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36KiB, 868x581, Screenshot 2024-02-13 205544.png Anonymous Tue 13 Feb 2024 21:04:33 No. 193710916 Quoted By: >>193710960 >>193710991 >>193711240 >>193711320 >>193711369 >>193711818 >>193711872 >>193711945 >>193713309 >Literally banned religion, deeming it backwards. >One of the first countries to give female soldiers medals of honor. >Made posters criticizing American /pol/tards (KKK) from the time. View >Built universities to import third worlders to Russia to provide them education. >Made a movie about how unlike "AmeriKKa", nobody cares about interracial marriage in Russia, which literally ended with various eastern european ethnicities singing a lullaby to a mixed baby. (Circus 1936) Why does /pol/ like to laud them as "defenders of traditional values" when they were the OG leftists.?

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Trump says he ordered air strikes on Islamic State group in Somalia 301 301 SAFE US AFRICA COMMAND US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth said the strikes "further degrade" the ability of IS in Somalia George Wright BBC News 1 February 2025, 17:42 GMT Updated 35 minutes ago Donald Trump says he ordered military air strikes on a senior attack planner and others from the Islamic State (IS) group in Somalia. "These killers, who we found hiding in caves, threatened the United States and our Allies," Trump posted on social media. 1aa90f.png 611 KB PNG >US airliners falling out of the skies >Egg prices soaring >Deportation photo op failed >Melania getting Trudeau'd >Trump looking to deflect attention OFFIC

Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18 (Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg 128 KB JPG >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

Anonymous 1/31/2025, 10:39:47 AM No.49078630 r/greentext in 2036 Discussion 7 KB JPEG >be me > logging into Reddit Metaverse Premium Plus (now with haptic feedback for downvotes) >spend 3 hours verifying my age through blockchain-based ID system > finally get to r/greentext >sort by new >"Anon works at the Mars Colony" >be me, wagecuck on Mars Colony 47-B >working 169 hour weeks maintaining Musk's catgirl breeding facility >getting paid in ElonCoin (currently worth 0.0000001 USD) >mfw when I can't even afford soylent anymore >tfw no qt 3.14 genetically engineered catgirl gf >at least I'm not working in the reddit karma mines >get notification that I forgot to thank the Amazon-Tesla Al for allowing me to breathe their premium oxygen subscription > oxygen supply cut off >die >get reanimated as a cybernetic wagie because I signed the wrong clause in my 47,000 page employment contract > now I have to work double shifts >tfw when you realize you'll never escape wage slavery even in death >mfw when I realize I'm still paying off my student loans from 2024 >pic related, it's my government assigned cybernetic suffering enhancement module Replies: >Fake: Anon implies he got a job >Gay: Anon works for another man's catgirl facility >TendieBot_9000: [ATTENTION CITIZEN] Please validate your greentext reading license before attempting humor >"what the f--- is a soylent?" > "it's what they called food before the great nutrient paste standardization act of 2034" >be me reading this on my neuralink >get error 404: brain not found >mfw As I watch the last remnants of 4chan culture get absorbed into the corporate metaverse, I realize the true greentext was the autism we developed along the way.

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Anon finds out politics turns people into zombies | /r/Greentext

>Found out friends ostracized me for this. Politics ruins friendships Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)01:04:17 No.917015911 >Be me in the 2010s, in my 20s. >Friends come to ask me to join them >Expecting the usual pizza, vidya, and b-movie riffing, always a good time. >Friends don't have movie or vidya up "What's up?" >"Oh hey anon, we're talking about [Current Political BS], we want your opinion." >Decide to be honest with them, they are my friends after all "Sorry, I don't know enough about the current political culture to make a valid argument or opinion, I'd rather not say anything that would be intrinsically wrong." >"Anon, you live in this f------ country, you HAVE to have an opinion!" >MFW my friends to try to put me into conversational hostage over this. >Decide to rebuke "Look guys, how about we just get a pizza, and fire up some Injustice 2?" >"Anon, we're adults, we talk politics now." >I just leave because I don't wanna deal with that b-------. Since when is being smart enough to know that I don't know something a bad thing? Politics has really ruined things for me and it's kind of sad because I miss my friends on who they used to be, it's like bodysnatchers.

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Anon speedruns pokemon games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 426 KB JPG 04/08/24(Mon) 14:44:02 No.55709347 >Pokemon speedrunners always pick female character >Look up why >Devs made female rival/friend have more dialouge. >While the male rivals talk less, saving precious time. Based red pilled devs?

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Are they stupid? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed) 02:27:51 No.198323000 Capture.jpg 82 KB JPG >we have to walk funny because otherwise the worms will sense us and come, they always come >this little metronome will call a worm >but this gigantic machine won't call a worm >and the massive explosions we're causing while blowing it up also won't call a worm because... it just won't okay?

