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Anonymous 02/25/09(Wed)20:45 No.27753105 File:1235612747.jpg-(54 KB, 710x550, bumble.jpg) BLAST OFF I play Fallout 3 hardcore style. Pretty simple. No saving. No reloading. When you die, you die. Also, your character must have flaws. My first character, for example, was a p--------. Whenever I reached a new outpost, the first thing I would do is look for little girls. I would follow them around, talk to them, try to look up their skirts, etc. I would learn their routines and where they lived. I would hide in their houses at night so I could watch them sleep. So when I found little lamplight I almost didn't know what to do with myself. So many new playthings. Especially Bumble. Sweet little innocent Bumble. I wandered about for what seemed hours, playing tag and investigating. Then I came across the girls bathroom. I stared down at the filthy water in the toilet. This is it. This is where my sweet little Bumble peed. I drank the radiated toilet water until my character died. That's Fallout 3 hardcore style. F5 2 ==

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon actually learns something helpful | /r/Greentext

THE GUARANTEED WAY TO PICK UP SINGLE WOME WOMEN Accidentally found gold Anonymous 05/31/24(Fri)22:44:18 No.919194828 >Be Me >Likes watching s----- training videos and/or obvious scam videos, much like RedLetterMedia >Finds video from 1987, knowing it's going to be cringe. >"The Guaranteed Way To Pick Up Single Women" >Oh s--- this is gonna be hilarious >Expects dated, cringy jokes and advice that aged like milk. >Watches video >Actually has good advice >Actually learned something >Wasn't as cringe as I thought it would be Wow, I actually learned something, unlike you hooting baboons.

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Anon is traumitized | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: cQa16Jfd) 209 KB JPG >wake up >in hole in desert >gun on my forhead. >wound patched. >glance upwards 05/31/24(Fri)18:47:39 No.20425813 >be me 2016 >USA southern border patrol officer >standing at my post in texas >shot in arm >not fatal >knocks me out >buddy next to me also shot. >I never saw him again. >F------ El Chapo and an American soldier >stomach sinks >start thinking how Im gonna see my mom again I dont have kids because I just wanted a good job and thats all I wanted After this I never wanted a family more. >they offer my freedom if I go back into America and keep contact for a year and make my way into border passing buisness. To let them through often. >they told me they'll know if I don't and will hunt me down. >they let me go. >I get a ride with an immigrant. >Nice guy. >no money to pay him >open wallet. >everything in wallet except ID gone >guy says he has to go through illegally. >Gives me a small almost empty bottle of water. >Im on my way >half a day of walking to american border crossing. >they let me into America >meet with FBI >tell them what happened but made sure to leave out the Border crossing plan. >friend was found dead in hole. >eventually transfer into border crossing due to a fear of "the cartel" >4 months into the job I start to stop expecting them every day because El Chapo was captured. >the next day they are here at the border. >they just say one word "Chapo" their car is searched and they're let through. They were captured soon after that. I went into witness protection because I believed they were after me. >went into Uni and got a different job Scariest few years of my life.

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Anons multiple side hustles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous F--- wagies 138 KB GIF 07/07/21(Wed) 15:10:07 No.64478353 How do you maximize your neetbux? >Ask for a large cup of water everytime, refill with soda. >Steal silverware at chain restaurants and sell it on Facebook marketplaces once I have enough. >Take condiments >Take backpack into bathrooms with good TP and steal it all. >Have saved every single warranty item and sent it in for a new one at the time of warranty expiration. Did this with some sennheisers, corsair keyboard, monitor. >Torrent all single player games, g2a for multi- player. >Flatmate asked me to fix her internet. Wrote down the router password. Use it when I want to download something big. >Bought a set of tubular picks, anytime I see a vending machine without cameras near by I help myself to a neetbux advance. >Drop ship things >Crypto trade >Collect vintage hand helds from flea markets, garage sales, pawn shops. Flip on eBay for an easy 10-100x profit.

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Anons contribution to modern society | /r/Greentext

File: x3hsq.jpg (190 KB, 500x598) Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)14:27:25 No.62406120 ► > be me > be living in mom basement > browse 4chan > post le funny greentext i read > get 14 updoots this is the life

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/a/ discusses Cheat Slayer | /r/Greentext

File: Cheat Slayer.png (1.2 MB, 2240x1600) WHAT'S "THE INSURGENTS OF GOD'S GOAL? LET'S GO OVER THIS ONCE AGAIN. "LOOPER" HONDA YUUYA "GOD'S MISTAKE LOUIS CRAWFORD "THE FALLEN GODDESS "THE DAUGHTER VILLAINESS FLARE IMERDA PIÑATA "THE YOUNG DEMON" ANASTASIA MELOKVA "THE NAMED SLIME" RORO SENDIGER "OTHERWORLD RESTAURANT" SHIJOU YUKIKO "THE UNDEAD KING" DON WILL DEAD 27 26 ☐ Anonymous 05/31/24(Fri)03:32:47 No.267187390 | >>267187405 >>267187439 >>267187443 >>267187465 >>267187489 >>267187521 >>267187827 >>267187893 >>267187922 >>267188441 >>267188802 >>267188886 >>267189142 >>267189419 >>267189891 >>267191232 >>267193119 >>267194118 >Be talentless isekai novelist >Mangaka makes parody manga poking a little fun at you >piss and cry about it so hard his publisher has to cancel it after 1 chapter Why are isekaifags so sensitive?

