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: Anonymous Memories that will never leave(...) 03/20/24(Wed)15:53:07 No.76846082 >In highschool during lunch I was in the JUST KILL cafeteria. ME NOW. 248 KB PNG >my friend egged me on to do the whistler. >It was a fart I could rip that lasted a long time that I could elongate with the careful flutter of my buttcheeks. >I told the boys in my proximity to listen close and I ASSumed the position >Slowly, the fart seeped from my anus and it whistled as it did, my practiced buttcheek fluctuations maintaining the soft whimper whisper fluctuation. >Something went wrong though, an errant undulation on my part spurred an eruption of foul fecal matter down the inside of my asscheek that curled its way down the perimeter of my underpants and dared snake free of my undies. >The sound unmistakably was me s------- my pants. The boisterous blubbering blast bubbled from my anus and sounded like a trumping desperately trying to blow its way free of a mud puddle. >A panic-stricken look was locked to my face, the disbelief clear in my expression. >The thought bounced in my head "Had I just s--- my pants in front of my friends and everyone else in the cafeteria?" >As if beckoned by my frozen disposition, a passing teacher, Miss Sherry, gently placed her hand on my shoulder and said to me, "You should probably go to the bathroom." before departing to the teacher's lunch table. >Cupping my hands around the base of s----laden drawers to ensure no evidence of my misdeed crawled down my pants leg, I scampered to the toilet and relieved myself properly before excusing myself for the afternoon. >"You should probably go to the bathroom." >"You should probably go to the bathroom." >"You should probably go to the bathroom." >"You should probably go to the bathroom." Those words are burned into my mind to this day.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Juggernaut | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/11/24(Sun) 21:57:45 No.76425526 pig-young-closeup_3x4.jpg 637 KB JPG >senior year of high school, 2019 >in photography class working on s--- in photoshop >open up a can of dr pepper and put a straw in it >can hear girls behind me giggling what the f--- is wrong with people? yes i'm still p----- off about this.

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Anon's hookup experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: jyOmKq82 why are women like this? 734 KB PNG 03/03/24(Sun)12:13:36 No.460543965 >go to club >see girl eyeing me >approach her >we dance and drink and end up going back to her hotel room >we get into bed >she tells me I can take my clothes off (in a non-sexual way imo) >I do >we cuddle and go to sleep >she ghosts me the next day Was the sex supposed to happen then? I didn't get any indicators she wanted to f---. We didn't even kiss much. we made out for a bit at the club but she pulled away after a few seconds each time. We were both drunk and very tired when we got to her hotel. It didn't seem like she wanted to f---. I wanted to meet her then next day and have sex then but like I said she ghosted. Anonymous (ID: jyOmKq82) 03/03/24(Sun)12:14:04 No.460543989 >>460543965 (OP) # >pic related is a box of tampons that was in her hotel bathroom to remind myself that this actually happened

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Anon is horny | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 33 KB JPG your poohole. 07/03/22(Sun)01:08:01 No.26579355 >homophobic >jerks to gay p--- What the f--- is wrong with me? I honestly wouldn't be repulsed by homosexuality if it didn't include shoving your d--- in someone's poohole, or taking someone's d--- in But gay p--- is so hot. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I weren't horny all the time. 2 Replies Anonymous View Thread 07/03/22(Sun)01:09:09 No.26579365 >>26579355 (OP) # Idk Anonymous 07/03/22(Sun)01:26:32 No.26579527 >>26579355 (OP) # you don't have to do a---. most f--- don't do a---. analism and it's consequences has been a disaster for f---.

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Anon and quantum computers | /r/Greentext

File: builderman.png (212 KB, 640x438) ☐ Anonymous 03/19/24(Tue)14:44:19 No.76833408 >try to upgrade my quantum computer >accidentally observe the CPU >bricked 000

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Just Pretend I'm ok | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous return to neet ▼ Settings Mobile Home 03/19/24(Tue)20:40:34 No.76842451 they should put cocaine back in coca cola >be me, a year ago 423 KB JPG >no friends at all except guy from highschool who just wanted to f--- >failing classes, not even going in >in bed for weeks on end lurking >happiest ive been >decide to change my lifestyle, who knows why >have a good plan ahead, uni and a cool place to live and start getting out more >start a longterm relationship >start getting good grades >start making friends with people in course >wageslave now im the most depressed and stressed i've ever been. what the f--- im tempted to go back to how i was a year ago, what do we think anons?

