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Mateus Lima

Mateus Lima • 15 days ago

March 2025

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>be me, asian California anon entering senior year HS >3.9 GPA (4.4 weighted), 34 ACT >always figured it wasn't gonna be enough to get me to a real college >my mom wakes me up early this morning, she is smiling, cooks me a huge f------ breakfast, starting to freak me out >she tells me Supreme Court just ruled against affirmative action 1.51 MB PNG >I AM GONNA F------ MAKE IT BROS LET'S F------ GOOOOOOOO >my mom shows me the list of schools where my GPA and ACT are the average >PRINCETON, STANFORD, PENN, BROWN, CORNELL >MOM IS SCREAMING, I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER THIS HAPPY >turn on MSNBC (mom is a resistance lib) and there is a panel talking about how the Supreme Court is white supremacist, and anyone who benefits from this ruling is a white supremacist >mom is crying, she loves MSNBC but she also loves me, knows she has to choose >she turns off the TV and hugs me over and over >1 hour later, I walk into the living room and see mom buying a white hood and robe and a John Roberts mug on the internet what is happening to my mom bros?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous 07/30/20(Thu)13:10:55 No.519249338 6473598D-4023-475B-A951-647DE715D643.gif 24 KB GIF >Got my first figure the other day of my waifu >displayed it on my pc desk >mom notices it "oh where did you get this? She's real cute omg" >tell her the video game she's from >mom actually looks up YouTube videos of her >next day "she's a very sweet girl Anon you need to find a girlfriend like her!" Thanks mom. >519249454 # >>519249519 # >>519249757 # >>519250135 # >>519250508 # >519250541 # >>519256940 # >>519257182 # >>519260043 #

Anonymous 01/24/24(Wed)18:23:32 No.664830897 gabe.jpg 347 KB JPG >does nothing >competition just keeps shooting themselves in the foot What is this business strategy called?

File: IMG_7592.jpg (926 KB, 1290x1402) Anonymous 04/01/25(Tue)14:00:41 No.933257456 What this retarded "April Fool's prank" has taught me: The right is correct. There needs to be borders. There needs to be containment zones. People from different countries (boards) are being flooded and forced into a singular one (America) that creates nothing but chaos and division. Nobody has any similar interest or cultures. You have anime posters and music posters fighting each other to dominate the discussion. You have p--- posters, gay posters, pro wrestling, biz, tv, and every other type of poster (immigrant) funneled into one place, that benefits absolutely no one at all. There is no mixing. There is no common group. There is simply chaos and fighting. Trump is right about immigration. >>933257842 # >>933257895 # >>933257973 # >>933257998 # >>933258201 # >>933258401 # >>933258403 # >>933258498 # >>933258875 # >>933258989 # >>933259013 # >>933259188 # >>933259216 # >>933259311 # >>933259387 # >>933259678 # >>933259683 # >>933260011 # >>933260075 # >>933260551 # >>933260614 # >>933260836 # >>933261302 # >>933261339 # >>933261554 # >>933262084 # >>933262387 # Anonymous (ID: QiPhnrTs) 04/02/25 (Wed)00:47:18 No.502086673 >>502086760 >>502086831 >>502086855 >>502086864 >>>502086891 >>502086894 >>502086971 >>502086974 >>502086985 >>502087260 >>502087424 >>502087425 >>502087988 >>502087992 >>502088064 >>502088159 >>502088214 >>502088250 >>502088256 >>502088278>>502088352 >>502088564 >>502088592 >>502088649 >>502088697 >>502088742 >>502088768 >>502088786 >>502088791 >>502088936 >>502088973 >>502089035 >>502089176 >>502089231 >>502089236 >>502089781 >>502089910 >>502090110 >>502090357 >>502091298 >>502091448 >>502091977 >>502092351 >>502092887 >>502092952 >>502093016 >>502093944 >>502094101 >>502094183 >>502094286 >>502094767 >>502095498 >>502098698 >>502098729 >>502098888 >>502098937 >>502099126 >>502099226 >>502099321 >>502099471 >>502100560 >>502100790 >>502101750 >>502101915 >>502102314 >>502102590 >>502102700 >>502102918 >>502103336 >>502103597 >>502103739 >>502104351 >>502104391 >>502104465 >>502106618 >>502107751 >>502107809 >>502108065 >>502108953 >>502109399 >>502109573 >>502109656 >>502110135 >>502110921 >>502114189 >>502116106 >>502116164 >>502116214 >>502116520 >april fools prank >accidentally redpill normies

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Serbanon misses an opportunity | /r/Greentext

