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Work stories? I'll share mine, I was a guitarist in a band, the first time I played in public actually went so bad I never played a guitar again. I'll tell you about my first and last gig: >be me 198 KB JPG >17 at the time >my father sets me up to perform to perform for a christian gathering outside a church >pic related it kinda looked like that >evetybody is already seated, I start singing >emotions overcome me, so I start screwing up all the chords >I am so embarassed I even stop singing >to save the situation I pretend to faint pornstarsActBetter.mov >everyone gathers around me in shock, looks like they are buying it >someone grabs me, probably to get me to the hospital >I thought they were going to load me in a car, but they actually used what felt like a horse drawn cart or a carriage >I didn't know these people were amish, but whatever >I realize that the doctors at the hospital will notice I am faking, so I decide to pretend waking up >as I open my eyes someone says "hey you! you are finally awake" >mfw I start hearing medieval music >mfw everybody is dressed in medieval clothes >mfw as I see Todd Howard dressed as a priest running off in the distance, I realize I am in Skyrim And that's why I stopped playing the guitar.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Boomer squeezes cheese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8/17/2023, 11:03:53 AM No.30941047 18 KB JPEG > Be me > Boomer (Pic related) > Shuffling down the street with my walker > Going to pick up boner pills > The heat gets to me. My stomach gurgles > Suddenly start blowing mud in my boxers > Flows down my canary yellow Bermuda shorts > Past my black knee socks > Into my white vinyl loafers > Squishes when I walk > The smell is disgusting > I hope my boner pills are ready

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two anons bullshit each other | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 455 KB PNG 08/18/23(Fri)00:59:42 No.74422603 > Be me at college orientation > Theres a group activity to meet new people and try to make some friends >God dammit >pair up with this other guy who seemed pretty chill but also sporty >after an awkward pause he asks me if I saw the game last night >autism kicks in >never watched sports but I said I did unfortunately see the game >Why was it unfortunate he asks me > Make some s--- up about there were a lot of bad plays and the refs made some dumb calls >says he agrees with that, it honestly could have gone better >Feel like I'm doing a good job bullshitting >Asked him what he thought of the game and which team was his favorite >long pause I want to die >"Actually bro, I didn't see the game. I was just feeling awkward and wanted to make some small talk" >We were f------ bullshitting each other about a nonexistent game

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Anon loves being a zoomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)18:01:01 No.74367824 EAT SLEEP R--- REPEAT Global Blue E Global Blue Global Blue 1685630608107657.jpg 2.56 MB JPG >Wake up >j------- >hit my strawberry kiwi elfbar >boot up pirated Skyrim anniversary edition its good to be a zoomer

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Anon is chad....... | /r/Greentext

7 KB JPG >am Chad >get Stacys whenever I want >betafag roommate >introduces me to 4chan >lose all my friends, my family start to hate me and I never get p---- again Thanks F------

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Anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 531 KB JPG 07/13/22(Wed)11:10:02 No.881955464 >Be me >Tired of the r--- dwarf hurting innocent lives >Invent time machine and go back in time to kill it's mother before it has even been conceived >Meet young female dwarf >Fall in love >Have sex >She gets pregnant >Realization sets in >WhatHavelDone.png

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Femanon is a shit person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 107 KB JPG 09/02/22 (Fri)17:56:51 No.884961353 >be me >24 y/o femanon, been f------ the same guy for 6 years >never had much sexual experience outside my bf >bf decides to join the military >i can finally unleash my inner slut >fast forward to now >bf has been deployed for six months, told him when he gets back i will marry him >i have already f----- at least 15 guys while he was gone >while hes out there in the field suffering, probably gonna die, i've been out here living the dream >life is good He has no idea ive been cheating on him Imao

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1) Denial. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 743 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)09:56:07 No.51098963 SHE IS NOT A GUY YOU CAN NOT CONVINCE ME THIS IS A GUY. ITS A HER. ITS A SHE. IM NOT GAY THIS IS A GIRL A GROWN WOMAN EVEN REPEAT AFTER ME GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIR LGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGI RLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLG IRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRL GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIR LGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGI RLGIRLGIRLGIRL

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The worst is people getting offended by "retard". Bunch of fucking retards. | /r/Greentext

3 KB PNG 4chan >Call someone a f----- >At worst they call you a f----- back >That's that Reddit >Call someone a f----- >"I thought that in this day and age we wouldn't have to deal with homophobia my grandfather was a leather daddy in the 50s and he had AIDS and that's ok and multiculturalism is great and I love b--------- and... Etc >You have been banned fro r/whatever please suck our d---- to come back Redditors can't even handle entry-level banter, they're like the preschoolers of the internet.

