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HackerMan 04/15/23(Sat)00:43:03 No.72959568 >Call a company >"Hello would you like whitehathacker LLC to attempt to hack you? We offer our services to poke holes in your network, and if we find a problem, we let you know. That way we can patch it so no big bad hackerman can break in?" 27 KB JPG >They agree >Try to "hack" their system >Sit on my ass for a week >"Your system is fully functional and we did not find any holes" >Get paid

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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The magic land 2 | /r/Greentext

File: url.jpg (12 KB, 480x360) >> Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P >>55065948 >>55066216 >>55066314 >> again... >Washing with water cleans much better than toilet paper, is more hygienic, and cools the lower chakras at the same time. In Ananda Marga water is used for this reason after passing urine as well. (all is part of our 16 points) Some people still like to use paper to dry themself. Of course afterwards you should, as with paper, wash your hands with soap. Rub the soap in the right hand (your clean hand remember :-) ), put back the soap, and clean the left hand with the right. And do you know how much forest is cut, just for toilet paper? My experience was, that after getting over my initial aversion, I feel better using water, and actually feel kind of dirty if, for any reason I can't use water to clean afterwards. >>55064554 (OP) yes. it feels much cleaner than smearing the ass with s--- using a paper Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P _ 11/05/15(Thu)07:36:28 No.55064908 » >>55065020>>55065073>>55065157 >>55065263>>55065328>55065393 >>55065563 >>55066216 >>55066360 seriously india... you guys wipe your ass full of s--- with your hand? Anonymous (ID: wmyGpZAO) 11/05/15(Thu)07:24:03 No.55064554 >>55064768 >>55065100 >>55065577 >>55065710 >>55066483 >>55064824 water cleans out it duh. you cant use water and paper. hand and water(plenty...like 5 liters) is the best combo. besides after pooing we wash our hands with disinfectant too. so its clean and safe http://indiatour.dadaksa.com/etiquette.htm >As mentioned in most of Asia the left hand is used to wipe your bottom. After passing stool, while pouring water from behind with the right hand, you clean the area with the middle finger of the left hand. Just keep pouring water and using your fingers till it's clean. For most people from the west this is really difficult to do, but the sooner you get used to it the better. And one complex less. Beside toilet paper is often not available, the diameter of the toilet pipes is less and there is often no flush system. So even if you can get it, toilet paper tends to clog the drain quite easily, and then your host has to somehow open it Anonymous (ID: Jeqr79KK 11/05/15(Thu)07:39:58 No.55065020 >>55065124 >>55064908 Stop the lies Pajeet, the water you're using is so full of bacteria it doesn't matter if you use 51 or 1001, you're basically washing s--- off with water full of s---. 11/05/15(Thu)07:31:55 No.55064768 » »55064824>>55064872>>55064886 >>55064926 >>55065237>>55065779 As for disinfectant - don't even try that with me, you curry munchers can't afford enough for how many turds you drop, if you could you would just buy TP. This post has gotten my guts in a huff so I'm gonna go poo in the loo. >>55064969 Anonymous (ID: NydObH5r làm 11/05/15(Thu)07:40:49 No.55065050 » >>55065160>>55065485 >tfw Indians aren't smart enough to just use baby wipes if they want to feel the cool sensation of water whenever they take a s---. >> Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P , 11/05/15(Thu)07:40:55 No.55065051 - >55065140 >>55065269 >>55066216 honestly i dont see the west's obsession with s---. after all its just what you ate yesterday. clean it and wash it. should be plenty fine Anonymous (ID: THmwVDM3 >>55064908 >have to waste 5 liters and use disinfectant >somehow this is superior to a bit of paper >"Boss level" immune systems >Eats s--- all day Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P 11/05/15(Thu)07:44:16 No.55065160 >>55065320 >>55066216 Dont be afraid of toilet witches 11/05/15(Thu)07:44:14 No.55065157 >>55065050 >tfw americans dont know how to do something without spending 100$ and ruining the environment Anonymous (ID: IXHXzrPI la | 11/05/15(Thu)07:45:09 No.55065179 >>55065124 >Perfectly functioning immune system >Doesn't eat s--- all day Pick one baheer my son That's f------ disgusting Anonymous (ID: DEu2gf40) 11/05/15(Thu)07:48:16 No.55065269 >>55065303 >>55065352 >>55065323 >>55065051 Dude. It's s---. You can't just s--- in the streets, on the beach, in the river, wherever, wipe it off with your bare f------ hand, and be like "Oh it's just yesterday's food" I shouldn't have to be explaining this to you. HUMAN FECES IS NOT HYGIENIC. There are literally children dying in India RIGHT F------ NOW because you LITERALLY can't get your s--- together. Look at this image. 1000 children are dying a day because they're getting sick from all the literal s--- laying around all over India. Look at this. Look at it: http://unicef.in/Whatwedo/11/Eliminate-Open-Defecation It's so f------ bad that Unicef has started a campaign to collectively potty train your nation. This is real. It's not a joke. Millions of real dollars are being poured into your country to get you to s--- in a f------ toilet. >>55065157 cleaner = superior. You should feel nothing but shame. But instead you're just like "Hey guys what's the big deal s--- is just one-day-old delicious curry!" baka desu senpai Anonymous (ID: ZgsZW5gW) 11/05/15(Thu)07:50:08 No.55065320 >>55065500 File: Indians.png (502 KB, 485x723) >>55065160 >>tfw americans dont know how to do something without spending 100$ and ruining the environment Have you looked at your environment? Anonymous (ID: OSY9|z+P _ 11/05/15(Thu)07:50:12 No.55065323 >>55065477 >>55065562>>55066216 I dont have crusty poop stuck to the rim of hole. Honestly at this point, i wouldnt switch for anything else. Also dont be afraid of the poo witches. Its okay to touch tiny poop bits with your hand. The world wont explode Anonymous (ID: hL6FvIMw) 11/05/15(Thu)07:54:45 No.55065477 ► >>55065555 >>55065572 >>55065323 You don't get anything left behind if you use toilet paper?? I don't see what's hard to understand here. It's a lot better than smearing s--- all over your ass and your hands. Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P) 11/05/15(Thu)07:57:53 No.55065572 >>55065625 >>55066216 >>55065477 According to you using water and hands is mearing s---. according to me wiping ass with a paper is smearing s---. And i dont understand how using water, to you is more smearing s--- than using a paper to repeatedly swiping at stuck poop >> Anonymous (ID: DEu2gf40) 11/05/15(Thu)08:03:21 No.55065745 ► >>55065854 File: r-DEFECATE-huge.jpg (148 KB, 900x346) >>55065635 HURR DURR WIPING YOUR ASS IS SO COMPLICATED Also you keep talking about all this water you use to clean your ass with, yet the problem is with people s------- out in the open. Where are they getting the water from? Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P 11/05/15(Thu)08:06:30 No.55065854 >>55065893 >>55066216 >>55065745 they take a 2 liter bottle of water with them out Anonymous (ID: HOLEX7XL 11/05/15(Thu)08:04:03 No.55065779 » >55065901 >>55064768 You have pieces of s--- under your finger nails - think of that you filty 3ld worlder Anonymous (ID: OSY9Iz+P) 11/05/15(Thu)08:07:59 No.55065901 ► >>55065926 >>55065927 >>55065978 >>55066075 >>55066216 >>55065779 did you forget the part about cleaning with a sanitiser? also we dont scratch the hole with the fingers, its the palm side we use. Also we eat with only with right hand. left hand for ass wiping. 3 levels of safety is built in >> Anonymous (ID: v85QTkhl) 11/05/15(Thu)08:08:52 No.55065927 ► >>55066054 File: 471.jpg (55 KB, 680x598) >>55065901 >Designated s------- hand

