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28 KB WEBP > be me > live alone in my s----- apartment > power goes out one night > bored as f--- but not gonna read a book like some f----- nerd > fall asleep watching TERMINATOR 2 on my phone instead > have crazy dreams about Terminator > wake up to dead phone, still no power > can't stop thinking about how T2 is the only good one > think about if instead of T3 they went further back into the past. Like T3 in WW2 or Vietnam or something > power still out, can't contain myself anymore > strip my clothes off, crouch into TERMINATOR position > sing the drum-theme as I slowly rise to my feet > Scanning environment > it's 1776, The American Revolutionary War is in full-swing. > We are losing > I've been sent back in time to ensure the colonists' victory against The British Empire > Go up to some village drunkard > "Give me your clothes." > He is confused, drunk and afraid. he has never seen a cybernetic organism before > don his colonial dress pants, jacket > Learn that George Washington is held captive by British forces, break into a stronghold to save him > It's a giant battle, I'm a one-man wrecking crew > British fight to stop me, but I'm a machine and their musket fire is useless > Their line breaks, they panic at the "unstoppable machine-man" > Find George. "Are you here to kill me?" > "No, you must live." > I got machine guns because thats totally badass > Rip up the British forces with my advanced weaponry. They're brave fools but fools nonetheless > suddenly doorbell rings. I got a delivery. > MFW I realize I've been walking around my apt naked for like 2 hours making gun and drum sounds with my mouth > MFW I've single-handedly won the war

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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What's the difference? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 81 KB JPG 02/29/24(Thu)21:44:12 No.914667982 >be exchange student >study in the us >locals thinks you're autistic >you're actually just german

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I feel bad for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Women decided who gets to be i(...) 02/29/24(Thu)20:39:59 No.76626655 >be me >actively attending a church group for a little over a year URHGAAUGH!!!! >testimony night and girl (we will call her Liz for the sake of 399 KB JPG this thread) was there >I gave a testimony about my dad having cancer >nothing came from it >months later a new guy comes (we will call him Sam) and its testimony night >Liz is there >New guy Sam gives a testimony about his dad having cancer (almost the exact same testimony I shared before) >immediately right after that night Liz reaches out to Sam in DMs and tells him his testimony was powerful and that she really related to it >Liz invites Sam for coffee and they immediately became an official bf gf couple shortly after >Sam made no moves or conscious effort to make this happen. Sam went along with all of Lizs advances. Liz is solely the one who made the relationship happen Is there a lesson here to be learned? This whole this is crazy to me and makes me feel like crap. 02/29/24(Thu)20:42:39 No.76626675 : Anonymous >>76626655 (OP) # >woman is attracted to man who isn't OP >t------incel OP seethes and complains like a bitch Maybe she didn't like you because you got a whiny bitchy personality.

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Built for BRC | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 448 KB JPG 02/29/24(Thu)05:30:47 No.668590610 >40 years old >looks like this >wears extremely skimpy clothes >personality that gives off a very promiscuous vibe >somehow canonically a virgin How is this possible? 02/29/24(Thu)05:31:50 No.668590698 Anonymous >>668590610 (OP) # She looks like she f---- reptilian men >>668592304 # >>668593321 # >>668593783 # >>668615816 # >>668622356 # >>668628852 # >>668639691 # >>668639727 #

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What did Oda mean by this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ょう !! b fr W...... 久しぶり地上か･･･ちじょうひさ 00 02/27/24(Tue)08:02:34 No.37320176 The "N Cac د و در دل دار せかいせいふざいこうけん!! 世界政府最高權 33 y しかがくぼうご五老星、科学防衛武神 22 Taiwan Al 1682850423662412.png 1.4 MB PNG M >The entire world actually is controlled by a small group of elites which are given power by "history" to do whatever they want over the rest of of the global population >This last part includes, for example: genocides for the sake of them, erasing entire places off world maps or simply assassinating inconvenient political figures who dare to question their authorities >The governor elites also respond to an even higher authority who is hidden from the rest of the world in order to mantain a false sense of democracy between the different reigns of the globe >These elites don't appear to be human at all, in fact they seem to have demonic appearances Anyway, do you guys like One Piece? с

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Close Air Support | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/24(Sun)12:24:22 No.76346695 MAKRAM GREATA bv04.jpg 82 KB JPG >mom tells me my entire life that we had Native American blood >the school system tells me everyone has African genes >take DNA test >Majority Northern European >the rest Scottish >some Welsh >in other words, 100% European Why lie? Where do these lies come from? How do they start?

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Suffer like the rest of us Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1011 KB GIF 02/29/24(Thu)16:37:19 No.76624756 9 Replies >30 >can't move out of living with mom >rental crisis has made it virtually impossible to find own place >"share houses" have job interview type things designed to sniff out autists it's f------ over. I'm trapped in this womb until she dies and then i'll kill myself View Thread

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Anon can't get a gf | /r/Greentext

I did everything women told me to : And I did everything women told me(...) 169 KB JPG 02/24/24(Sat) 19:41:20 No.76569843 balding yet) >do this for 4 years, every day, as if I'm meeting the one today >in those 4 years not a single girl has expressed interest in me >not a single girl "friend" has "saw me that way" if I expressed interest. : Anonymous >be 18 >go to college >shower daily >have a skin care routine >brush and floss my teeth religiously >always wear clean and fitting clothes >get a haircut every 3 weeks (not >when I would hangout with girls at college and try to escalate they'd recoil 3.43 MB WEBM 02/24/24(Sat) 19:58:40 No.76570000 >>76569843 (OP) # looks like its time to SEAmaxx bro

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Anon is critiquing nostalgically. | /r/Greentext

imgflip.com Duug Waker here Anonymous 02/28/24(Wed)23:44:31 No.914635023 ► >Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to! >Let's talk about Aaron Bushnell's suicide video. >In the world of gore, it can be quite difficult to get your video noticed. >Between the Mexican cartels and Chinese industrial accidents, first-world people are often left under-represented. >Which is why I'm here to talk about Aaron Bushnell! >His immaculate self-immolation took the internet by a firestrom when he decided to roast himself so hard nothing the internet says or does could hurt him anymore. >This man had the foresight to record his suicide in such a manner that it could be enjoyed by generations gore fans to come. >I have no doubt this will be counted among the classics like Ronnie McNutt and Funky Town sooner rather than later. >I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and may no one roast you as hard as Aaron Bushnell was!

