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Anonymous Gun-maxing 08/18/23(Fri)21:21:54 No.74435408 66 KB JPG >go to range to try out some handguns before buying >every website is filled with advertisements for training women in shooting firearms >soccer moms were literally shooting there as I bought ammo >my gf has been mentioned wanting to get a gun as soon as she is 21 >the staff and competition is mostly retired police officers >actual chads do show up but not as often >take a concealed carry class >instructor literally says a woman can always shoot a person without getting arrested because they will be seen as defenseless even if to other guy is unarmed >guys just be careful of who and where you shoot >and always call a lawyer especially if you did nothing >no wonder women enjoy this Guys I think I found a hobby that can get you women

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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>his waifu doesn't have access to a fleet of private satellites so that she can track a singular person anywhere on the planet and then call in her private B-52 to firebomb half of Afghanistan

Anonymous Failed shopping attempt 105 KB JPG 03/29/25(Sat) 07:38:26 No.80793301 They should stop hiring attractive women as sales associates in men's clothing shops. >be me >trying to buy shoes in a sneakers shop >needed to ask one of their workers to bring out a pair in my size >all the workers, besides one older dude, are attractive girls of my age >feel uncomfortable, but wait till that guy isn't busy and ask him >try the shoes on, it's not a great fit, want to ask for a different size >the guy is now nowhere to be seen >assemble all my courage and ask one of the female workers >8/10 beaty >"yeah, sure..." a bit of annoyance can be heard in her voice and the look of disgust isn't fully hidden on her face >"actually nevermind" >leave the shop F--- I HATE BEING LOOKED AT WITH DISGUST. Most likely would have bought something, if they hadn't decided to hire those Stacies View Thread

Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

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Anon's a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 08/13/23(Sun)18:31:38 No.74367966 >talking to mum >"Have any plans today?" >Not really (same as every other time you've asked) >"Do you want to come to the store with me?" >Ok >"Do you still make those songs you used to do?" >Not really >"Were there any music clubs at your uni?" >Yeah but I didn't really feel like it >"How are people in your course?" >Idk I haven't really talked to them Every time she talks to me I'm reminded of what a failure I've become in the last few years I joined no clubs/societies I made no friends in uni I barely do any of the things I used to love doing anymore All I do is go to the gym and go home and try to will myself to read 2 pages a book and waste my entire day doing nothing and taking to no-one in what is supposed to be the prime of my life I can't even bring myself to act happy around my family anymore I just walk around like soulless husk trying to muster a half hearted smile from time to time when I manage to look up from the floor

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Seriously, What do guys talk about with girls? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 89 KB PNG 08/11/23(Fri)21:52:13 No.29551105 Do girls like it when you autistically talk with them about old video games they likely have never played

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anonette makes a makeshift shotgun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 18 KB JPG 08/18/23(Fri)17:26:29 No.904567838 >be me, 19f >post about tardbot >be annoyed by tardbot >come up with genius solution >remember from when I was younger of twisting bottles and popping the cap off, making loud pop >decide to start using my water bottles as indoor shotguns >still don't know if tardbot will stop annoying me anons, next time I see him I am using my water bottle

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Fats McGee and His Retard Three | /r/Greentext

