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Greentext Stories - Anon is a bug exterminator | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 07/29/16(Fri) 12:16:22 No.30800468 >>30800034 (OP) Have you built a crematorium to dispose of slug bodies yet? I have a story. The story of the Locust Genocide of 2006 >be me >7th grade >have orange tree. Love that orange tree >then came to locust >they cameby the the thousand >the grass would jump out of your way as you walked across the yard, there were so many >they ate my poor orange tree to death >began systematically killing them every day >nightly patrols of my property >used a 4" fixed blade knife to behead them when I found them >sometimes magdumped airsoft gun into the bushes, hundreds of locust would jump out; many with BB wounds tearing them apart >reserved special punishment for locust found on my tree >would capture them and pit them in a small box, which I would bury in the tree's pot so they could be with my previous tree forever >would spray with starting fluid and light them on fire >would force needles through their skull, slowly, pin them to the trunk of the tree >eventually the bodies were so littered that my mom complained >clearly I needed a disposal method >took empty soda can and buried it except for door and a chimney I built from tinfoil >would spray thoroughly with starting fluid >could cremate half a dozen locust at a time >cremated so many that the can eventually melted Thinking back, it was a little extreme

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