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52 KB JPG >be me in 4th grade >Last day of school so desks are all put away >Kid laying on ground >Friend jokes that I should stand over him and fart >I go over, stand over him, and I shart, like a lot, and I'm wearing shorts >S--- runs down my leg and drips into his face and some gets in his mouth >He screams and goes home early >Ffw to a few years back, high school >I've come out as gay >See the kid who's mouth I shat in years prior, start talking to him and laughing about our s----- childhood >He forgives me.. turns out he's gay too >We end up going out on a few dates >One night really horny, gonna lose my v card to his hole >Get to his room, he drops his pants >Grabs a--- lube, asks me to ram his ass.. gently >Go in and come back out and he starts projectile s------- all over my c--- and balls >It gets all over my stomach and chest, splashes onto my face and lands into my mouth >He laughs at me and yells "payback f'ggot!" >I am so overwhelmed I just laugh and start throwing his half liquid s--- back at him like an ape fight >Fast forward to today and I'm once again single, haven't had too many s----- incidents since This is what life is all about

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon Conquers Racism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous my gluttony is stopping my rac(...) 06/04/23(Sun)07:02:35 No.73555216 94 KB GIF >be me >/pol/ chud >hates any non whites, n------, jeets, SEAmonkeys, chinks, sandniggers...... >wished for them to vanish from earth >work buddy introduced me to a chink restaurant to eat some dim sum >Sure, whatever, I am not an autist that shows my power level outside >H-------- >Chink food is actually good >much better than the s--- I eat everyday >Work buddies gradually brought me to different ethnic restaurants >somehow, different cultures have extremely unique food with different characteristics that suprised me everytime >Loving it every time >Diet slowly getting replaced by foods from other culture >started learning to cook these foods as well >can't really hate any race anymore since all of them have good food that I f------ love >tfw being a glutton made me unable to be a racist

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The Frontier is here | /r/Greentext

Avt LISTED ENERGY Fear mam Entegre MOD AMD FRONTIER Exascale Computing >For years, this level of computing capability was a far-off dream. Now, it is here: AMD powers the world's first official exascale supercomputer, Frontier >AMD collaborated with the U.S. Department of Energy, Oak Ridge National Laboratory, and HPE to design the Frontier supercomputer. Featuring 3rd Gen AMD EPYC™ processors and AMD Instinct™ MI250 accelerators, Frontier is now the first supercomputer to officially cross the exascale barrier with 1.1 exaflops of performance. Frontier also features a theoretical peak performance of 2 exaflops. Its officially gg this amount of computing power is enough to pretty much do anything at this point we're talking full real-time simulations of everything going on in the world combined with real time analysis its gg

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Anon screws up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20 KB JPG 10/17/20(Sat)15:37:32 No.838054717 >be me at 15 >share pc with family >dad screams at me >beats me up because I "installed a virus on the pc" >the neighbors call the police because they saw me getting his s--- kicked out >look at pc >it's the windows 10 update

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Anon gets stood up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous "You'll meet her when you leas(...) 366 KB JPG 06/17/23(Sat)09:03:08 No.29158684 Anons, did you really meet your girlfriend, your eventual wife or even a friends with benefits when you least expected to? This whole idea of meeting your girl out of the blue sounds like complete b-------. I'm sure not the only Anon here who's been living his life: >hitting bars and clubs with friends or solo >going to college >hitting the gym >go for walks or play guitar at parks, nature reserves instead >join book clubs >use dating apps too: Hinge, Tinder and Bumble >hit the library, etc Yet I haven't meet a single girl who really likes me: Whenever I get a girl's snapchat or her number in real life or via a dating app, chat with her for a few days then ask her out: >I get ghosted or >stood up on the date night It f------ sucks, Jesus Christ... Yet everyone keeps saying: >You need to be patient, you'll meet her when you least expect it. Yeah right, f------ kek! Man, women are so f------ lucky that they don't need to take initiative, go through rejection, dust themselves off and pick themselves up again and again and again, Imfao.

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Femanon asks why | /r/Greentext

/fit/ - Fitness Anonymous Board 58 KB JPG ▼ Settings Mobile Home 06/16/23(Fri)21:29:23 No.71296002 >date guy for 3 months >mention something went wrong at work with my boss and I was venting to bf about it >he just says "well that's why you shouldn't have done that in the first place" >I tell him that's victim blaming >he says "It's hard not to cause you're always a f------ victim it's annoying" >tell him then maybe we shouldn't date if he's going to talk to me that way >m----------- says "k guess we're done then" >I see him on tinder not even a day later Why are men like this

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Anon is vegetarian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/19(Sun)23:32:38 No.52680592 Anonymous 54646456466.png 107 KB PNG Why yes, I'm a vegetarian, how did you know? 10/06/19(Sun)23:34:22 No.52680603 because you are posting pictures of other men online >>52680607 # >>52680628 # >>52680635 # >>52680636 #

