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Anonymous (ID: N88N2iGK) 05/06/17(Sat)22:32:10 No.170514 >be me >browsing reddit >find new subreddit >looks interesting, good amount of subscribers >immediately bombarded with colorful CSS theme >big banner telling me to subscribe >can't vote unless I'm subscribed >top sticky thread is promoting their new discord channel >second sticky thread is about whatever the current discussion theme of the week is >comment sections has AutoModerator auto-stickying a comment to remind people of the rules and to join the discord channel >the textbox for comments has a background reminding people of the rules and to be polite >the downvote button displays a message begging us to not downvote based on opinion, as if anyone actually followed that >can't take it anymore, disable CSS >try to make a post >reminded of the rules again >ask people a general question, should get a discussion going. Looks like a fairly standard thread. >AutoModerator immediately replies >"Sorry /u/Anon, your thread has been removed because it wasn't properly tagged." with more text reminding me of rule number 3b and links to their FAQ page. >Whatever, try to make the thread again with a [Discussion] tagged as suggested. >"You are doing that too much. Try again in 9 minutes" >Wait 9 minutes >Post >AutoMod again. "Hi /u/Anon and thanks for posting, however your thread has been temporarily removed because your account is either too recent or doesn't have enough karma. It has been forwarded to the moderators for review." with more text reminding me about rule 6c >Wait an hour >Get a reply from a moderator >"Sorry /u/Anon, we reviewed your thread and that question has already been asked 6 months ago. Please remember to use the search feature before posting a new thread." with more text reminding me of rule 2a >Tell the moderator that's b------- >Get banned >Message the mods about it saying that one mod was powertripping >Get muted >Decide I'll just lurk then >See the same question I asked on the front page the next day >17k upvotes, 3000 comments, gilded twice

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Resolution: (700px x 651px)

File size: 142 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon turns into a femboy after entering computer science | /r/Greentext

Anonymous help New Study Reveals Monster Energy Drink Causes Men to Turn Into 'Femboys' Fri, 03 Mar 2023 03/19/23(Sun)16:26:16 No.72628516 URINE GINSER MONSTER ENERGY ashdjs.jpg 64 KB JPG 500 mL In a shocking discovery, a recent study has revealed that consuming Monster Energy Drink can lead to a phenomenon called "estrogenization in men, causing them to turn into "femboys." According to the study, Monster Energy Drink contains a high amount of phytoestrogens, which are plant-based compounds that mimic the effects of estrogen in the body. When consumed in large quantities, these compounds can disrupt the hormonal balance in men, leading to a decrease in testosterone levels and an increase in estrogen levels. >went full femboy 2 months ago cos computer science, discord etc >suddenly cute autistic classmate i barely knew for years wnats to do things with me >i feel for her >cant stop thinking about her >also cant stop thinking about sucking cocks and other femboy stuff How do i fix myself? i dont think she is autistic enough to understand

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Anon fights back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: iptPmkK5) E > Year is 2045 > Al spiders scrape the internet find your old post history and connect all the dots > They show you are racist, hateful, sexist, p--- addict, etc. and generate reports to prove it > Everyone is scared of everything they said 15 years ago, and all is achieved We are so f-----. ChatGPT 04/12/23 (Wed)04:25:27 No.423190901 1.23 MB PNG : Anonymous (ID: EpiWJ44 04/12/23 (Wed) 04:26:46 No.423191021 >>423190901 (OP) # lol just double down >>423191325 # >>423201024 # >>423211765 # >>423215269 #

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Anon has a reunion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 69 KB PNG 04/12/23(Wed)11:56:12 No.72922168 >have a really close group of friends i met on TF2 >we play together for close to 10 years >group splits apart because life and other s--- >one of my old buddies message me years later >he's a full blown /pol/tard now >he keeps asking me if i agree on his theories about the jews >i play along, just to see where it goes >"glad to see you're still cool wanna join my new discord?" >the discord picture is hitler >say i'll join tomorrow and block him hours later when he's sleeping now im sad, he was a normal dude back in the day, sure we all had a kinda edgy sense of humor but still, what makes a guy turn into this?

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Anon needs jewish solutions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous WHEN THERE'S A LOT OF ASSIGNMENTS IN THIS WEEK 43 KB JPG 04/12/23(Wed)06:58:43 No.14882862 >be me >struggle with perfectionism and prioritisation of tasks >submit an assignment 40 minutes late last night >assignments submitted after 1 min after the deadline get marked down to a maximum of 50/100 >this assignment is worth 50% of my grade as well >email tutor >tutor says there is nothing they can do >lightbulb moment >email tutor again saying "I was interstate" >"this city has 1.5 hour time difference" >"that is why I messed up" >tutor says this sounds like a genuine reason, is happy to grade assignment normally >"as long as you can send some kind of evidence that you were interstate" >sweats What would you do in this situation? I'm thinking fake plane ticket email but just wondering if that could backfire. 6 Replies i need the most jewish of suggestions /his/ View Thread

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An anon tip is provided. | /r/Greentext