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Anon watched too much Shogun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 209 KB JPG 02/29/24(Thu)09:22:37 No.20253234 Least psychotic meal in feudal Japan >the Shogun sends you a message saying he will eat with you >he arrives the next month with 50 servants and retainers >first round of drinks is three bowls of sake >second round of drinks is three bowls of sake >third round of drinks is three bowls of sake >you haven't eaten anything yet >pass around dried chestnuts and abalone >you aren't allowed to eat them >you have to pretend to eat them and just put it in your pocket when no one is looking >you can eat some chilled barley noodles >banquet begins >you get three trays of food >you aren't allowed to touch it until the shogun does >eat rice first. eat some soup. then eat rice. then eat soup. >now you are allowed to eat the food >just kidding >there's a taxidermied bird full of roast meat. you can't eat it >there a bunch of abalone decorated with beautiful paper. you can't eat that either >there are 32 dishes of beautiful and elaborately prepared food which you are not allowed to eat >you can eat the soup and the pickled vegetables and maybe some raw fish >you have to pay for all this >you are broke >the Shogun takes your land and levies a 3000% tax on your city >mfw

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seething anon rages at atheists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: hnjwOFID) I 914 KB JPG 02/29/24(Thu)09:40:04 No.19695796 atheist tiny white p----- cuckold when bad thing happen: NOT THE >WAAAAAA^^^^^^^^AAAH!!!!!!! WHY DID GOD LET THAT HECKIN HAPPEN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! HECKIN CHILDRENERINO WHY DID GOD KILL THEM???WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! NOT MY HECKIN TOEY-INO WHY DID GOD MAKE ME STUB MY TOEY-INO??? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! WHY DID GOD TAKE MY MOMMYRINO AWAY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! WHY DOES GOD LE LET GENOCIDES AND LE MASS MURDERS HAPPEN || WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

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Thank you Duug, very cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Duug Waker here 02/29/24(Thu)04:44:31 No.914635023 67 KB JPG >Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to! >Let's talk about Aaron Bushnell's suicide video. >In the world of gore, it can be quite difficult to get your video noticed. >Between the Mexican cartels and Chinese industrial accidents, first-world people are often left under-represented. >Which is why I'm here to talk about Aaron Bushnell! >His immaculate self-immolation took the internet by a firestrom when he decided to roast himself so hard nothing the internet says or does could hurt him anymore. >This man had the foresight to record his suicide in such a manner that it could be enjoyed by generations gore fans to come. >I have no doubt this will be counted among the classics like Ronnie McNutt and Funky Town sooner rather than later. >I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and may no one roast you as hard as Aaron Bushnell was!

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Anon couldnt get a refund, decided to do this instead | /r/Greentext

Alright 4chin time for a real story >be on long road trip >15 passenger van >all iphones >everyone >be only one with android 157 KB GIF >everyone's batteries dying >all iphones die first >my phone finally falls >hear voice say "Having an android isn't so great anymore is it" >don't even say anything back >pull out wallet >wallet has spare battery >change battery in front of everyone on f----- bus >theirfaceswhen.gif >f--- around on phone rest of trip >apple f------ asking to use superior device >deny everyone >finally arrive at destination >everyone whipping out chargers >sit there with smirk and 73% battery >everyone butthurt and won't talk to me And that's how I lost all my friends

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Greentext Stories - Anon is Terminated | /r/Greentext

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28 KB WEBP > be me > live alone in my s----- apartment > power goes out one night > bored as f--- but not gonna read a book like some f----- nerd > fall asleep watching TERMINATOR 2 on my phone instead > have crazy dreams about Terminator > wake up to dead phone, still no power > can't stop thinking about how T2 is the only good one > think about if instead of T3 they went further back into the past. Like T3 in WW2 or Vietnam or something > power still out, can't contain myself anymore > strip my clothes off, crouch into TERMINATOR position > sing the drum-theme as I slowly rise to my feet > Scanning environment > it's 1776, The American Revolutionary War is in full-swing. > We are losing > I've been sent back in time to ensure the colonists' victory against The British Empire > Go up to some village drunkard > "Give me your clothes." > He is confused, drunk and afraid. he has never seen a cybernetic organism before > don his colonial dress pants, jacket > Learn that George Washington is held captive by British forces, break into a stronghold to save him > It's a giant battle, I'm a one-man wrecking crew > British fight to stop me, but I'm a machine and their musket fire is useless > Their line breaks, they panic at the "unstoppable machine-man" > Find George. "Are you here to kill me?" > "No, you must live." > I got machine guns because thats totally badass > Rip up the British forces with my advanced weaponry. They're brave fools but fools nonetheless > suddenly doorbell rings. I got a delivery. > MFW I realize I've been walking around my apt naked for like 2 hours making gun and drum sounds with my mouth > MFW I've single-handedly won the war

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