he blue, round in his stomach acid gee start laughing and running around the room s flail- I mean play kickball- on the baseball field card Three F------ smell. 01 No.384375601 20447-The-End-of-Time-d(...).jpg) st time I met four men that changed my life. This tard Three. ia, due to the size of the class. ush past me, go to vending machine. large and ape-like Fats Mcgee is. co inflict violence. machine, trying to reach up to pull Chips out. 9 Chaos. e, in his sputtering retard tone buddle of urine crying, arm in the vending machine. ding machine to s--- to free him. . they lead him away 5:55:21 No.384378182 uchachild.jpg) Mcgee and the Retard Three Part II the first incident om, working on some school stuff (At this point, I'm trying to get my Masters) anning down the hall, bursting into classrooms and waving to teachers that actually like them n sroom." e noise, a noise I'd come to call The Song of the Tard'. 's I'm grading er Tards help it, because I have a special education family member who doesn't act like that. Please leave." ENGAGED ard IMY SPECIAL ED STUDENT ENTERED HIS CLASSROOM HE MUST HATE SPECIAL ED." (Thu)16:06:18 No.384379762 1, 8947_deac.gif) 8 as glorious. and his Retard Three part 3: Revenge of the S--- childhood education, to get my Masters. Class is taking notes while I press s--- on powerpoint, barely paying attention. scream o have a knife, because I teach in one of the s-------- schools in the nation ee have walked in, and started screaming Retard Speech at this girl, trying to steal her orange fanta this f------ s---.. arm agling Tard Cage AKA Thunderdome me STER, AND AFTER ONE OF YOU HAVE BEEN FIRED BECAUSE OF IT. LEARN TO DO YOUR JOB. not before seeing that Fats had royally s--- himself. Bad enough that it doesn't even look like a stain; it looks like s--- is actually dribbling from the back classroom Wild for the rest of class. st of the day, I start taking skin off. 21/12(Thu)16:17:35 No.384381482 30x182, What+the+gif+doctor+who.gif) cgee and his Retard Three part IV: The Field is alive (With the sound of Tard must be a sophomore about this point. I have my Masters, and plan on working oach, because the previous one was arrested for diddling the pickle of students. d for fourth block, which is Practice/Strength and Conditioning they can wrap it up, since the Tards only have the field for third block. I actually like, starts rounding them up, doing her job. ntinue what will be a war until he graduates Tard Guard t s. He gets to the top, and hurls his bluejeans at the Tard Guard. d, and is now wrapped in s----covered blue jeans. = stamina, capable of running while creating a massive f------ trail ard gets close, becoming a literal- whirlwind of s---. stops running that day. 03/01/12(Thu)16:28:32 No.384383120 450x300, DoctorWho.jpg) 384382097 e Tale of Fats Mcgee and his Retard Three Part V: Field Day. ater the same year as the baseball field incident E's Homecoming Day; which means we don't do s---, and there are various activities for the kids. cudying because I'm a f------ nerd. ee and his Retard Three sol slide' the bullies do in movies, and ends up slamming into me. ke 4 day old boiled cabbage that has been left out in the sun, and marinated in piss and horse j---. front of me, facing me by, is clearly pleased with my freindliness' towards the Tards wnie points, but hope in my heart that the look of terror on my face betrays the idea I'm being friendly aring. One is drooling, and it's starting to pool on my book. ?" n my ear efore my eyes xs up, starts making loud noises, telling the Retards to 'go the f--- away' ds with a player of mine, Ray. He'll be important later. evenge. s--- stains on the bleacher next to me, and the book I was studying is ruined. cher ot GEb) 03/01/12(Thu)16:42:41 No.384385112 0 KB, 600x350, 302_the_shakespeare_code_1.gif) The Tale of Fats Mcgee and his Retard Three Part VI: An Exchange of Blows. This honor goes to Ray more than anything- If you're out there, man. Th was f------ glorious. >Second Semester of Fat's Sophmore year >There have been many minor events between Part V and Part VI, but nothing that wouldn't be much more than a repeat. with Fats Mcgees s--- for two and a half years now. is a senior, have become steadfast