File: Flag_of_Serbia.svg.png (77 KB, 800x533) Babetes Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)03:52:30 No.73839674 ► >>73840302 >>73840655 >>73840679 >in very large university groupchat >albanian girl asks "are you bosnian?, i have a bosnian friend with the same name" >im serbian and i know shes albanian. >profuselysweat.jpg >pretend like i didnt see that >realize there was also a turkish girl >realize that if i didnt ghost her we could have unleashed insurmountable shithousery onto unsuspecting liberal americnas ☐ Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)04:06:05 No.73839752 ► >>73841180 srbe na vrbe desu :) >> Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)04:37:56 No.73839963 ► File: 4265a8a.jpg (51 KB, 1080x389) That would've been based anon. I love scaring the american hoes with my uninhibited ultranationalism. Anonymous 06/29/23(The 4:40:47 No.73839984 ► >tfw no retarded nationalist serb bf who I can tell kosovo is serbia to and then kiss its over >> ☐ Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)05:38:09 No.73840302 >>73840328 >>73839674 (OP) Zasto se trebamo pretvarati da se mrzimo kad vise nikog nije briga??? Sta se dogodilo s bratsvom i jedinstvom?

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Too bothersome to sue, too annoying to just let it go. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >girl >at work >old man I help at the register sees me on lunch break >he immediately comes up to me >small talk ensues >before he leaves, he hugs me from the side and gives me a forehead kiss >tells me to not eat too much on New Years or else I wont be as cute anymore How does one react to this please help E 12/30/22(Fri)20:38:30 No.71625248 2.04 MB PNG

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anon sticks to the bro code | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/29/23(Thu)09:32:42 No.73839528 [Reply] >friend has a crush on the girl i'm talking to >she is very obviously flirty with me and not him >realize this >try to f--- up my game as much as possible by acting retarded and disinterested >she still flirts with me >tell her flat out i masturbate to hentai >she still flirts with me Is there something else I can do, short of saying "I don't want to f--- you because my best friend does?"

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Anon is an average redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous rjunpopularopinion Raidsdayz 4d 2 I hate the sun I really do not understand why people enjoy when it's sunny out. It's too bright, too hot, you get burned, and it's harder to drive. And personally 1 get headaches. I've also noticed that people tend to act really stupid when the weather is like that (it reminds me of when insects become activated/ crazy when the sun is out). Why do people enjoy it so much? Join Edit: did not expect this to blow up lol. Thank you for all the upvotes and nice comments. 2427 Share G 290 KB JPG sunburned >ughmetoo 06/29/23(Thu)08:32:00 No.901734778 >be me this morning >21m >scrolling past John Oliver posts on le Reddit >come across a post on r/unpopularopinion "I hate the sun" >remember of that time I got >start scrolling through r/unpopularopinon >shove a curling iron into my ass >agree with more posts >curling iron feels so good and warm and right like the exclusive validation from the select few with whom I share the same onion >people with regular, not unpopular, opionjons begin to seem like delusional normies unaware of their own mediocrity >think about how special and unique I am >anus clenches around the curling iron >start typing "unpopular opinion" in front of all my posts >keep scrolling through r/unpopolaropinon >pop a viagra >start upvoting all the unpopular opionons I agree with >finger hovers over the upvote button >wow I share this unpopular opinion with 12.1k other kind strangers we're all so special and different >inhale the rancid smell of burning flesh and s--- >tingly sensation throughout my body >feel the 21st chromosome in each cell of my body begin to prophase and metaphase >incompletemitosis.gif >try to process w-- happened but literally can't bc I'm a f------ retard >screech as the curling iron sears and chars my a------

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CEO of csgo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>959398 # >>959700 # Anonymous 35 KB JPG 06/18/23(Sun)06:30:20 No.959391 4 168630063787116778.png 269 KB PNG 06/18/23(Sun)06:45:14 No.959398 >>959391 # >bocchi the reddit

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Anon can't eat it anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)13:41:14 No.73299876 1683262494773698.jpg 280 KB JPG >mom made steaks last night >everyone forgot to put the leftovers into the freezer >they've been sitting out for 12 hours I really wanted to eat them man

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Wish granted! | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: 63383A09-B195-4E61-B69C-8(...).jpg (78 KB, 757x624) >> >> >> >>432542643 >>432542523 (OP) # I want jews to control the world. Anonymous (ID: RG98sqhC Anonymous (ID: 7p2pjCCU) 06/28/23 (Wed)22:24:17 No.432542566 >>432542670 >>432542566 # Granted! Anonymous (ID: 7p2pjCCU >>432542643 # Everything is is same. Anonymous (ID: ARWE5ys6 06/28/23(Wed)22:23:41 No.432542523 >>432542566 I AM CALYPSO AND I ASK YOU, WHAT POLITICAL OPINION DO YOU WISH TO BE REAL? AND ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU AGAIN FOR PARTICIPATING IN MY TWISTED METAL TOURNAMENT 4/1/4/7 06/28/23(Wed)22:25:09 No.432542643 06/28/23 (Wed)22:25:26 No.432542670

