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Anonymous 158 KB PNG 07/04/23(Tue)16:59:02 No.902054269 >be me >American >4th of July >wage massa gave us day off work >no friends to celebrate with, family disowned me long ago >make burger and hot dog for myself >wait till it gets dark and light off a sparkler >coom to some p---- just now >drink a beer and watch the fireworks from my window >remember I couldn't do any of this if I was in China >mfw proud to be an American Happy Merica day bros

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon obviously couldn’t take a hint | /r/Greentext

Anonymous F--- DEADASS? >be me 37 KB JPG 07/04/23(Tue)16:20:37 No.73905484 >in 9th grade >know this one girl in my classes >9/10 hot asf but she's the most annoying bitch I've ever met. >steals my s---, insults me, s---- on my hobbies, tries to humiliate me in front of her friends >hate her guts >one day I've had enough of her s--- and yell at her in the middle of class >her face is bright red and she stops messing with me >constantly tries initiating conversation with me afterward >ignore her or give one word answers >randomly stops me in the hallway and tries to talk to me >I was having a bad day >tell her to f--- off and die >runs away crying and stops talking to me >find out years later from a friend that she had a huge crush on me and bullied me to get my attention cuz thats how I acted with my friends >look her up on insta >she's drop dead gorgeous and in medical school studying to be a neurologist >realize what my life could've been I'm a virgin at 25 f--- everything man

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Anon dates a disabled woman | /r/Greentext

File: wwheelchair.jpg (73 KB, 480x480) Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)22:57:51 No.73905241 ► >be me, single anon; no s---, sherlock >want intimate time with a lady >goes on le Tinder >match with a cutie >speak with her for two weeks, agree on a date >super excited >today, go to meeting point, a bar downtown I suggested >I look like a pretrified idiot >so no seks with cute robogirl I presume >see her waiting in a wheelchair on a table outside the bar >-the f--- is this >go talk to her >she tells me she got into a car accident, that this is something new and she didn't tell me because she thought I would refuse to meet her, also she might walk again someday >ok, that's fair enough, it's true I'm not sure I would have agreed >old back anger, take a deep breath >never f----- with a cripple, might be fun, who knows >sit down, ask if she wants to drink something >young lady quite surprised >order two cokes >genuinely interested on knowing how she's getting thru life >say I'm sorry to have chosen this bar, because it's not easy to access for a disabled person >we start talking, quickly notice something is not right, she's looking more and more uncomfortable, the more she talks, the less her story makes sense >suddently she stands up from her chair >-WAT, BEHOLD A MIRACLE >>proceeds to tell me that it was some kind of pervert social experiment, points a guy behind me, guy waves at me and does a thumbsup >she says that I seem to be a very nice lad and wishes me luck to meet someone nice because I deserve it >I'm ded inside, mortified >she leaves with the guy It was too good to be true, since I didn't have to take the f------ bitch to anywhere and just paid for the two cokes, I decided to use the monies to hire an escort tomorrow. Pic unrelated

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The king does not feel fear at sight of a peasant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/23(Wed) 22:32:32 No.70838867 10 KB JPG found an infinite motivation glitch >be me >21 >6'3 wider than a doorframe >a little chubby, socially awkward and insecure >be at work >pouring water into my bottle >coworker waiting behind me >an hour later overhear him talking with another coworker >"I've gotta get into the gym again. Every new guy that comes is bigger than me" >realize that im not the only one who gets insecure >ff 2 months >read lots of psychology and philosophy books >realize how intimidated everyone is by me since im huge and mostly quiet >decide to become even bigger >start lifting >get noticably bigger muscles >lose some weight >become more confident >talk more with coworkers >social anxiety decreases >mfw its so easy bros just be better than them make them insecure make them doubt themselves

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Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)12:20:16 No.902040238 [Reply] ► So my girlfriend got r---- and beaten. I broke up with her right after she told me. This is what happened: >Dating girlfriend for 7 months. >She wants to go to this sleazy club with her friend. >I told her I didn't want her to go. >Had an argument about it. She was like "You don't own me and I can do what I want." and that b-------. >Told her if she went then I'm breaking up with her. >She said she wouldn't go and dropped it. >Saturday came. >Hadn't heard from her all day. >At 4AM on Sunday she calls me crying. >She says she got r---- and beat up. >She went to the club anyway. Apparently she left alone with some guy and his friend to go to a party. They took her somewhere and beat her up and r---- her. >Had many feelings about this, none of them pleasant. >I told her if she went to the club that I'd leave her and I told her we were over. >She started freaking out and saying she needs me right now and that she was sorry. >Told her never to call me again. >Have been getting rabid hate from her friends and my friends think I was way too cold. >She broke my trust, went somewhere I said not to, was probably going to end up cheating on me anyway and got r---- and beaten over it and I'm suppose to feel sorry for her. I saw her like yesterday and she was pretty beat up, she had bruises and a black eye and stuff. So I do believe she was r---- but this wouldn't of happened if she had just listened to me. Everybody thinks I'm evil. My ex-girlfriend has been trying to talk to me but I have no desire to speak to her. You guys think I was too harsh? I just have a hard time feeling bad when I feel so right...