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Lasagna-versary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 07/07/22(Thu)19:34:54 No.69328869 what was your last birthday like anons? >turning 20, studying abroad so no family party >none of my friends remembered, despite mentioning it a couple times over the past month >ah well, such is life >a couple days later get a letter >inside is a garfield birthday card, handwritten by my parents >best present i ever got

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Anon doesn't remind anybody of anyone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:14:33 No.90234969 >>90235149 >>90236275 >>90236962 File: tumblr_lq86s0gGsE1gl1mqeo(...).jpg (481 KB, 1280x960) Guess what I'm going to do tonight, /co/... Tanesque Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:58:45 No.90236962 File: 1486857967496.jpg (99 KB, 970x990) >>90234969 >Reverse image search >0 results found NOVEMBER 19

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 21 KB JPG 04/14/23(Fri)15:25:35 No.28752621 >basically live with him despite having my own place >sleep in his bed with him every night >cuddle regularly >literally hate being apart, bored when around other people including my own gf am i gay now >have male best friend >super emotionally vulnerable with each other

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Anon breaks the matrix | /r/Greentext

11/08/21(Mon)01:16:58 No.866297310 So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behavior. For example, if you eat it is likely that you will swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would have to shut down. : Anonymous 41 KB JPG So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that becuase that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise).

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anon wonders if it's too much to ask | /r/Greentext

File: despair.png (204 KB, 428x399) is it too much to ask Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)03:08:30 No.897566614 ► >>897566867 >>897566944 >is it really too much to ask for a loving girlfriend >is it really too much to ask for a girl who will support me, as will i, her >is it really too much to ask for a girl who will listen to me and my problems >is it really too much to ask for a girl who genuinely cares >is it really too much to ask for a girl who is loyal >is it really too much to ask for a girl who loves me for who i am and i dont have to put a fake persona on with, someone i can truly be real with >> Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)03:16:01 No.897566867 ► >>897566614 (OP) What do you bring to the table? Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)03:18:19 No.897566944 ► >>897566614 (OP) yea dude. it's too much to ask when you're a f------ sperg loser. Instead of begging for women to love you how about you become something worth loving.

