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Anonymous 12 KB JPG 05/01/24(Wed)07:46:32 No.77333372 >be me, zoomer ascended bot >ugly autistic retard >stop going to r9k >somehow get cute fiancee, child >graduate with cs degree, things look good bros >even get a job >maybe the world isn't so bad after all >job market immediately goes to s--- >she dumps me one day with no warning and no coherent reasoning >i lose my job after because theyd rather hire poos who copypaste from chatgpt until they inevitably waste hundreds of thousands of dollars for nothing >i "quit" because i refused to do unpaid overtime after doing it constantly, so no unemployment >cant see my kid grow up >cant get a job because software is completely enshittified to the point where it can no longer be saved >living with parents doing f--- all >just lifting and spamming vidya dont buy into all of the s--- you hear. there is no light at the end of the tunnel bros.

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon is memorizing the good ol days | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 30 KB PNG 05/01/24(Wed)06:17:22 No.77332789 >going back to old ps3/wii games >looking at YouTube videos >see grainy videos of regular dudes hanging out >crt tvs >no trannies, no politics We arent gonna make it bros

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The so-called Vikings when they see a real warrior: | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue)22:53:10 No.196681176 1663924207873015.jpg 566 KB JPG >romanians arent whit-ACK.. Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue)22:54:00 No. 196681211 imagine how good that would feel squishing against your prostate >>196681387 # >>196696323 # Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue)22:55:12 No. 196681267 the f--- is wrong with your hand n----?

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Cat naps for gains | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/23(Mon)21:35:31 No.73034688 450022879.jpg 529 KB JPG >boosts your muscle recovery and your mood with purrs >gives you toxoplasmosis to increase your test Are cats the most /fit/ pet?

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Anon dislikes Falling Down | /r/Greentext

MICHAEL FALLING DOWN ☐ Anonymous (ID: CYNLC+rx 04/29/24(Mon)04:44:59 No.466489475 >>466489727 >>466489834 >>466490299 >>466490812 >>466490880 >>466492210 >>466492319 >>466492344 >>466492347 >>466492575 >>466492805 >>466494480 >>466495029 >>466495813 >>466498782 >>466501193 >>466504165 >>466504242 >>466504904 >>466504977 >>466505725 >>466505796 >>466505813 >>466506612 >>466508954 >>466508983 >>466509125 >>466509281 >>466509538 >>466509663 >>466512424 >>466514816 >>466514989 >>466518014 >>466518312 >>466522298 >>466523518 >trashes the establishment of a small business owner because he disagrees with the pricing >Terrorizes fast food workers for following the rules that they have no control over >Kills an innocent nazi that just wanted to gas the Jews and kill n------ >Shoots a policewoman attempting to stop his nonsensical rampage The worst part of this movie isn't that d-fens was an unlikeable douchebag, it's that most people relate to him - if they were mildly inconvenienced like he was, they all see themselves exactly like him. You should be afraid of "people" who enjoy this movie, they are terrifying and unhinged. Anonymous (ID: /IP+IRYX >mildly inconvenienced his normie life was over >cucked by his wife >jewed by his boss 04/29/24(Mon)04:46:30 No.466489583 >could no longer support anyone as a wagie This is you, you're just too stupid and not white enough to realize it >>466489727 >>466489906 >>466491552 >>466495575 >>466495934 >>466503293 >>466509188

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Anon is socially gifted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >Riding on elevator >Door opens 08/22/23(Tue)09:45:10 No.189034696 >Two guys and a girl get on >F------ great >Look up at the ceiling so I don't have to acknowledge the existence of other people >Suddenly the broad pipes up: "It's okay to say hi, you know!" >Look at her >Realize she's famous but I have no idea who she is. >2 guys must be her bodyguards >Tap my ear and mouth "I'm on the phone" >There's nothing in my ear btw, no earbuds or bluetooth, no nothing >She looks confused and sort of sad. >Get off at my floor >"Yeah, sorry. It was just someone on the elevator." >Still don't know who it was

