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Greentext Stories

85 Views • Created 8 months ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 8 months ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated 8 months ago

Anon has no p---- | /r/Greentext

> Be me > 18 year old loner in HS > Have best friend > He's a fruit Despite this, really nice guy > Spend all my HS gf less. > Crush literally laughs in my face when I ask her out on a date > Friend always there for me > Always doing cool stuff with him > Spending night at his house one night > Talking about girl's and other stuff > Mention that I'm 99% sure I'm gonna die alone > "Neither of us are gonna get any girl as school anon. Hopefully things change once we hit college right?" > He likes girls, sure "If you and me are single later on we could just get married for tax banifts" > He laughs and we move on > 8 years later > Out of college, s----- job, never even touched a boob > Lost touch with friend, but still talk once in a blue moon. > Drunk one night, look him up > He came out, not surprising > He has a great job now, owns a house, and a business, all at the age of 26, still single. > Message him, he responds almost instantly > We talk, decide to catch up > He jokes about the tax thing, says if I'm ever desperate we can still do it > Jokingly ask him "on a coffee date" > We're meeting up tomorrow Well guys, the hetero life was miserable. Gonna go get my tax benefit husband tomorrow.
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    Anonymous short kings unite..? 131 KB PNG 06/27/24(Thu)07:46:31 No.77970128 >be me, married >wife's entire family is short, her dad is the tallest at around 5'6" >her dad is also the tallest of his siblings/parents >she has a 11 year old brother that we babysit occasionally >kid is really short, even for his age >3'10" last we measured >kid talks CONSTANTLY about how he can't wait to get taller, asks me how to get taller, how to tell when his growth spurt happens >once directly asked me if my wife likes me because i'm tall >obviously tell him that how a guy acts/who he is is more important than what he looks like >don't have the heart to tell him that most girls do prefer tall guys >don't have the heart to tell him that he'll likely never be taller than 5'6" no matter what he does i feel like i'm watching him develop a complex in real time. take care of him once he ends up here venting about women please
    Anonymous short kings unite..? 131 KB PNG 06/27/24(Thu)07:46:31 No.77970128 >be me, married >wife's entire family is short, her dad is the tallest at around 5'6" >her dad is also the tallest of his siblings/parents >she has a 11 year old brother that we babysit occasionally >kid is really short, even for his age >3'10" last we measured >kid talks CONSTANTLY about how he can't wait to get taller, asks me how to get taller, how to tell when his growth spurt happens >once directly asked me if my wife likes me because i'm tall >obviously tell him that how a guy acts/who he is is more important than what he looks like >don't have the heart to tell him that most girls do prefer tall guys >don't have the heart to tell him that he'll likely never be taller than 5'6" no matter what he does i feel like i'm watching him develop a complex in real time. take care of him once he ends up here venting about women please
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    File: Sauron-Ring-Lord-of-the-Rings.jpg (195 KB, 1200x676) Anonymous 10/28/23(Sat)22:44:56 No.191495492 >>191495647 >>191495764 >>191495822 >>191495879 >>191495896 >>191495973 >>191496533 >>191497122 >>191497963 >>191497969 >>191498250 >>191498402 >>191499029 >>191499177 >>191499481 >>191500904 >>191501875 >>191504061 >starts out with the ring >gets beaten ezpz >5000+ years later >"If he gets the ring he'll be unstoppable" ???
    File: Sauron-Ring-Lord-of-the-Rings.jpg (195 KB, 1200x676) Anonymous 10/28/23(Sat)22:44:56 No.191495492 >>191495647 >>191495764 >>191495822 >>191495879 >>191495896 >>191495973 >>191496533 >>191497122 >>191497963 >>191497969 >>191498250 >>191498402 >>191499029 >>191499177 >>191499481 >>191500904 >>191501875 >>191504061 >starts out with the ring >gets beaten ezpz >5000+ years later >"If he gets the ring he'll be unstoppable" ???