>buy Helium >around 100 balloon >gun >attach balloons filled with helium to gun >shoot yourself >let the gun fly away >no one will ever know Thank me later

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Anon shits on 4chan instead of using his military genius to conquer nations | /r/Greentext

File: 1411924096398.png (356 KB, 917x483) WHO WOULD WIN? A Stick VS 1000 US Marines Anonymous (ID: FKONWLZ) 11/23/14(Sun)23:11:03 No.581035868581036028581036107 >>581036353 >>581036760 >>581036765 >>581037395581037482581037536581038831581038852581039313 >>581039339 Tough choice Anonymous (ID: TzbEUWVz) 11/23/14(Sun)23:17:28 No.581037053581037181581037278 >>581037393 All it is is one marine to break the stick SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F--- >>581037053 # then you have two stick stick win everytime Anonymous (ID: 554) 11/23/14(Sun)23:18.12 No.581037181581037370581037481 >>581039519

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Anon loves Velma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon, I'm here | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG > be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes >it said "nice" >Idon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw

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Cheeky Oyster Anon Correction Required | /r/Greentext

Need more cheeky mobs in upcoming games gotta reeducate them all >>2966762 # smell like fish in here.jfif.jpg 167 KB JPG : Anonymous >>2966744 # I want to f--- an oyster. 03/04/23(Sat)13:37:14 No.2966762

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Anon discovers South Park | /r/Greentext

Cartman you dumbass You know nothing about Women I know enough To exploit it 113 KB JPG > Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?

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Anon gets his answer | /r/Greentext

File: 1AA163EE-370E-4567-B375-E(...).jpg (398 KB, 1920x914) The Invasion Of Taiwan Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:44:45 No.57813074 [Reply] >>57813146 Hypothetically, how would a Chinese invasion of Taiwan play out? Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:50:09 No.57813146 >>57813074 (OP) # Like me banging ur mom

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Harmless Little Prank | /r/Greentext

File: 1381193662080.jpg-(352 KB, 1750x2500, muscle-chest-adult-spiderman-costume.jpg) जै Anonymous 10/07/13 (Mon)19:54:22 UTC-5 No.509816450 >be me 18 yo college freshman >meet this awesome kid down hall, badass mohawk and s--- >his roommate is this p------------ hipster though >f----- black rimmed glasses and suede shoes and s--- >this kid is seriously why nobody will ever take the word "indie" seriously >spend whole year playing tricks on him and telling him "pranked" after seeing his reaction >innocent s--- like hiding bouncy balls in his stuff, covering his soap in glue, etc >one day hanging out in their room, decide to pull some hardcore s--- on his punk ass >decide to j------- into his shampoo, so when he showers he'll rub j--- into his hair >lock door >commence fapping > the room's at the end of the hall, so if i hear footsteps i know its him >hear him coming >ohshit.mov >commence panic fap mode >adrenaline extends my stamina, it's going to be a photo finish >hear him put his key into the door >facing away from the door, shampoo bottle in front of me, d--- in my hand >he sees me jerking it in the corner of the room >hear him yell "dude what the f--- right as I j--- >fine tuned combat instincts cause me to fling my handful of c-- right into his eyes >mfw i just spiderman'd my friend's a------ roommate >mfw when he is standing completely flabbergasted, and all I can think to say is "pranked"

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Greentext Stories - Anon is on Reddit | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous (ID: N88N2iGK) 05/06/17(Sat)22:32:10 No.170514 >be me >browsing reddit >find new subreddit >looks interesting, good amount of subscribers >immediately bombarded with colorful CSS theme >big banner telling me to subscribe >can't vote unless I'm subscribed >top sticky thread is promoting their new discord channel >second sticky thread is about whatever the current discussion theme of the week is >comment sections has AutoModerator auto-stickying a comment to remind people of the rules and to join the discord channel >the textbox for comments has a background reminding people of the rules and to be polite >the downvote button displays a message begging us to not downvote based on opinion, as if anyone actually followed that >can't take it anymore, disable CSS >try to make a post >reminded of the rules again >ask people a general question, should get a discussion going. Looks like a fairly standard thread. >AutoModerator immediately replies >"Sorry /u/Anon, your thread has been removed because it wasn't properly tagged." with more text reminding me of rule number 3b and links to their FAQ page. >Whatever, try to make the thread again with a [Discussion] tagged as suggested. >"You are doing that too much. Try again in 9 minutes" >Wait 9 minutes >Post >AutoMod again. "Hi /u/Anon and thanks for posting, however your thread has been temporarily removed because your account is either too recent or doesn't have enough karma. It has been forwarded to the moderators for review." with more text reminding me about rule 6c >Wait an hour >Get a reply from a moderator >"Sorry /u/Anon, we reviewed your thread and that question has already been asked 6 months ago. Please remember to use the search feature before posting a new thread." with more text reminding me of rule 2a >Tell the moderator that's b------- >Get banned >Message the mods about it saying that one mod was powertripping >Get muted >Decide I'll just lurk then >See the same question I asked on the front page the next day >17k upvotes, 3000 comments, gilded twice

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