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If I Could Turn Back Time | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Did I f--- up? 106 KB JPG minor >be 21 year old ▼ Settings Mobile Home 03/19/24(Tue)18:10:19 No.76841010 >friend group out of nowhere brings these two new girls in the mix >one of them is 16 years old >doesn't tell us this until a month or two later >a short while after, one of my friends tells me she told her friends that she likes me and that she's going to ask me out >obviously, there's an age gap here and she's a >I say what the f--- and go out with her, strictly with platonic intentions >hit it off and this girl is really fun and interesting >she likes the same band/rapper I do and we talk for hours as we took long walks >a few weeks after, she comes out and tells me she likes me, doesn't care about the age gap >I push her away, afraid of the societal implications and potentially dealing with an immature girl who's latching onto me as her first major crush >regret it immensely and think about it every waking moment for the past 7 years >we drifted apart after that but I still know her Instagram I know that the gap isn't that massive but I was scared that her father or brother were going to beat me up or something or she could have screamed r--- if she got the slighest bit angry at me. Did I f--- up or dodged a bullet?

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Can't Buy me Tendies | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 03/19/24(Tue)21:05:20 No.76842659 45 KB JPG >Be me last night >Been working the same telephone service slave job for 8 years >Gone to the kitchen for my glass of milk >Go sit in dining room to drink it >See a savings statement from royal london on the table addressed to my mum >Decide to take a peek, see what riches will come when she finally croaks >Only 3k in there >This bitch left scraps for me that will be worth nothing when she drops dead >mfw i found out that im gonna lose my entire livelihood when she dies.

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What's their end goal? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "Next Step in Human Evolution"(...) 03/20/24(Wed) 06:47:43 No.670728881 Baldies.jpg 460 KB JPG >"Humanity need to evolve!" >Turns into a ugly bald brawler with anger issues Why are this so common?

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Anons are tired and afraid of women | /r/Greentext

Comedian Hitoshi Matsumoto sues publisher over sexual assault article Matsumotover Anonymous 03/17/24(Sun)05:26:06 No.197322737 >>197322754 >>197322937 >>197323048 >>197323198 >>197323461 >In December 2023, two women made allegations in an article published in the weekly magazine Shukan Bunshun that Matsumoto had sexually assaulted them in 2015 and in response his talent agency strongly denied, saying that there "no facts whatsoever" to the allegations.[20] Matsumoto himself responded saying "I'll fight because (the allegations) are totally groundless," however he subsequently paused his comedic and hosting performances.[21] In January 2024, Matusmoto sued Bungei Shunju which is the publisher of the magazine Shukan Bunshun alleging that it had engaged in defamation by publishing the story and was seeking damages of ¥550 million.[22] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitoshi_Matsumoto#Legal_issues Matsumoto bros... it's over. >> Anonymous 03/17/24(Sun)05:27:15 No.197322754 >>197322789 >>197322823 >>197323069 >> >>197322737 (OP). Women should be excluded from the entertainment industry entirely at this point Anonymous 03/17/24(Sun)05:29:03 No. 197322789 >>197322815 >>197322863 >>197322754 Seconding this What the f--- have women contributed to entertainment?

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If you guys ever become fathers, please remember to treat your kids with respect | /r/Greentext

