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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Was it because of homophobia? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/24(Mon)09:53:39 No.197593494 file.png 1.32 MB PNG >accepts people from all colors and creeds in his empire, even outcasts, with only the price of kneeling to him >prefers giving people money than going to war with them >still prefers to solve things by talking even after the war begins >still would like his enemy to join him, being 100% able to kill him on the spot, even after suffering massive damage on his armies from him Why was he considered the villain?

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anon plays minecraft with a woman | /r/Greentext

File: 1698421503329365.png (737 KB, 800x533) >tell her i wanna take it slow Anonymous 03/25/24(Mon)21:21:56 No.76897543 >>76897836>>76897997 >>76898123 >be me >early 20s >obsessed with mc >play it with cute girl from forums >play everday >play for months on end >hang out online so much her mom knew me >tells me she loves me and wants me to be with her >i say the same >tells me to move ot ohio right away to be wit her >she agrees but then disappears >3 months past without hearing from her >comes back to tell me she's now married with her 2nd choice i avoid a bullet but at the same time regret it. Anonymous 03/25/24(Mon)21:23:32 No.76897549 BRUH! ONLY IN OHIO LMAO

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Yeah I'm just lazy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 03/25/24(Mon)02:21:12 No.20336894 >"Getting delivery is cheaper than cooking" >"No it isn't" >"The ingredients cost so much!" >"You can make multiple servings with that amount of food, not to mention you save on delivery costs" >You expect me to eat leftovers? I'll have you know I have food trauma/histamine sensitivity/privileged upbringing etc. Why are people like this?

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)14:37:59 No.915838226 how do i get out of depression? do i just wait it out? 72 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)14:41:36 No.915838366 yeah 39 KB JPG

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anon is pretending to be female | /r/Greentext

File: 1665778563253.jpg (9 KB, 204x247) Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)19:42:17 No.76893694 [Reply] >>76893799 >>76893838 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy at AA meeting >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >we meet him up for dinner >i suggest me buy some wine >"one glass won't hurt" >"anon, i'm not sure" >"come on, wine might loosen me up" >wink at him sexily >two bottles of wine later we're pretty smashed and making out up against the restaurant dumpster >"let's get vodka in, make this is into a real party" >we drink the vodka buy the canal >he gets emotional and starts crying about his wife >he killed her in a drink driving accident >mfw why would he bring up his ex wife on a date with me? men can be so weird + 4 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)19:52:36 No.76893775 Based, sis! What a dumb moid that forgot everything especially the "one is too many and a thousand is never enough." Hopefully he'll continue on his binge, drinks and drives again and kills himself. Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)19:54:44 No.76893798 >be OP >be 24yo hag, dicked down dozens, if not, hundreds of times in college already >Meet older chad at a meeting specifically for getting over alcohol addiction >"OMG!! HE'S SUPER CUTE!!!!" >We meet at a bar >I pull him out of recovery and tempt him into drinking again >Make out behind a dumpster >We drink even more >Suddenly, the guy in question reveals that he was actually drinking because he killed his own wife, by mistake >OMG RÓBOTS!!! WHY ARE MEN LIEK THIS!!!! WHY DOES HE CARE ABOUT HIS WIFE THAT HE NEVER MEANT TO KILL AND WANTED A FAMILY WITH??? WHY DID HE CRY LIKE A LITTLE BITCH?? EWWW THIS "CHAD" GIVES ME THE ICK!! WHAT A F------ BETA I hate you OP, and every day women like you make me so happy to be alone. KYS at your earliest convenience.

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Mega autist is famous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 145 KB JPG 03/25/24(Mon)06:53:43 No.915863956 I kinda took a joke too far. Here goes >get hungry one evening, as one does, decide to order some beef lo mein at nearby chinese joint >call up the guy, give him my order, casually give him a local celebrity's name when he asks name for pickup (las vegas, many celebs are here, actually believable) >decide to dress up really fancy to pick up my order, full suit, silver shirt, purple jerry garcia necktie, even pulled out my monocle prop >park out of view of the shop window, exit, walk up to counter >carrying a leather-bound binder with blank loose paper >tell the guy that mr. celebrity wishes to receive his order, then opened my hand in a slow manner presenting the money for the order >chinese dude takes my money, brings my order, everyone is curiously observing me >do this like once a month for a few months, they recognize me >change up my order preferences after a few months, they got used to preparing beef lo mein and a cup of hot and sour for mr. local celebrity >start dressing in normal clothing and picking up my new order >they notice the pattern >i can now show up in either set of clothing, depending on my tastes for the evening, and have my order prepared while i'm walking through the foyer