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Classic anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/11(Sun)01:39:39 No.326041864 File 1304228379.jpg-(12 KB, 281x236, 1294729042581.jpg) Okay >Long-term gf just broke up with me >At coffee shop trying to think of how to get my s--- together >notice cute girl is has been looking at me for some time >smile at her and wave a little >go back to staring at my coffee >look up to see her sitting next to me >asks me what's wrong >little reluctant, think it's a trick >It isn't >feelsgoodman.jpg >she was dumped recently too >>accidently stare at her cleavage as she's talking >start to get hard >feel a hand run up my leg >see her breathing a bit hard >asks if I like what I see >guide her hand to my zipper >she unzips my fanny pack by mistake >spaghetti falls out >try to clean it up with my sock >start to cry >get embarrassed and fart watery diarrhea all over my man skirt >smear s--- all over the window and ask her to marry me >mfw she said no

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There for you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous -with- LOW SELF-ESTEEM Based On Science JPG | 33.06 KB Tuesday 2024-04-30 23:21:11 6 minutes ago 77328020 >low self esteem >generally miserable >follow this guy on tiktok who livestreams sunrises and nature in my country >yesterday he was near my house livestreaming >decide to go say hello >was kinda awkward walking up to a stranger in big field talking to his phone lol >we have a chat, he livestreams me, I tell him he's cool etc and say hi to the audience >go home and read all the comments >everyone was saying I was cool and seemed really nice (and some girls were liking that I was playing Lana del rey) >feel better about myself Hmm maybe I'm not such a f------ loser after all. I think I have bad self esteem. I need a gf again, it improves how you feel about yourself and you get the social proof of a hot girl desiring you. 3 Replies 0 Images 3< REPLY

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Kitchen Nightmares.png | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:01:59 No. 10805503 >>10802244 (OP) # >"Are these ice cubes fresh or frozen?" "F-Frozen chef." >"Jesus f------ Christ." >>10806215 # >>10810358 # >>10812923 #

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Anon pulls off a heist | /r/Greentext

2 549162040 ~ 23:11 PM >be 12 >want to order pay per view p--- >use dads credit card >record it on vhs so id have it forever >wait for bill to come in mail >get on microsoft paint and remove the p--- >put in titanic >put bill back in the mail >dad yells at me for renting titanic without permission, but nothing worse if you wanna pull a big heist, you gotta take a small hit Id: 18AVUT6+

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Anons discuss Forrest Gump | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_7425.jpg (135 KB, 558x809) Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue)13:31:56 No. 198742628 Why did Forrest Gump succeed when he's retarded? Tom Hanks Forrest Gump >somehow passed US military tests >won pingpong competitions against the best of multinational teams >made sawy investments by delegating to people he trusted July 6 Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue)13:33:35 No. 198742659 Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue)13:35:48 No. 198742706 Forrest Gump is a subversion of boomer ideals >childhood sweetheart is a druggie slut > acceptance into school is fraudulent because his mom f----- the principal >has no concept or love of football despite being a star college player >enters the army and is commended for being dumb >saves a man's life when he doesn't want to be saved >shrimp business succeeds because a biblical storm swept away all the competition, not because of business acumen Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue)13:37:05 No. 198742729 >Why did Forrest Gump succeed when he's retarded? >proceeds to list off all of the things that made him successful despite his disabilities You're even more retarded than Forrest. Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue)13:37:49 No. 198742741 A retard who tried all the time will be more successful than a midwit who sits around crying in image boards all day

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Anon discovers new tabletop game | /r/Greentext

File: V Reich.png (978 KB, 639x1024) I WANT YOU FOR THE V REICH Punkapocalyptic Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)11:55:22 No.92520894 Spaniard tabletop. It doesn't take itself serious. If Mad Max and Fallout 1-2 had a son in 80s Spain. Best faction, V Reich >created by a dude that didn't know if there was a IV Reich >ruled by a jewish dwarf >LGBT-friendly >anarcho-punk mixed with fascism >one of its best warriors is a black german called Ilse 'La Loba' (the She-Wolf)