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anon tries to make a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/23(Sat)01:03:41 No.72953338 9438985.png 15 KB PNG >took my cellphone number >changed the last number (like 7 to 6 or 8) >sent a text >"hello number neighbor!" >no reply At least I tried to make frens, what's your excuse?

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anon wants the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Na >pour hot water >close the lid >wait 5 minutes >the noodles are ready to eat Do you really believe this s---? SP 741 04/14/23(Fri)23:57:10 No.72952706 00:21 Do you really believe this s---? >>72953040 # doureallybelieve.jpg 160 KB JPG : Anonymous >>72952706 (OP) # >Do you really believe this s---? I don't habeeb it 04/15/23(Sat)00:00:16 No.72952729 : Anonymous >>72952706 (OP) # I don't know only incels buy cup noodles incel 04/15/23(Sat)00:30:36 No.72953027 04/15/23(Sat)00:31:47 No.72953040 04/15/23(Sat)00:32:37 No.72953049 : Anonymous : Anonymous >>72952706 (OP) # What happens to the girl inside when I finish it?

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anon has nothing to look forward to anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 238 KB JPG >got a gf >got sex 04/14/23(Fri)22:59:25 No.72952161 : Anonymous What now? What is there in life to look forward to? : Anonymous >>72952161 (OP) # Nothing, you now realize that it was the longing for something that made it special, once you have it it loses its spark, it just becomes stale and you need to find something new to want 04/14/23(Fri)23:12:32 No.72952268 04/14/23(Fri)23:02:43 No.72952180 : Anonymous >>72952161 (OP) # I don't know. I was pretty content when I had a gf and got sex. Didn't want anything else. 04/14/23(Fri)23:30:38 No.72952444 McDonald's McCrucifixion.jpg 90 KB JPG > What now? What is there in life to look forward to? Bills. Q

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Anon describes the life of a wagie | /r/Greentext

File: reallife.jpg (25 KB, 450x512) wagie stories thread Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)13:40:25 No.72952244 [Reply] post your wagie greentexts >be me 1 year ago >be security guard >crackheads always shoplifting >manager notices i am not doing my job >start doing my job >crackheads wait outside for me after work >stabbed to death shelf stacker job interview on monday i hope i get it bros

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Anon tries to meet a woman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/14/23(Fri)16:22:01 No.897594888 >be on my city's subreddit >start bantering with a las in comments >get in DMs and ask to meetup and explore the city together >it's a date >5 minutes later >"never mind a------ bigot get a life" >aw s---! remember that I was recently deep in trains rabbithole, saying things like "men should not be allowed to punch women in wrestling sports", "d--- and balls means it is a male", "men in lingerie should not touch kids" 20 KB JPG >mfw I'm a trains-phobe >mfw I forgot to use my alt account to talk to women anyone else have multiple personalities on the internet with one based on what women and hollywood like?

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Anon spends his hard earned crypto | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zWs2C0mw) 04/14/23(Fri)15:51:16 No.54595005 >be me >general manager of a $10 million a year Publix location >sitting at my desk >"MANAGER TO THE REGISTERS PLEASE" >walk downstairs to the register 8 >20 year old hot cashier looks uncomfortable >customer on the other side is waiting too >he's about 335 ponds >my little pony shirt with holes in it >goodwill secondhand jeans also dirty >guy smells like moldy Muenster cheese >cashier says "hey Jeff his debit card is not working and says it should” >look in the bags >chips, cheap beer, takis, world of Warcraft subscription card >no soap, no deordorant, no tshirt of local beach nearby >what's going on with your card, sir? >WHY ARENT YOU ACCEPTING THIS CARD! WHY WONT YOU TAKE MY MONEY! >is it a visa, Mastercard or American Express? >NO ITS A CRYPTO DEBIT CARD I HAVE .0178 BTC ON IT MORE THAN ENOUGH TO BUY THIS STUFF! >sir we only take real money here >THIS IS REAL MONEY! I AM GOING TO CALL CORPORATE >other customers look uncomfortable >sir you have 5 minutes to leave or I'm calling the police >THIS IS RACISM WHY ARENT YOU TAKING MY MONEY! ITS REAL MONEY! >again Sir, 5 minutes or I am calling the police >starts crying and waddles out of the store >>54595035 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon Is A Hacker | /r/Greentext

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HackerMan 04/15/23(Sat)00:43:03 No.72959568 >Call a company >"Hello would you like whitehathacker LLC to attempt to hack you? We offer our services to poke holes in your network, and if we find a problem, we let you know. That way we can patch it so no big bad hackerman can break in?" 27 KB JPG >They agree >Try to "hack" their system >Sit on my ass for a week >"Your system is fully functional and we did not find any holes" >Get paid

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