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Anons brother hates toast | /r/Greentext

Anonymous UJI 1 1/2 1/100/14.00. TO 110.004 11 JUJI >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason 85 KB JPG >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread

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Anon can't get a word | /r/Greentext

- Oh God! This code is horrible! Who wrote this crap?! S---, It was me. Anonymous 07/03/23 (Mon)22:37:18 No.73896896 [Reply]► >>73896939 >>73896949 >be me, retard >go to word to make some work >See that my office needs the 2019 activation code and the new 2021 activation, and they just locked me out of word (on an important moment) >belive that 2021 activation code will override the 2019 one and easy problem solve >search for instruction on youtube >do everything correctly >2021 is office is officially installed and activated but still locked because I need the the 2019 code >enter the easy general passwords >nothing registers >install the overrider >it basically made the 2021 code useless >uninstall office straight up, realize I should have gone for the 2019 first >install office and the activator code >office instaled, code doenst work, and the 2021 activation code is still required >have till friday to solve this or III get locked again >mfw when I have to uninstall all this random activators, programs and s--- in my attempt to throw everything at the wall I should have min maxed into computer b-------, oh well Anonymous 07/03/23 (Mon)22:42:46 No.73896939 ► >>73896896 (OP) >op trusts a corp in twenty twenty f------ three and gets f----- over Who would have thought. Anyway, just pirate it like the normal people

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Dipper Goes To Taco Bell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 94 KB PNG 07/04/23(Tue)09:57:45 No.902027857 >>Be me >>Dipper >>Go to Taco Bell >>Hijinks Ensue >>The End

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anon didn't manage his expectations | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 89 264 KB PNG 07/04/23(Tue)13:11:46 No.73902863 >meet a new bitch >she only has two boobs >ensure a boring date until you can politely leave

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Long time swimmer, first time collar | /r/Greentext

I T-Mobile Board /lgbt/ - LGBT Anonymous 144 KB JPG 1:46 PM boards.4channel.org ✓ 31% ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/04/23(Tue)12:35:50 No.31782520 I pranked my bottom again. Might've gone too far this time >bottom bf surprises me wearing a leather collar he custom-ordered >the dog tags have my name and his >"anon as long as I'm wearing this you can do ANYTHING you want to me! Don't hold back!" >quivering in anticipation of our usual dom/sub antics >...but he did say ANYTHING >drag him to the beach with me and make him go snorkeling with me to try to see fish and crabs and sea creatures >unsatisfied with the quantity and variety of fish seen at the beach, I drag him to the aquarium to look at more fish (even though it's far cooler to find them in the wild) >take him home and make him download classic Starcraft (not starcraft 2) and play against me >demand to have passionate, sickeningly sweet vanilla sex where we lavish each other in praise and affection and I am physically transmitting love into his body with every touch and every thrust and every moment of eye contact >the next morning I find the collar in the trash and he's so irritated he sulks for days Worth it. Next time he'll choose his words more carefully lol

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Anon makes a wish... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 374 KB JPG 07/04/23(Tue)18:24:08 No.187113591 Speak your three wishes. 07/04/23(Tue)18:27:31 No.187113703 : Anonymous >>187113591 (OP) # >I with for you, the djinn, to give a BJ to another djinns child checkmate demon, you're now known as the pedodjinn

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Anon's friend accidentally kills himself. | /r/Greentext

File: 1385260192525.png-(200 KB, 438x336, 1356057001793.png) Anonymous 11/23/13(Sat)21:29:52 UTC-5 No.517672052 Replies: >>517672226 >>517672274 >>517673125 >>517673550 >>517675017 So guys, my friend might have just killed himself by accident, in a really hilarious way no less. >be at my house >parents are out for weekend >have all my d------ friends over and smoke some weed and get drunk >little brother is a pal, doesn't tell on us >about an hour into our session, friend picks up a peculiar small brown cardboard cylinder that was lying around and prepares to smoke it >we were all pretty stoned but I was conflicted about what the thing was but I was pretty sure It wasn't a blunt >as he is about to light one end I suddenly realize with horror what it actually was >little brother does model rockets as a hobby which run on small fuel cylinders like the one he was about to smoke >before I can say anything he lights it >FFFFFFFFFFWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.jpg >cylinder ignites >thrust from flame pushes cylinder down friend's throat into stomach >hear loud "pop" as it blows up inside him >friend starts screaming with flames and smoke pouring from his mouth >we all panic and lose our s--- >lil' bother calls 911 despite our activities >ambulance arrives and picks up now convulsing friend >we all get co t summons because weed >still have yet to hear of friend's condition >worst day of my life >not sure whether looking back on this to laugh my ass off or cry hysterically TL;DR my friend tried to smoke a model rocket engine thinking it was a blunt

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retarded piratejack | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 476311042 X 38 65,0 kB PNG 27 REPLIES 2 hr. ago >download a $60 game 100 times >company loses $6000 46 IMAGES REPLY

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Greentext Stories - Anon is an American | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 158 KB PNG 07/04/23(Tue)16:59:02 No.902054269 >be me >American >4th of July >wage massa gave us day off work >no friends to celebrate with, family disowned me long ago >make burger and hot dog for myself >wait till it gets dark and light off a sparkler >coom to some p---- just now >drink a beer and watch the fireworks from my window >remember I couldn't do any of this if I was in China >mfw proud to be an American Happy Merica day bros

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