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Anon watches capeshit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/23(Wed)14:43:49 No.188809055 the-suicide-squad-viola-davis-is-returning-as-amanda-waller_vrr2.jpg 89 KB JPG >What if Superman had decided to fly down, rip off the roof of the White House, and grab the President right out of the Oval Office? >That's why you need a guy with a gun, a 5'6" girl with a baseball bat, another guy with a gun, a guy with some boomerangs, an MS13 mestizo with a lighter, a crocodile, a guy who can climb really well, a 5'2" girl with a sword and an archeologist who turned into a weird zombie witch (oh by the way she betrayed us immediately)... >...you know, to stop Superman. So where's my off-the- books funding?

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Anon doesn't like sharks. | /r/Greentext

13h (8/17 5:15) 4594711 24 Re - 3 Img PNG. 37KB (684 × 449) · 1662177610233355.png 4 Replies >it was just a test bite >the person just looked like a seal >sharks aren't dangerous, they're just living torpedoes with teeth that are so adept at killing that they've existed for almost a billion years 13h (8/17 5:18). 4594715 2 Replies >>4594711 (OP) >it's totally fine that apex predators are going extinct because once in a blue moon they attack humans by accident shut the f--- up

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Anon robs a gas station. | /r/Greentext

4 KB JPG >be me >broke as f--- about to rob this gas station >push the door open and this f------ geek is behind the counter >ez.png >pull my gun out and tell the tard to give me all the money >he's f------ smiling the whole time like he wanted to get robbed >nervous.jpeg >he flips his hat back amd puts on these sick shades and screams the words "ITS NERF OR NOTHING!!!" >"the sacred words..." i manged to let out >im terrified and drop everything >he pulls the trigger and im not there anymore >im in a carriage in the woods drawn by 2 horses and my hands are bound >this a------ looks at me and says "hey, you! you're finally awake? you were trying to cross the border, right?" >f------ todd howard, you've done it again Dont rob gas statioms, lesson learned

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are self-posts allowed here | /r/Greentext

File: image_2023-08-17_030400038.png (208 KB, 1000x1000) w-- Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)03:04:08 No.904465602 >be me> >be watching yt at 3am> >see le familiar image> >realization.jpg> >its a photo from my insta> >my insta is privated> >reverse image search it> >200+ results, all match> >oldest ones predate my photo by 7 years> w-- /b/ is time travel real?

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Greentext Stories - Anon share a work story. | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Work stories? I'll share mine, I was a guitarist in a band, the first time I played in public actually went so bad I never played a guitar again. I'll tell you about my first and last gig: >be me 198 KB JPG >17 at the time >my father sets me up to perform to perform for a christian gathering outside a church >pic related it kinda looked like that >evetybody is already seated, I start singing >emotions overcome me, so I start screwing up all the chords >I am so embarassed I even stop singing >to save the situation I pretend to faint pornstarsActBetter.mov >everyone gathers around me in shock, looks like they are buying it >someone grabs me, probably to get me to the hospital >I thought they were going to load me in a car, but they actually used what felt like a horse drawn cart or a carriage >I didn't know these people were amish, but whatever >I realize that the doctors at the hospital will notice I am faking, so I decide to pretend waking up >as I open my eyes someone says "hey you! you are finally awake" >mfw I start hearing medieval music >mfw everybody is dressed in medieval clothes >mfw as I see Todd Howard dressed as a priest running off in the distance, I realize I am in Skyrim And that's why I stopped playing the guitar.

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