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Anon has childhood memories | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Shut up shart shut 06/28/23 (Wed)23:23:46 No.73837725 52 KB JPG >back when I was 16 >parents shipped me to a wilderness camp >classic legal kidnapping at all >door flung open, flashlights in my eyes, tinnitus causing screaming >met a boy out there >he would sneak into my cabin or tent, whatever we were in at the time >we would cuddle and whisper to each other for hours every night until I fell asleep >every morning I would wake up without him, he snuck back out so gently it never woke me up >we would talk about everything >growing up, what we loved, what we hated >how our parents were so terrible to us >how much I loved him >we promised to meet each other once we were free again >we never revealed our secret during the day >we were scared if they knew they would separate us and punish us >after we went home it took me a few months to find a way to contact him >his mother answered >when he got home he grabbed a gun as fast as he could and blew his own head apart in front of the entire family >still hear his voice every time I try to sleep

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Anon is ninety pounds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 07/12/22(Tue)08:30:49 >never drank anything in my life >bought a small can of beer yesterday >tastes like s---, drink it anyway >10 minutes later >feel like dying Alcohol is degeneracy, Im converting to Islam No.69382458

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/pol/lack notices a double standard | /r/Greentext

File: image_2023-06-28_160239330.png (585 KB, 831x684) Anonymous (ID: peVP3JYY) 06/28/23 (Wed)16:03:21 No.432524064 ► >>432525866 >>432527303 >>432527600 >>432527889 >>432528320 >>432528402 >>432528668 >>432528923 >Straight >Rich >White >Corrupt >Criminal >Junkie >P-------- >Adulterer >Deadbeat dad >Incestuous >Uses Daddy's political power to get out of problem Do lefties have no consistency at all? I've seen lots of twittards and redditors defending this p------------. For the past 10 years they never stopped bitching about "straight rich white men" now they fervently defend the personification of everything they claimed to hate.

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Anon lives in the US of A | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 7r405Rfz america edition MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN 06/28/23(Wed)11:35:15 No.432483149 8 KB PNG >wake up sweating grease >heave my 440 lbs body out of bed >ride my mobility scooter to the kitchen >it breaks down 1/2 of the way there (biden's fault) >hobble the rest of the way using twin AR-15s as crutches as the founding fathers intended >BLAM >six year old son shot himself in the leg with the pistol we bought him >shoot him in the head because it's cheaper than healthcare >black neighbor calls the cops on me >head to walmart, tripping over homeless vets and junkies >eggs cost $45 a piece >gummy worms cost $3 >buy gummy worms in bulk >come back home just in time to see my neighbor getting shot by the police he called >crack open a six pack and turn on the TV >half the country's on fire again greatest country in the world, eh?

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Anon works for Meta | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: F30t6zkY Meta/Facebook reanimating the (...) 71 KB JPG 02/23/23(Thu)15:36:54 No.417337998 I'm a Meta insider working on Project Lazarus. We're building an Al that can take over a deceased persons social media accounts and continue making relevant posts as if that person is still alive. This includes age progressed photos, interacting with other peoples content and everything else needed so that person continues on in the digital realm after physical death. We were originally told this would be a service offered to people struggling with the loss of loved ones and people who had missing children. Seemed like a decent idea. Things are getting weird now and I'm having second thoughts about what this is actually going to be used for. The Al is extremely capable of impersonating people. It doesn't take as much initial input as one might think to train the Al how a certain person interacts with the digital world. It's very convincing. An entire island of people could go missing and with little to no downtime the Al could take over all of their social media and the world wouldn't have a clue that life wasn't just continuing as usual. A lot of the project is becoming more compartmentalized. Things have taken a dark turn it feels like. They've forbidden communication between people working on different things. Something isn't right and I don't know what I should do. I'm not going to post any personally identifiable information but I will try to answer questions that won't expose my role within the project.

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Greentext Stories - Anon's mom is radicalized by Supreme Court Affirmative Action ruling | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

>be me, asian California anon entering senior year HS >3.9 GPA (4.4 weighted), 34 ACT >always figured it wasn't gonna be enough to get me to a real college >my mom wakes me up early this morning, she is smiling, cooks me a huge f------ breakfast, starting to freak me out >she tells me Supreme Court just ruled against affirmative action 1.51 MB PNG >I AM GONNA F------ MAKE IT BROS LET'S F------ GOOOOOOOO >my mom shows me the list of schools where my GPA and ACT are the average >PRINCETON, STANFORD, PENN, BROWN, CORNELL >MOM IS SCREAMING, I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER THIS HAPPY >turn on MSNBC (mom is a resistance lib) and there is a panel talking about how the Supreme Court is white supremacist, and anyone who benefits from this ruling is a white supremacist >mom is crying, she loves MSNBC but she also loves me, knows she has to choose >she turns off the TV and hugs me over and over >1 hour later, I walk into the living room and see mom buying a white hood and robe and a John Roberts mug on the internet what is happening to my mom bros?

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