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    : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens
    : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens
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    File: Ahegao 1280x720.jpg (204 KB, 1280×720) >ahegao video shows up Sister thinks doing the ahegao face is just funny A cutie 06/26/24(Wed)08:53:24 No.920439052 >>920439160 >>920439183 >>920439258 >>920439290 >>920439308 >>920440186 >>920440480 >>920440794 >>920441099 >>920445229 >>920445802 >>920448389 >>920451726 >>920459509 >>920466115 >>920486714 >>920487193 >be me >watching reels with sister >"lol I don't understand why you guys like this face so much" >sister does the face >"Eww don't!" > act disgusted and annoyed >It's funny >We laugh >Oh no >Tomfoolery enters sisters mushy brain >Does the face again the next day to tease me >Turns into a recurrent joke >Oh no >She "pranks" me sending me stuff like 'look at this new mirror I bought!' >Video ends with her doing the face in the mirror >Drooling and everything, she's commited to the bit >Be me, no female contact, otaku >Be my sister, super cute goth-ish tiktok teen >Sister doesn't know i'm kind of a gooner >Still not as easy to see your sister in a sexy way as it seems in p--- >Still kinda hot >Still kinda sad this is the hottest thing that has happened to me
    File: Ahegao 1280x720.jpg (204 KB, 1280×720) >ahegao video shows up Sister thinks doing the ahegao face is just funny A cutie 06/26/24(Wed)08:53:24 No.920439052 >>920439160 >>920439183 >>920439258 >>920439290 >>920439308 >>920440186 >>920440480 >>920440794 >>920441099 >>920445229 >>920445802 >>920448389 >>920451726 >>920459509 >>920466115 >>920486714 >>920487193 >be me >watching reels with sister >"lol I don't understand why you guys like this face so much" >sister does the face >"Eww don't!" > act disgusted and annoyed >It's funny >We laugh >Oh no >Tomfoolery enters sisters mushy brain >Does the face again the next day to tease me >Turns into a recurrent joke >Oh no >She "pranks" me sending me stuff like 'look at this new mirror I bought!' >Video ends with her doing the face in the mirror >Drooling and everything, she's commited to the bit >Be me, no female contact, otaku >Be my sister, super cute goth-ish tiktok teen >Sister doesn't know i'm kind of a gooner >Still not as easy to see your sister in a sexy way as it seems in p--- >Still kinda hot >Still kinda sad this is the hottest thing that has happened to me
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    JIM CAVIEZEL SOUND OF FREEDOM JULY 4 Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:05:33 No.200392684 >>200394255 >>200394281 >>200394317 >>200394389 >>200394525 >drug dealing and drug trafficking gets millions of movies and tv shows >human and child trafficking and organ dealing gets 1 movie, barely known why is this Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:06:21 No.200392696 >>200392684 (OP). jews Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)15:06:46 No.200392709 >>200392684 (OP) >>200392696 >>200392709 >>200392717 >>200392723 >>2003927 >>200394171 >>200394255 >>200394526 Remember when leftoids boycotted this movie hard and acted like it was a personal attack against them? I wonder why.
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    ⠀ Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue)06:52:09 No.250341473 >fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures >still using horses as main transportation 86 KB PNG ⠀ Anonymous >>250341473 (OP) # 03/21/23(Tue)06:56:27 No.250341651 >setting has nuclear energy >still using coal as main energy source >>250341784 # >>250343657 # >>250344673 # >>250346290 #
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    Anonymous (ID: WHUEFS/6) 06/21/24(Fri)14:52:37 No.471768635 Subscribe Dexerto⭑ @Dexerto Streamer Dantes leaves girlfriend to focus on League of Legends five months after she got his name tattooed on her chest Dantes Or9184b4lv7d1.jpg 76 KB JPG >get girlfriend >she tattoos your name on her body >leave to play LoL >refuse to elaborate
    Anonymous (ID: WHUEFS/6) 06/21/24(Fri)14:52:37 No.471768635 Subscribe Dexerto⭑ @Dexerto Streamer Dantes leaves girlfriend to focus on League of Legends five months after she got his name tattooed on her chest Dantes Or9184b4lv7d1.jpg 76 KB JPG >get girlfriend >she tattoos your name on her body >leave to play LoL >refuse to elaborate
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    Anonymous 138 KB PNG the house How the f--- are you guys still virgins, legit once you know the steps and stick to it it's easy. >Start working out >Groom self, nice haircut, well trimmed beard. >Start a hobby which gets you out >Talk to women outside your family >Make actual female friends >Take pride in achievements and self image >Start going out to bars >Talk to strangers >Get drunk and hire an escort It's literally that easy
    Anonymous 138 KB PNG the house How the f--- are you guys still virgins, legit once you know the steps and stick to it it's easy. >Start working out >Groom self, nice haircut, well trimmed beard. >Start a hobby which gets you out >Talk to women outside your family >Make actual female friends >Take pride in achievements and self image >Start going out to bars >Talk to strangers >Get drunk and hire an escort It's literally that easy
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    >install Grindr >see dad >uninstall Grindr
    >install Grindr >see dad >uninstall Grindr
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    • 2h (06/26/24 16:02) 77964632 6 Re 2 Img . JPG 39KB (500x500) IMG_1878.jpg 2 Replies >baked potatoes with cheese melted on top Cheap and simple, just how i like it >coat potatoes in olive oil >sprinkle some salt on them >bake them >cut in half horizontally when done >put cheese on open faces >voila What are my fellow robots eating tonight?
    • 2h (06/26/24 16:02) 77964632 6 Re 2 Img . JPG 39KB (500x500) IMG_1878.jpg 2 Replies >baked potatoes with cheese melted on top Cheap and simple, just how i like it >coat potatoes in olive oil >sprinkle some salt on them >bake them >cut in half horizontally when done >put cheese on open faces >voila What are my fellow robots eating tonight?
