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Greentext Stories

72 Views • Created about a year ago By Reddit Moments • Updated about a year ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated about a year ago

Anon recounts a dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous The best time of your life gre(...) 05/04/23(Thu)17:37:08 No.898682093 10 KB JPG >be me >be super skillz computer terrorizt hackerman. >work at pizza planet. >radio in kitchen >"*WIN TICKETS TO SEE SOME F----- OYLMPIC ICESCATOR SPIN AND TWIRLL AROUND LIKE SOME F----- WHILE HEART PLAYS MUSIC*" >want to see scantily clad rocker chicks. >maybe rockgod waifu Joan Jett will show up who knows. >"*TEXT 'F----- ICESKATER' TO 555-3825*" >text 'f----- icescator' to number. >500 times >I win the tickets >go to concert >winter so coat >have Zeppelin Zoso patches on coat >mfw the entire section of rinkside seats is empty. >mfw I won all the tickets in the contest and they didn't have time to run another contest. >my winter coat is covered in Zeppelin Zoso patches and I'm obviously not hear for f----- icescathor. >ignore f----- icescater flips abd faggotry and headbang to cougar rocker chicks. >go backstage and f--- rocker chicks. >blow my load down Joan Jett's throat. >c-- twice in both Heart chick's p------. >I am a pizza planet God. >banned from that channel4's and their affiliated radio statiom's contests.
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    Anonymous 06/21/24(Fri)05:13:09 No.680377434 fallout-4-header-credit-bethesda-3588x2018-407b681f211e.jpg 1.41 MB JPG >able to build power sources and lights that last for 200+ years with no maintenance >unable to build new houses without gaps in the walls/roofs >unable to make a bed without big stains on it >everything new create from metal is pre-rusted the "humans" in the fallout universe feel more like retarded aliens than actual people
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    /11\ 77] TE Anonymous 06/26/24(Wed)02:19:18 No.77957361 ► >be vidya attic >love games that give me new ways of dismembering humans and destroying environments >be chad >dont play videogames cuz im not 12 >love capeshit movies like deadpool and boyz where f------ get anihilated >be tender female >don't like gory violence yuck >love movies like 2012 and DEEP impact tho cuz wow so crazy guys it's almost like ppl like watching ppl die
    /11\ 77] TE Anonymous 06/26/24(Wed)02:19:18 No.77957361 ► >be vidya attic >love games that give me new ways of dismembering humans and destroying environments >be chad >dont play videogames cuz im not 12 >love capeshit movies like deadpool and boyz where f------ get anihilated >be tender female >don't like gory violence yuck >love movies like 2012 and DEEP impact tho cuz wow so crazy guys it's almost like ppl like watching ppl die
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    Anonymous (ID: 2xRqgabD) 08/29/23(Tue)03:59:10 No.439602796 >be me >0 success with women >be kind of a shy beta >decide to improve >start working out 24 KB JPG >get a better job >improve social skills >engage in hobbies >dress better >better hygiene >become more confident And now, 2 years into this self-improvement and conditioning to become a better man than I was before I can happily report to you that I still have 0 success. >>439602883 # >>439602957 # >>439603096 # >>439603199 # >>439603350 # >>439603386 # >>439603844 # >>439604142 # >>439604191 #
    Anonymous (ID: 2xRqgabD) 08/29/23(Tue)03:59:10 No.439602796 >be me >0 success with women >be kind of a shy beta >decide to improve >start working out 24 KB JPG >get a better job >improve social skills >engage in hobbies >dress better >better hygiene >become more confident And now, 2 years into this self-improvement and conditioning to become a better man than I was before I can happily report to you that I still have 0 success. >>439602883 # >>439602957 # >>439603096 # >>439603199 # >>439603350 # >>439603386 # >>439603844 # >>439604142 # >>439604191 #
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    2d (06/23/24 13:16) 27435270 >>27435218 I'm neither you, nor some other schmuck. I can get p---- and enjoy the freedom of speech 4chan allows me. Tried reddit, but I'm banned from just about everywhere so ... hello 4chan.
    2d (06/23/24 13:16) 27435270 >>27435218 I'm neither you, nor some other schmuck. I can get p---- and enjoy the freedom of speech 4chan allows me. Tried reddit, but I'm banned from just about everywhere so ... hello 4chan.
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    File: 1692896373357758.jpg (93 KB, 1417x797) Anonymous 06/24/24(Mon)22:44:16 No.200456128 ► >>200456153 >>200456307 >>200456977 >>200458529 >>200458820 Did Gandalf have a job or did he rely on the kindness of others for food and water and shelter for his entire existence?
    File: 1692896373357758.jpg (93 KB, 1417x797) Anonymous 06/24/24(Mon)22:44:16 No.200456128 ► >>200456153 >>200456307 >>200456977 >>200458529 >>200458820 Did Gandalf have a job or did he rely on the kindness of others for food and water and shelter for his entire existence?
