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: Anonymous >>197987389 (OP) # 04/06/24(Sat) 09:30:58 No. 197988277 >watching scary movie with gf >usually I laugh at her as she jolts and yelps at every jumpscare >this one is actually scary >start getting spooked >look over at gf, she's cowering, peeking through the blanket >a nasty jumpscare comes >she fear gasps >I flinch my head hard as f--- and emit a gay yelp >she noticed >mood killed >she decides to stop the movie and go to bed >broke up 1 week later

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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>his waifu doesn't have access to a fleet of private satellites so that she can track a singular person anywhere on the planet and then call in her private B-52 to firebomb half of Afghanistan

Anonymous Failed shopping attempt 105 KB JPG 03/29/25(Sat) 07:38:26 No.80793301 They should stop hiring attractive women as sales associates in men's clothing shops. >be me >trying to buy shoes in a sneakers shop >needed to ask one of their workers to bring out a pair in my size >all the workers, besides one older dude, are attractive girls of my age >feel uncomfortable, but wait till that guy isn't busy and ask him >try the shoes on, it's not a great fit, want to ask for a different size >the guy is now nowhere to be seen >assemble all my courage and ask one of the female workers >8/10 beaty >"yeah, sure..." a bit of annoyance can be heard in her voice and the look of disgust isn't fully hidden on her face >"actually nevermind" >leave the shop F--- I HATE BEING LOOKED AT WITH DISGUST. Most likely would have bought something, if they hadn't decided to hire those Stacies View Thread

Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

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I need to start saying this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)12:35:46 No.916510994 10 KB JPG >be me >chilling at parents house for easter >sister and her kids are there >my nephew, 10, comes up to me >say hi to him >he tells me i have a personality like a bottle of 3 in 1 soap >refuses to elaborate >leaves >still confused about it a week later what did he mean by this?

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Anon Hates the Critical Drinker | /r/Greentext

File: Drinker.jpg (30 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:22:15 No.198005078 ►>>198005221 >>198005881 >>198005915 >>198006637 >>198006792 >>198006801 >>198006839 >>198006981 >>198007033 >>198007079 >>198007253 >>198007417 >>198007644 >>198007665 >>198007853 >>198008102 >>198008898 >>198009320 >>198010127 >>198010807 >>198011185 >> >you know, I had to create a fake persona like Mr. Plinkett and Angry Video Game Nerd so I could attempt to bring some form of comedy to my movie reviews on youtube. Truth of the matter is, I'm just not funny or interesting to listen to. In fact, you could say I'm rather dull. You see, I was born into a middle class white family, went to a public school, had brown hair, was average weight and height and got average grades, I never excelled at anything and I never had a passion for anything... except pop culture and consumerism of course! That's where all my life experiences come from. I'm essentially just another flavour of Chris Stuckmann, only with opposite opinions regarding politics, and just like Chris Stuckmann, you'll also be leaving my videos feeling empty and uninformed, as if you've watched nothing. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but you did watch nothing! Because all I do is parrot opinions that are approved by my group of chuds on youtube like Geeks and Gamers, Nerdrotic and Ryan Kinel... you get the picture. Anyways, that's all I've got for today. Go away now Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:26:07 No.198005181 >>198007633 read it in his voice nailed it op Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:51:52 No.198005807 >>198006213 >>198006258 >>198009786 >rightfully criticizes left wing propaganda movies >defends right wing propaganda movies >>198005844 >goes on Ben Shapiros podcast and has a circlejerk with him >advertises shapiros snow white movie >calls lady ballers a rough gem What a f------ hack Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)08:26:43 No.198006725 >be s----- author >make s----- youtube channel as side gig >start spazing out the most obvious s--- possible that even normies can see >network with other famous youtubers >become famous why haven't you done that /tv/?

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)00:48:17 No.672620772 >>672620987 >>672657515 File: 1683656275535199.gif (21 KB, 122x128) >>672620362 >tfw only have been going to BK for the recent past months because of this super sexy amazonian nigress I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RACIST AAAHHHH

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Anon predicts the plot of the new Romeo and Juliet play | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: POFJMFRW) = 04/07/24(Sun)05:43:22 No.464195396 GK09AC3XKAAWKj_.jpg 100 KB JPG >Film starts >Tom Holland sees whatever this is >drinks poison and kills himself immediately >end >british mentally ill rattaratrartatatatar rap >credits: Goldstein & Meyer >>464195824 # >>464195918 # >>464195926 # >>464196212 #

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It's the kangaroos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous G NV that? 168 KB PNG 04/07/24(Sun)08:24:50 No.195745397 >F--- off we're full! Okay? How? You're the size of continental USA with a population of 25 million only. >Oi b-b-but muh desert, you fawkin drango, C---! Egypt is a desert also and it's smaller with a population of 100 million. In fact you don't inhabit all the coasts, why is >Imb4 This doesn't mean I'm for importanting poos, no. I'm genuinely asking why Australias don't expand if they have an overpopulation problem and a housing problem.