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    File: IMG_0050.jpg (24 KB, 612x405) Did I hear the voice of god or was it the induced psychosis? Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)06:35:12 No.31493541 >>31493568 >>31493861 >>31494250 >>31494322 >>31495015 >>31496789 >>31498524 >>31498560 >>31498629 >>31498730 >>31499519 >>31503278 >>31504286 >>31507163 >>31508773 >Be Agnostic raised Christian >abstain from weed for 2 months >Sis asks if I want a hit; cave in >Lay on the couch feel high stronger than ever, later learn I was "greened out" >Feel unbearable sense of dread and anxiety like I am being judged >Hear 'I am jehova' in a sort of Michael bay bumblebee-like way, a mixture of different voices speaking words to make one continuous sentence >Realize how my family has become godless over the years >Go to my parents room as anxiety gets worse >Feels like my consciousness is being r---- and I only feel the words 'god is real' >Greenout peaks and every time my mind thinks "what if this is fake", my mind is slapped and shouts "this is real" >Exit peak and suddenly feel peace and I am in the post-rapture and that my dad was my god in the room >Tear up and hug him to say I am sorry for the way I lived my life. Dad is nervous >Realize that my dad isn't god and start feeling like we are about to die in a nuclear fire within minutes >Get an unescapable feeling that I have to physically touch everyone else in the house or they are all going to die and go to hell >Dad holds me down when I try to force my way to my showering mom to get her to touch my hand >Mind permeates 'you will never know if this was real or not' >Mind is fuzzy and go to bed Anyone have similar experiences? Does this sound like a usual message from god? Could it be demonic? I didn't know how to process that experience but it's been months and I don't want to try getting it again, but at the same time I don't want to let it haunt me, unsure if it was real, a drug-induced experienxe, or demonic. Why would a demon want to convince me that god is real and warn me about hell? But then again, why would I see my dad as god and feel the need to touch everyone?
    File: IMG_0050.jpg (24 KB, 612x405) Did I hear the voice of god or was it the induced psychosis? Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)06:35:12 No.31493541 >>31493568 >>31493861 >>31494250 >>31494322 >>31495015 >>31496789 >>31498524 >>31498560 >>31498629 >>31498730 >>31499519 >>31503278 >>31504286 >>31507163 >>31508773 >Be Agnostic raised Christian >abstain from weed for 2 months >Sis asks if I want a hit; cave in >Lay on the couch feel high stronger than ever, later learn I was "greened out" >Feel unbearable sense of dread and anxiety like I am being judged >Hear 'I am jehova' in a sort of Michael bay bumblebee-like way, a mixture of different voices speaking words to make one continuous sentence >Realize how my family has become godless over the years >Go to my parents room as anxiety gets worse >Feels like my consciousness is being r---- and I only feel the words 'god is real' >Greenout peaks and every time my mind thinks "what if this is fake", my mind is slapped and shouts "this is real" >Exit peak and suddenly feel peace and I am in the post-rapture and that my dad was my god in the room >Tear up and hug him to say I am sorry for the way I lived my life. Dad is nervous >Realize that my dad isn't god and start feeling like we are about to die in a nuclear fire within minutes >Get an unescapable feeling that I have to physically touch everyone else in the house or they are all going to die and go to hell >Dad holds me down when I try to force my way to my showering mom to get her to touch my hand >Mind permeates 'you will never know if this was real or not' >Mind is fuzzy and go to bed Anyone have similar experiences? Does this sound like a usual message from god? Could it be demonic? I didn't know how to process that experience but it's been months and I don't want to try getting it again, but at the same time I don't want to let it haunt me, unsure if it was real, a drug-induced experienxe, or demonic. Why would a demon want to convince me that god is real and warn me about hell? But then again, why would I see my dad as god and feel the need to touch everyone?
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    Anonymous 571 KB GIF knee cap > It's a prank bro >Uno reverse 06/26/24(Wed)19:26:46 No.920469694 >be me >Out walking through the mall, get punched in the face by a tiktoker filming content >I freak the f--- out >He repeats "it's a prank bro" >Take out phone, start recording, shoot him in the
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    A : A Why are people refusing to grow up? Why are people refusing to gro(...) WHEN WILL YOU STOP MESSING AROUND AND GET A JOB? 06/19/24(Wed) 07:54:35 No.471563624 STONETOSS.COM IMG_1966.png 194 KB PNG >grown men are playing video games, watching cartoons, and buying toys instead of getting jobs, moving out, and starting families. >grown women are doing dumb tiktok dances and acting like teenagers over celebrities instead of finding a husband and rearing kids. This has got to be the most infantile generation yet. People are obsessed with forever being children and hate any sort of responsibility and accountability. What went wrong? The internet?
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