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Anon is oblivious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>71298126 (OP) # >talking to stacy coworker >she is always incredibly blunt with random questions >"so what's your favorite thing about sex anon?" 06/16/23(Fri)22:03:17 No.71299782 >im caught off guard but tell her the eye contact >she starts giggling and tells me how she hadn't heard that before >mfw im a virgin i need p----. i'm going to download dating apps but have no pictures besides selfies yet >>71299791 # >>71299807 # >>71299867 # >>71299937 # : Anonymous >>71299782 # are you retarded? stacy literally wants you d--- >>71299893 # 06/16/23(Fri)22:03:53 No.71299791

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anon asks for movie recommendations featuring biblically accurate angels | /r/Greentext

IMG_2131.png KB, 500X450) google yandex iqab Walt saucehao Anonymous 06/17/23(Sat)17:39:03 No.186443481 [9] [Reply] ✓ >>18644361 Movies or shows with biblically accurate angels? Anonymous 06/17/23(Sat)17:45:45 No.186443616 ✓ 322px-Soyak.png (11 KB, 322x400) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao (21) Anonymous 06/17/23(Sat)17:47:36 No.186443663 ✓ Reddit.jpg (38 KB, 396x410) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao >biblically accurate angels >>186443481 (OP). >biblically accurate angels

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OP has the dumb? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous am I the dumb 06/15/23(Thu)16:30:20 No.900986378 OUTLET RETARD CHAMBER MODEL F211 900175PS! LISTED OSTA get back in there. FB_IMG_1686042837175.jpg 91 KB JPG >be me >be in coffee shop on a college campus >"I'll have a small hot late and a cup of ice" >"Oh you want an small iced latte?" >"No. I want a small hot late and a cup of ice." >"Why don't you just order an iced latte?" >"Does a cup of ice cost extra?" >"No." >"How much ice is in your iced latte?" >"Half a cup. Why?" >me, not trying to argue with what I hope isn't a med student >look behind me, no line, I have time >"If you fill half the cup with ice, I'm losing 30 to 50% of my coffee drink to ice. If it costs the same hot or iced, I get more drink my way." >"I don't understand. Why don't you just order the iced latte." >"I'm well aware. Please, I'll order a hot latte and a cup of ice. Please." >"Lemme make sure I've got this right- hot latte, cup of ice?" >"Now you're getting it." >"Oooookaaaaaay." rolls her eyes >"Order for OP?" >I walk up, grab the latte, look her in the eye, and pour it into the ice. The ice cup is full and I still have 40% of a cup of latte. She looks at me like I'm a f------ magician.

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Autistic Albanian Anon wants tendie money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Please be patient I have autism 23 KB JPG autist 09/21/22(Wed)03:00:28 No.885965533 >Rockstar gets hacked >GTA 6 is leaked >The perpetrator is identified by the BBC as an autist >Who still lives with his mom and dad >Attends a special ed school >He's Albanian >Literally got hacked by a an Albanian Alright, which one of you was it?

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The hope in mankind is lost for Anon........ | /r/Greentext

Hey f--- heres a greentext threat about Irony >be me >have female friend who likes shitpost as much as I do >notificationtojoinashitpostgroupfromher.exe 15 KB JPG >Flat Earth etc... >seems like a decent shitpost group >everyone has a top tier shitposting/Irony humor >"NASA uses Eyefish lence" >Laugh at funny ironical memes and s--- they write >my friend likes NASA and space bs >see a post where she is arguing w/ some random guy >Find out the FB group is not a shitpost group >Mfw I've been in this group for at least 2 months >Mfw I thought their posts were memes >Mfw these people actually think Earth is flat >Mfw top excuse is "NASA uses eyefish lence"

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Anon would want to go. | /r/Greentext

>Wanna say "Let's go" and "okay" >Said "Let's gay" >Got weird looks

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Greentext Stories - Anons shitty experience | /r/Greentext

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52 KB JPG >be me in 4th grade >Last day of school so desks are all put away >Kid laying on ground >Friend jokes that I should stand over him and fart >I go over, stand over him, and I shart, like a lot, and I'm wearing shorts >S--- runs down my leg and drips into his face and some gets in his mouth >He screams and goes home early >Ffw to a few years back, high school >I've come out as gay >See the kid who's mouth I shat in years prior, start talking to him and laughing about our s----- childhood >He forgives me.. turns out he's gay too >We end up going out on a few dates >One night really horny, gonna lose my v card to his hole >Get to his room, he drops his pants >Grabs a--- lube, asks me to ram his ass.. gently >Go in and come back out and he starts projectile s------- all over my c--- and balls >It gets all over my stomach and chest, splashes onto my face and lands into my mouth >He laughs at me and yells "payback f'ggot!" >I am so overwhelmed I just laugh and start throwing his half liquid s--- back at him like an ape fight >Fast forward to today and I'm once again single, haven't had too many s----- incidents since This is what life is all about

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