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Anon tried to win an argument against his mom | /r/Greentext

File: 1A664342-4B95-4AFB-9325-8(...).jpg (17 KB, 736x618) I hate this Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)08:38:02 No.915836205 [Reply] >be me >>915840699 >live in a family of 3, mom bro and me >try to play vidya >Brother using PlayStation to watch Family Guy while playing on his laptop >Family guy is paused so I turn it off >"Youre not doing that!!!" >Brother goes to get mom, I explain what id going on and how he can keep frying his brain with Family Guy on his phone and still play >my mom shouting at me at how ungreatful of a bastard I am and how I do not help and and and >literally am talking normally and stating objective facts while she screams and yells at me >she tells me Im manipulative (?) Despite her saying I am a discrase as a son and how dare I not want to help anyone (I complained that I was out with her the whole day, shopping for s--- we dont need, getting yelled or scolded at half the time, and how I just wanted to relax a bit) >be banned from living room, be told to go to my room >mfw My life would be objectively SO funny as a f------ Comedy. But its real. And I genuinely have the urge to cut myself lol, humor is the only way I can escape, honestly I want to kms. I hate living here and going through this tourment every. f------. day.

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Anon is a super straight male | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >super straight male 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan mfw

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Anon is blackmailed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous _ESA ROPA SIMPLEMENTE NO PODIA 03/24/24(Sun)23:05:47 No.915858640 >20 year old >friends with a girl in college >met about a year ago >she's had feelings for me from SOPORTARLO. the start and is always trying to make me her boyfriend but I'm not interested in her, she's just a cool girl and friend 60 KB JPG >a couple of weeks ago I send her a d--- pic just to cocktease her for fun/for an ego boost (I'm around 9 inches and know how to anglemaxx to look even bigger) >she seems to become more obsessed with me afterwards but I don't take it too seriously >yesterday she tells me that she'll spread the pictures around to as many people as she can unless I date her Life has suddenly become a lot more stressful. I don't enjoy being blackmailed. : Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)23:31:49 No.915859630 >>915858640 (OP) # just f--- her retard >>915859925 #

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Anon went to protestant church | /r/Greentext

THS Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)21:04:29 No.915837060 >be me, catholic >>915837339 >>915837344 >>915837672 >have gf (protestant) who has recently turned back to the faith and intends to convert to catholicism >has accompanied me to Sunday mass a couple of times >yesterday, asked me if I'd want to go to her childhood protestant church this Sunday to see the differences >ok why not >we arrive, neatly dressed like usual, her in a nice dress and me in a suit and tie >literally everyone else is dressed like a total slob >like 30% of the other attendees are wearing sweatpants >mass commences >bunch of new age songs no one, not even the other attendees, really know the lyrics of so barely anyone sings along >sermon begins >literally a half hour monologue about Ukraine and Russia (a conflict that is now two years old) >called Russia (not Putin, just Russia in general) the "ultimate evil" >said Alexei Navalny is a Jesus-like figure who got killed for his faith >praised Zelensky (a jew) as the "ultimate defender of Christianity" > lamented about the Pope's recent call for peace between Ukraine and Russia, said there can never be peace aside from an unconditional Russian surrender >closed by praising Israel for their heroic defense against Hamas terrorists, but I didn't even pay too much attention anymore at that point are all protestant churches like this? even gf was shocked as she didn't remember it being this way.

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Make sure to pay a subscription and not buy outright | /r/Greentext

terminal wojak.png 170 KB PNG >........ I wish i consumed more media..... *BEEEEEEEEEEEP*........

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op takes matters into his own hands | /r/Greentext

File: gt 3.14 goth chick.jpg (20 KB, 236x393) God is Bu A help ☐ robots how do i stalk a girl and make it seem normal? Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)16:23:12 No. 76891774 >>76891781 >be 17 >qt 3.14 goth girl from my school >massive f------ crush, like it's ungodly >catches me staring all the time >think she thinks i hate her >give up fast forward a year >find name in year book >decide look up name on le hacker website >find a whole bunch of personal information (bitch cannot hide her stuff) >find address >decide to go to her house, to maybe smooth things over >comes out >does not like that >starts yelling >yells for father >father comes out, and starts yelling to >father punches me in the face, and i run away typing this as i s-- in my car. how do i smooth this over, and make it up to her? i really like her bros. picrel, very high resemblance to her

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Greentext Stories - Anon isn’t buying it | /r/Greentext

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