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82 Views Created 7 months ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 7 months ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated 7 months ago

11/05/23 (Sun)08:44:44 No.75303862 >Be me >Coffee enthusiast >Wake up at a friend's place because he let me stay for a few days >Offers me coffee, I accept it >First mistake I notice is that Top Gear is playing in the living room as he grabs the coffee (As we all know, playing loud noises such as car engines, around coffee beans might throw off the chakra of the coffee beans and subsequent taste, but hey, its a rookie mistake I commit sometimes.) : Anonymous 851 KB PNG >He prefers to buy whole beans and grind them himself (thank god) >He immediately pours the beans into a grinder instead of putting them through a Gloobytron 2800 series (No excuse for this one, its a rather low end model only starting at $58,000) >Its a hand powered grinder and his mistakes continue when he grinds at a somewhat constant speed of 30rpm instead of 31.2rpm, which will ruin the consistency of the coffee grounds >As he finishes grounding the coffee he pulls out a Bialetti Moka pot, I can immediately tell it was made on September 3rd, 2017 (The date of the first North Korean nuclear test) which might've effected the forgery process of the metals involved and negatively effecting the harmonic ionization caffeglution molecules of the coffee >Final straw is broken when I notice his gas stove, his gas provider is PG&E which provide a gas that provides a BTU 0.00087 smaller than what is required to brew the perfect pot of coffee (which is why I'm Southern California Edison fanboy) >Pull out my gun and shoot my retarded troglodyte of a friend for even fathoming serving me this steaming hot cup of liquid dogshit, he dies instantly
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