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Anonymous 06/24/23(Sat)22:08:09 No.641833806 - 1643601172368.jpg ✩ (18 KB, 253x253) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao >>641831842 >do nothing but surf 4chan during quarantine >gf is annoying me >say "dilate t-----" to her before I can stop myself This place does things to you

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous 51 KB JPG 07/13/24(Sat) 19:01:05 No.78144878 >Try to shoot the former President >Miss >Trump supporters are p----- that you shot at him >Safe-edgy shitlibs are p----- that you missed him >Basically everyone regardless of political affiliation is clowning on you What a f------ retard

Anonymous The millitary has made me more(...) WOJAK US ARMY 9 KB JPG 05/12/25(Mon) 18:43:07 No.81148037 >Join army to pay for college and to get out of s----- circumstances >Most of the other guys there are also to get to college >Some of us out of desperation for better circumstances >See a bunch of f------ with silver spoons in their mouths treat us like we're a bunch of hardened killers >Said f------ think they're better than us because they have an education >These f------ also don't know, the vast majority of millitary members won't see combat as most jobs aren't combat related >To these idiots a cook is the same as an infantryman >I've been called a baby killer despite never deploying throughout my career or killing anyone >My job is literally a vehicle technician >Women avoid me thinking I'm a domestic abuser in the making >Retard civilians will say I'm more of a terrorist than the men I kill >They cannot comprehend that the military is not killing people for most of soldiers >I'm literally hated by half the country for just trying to have a better life >And these leftist f------ wonder why they can't win an election? >Not a Republican f--, but they've made me feel infinitely more welcomed than lefties >A Southern man saying "Good job son" and covering my lunch is one of the best things ever >Jesus Christ, joining the military really shows you how two faced most people are 58 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

: Anonymous 74 KB JPG 05/12/25(Mon)21:04:47 No.934436283 >be me a week ago >go to sleep >dream starts >I'm having a conversation with Yukio Mishima >I mention the fact that the japanese have trouble pronouncing certain english. words >he jumps from his seat and tries to kill me >wake up What does this mean?

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Anon is still waiting for some black macarons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous NGAT >wake up >no black gf day ruined 05/13/23(Sat)12:43:10 No.73299631 eicDmKl.jpg 195 KB JPG

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Anon is a Chad look-alike | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)09:16:35 No.43709546 >be me >chad look-alike >basically just have good looks and give good first impression, but still feel like 4chan is my people >get sick of people treating my autist friends like s--- MEMINT 1002 KB PNG >start telling stacies who s--- on autists that they have to f--- my friends before they can f--- me >mostly get called a freak but it's still fun for the s---- and giggles >mfw one of the girls actually says ok and actually does it >end up being too disgusted with her to have sex with her >she keeps having sex with friends anyway >mfw am chad robin hood

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Anon’s success story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Personal success story 04/03/23 (Mon)04:03:56 No.896953941 >Be me >unattractive + short manlet throughout childhood and beginning of highschool >very insecure about looks and little to no success with women >covid hits and school closes >grow 6 inches in 5 months during quarantine(now 6"), fix hair cut, fix style >actually somewhat conventionally attractive now >covid starts to die down and quarantines are lifted >go to a bonfire with some loose acquaintances from school and my best friend >all sitting around the fire and my friend mentions that I got tall over quarantine >immediately all the girls ask me to stand up so they can see for themselves 72 KB JPG >oblige >I s--- you not the first words that were said were "oh my god, you're like, a person now" >the girl immediately apologizes for the wording and clarifies she didn't mean it like that >too late >turn evil >now my freshman year of college >commence villainy >download dating apps for hookups >meet up with random girl and do the thing >immediately after I tell her "I think I might be gay" >watch the life drain out of her >done this three times now and I think I'm starting to heal my inner child

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In a parallel universe… | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 1bnDb6NZ 780 B PNG ASEM N Russian MoD ismetike if they tak Wagner offensive would be mat 06/24/23(Sat)04:59:16 No.431828953 >try to invade country >fail so badly that you send in a : Anonymous (ID: UxwyyWqt >>431830623 # mercenary group >mercenary group invades your country this is just getting sad 06/24/23(Sat)05:07:57 No.431830126 >>431828953 (OP) # >day 486 of Americas Special Military stance from Rsian troops Majoney of Russian soldiers will lay down the arts & join the Wagner PMC before they shoot a Wagne Rusman Mod will never understand The cultural link between Wagners and Operation in Mexico Mobiks 276 KB JPG >Guy Fieri and his paramilitary troops are on their way to Washington, DC to take over the United States government