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The phantom shitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: JL5Dj5ct The Rosauers Incident ROSAGERS $5900 & AD FOOD R 1.84 MB PNG 04/30/24(Tue)11:22:35 No.20168267 > Be me > Be in University > GF (now wife) and I just finished mid- terms > GF and I proceed to bar-hop to blow off steam > Drink an entire fishbowl myself among numerous other beverages > feelsgoodman.wmv > Blissfully unaware of the day of reckoning about to take place > Crack of noon arrives > Wake up with blistering hangover > GF and I go to mall together > GF and I eat S----- Wok in a vain attempt to stave off hangovers > Lather it with copious amounts of chili sauce, because why the f--- not > impendingdoom.zip > GF complains of gastrointestinal discomfort and demands to be taken home > Drive GF to her apartment > Doesn't even kiss me goodbye as she sprints to her apartment at Mach speed > foreshadowing.avi > Begin to drive back to my place > Guts aren't in distress quite yet > calmbeforethestorm.rar > Pass gas station before I turn on to highway > Just my luck, upon turning on to highway, my colon starts the burning of a thousand suns > These cramps are contractions for the unholy abomination I am about to birth > The Battle of Stalingrad wages in my colon > SOS > White knuckles grip the steering wheel > Begin the mantra of "hold it" > "Hold it!" > My fedora-tipping edgelord ass suddenly becomes religious > hailmary.exe > A beacon of hope appears on the horizon > Rosauers Supermarket to the rescue > Race to parking lot > Ever seen how a penguin walks? > Spoiler alert: not fast enough > Pray to any deity that will listen to spread their mercy on that bathroom > "I'm gonna make it" "I'm gonna make it!!!" > Dear reader, I, in fact, did NOT make it > Simple_Plan_Untitled.mp3 > What can only be described as lukewarm runny instant mashed potatoes proceed to run down my pant leg > A shame I've never felt engulfs my psyche > I stand before the sliding glass doors of Rosauers a broken man : Anonymous (ID: JL5Dj5ct 04/30/24(Tue)11:24:01 No.20168277 > Panic sets in > Need to act fast > Remember my gym bag is in the back my car > Waddles to car > March_Of_The_Penguins.wmv > Get in back of car > Put shirt on window in attempt to hide my shame > Use sweaty clothes and towel to clean up mud bath > Shoes even become a casualty > A contest of pungent odors is being waged in my vehicle > I now need to dispose of the evidence > Kick s-----, sweaty clothes out of my car near storm drain I parked by > RIP Pennywise > Climb into driver's seat > The ghost of Dale Earnhardt possesses me as I peel out of Rosauers parking lot > Begin the trek home > Questioning my life's choices > existentialcrisis.exe is successfully installed > Sigh heavily > Then suddenly burst out in laughter over sheer absurdity of situation > Arrive home, rinse off rancid remnants, go to work > Purchase pine tree shaped air freshener > ff to Sunday night > GF and I enjoying the company of friends in the neighboring town > For some inexplicable reason, I decided to recount my harrowing tale > What can only be described as a hyena's howling is being directed at me > My identity as the phantom s------ has been revealed > laughtohidethepain.avi > GF and I begin the drive home > Curiosity gets the better of us > Decide we need wine and snacks from... three guesses where... > Return to the scene of the crime > The glimmer of neon athletic socks appears like a lighthouse on a stormy sea > Well... SURE AS S---...the clothes are still there > Pun absolutely intended > notasinglefuckgiven.wav > GF and I laugh over wine and snacks and horror movie > Ever drink Bailey's from a shoe? >>20168421 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon is free | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 12 KB JPG 05/01/24(Wed)07:46:32 No.77333372 >be me, zoomer ascended bot >ugly autistic retard >stop going to r9k >somehow get cute fiancee, child >graduate with cs degree, things look good bros >even get a job >maybe the world isn't so bad after all >job market immediately goes to s--- >she dumps me one day with no warning and no coherent reasoning >i lose my job after because theyd rather hire poos who copypaste from chatgpt until they inevitably waste hundreds of thousands of dollars for nothing >i "quit" because i refused to do unpaid overtime after doing it constantly, so no unemployment >cant see my kid grow up >cant get a job because software is completely enshittified to the point where it can no longer be saved >living with parents doing f--- all >just lifting and spamming vidya dont buy into all of the s--- you hear. there is no light at the end of the tunnel bros.

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