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    am i gay??? #1, No. 77954038 4 hours ago IMG_8791 JPG 150x150 3.9 KB >be me, 19yo collegefag >straight as an arrow, been dating the same girl since 7th grade >legitimately truly never ever been attracted to or aroused by men >be in computer lab at college, studying for exam >guy comes in and sits across from me, also studying >glance at him >literally the most beautiful person i've ever seen >not sexy, not cute, BEAUTIFUL >petite, east asian frame, wavy hair down to his shoulders >clear skin, glowing, just the slightest bit tanned >immaculately groomed and dressed >undeniably male but just graceful and delicate >i'm literally struck dumb >nod hi to him and he says hi back >his voice is like f------ honey >again, undeniably male, but jesus christ >even his f------ hands are attractive, long fingers and smooth arms >can't get any studying done for the life of me (obviously) >haven't been able to meet my girlfriend's eyes since >failed my exam too >can't stop thinking about him i know this sounds like a psyop, post the f------ cat picture if you want, make jokes about robots being secretly gay, whatever. i'm actually freaking the f--- out. am i gay? do i look for him? it's a smallish college so i'd probably be able to find him. 15 replies
    am i gay??? #1, No. 77954038 4 hours ago IMG_8791 JPG 150x150 3.9 KB >be me, 19yo collegefag >straight as an arrow, been dating the same girl since 7th grade >legitimately truly never ever been attracted to or aroused by men >be in computer lab at college, studying for exam >guy comes in and sits across from me, also studying >glance at him >literally the most beautiful person i've ever seen >not sexy, not cute, BEAUTIFUL >petite, east asian frame, wavy hair down to his shoulders >clear skin, glowing, just the slightest bit tanned >immaculately groomed and dressed >undeniably male but just graceful and delicate >i'm literally struck dumb >nod hi to him and he says hi back >his voice is like f------ honey >again, undeniably male, but jesus christ >even his f------ hands are attractive, long fingers and smooth arms >can't get any studying done for the life of me (obviously) >haven't been able to meet my girlfriend's eyes since >failed my exam too >can't stop thinking about him i know this sounds like a psyop, post the f------ cat picture if you want, make jokes about robots being secretly gay, whatever. i'm actually freaking the f--- out. am i gay? do i look for him? it's a smallish college so i'd probably be able to find him. 15 replies
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    Anonymous 26 KB PNG 08/22/23(Tue)21:19:00 No.189055363 >the AT fields are standard sci-fi force fields >actually the AT fields are some kind of metaphor for isolation >actually the AT fields are some kind of universal force that keeps humans bodies from turning into liquid >>189055553 # >>189055554 # >>189056176 #
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    : Anonymous 139 KB PNG 09/17/22(Sat)03:37:36 No.70243683 >someone stole my sandwich for one week straight >ask HR for camera recording >it's Ahmed the Islam enjoyer >trap card: activated >make the pork as tendie as possible so it feels like chicken (40gr) >spread bacon grease on the both bread slice (7g) >2 drops of white wine alcohol >feed him for 8 months, he even brags about some infidels always prepare lunch for him so far he has consumed 7.680 kg (16.93 lbs) pork, 1.344 kg (2.96 lbs) of bacon grease and 1/9 of vinegar bottle. any Islamic scholars here know how deep in hell he is now? : Anonymous 09/17/22(Sat)03:46:07 No.70243717 >Feeds a thief so the spirit world will take vengeance on him as a ghost You really showed that guy. 70 KB JPG
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    File: funny frog meme.png (217 KB, 399x385) Anonymous (ID: Km+0lHfD | 06/25/24(Tue)15:36:16 No.472180205 I just had the funniest realization ever >pre-Obama >conservative Christians try to get gays to like p---- and lesbians to like d--- >progressives: W-- YOU BIGOTS THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY >post Obama >progressives try to force gays to like p---- (transmen) and lesbians to like d---- (transwomen) >progressives: YOU WILL SUCK THE LADY D--- YOU TERF BITCH OR YOU'LL BE CANCELLED! Horse shoe theory is f------ hilarious.
    File: funny frog meme.png (217 KB, 399x385) Anonymous (ID: Km+0lHfD | 06/25/24(Tue)15:36:16 No.472180205 I just had the funniest realization ever >pre-Obama >conservative Christians try to get gays to like p---- and lesbians to like d--- >progressives: W-- YOU BIGOTS THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY >post Obama >progressives try to force gays to like p---- (transmen) and lesbians to like d---- (transwomen) >progressives: YOU WILL SUCK THE LADY D--- YOU TERF BITCH OR YOU'LL BE CANCELLED! Horse shoe theory is f------ hilarious.
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