File: stock-photo-young-aggress(...).jpg (1.37 MB, 1500x1102) utterstoc shotters P shutterstock ☐ I wish my dad was more charitable Anonymous 03/20/24(Wed)01:18:31 No.915607511 ► >be me >be 22 >Join the military as a professional soldier >However, I still live at home with my parents because professional soldiers in my country typically reside outside bases due to geographical reasons >A few days ago, after ending my weekend shift early, I decided to go for drinks with my best friend and his bandmates, cuz I hardly ever see them >Make a courtesy call to my parents so that they aren't alarmed for being home so late, and smelling like booze >Have a few glasses of schnapps and fruit brandy (really good ngl) >Enjoying the vibe of the jazz club with my best friend and his mates. Felt good to be socializing with people other than colleagues >Remembered that my best friend's buddy had nowhere to stay the night, so I called my mum if they were cool with him staying over >Mum is hesitant, but she relents >Call dad, dad says no and asking why I sound drunk (I'm not, I controlled myself because I needed to work tomorrow) >Dad say he's coming over, tells me to come down or else he'll make a scene in the club >I start to cry, telling him that I just wanted to destress and have fun with my best friend >I come down, dad is waiting for me downstairs to yell at my face. He tells me that I'm an ungrateful bastard cuz I make them worry. That I'm selfish for only thinking about myself and how I 'lied' to them. How I betrayed their trust cuz I told them I was going to have 1 beer, when instead I had -2 wine glasses >he rebutts, saying that I am immature and selfish again for thinking only about myself, and how I was destroying my career >he goes home first, tells me to find my way back myself >I calm myself down upstairs in the jazz club with my friends, until the jam session ends >Dad calls again, demanding I take a cab back home >I return home, dad tells me that he was testing me to see if I had any remorse or guilt after he left. Wanted to see if I would rush back home out of filial piety I hope to god that I won't gaslight my kids like how my dad did to me.

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Anon's gf doesn't want kids | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 88 KB PNG 03/19/24(Tue)14:12:51 No.76838878 >gf says she doesnt want kids in the future >i suggest i might donate my sperm then >shes vehemently against it curious

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Anon will always finish last | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/24(Tue)14:38:58 No.76836935 I suddenly hate everything about my boyfriend of 4 years. I'm torn on what to do. Advice Needed ⚫ throwaway_lemontree ⚫ 3 hours ago* • twohottakes • 75% upvoted Hi guys. This is going to hurt me to type but I could really use some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together since our freshman year of high school. We're now freshmen in college. We go to different schools but they're not too far apart so we visit each other every weekend or so. I'll just get right into it: I think I may genuinely hate him. And it's so f----- up because he's the sweetest, most helpful, most generous, just perfect boyfriend. He's never been anything but good to me these last 4 years. But lately, I've found myself disliking more and more things about him. The last time we hung out (this past weekend) everything he did p----- me off irrationally. The way he stood, the clothes he wore, how he walked, spoke, his hobbies. I started thinking he was too thin, too short, not hairy enough, not masculine enough. Just picking at every perceived flaw I didn't care about before. Yesterday I found myself checking out other guys and desiring them when I've never ever desired people like that. Looks never even mattered to me. But despite these awful feelings, the thought of leaving him breaks my heart. He's my person. It's been 4 years and we were with each other through so much. I don't understand how I can go from love to hate like this. Especially when the things I hate aren't even his fault. Please help. 268.png 207 KB PNG >do everything right >get a gf that loves you >pic related happens How are you supposed to prepare for this or counter it

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Greentext Stories - Anon does the whistler | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous Memories that will never leave(...) 03/20/24(Wed)15:53:07 No.76846082 >In highschool during lunch I was in the JUST KILL cafeteria. ME NOW. 248 KB PNG >my friend egged me on to do the whistler. >It was a fart I could rip that lasted a long time that I could elongate with the careful flutter of my buttcheeks. >I told the boys in my proximity to listen close and I ASSumed the position >Slowly, the fart seeped from my anus and it whistled as it did, my practiced buttcheek fluctuations maintaining the soft whimper whisper fluctuation. >Something went wrong though, an errant undulation on my part spurred an eruption of foul fecal matter down the inside of my asscheek that curled its way down the perimeter of my underpants and dared snake free of my undies. >The sound unmistakably was me s------- my pants. The boisterous blubbering blast bubbled from my anus and sounded like a trumping desperately trying to blow its way free of a mud puddle. >A panic-stricken look was locked to my face, the disbelief clear in my expression. >The thought bounced in my head "Had I just s--- my pants in front of my friends and everyone else in the cafeteria?" >As if beckoned by my frozen disposition, a passing teacher, Miss Sherry, gently placed her hand on my shoulder and said to me, "You should probably go to the bathroom." before departing to the teacher's lunch table. >Cupping my hands around the base of s----laden drawers to ensure no evidence of my misdeed crawled down my pants leg, I scampered to the toilet and relieved myself properly before excusing myself for the afternoon. >"You should probably go to the bathroom." >"You should probably go to the bathroom." >"You should probably go to the bathroom." >"You should probably go to the bathroom." Those words are burned into my mind to this day.

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