I was alone with one in an elevator once. >Eventually grow up and realise my grandma is just an delusional. Still get a jump in my stomach when I see a jew. Thanks grandma for the stress.

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Anon is a shitty friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Am I in the wrong here? What d(...) ¿ 106 KB PNG 04/03/23 (Mon)21:18:12 No.72815312 >meet girl at friends house party >start flirting >she likes me >we text for a week or so >ask her on a date, she agrees >go to the zoo, date went well but no kiss or anything >text for a bit more >eventually we start talking about maybe taking it more seriously >agree to bring up our potential deal breakers >I ask if she's had sex before >she says yes >tell her it's not gonna work out >she's sad but understands >wants to stay friends >okay skip forward 2 months >she calls me on the phone >starts yelling at me for being a s----- friend and not texting or calling or meeting up with her for two months >she was just yelling and I couldn't get a single word in so I just hung up She's been texting and trying to call non-stop but I haven't responded yet, I don't really know what to say? I'm fine with having her as a friendly acquaintance, you know the kind that I see like 2-3 times a year and sometimes play vidya with but I already have 3 actual friends that eat my time up and I don't want more.

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Anon is tired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/23 (Mon)12:34:21 No.72811549 >"life will be better when you finish highschool" >had to be mcdonald wagie before I can go to college >"life will be better when you finish college" >got $60k tuition debt from college >"life will be better when you have a job" >10hrs/day with $20/hrs (before tax), a quarter goes to rent >"life will be better when you have a wife" f--- it robots I ain't having any of this s--- anymore, how do I find a trad gay husband? 15 KB JPG

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Anon is a minecraft IT Consultant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous s----- clients 215 KB JPG 04/03/23(Mon)18:04:28 No.72813776 > be me > IT consultant, people call me in if their code is s--- and they need help > hired for a job for some retard and his minecraft server > dont play minecraft but at least i may get paid > guy lives somewhere in europe or something > deliberately cagey about what he wants, clearly doesn't speak english well > whatever, it's for the money > "so i need you to help me reprogram my entire server" > okay, i can do that i think > "oh, but i need it by 1 week from now" > huh.jpg > "also it's written in skript, this language written exclusively for minecraft" > whatthefuck.png > i ask the kid to give me his codebase so i can have some idea of what he wants because i'm not developing his server from a list of ideas he wants > "oh, sorry, i can't do that because you might steal my server" > kid provides a 2 page google doc outlining his expectations, included are the following: > "make server super cool", "pvp arena", "builders", "straff appications [sic]", "awesome pve features" this kid wants me to reprogram his entire minecraft server's codebase in a programming language i've never heard of, in one week, without access to the previous codebase, and when he gave me a list of things he wants from his server he gave me effectively no actual detail. i hope my pc catches fire

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Anon can't take it anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XtGEanJk AAAAA!! AAAAAA! AAAAAAA warm AAAAA 04/03/23 (Mon)10:34:21 No.422147926 >s--- happening every few years >s--- happening every year >s--- happening every month >s--- happening every week >s--- happening every few days >now s--- happening every few hours 73 KB JPG we're gonna die soon aren't we?

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Greentext Stories - Anon Needs to Poop | /r/Greentext

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File: pepepoopoo.png (29 KB, 300x250) Greentext Anonymous 04/03/23 (Mon)00:48:13 No.896948003 >>896948034 >Be me, 3 years old >wake up at 1 am >havetopoop.jpg >realize I won't make it to the bathroom in time >get idea >take my trashcan and poop in there >go back to sleep >dad walks in while I'm sleeping, smelling poop >he can't locate it after 5 minutes of searching >he wakes up mom >mom finds it immediately and makes dad clean up trashcan poop >mfw the bathroom was less than 10 feet away from the trashcan >mfw I made my dad clean trashcan poop for no reason

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