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Anon's neck hurts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)14:59:01 No.75021829 >Be me peppo-pepe.gif 25 KB GIF >Wake up with a stiff neck Fml >Never tell anyone about my neck FFW to next day >Scrolling through phone >See an ad for a neck and head supporter W-- is going on. Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)15:00:10 No.75021845 Don't worry about it, goy. PURE COINCIDENCE 82 KB JPG

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Anon remembers the most important scene in WWZ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous WORLD WAR AN ORAL HISTORY OF THE ZOMBIE WAR 04/06/24(Sat)03:15:51 No. 197988912 >artillery doesn't work on zombies because.... because it just doesn't ok??? Let's be honest, a faithful adaption would have been s--- also. MAX BROOKS 41 KB JPG Anonymous >>197988912 (OP) # 04/06/24(Sat)03:17:34 No. 197988942 brad pitt drank a soda during this movie >>197990944 # >>197998243 #

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New Lore Just dropped | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_6203.jpg ( 840 KB, 1170x899) सुपर्णनखा ने क्यों बसाया मक्का म CC BELIEVE AUTINE सुपर्णखा की इस गलती से हुआ इस्लाम धर्म का जन्म | Surpanakha Ke Bare Mein Janka... Factaiz Facts · 2.9M views • 1 year ago 9:28 : O Anonymous (ID: 86nmXrs/ ) 04/06/24 (Sat)19:15:56 No.464156703 > >464156977 >>464157220 >>464157225 >>464157360 >>464157384 >>464157503 >>464157758 >>464158090 >>464158428 >>464158952 >>464159520 >>464159874 >>464159898 >>464159966 >>464160126 >>464160364 A good proportion Of Hindus believe their lord Vishnu is held hostage inside kabba by Muslims and to save him they need to destroy it lol

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It's almost like treating employees well leads to better products | /r/Greentext

How does FromSoftware release AAA games so frequently? Elden Ring boss says "we are just blessed with a great staff" that the studio empowers and retains By Dustin Bailey published 1 day ago "We're able to understand quickly what we want to make" GHIIGKOWUAAakeT.jpg 63 KB JPG They just don't make them like FromSoft Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)08:42:34 No.668246473 >don't fire people after finishing work >allow them to get better >w-- how the hell do they do it Truly a mystery for the ages.

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autistic dog owner | /r/Greentext

File: shiba4.jpg (61 KB, 640x630) Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 18:08:47 No.77041904 [Reply] >>77042083 >be former neet, turbo autist >desperate to be normal >get normal person job >establish surface level connections so as not to look like an outsider/transplant, become functioning part of social ecosystem at work >looksmax, become passably attractive >mimic common interests and trends >im doing it im doing it >open mouth >misread social cue/reply slightly off >they can smell the autism on me >get White Girls At Party Looking Disgusted.png Look >its over why do i even try. i cannot defeat hundreds of years of pattern recognition in the human brain. they can smell the uncanny valley on me Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 18:21:35 No.77042083 ►>>77042190 >>77041904 (OP) >why do i even try. to make money so that you can afford to take care of your dog. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

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anon shoplifts like a pussy | /r/Greentext

File: 02_checkout-lane-1.jpg (38 KB, 479x319) cold beer Thievery Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 18:30:04 No.77042201 How many of you guys seriously Shoplift regularly? What's your strat? Here's mine: >Never do anything major, shoplifting anything very valuable will just lead to you getting arrested >Go to Grocery Stores that also have non-Food items. This is what I steal. >Only Steal things you have enough money to pay for, this way you can always get away with the "I forgot it was in my pocket" excuse >If the store is small enough where it doesn't have picrel, your job will be far easier. Take something, put it in your pocket and casually walk out like you didn't buy anything. If caught, just say that you forgot you had it and shamefully pay >if your caught at one spot, its good to not steal there for a couple months, or at least when that employee isn't there it isn't much, but its extremely difficult to get caught and nearly impossible to actually get in punishment for it. Especially if you can say you're autistic

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the pic is too big to fully be in the screenshot | /r/Greentext

I am never listening to normie advice again! Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 16:29:19 No.77040872 [Reply] ► >Be me >Discuss with my normie friends ways to get a girlfriend with my interests >They told me that I should touch grass and approach them. >I didn't believe them at first but decided to f--- it, I decided to surfacemaxx >I walked like 40k steps non stop, I went outside early in the morning and came back at like 8 pm. >I went to all sorts of places, parks, vidya stores, anime stores, literally anywhere that I have passion for. Nobody had approached me, I gave compliments to a few eGirls who wore cosplay and they just said "Thank you", nobody continued small talk. >I even went to grocery studios. I managed to make small talk but none continued it. >I was promised by normies that by making small talk, I'll succeed at love but all I got is me spending the entire day outside. >Mfw I am never listening to normies advice ever again.

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Greentext Stories - Anon watches a scary movie with his gf | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous >>197987389 (OP) # 04/06/24(Sat) 09:30:58 No. 197988277 >watching scary movie with gf >usually I laugh at her as she jolts and yelps at every jumpscare >this one is actually scary >start getting spooked >look over at gf, she's cowering, peeking through the blanket >a nasty jumpscare comes >she fear gasps >I flinch my head hard as f--- and emit a gay yelp >she noticed >mood killed >she decides to stop the movie and go to bed >broke up 1 week later

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