allies against the Tard Menace 7 going to have to cancel practice the day before a big game because of a 'Disco-Themed Prom' for the Tard Empire h Ray. Fiend alone at some point. end fifteen dollars to, in the middle of prom, whip his d--- out and start rubbing Fats with it. me to go to the Prom where he's being a Peer Buddy, telling me that it'll be worth it' ed and irritated at Ray the Retard Three whips out his d--- and starts rubbing it against Fats. starts screeching herwised occupied you didn't ally did coach goes into Rage Mode: Final Form his own, chode-like Tard Penis and starts 'dueling' his friend, screaming in Tard Rage no idea 3 has grabs his Tard Friend and hurls him into a big, plastic pillar they set up for pictures nearly crushing the Tard Guard coming in just a moment. Ouj2GEb) 03/01/12(Thu)16:43:55 No.384385314 og-(66 KB, 470x280, 316472.jpg) >All. Helll. Breaks. Loose. >Fats has removed his pants completely, and is waving his d--- around, pissing on everything. >The Retard Three have all started c--- dueling. >I'm staring, awestruck, at what Ray has wrought. me sus, the end is here. nto me at full Retard Speed, and starts screaming in my face. m off, but gets in trouble later for 'Attacking' the kid because of Ultimate Mother Bitch Mode ered in Tard Urine and S--- forever when I get home at point, Fats realized how bad he f----- up., Because he just started crying. eginning of the End had arrived. O: z0uj2GEb) 03/01/12(Thu)16:59:20 No.384387792 -0.jpg-(146 KB, 500x375, tumblr_lyw9sbJhyX1qzyhfjo1_500.jpg) Fats Mcgee and his Retard Three part VII: End of the Beginning of the End >I was forced to remove Ray from the team because of the Prom incident, but we're still fast friends even after he graduates. >I'm entering my third year of teaching, and Fat's junior year. It's taken all summer, but I've finally figured out my plan. >I can't get damaged-in-school, or they'd find a way to blame me or the school. I have to find a way to get Fats to damage of school. a fact Fats is turning 18 soon, because he was held back a year in middle school, so I could get him tried as an adult. bokie to befriend one of his Retard Three, and now have a Spy in the base. at Fat's birthday is March 31st. The second semester of his Junior year. Man, I continue being a good teacher, and am close to getting my PhD. after moving to a new classroom, Fats begins to fade from my mind because I'm not so close to him. appens. art 2 incoming us (ID: z0uj2GEb) 03/01/12(Thu)17:07:39 No.384389158 539659.jpg-(26 KB, 600x337, tennant.aspx.jpg) The Tale of Fats McGee and his Retard Three, Part VIII: A Farewell to Arms part I. >Finally, March rolls around. April 1st comes. >It is time. >I start learning Fat's pattern. What he does for fun. ns out, Fats is an avid fan of movies, and loves going to the cinema. ly, I use my Spy to learn when Fats is going to be at a movie. we to the theatre, and spot Fats in line. ime. I prepare myself, before walking towards the movie. I don't let him see me until we're in the concession line. my luck. They made fresh popcorn, and he had a bucket. = is going to hurt really f------ bad, but it'll be worth it. s turns around. th 'Found you, F---------.' s starts screaming g me to my sleep, /b/. Incoming FINAL BOSS BATTLE. mous (ID: z0uj2GEb) 03/01/12(Thu)17:11:51 No.384389884 30639911.gif-(496 KB, 500x278, doctorwho10idontwanttogo.gif) The Final Story of Fats Mcgee and his Retard Three >Stare down Fats. >Fats starts freaking the f--- out, and shaking. other turns towards me, eyes widen as she recognizes me. ust grin. ats suddenly throws the steaming popcorn at me, and lunges on me. m getting wailed on by a Retard security suddenly comes and yanks him off Spot one Security Guard that looks familiar. H--------, it's Ray. Police are called, because I'm bleeding. nymous (ID: z0uj2GEb) 03/01/12(Thu)17:15:38 No.384390502 1330640138.jpg-(117 KB, 500x282, doctorwhoeot2_9.jpg) The Final Story of Fats and his Retard Three >I press charges, his Mother rages and says I provoked him. >Teachers from school testify that Fats was always incredibly agressive and rage- filled Every, Incident. He ever. Caused. is brought into it. Dogres Assault, and is given 9 months in Jail + a 5,000 dollar fine.