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Anon is pursuing his passion. | /r/Greentext

82 KB JPG >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

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Anon has thoughts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/20/23(Tue)21:48:05 No.73745024 Sometimes something really minor makes me angry and the only thing thing that calms me down is physically closing my eyes and imagining myself beating the person that annoyed me to death with a blunt object or hacking them to death with a machete. Is this normal? The visions are very detailed and sometimes they are more violent. 253 KB JPG

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Anon is a personality hire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/23(Sun)18:33:31 No.627520490 >gf posts a funny video of our relationship on TikTok without telling me 52 KB PNG >10 million views >top comment says I look like a fat Mr Beast, someone replies Mr. Feast >other comments say I must be a personality hire Never exposing myself to the open internet ever again. >>627520553 # >>627521747 # >>627521853 # >>627522958 #

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Anon boards a swedish cruise | /r/Greentext

VIKING LINE 9 poop Anonymous 11/19/15(Thu)19:54:31 No.50979876 >>50979912 >>50980293 >>50980300 >>50980498 >panic > try to flush again but s--- doesn't flush >look for a cleaner lady in the hallway >Swedish is really bad so grab the hand of cleaner, and take her to the bathroom >try to flush and say "titta" (watch in english) while push flush button >s--- goes quite normally away to sewer TITTA. >>50980864 >>50981200 >>50981434 >>50981682 >>50984801 >Be at Swedish ship cruise >haven't defecated in a week week >s--- at least three giant python in the toilet >try to flush >not working.jpg 000] SLOSH

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Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/24/23(Sat)12:46:08 No. 110588456 File: gunsmith_cats.jpg (29 KB, 270x363) I just realized >if you visit any of the boards on this site >and open any of the threads on that board >there will be at least ONE(1) Anon itt >who is attracted to brown anime women let that sink in

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Anon makes a historical discovery | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a responsible father | /r/Greentext

most of you have weak mindsets i accidently got into a coke bender Anonymous 06/24/23(Sat)03:59:23 No.29201641 [Reply]► >>29201656 >>29203240 >>29203314 >tell wife i finish me drink and will come to bed >reminded i still have coke in my wallet >take lines between shots of vodka >only 2 hours before kids wake up guys, my wife know that i kinda do that stuff once every month when im out with friends but never at home. i did so much coke and am full off energie. the sun is almost coming up and i have to go upstairs not to and hope she does not get angry. what do i do?? ☐ Anonymous 06/24/23(Sat)04:01:56 No.29201656 ► >>29201700 >>29201641 (OP) What will happen if you just be honest? Anonymous 06/24/23(Sat)04:15:03 No.29201700 ► >>29203240 >>29201656 she will nag the whole day. im just going to lie in bed and pretend nothing happend

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Father figure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 285 KB PNG 05/21/23(Sun)21:14:10 No.73407115 >be me >20 >older sister asks me to watch her kid so she and her husband can have a date night >very annoyed but agree >a couple days later >hang out with 4 year old niece >take her to the park >nobody there >push her on the swing >play tag on the playground with her >play hide and seek >watch out for her as she balances across the low stone walls that hold mulch on the playground >play many more games together >some kids show up and play with her >I get a break and talk with their moms >They tell my that I'm such a good dad for playing with my daughter >don't have the heart to tell them she's actually my niece >2.5 hours later >niece tires out >carry her home >make ravioli and grilled asparagus for dinner >after dinner >we watch sea life documentaries together on the couch. >she falls asleep in my lap I really want kids now bros. I haven't had this much fun in ages. I need to find a fembot to marry so I can have a family. Kids are just so precious.

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Greentext Stories - 4chan does things to anon | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 06/24/23(Sat)22:08:09 No.641833806 - 1643601172368.jpg ✩ (18 KB, 253x253) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao >>641831842 >do nothing but surf 4chan during quarantine >gf is annoying me >say "dilate t-----" to her before I can stop myself This place does things to you

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