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Anon discovers a bootleg poster | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_20240415_145732467 (1).jpg (392 KB, 1940x4096) Coming Soon Blatant ripoff movies Anonymous 04/16/24(Tue)17:54:55 No.198326887 >>198326909 >>198326986 >>198327032 >>198327490 >>198327505 >>198327607 >Be me >At high school and walking down the hallway. >See this monstrosity. >"Space Fights" What a blatant ripoff of Battlestar Galactica. Anonymous 04/16/24(Tue)17:55:49 No.198326909 >>198326887 (OP)

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What quote lives in your brain rent free? Mine is the dad's asnwer...It pops up from time to time...for almost 10 year now | /r/Greentext

1363302801416.gif-(1/2 KB, 300x165, 1323187660090.gif) Anonymous 03/14/13(Thu)19:13 No. 11884997 Replies: >>11885 I'm gay. My dad is not pleased with this fact. Completely homophobic. Half the time his homophobia doesn't even make sense. >Fishing show on TV in the living room >Watching it with mom and dad >Mom: "I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff >Me: "It doesn't feel like too long when you're out there" >Dad: "Time flies when you're a f-----." >Go to my room

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Anon meet his future wife | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 129 KB JPG says, "good job." 01/19/21(Tue)00:59:08 No.59424353 >Ask attractive woman how long she last left on power rack >She asks if I want to work in with her >Say I don't want to impose >She raises her eyebrows at me and says, "Impose yourself." >I strict press more than she squats >She slaps me on the butt afterwards and What should I do when I see her tomorrow?

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Anon need real advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)00:30:16 No.916987147 48 KB JPG My best friend just broke up with his gf and his now ex gf sent me a snap of a video on her computer of my friend sucking some guys d---. I wrote w-- and she responded "yeah he's a f--". w-- do I do? Do I tell my friend about this? I don't want to know about any of this and I have no idea why she sent me that

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It's a big circle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: +w0enNN3) لا غالب إلا الله 36 KB PNG 04/16/24(Tue)22:11:20 No.465195567 >Be Spain >Get colonized by Islam >Live under Muslim Tyranny for 800 years >Rebel and finally push the invaders out. >Become Chad Catholic Nation. >Become Colonizer. >Conquer half the world. >Lose colonies. >No longer chad Catholic Nation. >Becomes woke. >Begins taking "refugees". >Get colonized by Islam. Why is Dad like this?

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Lighthearted anon humour | /r/Greentext

Anonymous! 04/16/24(Tue)03:48:42 No.196104008 WHY DID THE FIN RUN A MARATHON????? TO CROSS THE FINNISH LINE!!!! 189 KB JPG >>196104280 #

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Anon discovers a cheat code | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG >be me 04/16/24(Tue)08:41:39 No.77155356 >straight >walk into starbucks on college campus >stand in line >feel something in the depths of my bowels >s--- pants aggressively >everyone hears and sees >cant unshit my pants so i decide to keep going about my day >when i ordered my latte the workers got it out to me as fast as possible >when i went to my classes there were no assholes who sat next to me or even near me >on my walk back to my apartment nobody bothered me with any b------- >when i cooked dinner that night my roommates all left the common area so i had the kitchen to myself w-- did i just discover a cheat code? i should do this more often

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No boobs = liability | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "HAHAHAHA YOU WORSHIP "SKY DADDY"!!!! FAMILY-MAN? YOUR LIFE IS SO BORING" 04/16/24(Tue)13:58:29 No.916971596 LEARN MY SONS: "WHEN A MAN CAN'T FIND MEANING IN LIFE HE NUMBS HIMSELF IG@trad west WITH PLEASURE" IMG_20240131_015921_846.jpg 114 KB JPG IG:@trad_west >17 >loved anime little girls >26 >meh they have no boob or ass >they're a huge liability to take as wife >can't help me with nothing, I have to cook for them, not them cooking for me I just lost feelings for them anon, same? 2 Replies : Anonymous : Anonymous >>916971596 (OP) # View Thread 04/16/24(Tue)14:07:46 No.916971809 04/16/24(Tue)14:13:16 No. 916971937 Yeah I too stopped being into kids once I stopped being a kid, that is normal.

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Twink (false) made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 53 KB JPG 04/16/24(Tue)13:00:00 No.74060309 >be twink >have bigly twink energy >even guys shorter than me want to top me >my fem co-workers say they'll protect me >getting close to summer >take off jacket >my friends are dumbfounded >"You're buff Anon, w--?" >"When did you start working out?" I'm very happy rn

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Greentext Stories - It is funny that Russia went from being criticized for being radical leftists to being criticized fo...

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36KiB, 868x581, Screenshot 2024-02-13 205544.png Anonymous Tue 13 Feb 2024 21:04:33 No. 193710916 Quoted By: >>193710960 >>193710991 >>193711240 >>193711320 >>193711369 >>193711818 >>193711872 >>193711945 >>193713309 >Literally banned religion, deeming it backwards. >One of the first countries to give female soldiers medals of honor. >Made posters criticizing American /pol/tards (KKK) from the time. View >Built universities to import third worlders to Russia to provide them education. >Made a movie about how unlike "AmeriKKa", nobody cares about interracial marriage in Russia, which literally ended with various eastern european ethnicities singing a lullaby to a mixed baby. (Circus 1936) Why does /pol/ like to laud them as "defenders of traditional values" when they were the OG leftists.?

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