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No exceptions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be American president >get shot 08/18/23(Fri)07:45:50 No.188870812 Close 08/18/23(Fri)07:47:13 No.188870847 : Anonymous >be American president >get shot >die >military shoots guns at your funeral : Anonymous >>188870812 (OP) # >be American president >get shot >by the American military 08/18/23(Fri)07:47:49 No.188870861

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Anon makes a connection | /r/Greentext

>In the 1920's, we took children out of the coal mines >In the 2020's, the most popular game is minecraft the children yearn for the mines

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Anon questions appeals | /r/Greentext

>commits the worst terrorist attack in the united states since 9/11 >succesfully appeals death penalty for life imprisonment When and how did America become so weak? And before you say "life imprisonment is worse than death penalty", That's obviously utter b-------. Otherwise why would death row inmates keep appealing their sentences? 155 KB JPG

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Anon fails to comprehend Buddha | /r/Greentext

File: 1669573755519485.jpg (9 KB, 250x187) ■ Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)14:51:13 No.35630012 >"Hey, uhh, Buddha, what do you want on your pizza?" >"If you have to ask... then you don't know." >>35630111 >>35630146 >>35630410 >>35630830 >>35630874 >>35631206 >>35631567 >>35634529 >>35638233 >>35638355 >Buddha then shot a random guy in the face, just shot him in the f------ face and killed him, he's dead now, h-------- >The student was enlightened instantly Why are all buddhist stories like this? Are you supposed to actually be getting something from this or are they just trying to f--- with white people? Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)14:53:20 No.35630037 ► Eastern abrahamist psyop Anonymous 08/17/23(Thu)14:59:40 No.35630111 ► >>35630191 >>35630012 (OP) >make up imaginary story >get angry at it try again

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anon hates women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/23(Fri)19:01:28 No.74430435 imagine just living a life being this pretty every time i open any social media i just get plastered by self posts of attractive young women and all i can think of is how much i wish i could be the pretty one for once, even if just a day i cant take this s--- anymore i already have the rope ready but this bitch on my tt fyp page is my final push hope my next life favours me much more than being an ugly incel failure 1.49 MB PNG

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Anon needs therapy and maybe a break from the rick and morty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/23(Fri)04:18:59 No.29592522 What people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on science. c6d54e42583c135c537011f5fd33ac6aa5ff5bd9_hq.jpg 39 KB JPG Most incels should realize their desire for copullation stems from simple biological processes, and that there are much more important things to do. I'm a virgin incel and I started investing myself completely in programming, it's so much more fulfilling than trying to appeal to people. Love isn't real.

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Anon likes penguins. | /r/Greentext

5h (8/17 21:31) 4595123 3 Re. 1 Img JPG 50KB (565 × 484). 09bf24cd9f1eeedd0a3b83fb9438e39f.jpg 1 Reply Penguins are awesome >adults look like they wear tuxedos. chicks are super cute >both parents take care of the chick, risk their lives and travel great distances just to feed them >when parents arent around chicks hang out in the colony nursery >survive in the harshest environment on the planet by huddling with others I love penguins 5h (8/17 21:34). 4595125 2 Replies >>4595123 (OP) you forgot >s--- so excessively that the snow around your colony melts >s--- all over each other as well

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Better times. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB PNG 8/18/2023, 8:26:17 AM No.38208544 > Be me > In middle school in 2014 > Have the same teacher for the last two periods > He is cool and lets us play on the computers on fridays > Me and my friends downloaded Roblox onto the school computeres > Have LAN parties on Roblox every friday playing disaster survival > goodtimes.jpg > Am an adult now with a job and bills to pay > Decide to log in to Roblox and see my old account > All my old friends have been offline for 8+ years > Take me back

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Greentext Stories - Anon tries gun maxing | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous Gun-maxing 08/18/23(Fri)21:21:54 No.74435408 66 KB JPG >go to range to try out some handguns before buying >every website is filled with advertisements for training women in shooting firearms >soccer moms were literally shooting there as I bought ammo >my gf has been mentioned wanting to get a gun as soon as she is 21 >the staff and competition is mostly retired police officers >actual chads do show up but not as often >take a concealed carry class >instructor literally says a woman can always shoot a person without getting arrested because they will be seen as defenseless even if to other guy is unarmed >guys just be careful of who and where you shoot >and always call a lawyer especially if you did nothing >no wonder women enjoy this Guys I think I found a hobby that can get you women

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