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Anon shares his story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I've got a story 382 KB JPG 05/30/24(Thu)21:55:43 No.3803337 this takes place when I was about sixteen so like 6 or 7 years ago >be me >be enjoying winter break >be sitting on couch at around 2-2:30 in the morning >watching some s--- on TV >feelsgood.jpeg >hear funky sound akin to rubbing wet leather on hard wood >s--- pants because i'm the only one awake >jump from couch like scared little bitch >begin sweeping first floor of house with kitchen knife like soldier >find nothing still don't w-- could have made that sound, both parents were asleep and I have no dogs could've come from outside of course and may have been two dogs fighting or something like that but idk (photo unrelated just thought it was funny) : Anonymous 05/30/24(Thu)22:32:50 No.3803354 >>38033372 (OP) # >flattery will get you everywhere smol senpai >;3 >i know it's cliche to seduce for information but this basic instinct s--- has me shifting my legs quite a bit

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Anon has dandruff | /r/Greentext

File: grey.jpg (7 KB, 200x177) Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)11:27:32 No.66481937 ► >be me >late 20s >social outcast >career loser >stressed from achieving nothing >can't motivate to fix my life >hair greying early >never shampoo my hair >afraid of it falling out if I touch it >dandruff.png >starting to congeal from my sweat >entire head is becoming one big crust >mfw my scalp is flake and grey

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Anon tries to defend his country. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/13/15(Mon)22:34:15 No.44586264 ►>>44586398 >>44586430 >>44586488 >>44586521 >>44586549 >>44586562 >>44586622 >>44586706 >>44587072 >>44587090 >>44587357 >>44588514 >>44589388 >>44590512 This 'India smells and is dirty' meme based on some cherrpicked images of streets that are selected by the community to be the recycling area of the towns needs to stop. India is the nicest smelling country on earth. If you think curry smells then you are an idiot. Curry has a delicious smell. India smells of curry then it smells delicious. White countries all smell of Air Freshner Female Perfume Street Sweepers Air conditioner Chewing Gum It is disgusting and unnatural. India has a good natural smell. It smells like a country of people should smell. I enjoy my curry smell not f------ lavender and banana anti r--- S IW perfume conditioner with sweat prevention qualities, even though it is sexy when women sweat. You western f---- have destroyed your noses. Also there is no s--- on the average Indian street. The only s--- is in designated s------- streets. And if there is a smell in the river it is because of fish s---, not human s---, Indians don't s--- in rivers. Don't believe the memes. Australians are the smelly ones. Abos hever invented a tollet and they let abos Tun wild. Most Austalians have abo s--- on their shoes ☐ Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)00:12:56 No.4458975 Anonymous 07/14/15(Tɩ Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)00:33:42 No.44590649 Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)00:43:52 No.44591125 ►>>44591182 >>44591226 >>44 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poo,_India >>44589758 >>44586488 >>44591047 (You) >india is actually poo even cats have the decency to bury their own s--- hahahah le a name in a different language has a different meaning in english and Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)00:45:54 No.44691225 ► =+44501274 cwroną paa (/ KU, 584×217) English- India itself has agreed with us. The town is literally called POO Why are we even debating anymore? India has already forfeit. I mean, it's over guys. They are s---. They are LITERALLY poo. You can point to India on the map and say, "hey look, it's poo" and it's not wrong. It's NOT wrong. It's ACTUALLY poo. 22 mous 07/14/15(Tue)14:59:19 No.44625518 ►>>44625569 >>44625636 >>44625714 >>44625736 4625304 Iranslate from Lnglish Poo f----- I told you once its not a f------ leaf and Australia is a superpower and you call India a s-------- your entire country is one of the s-------- country every living thing there wants to kill you your country s awful and what the f--- have you even contributed to the world huh maggot and f--- off that pic only 16 years old new f--- now use it Anonymour 1701406(TUNATA 1 No cont Poo FIM. IND VSE GANGES LEAD ) 055 14-p4 1-1 KB, 628-100) Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)15:09:26 No.44625714 ► File: 12354345345.jpg (27 KB, 250x242) >>44625518 >A. F------. WAGON. WHEEL Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)15:04:55 No.44625640 ► e: 1345245345.jpg (1.61 MB, 3648x2736) >>44625572 >india has designated s------- streets nonymous 07/14/15(Tue)12:07:48 No.4462 342342342344444333.jpg (82 KB, 319x331) >designated f------ s------- streets h-------- an 4625643 ► aggot what he etard for prim Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)12:51:27 No.44622612 ► 1379264018510.gif (11 KB, 390x265) Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)15:10:30 No.44625736 ► >>44625518 CATTULUJ Why don't you grab those wagon wheels, and wheel yourself out of here, m8. Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)15:19:03 No.44625931 ► >>44625736 Why don't you go out and suck a koalas c--- and f--- that retarded kangaroo while singing your s----- national anthem next to that joke of a opera house Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)15:05:06 No.44625643 ►>>44625669 >>44625683 >>44625731 >>44625820 >>44625907 >>44625551 I don't give a f------ f--- what that says f----- what he f--- do you think that's a debate c---------. F--- your s----- country and your pathetic need to make fun of us v your s--- country at least we don't have a retard for prime minister Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)12:01: File: 1407464512982.png (32 KB, 240x24! Anonymous 07/14/15(Tue)01:48:07 No.44593926 ►>>44594210 mous 07/14/15(Tue)12:00:03 No.44621124 74765664.jpg (10 KB, 228x221) >>44623118 >Indias greatest invention was s------- on streets >Indiarrhea >receive a phone call >some guy talking to me in English with a heavy Indian accent >says he works for Windows (not Microsoft) and tells me that I have a virus on my computer and I should follow his instructions >don't fall for scam, tell him the call is being recorded and he would be in big trouble >he gets angry and say he would f--- my wife tonight >tell him that curryniggers can't penetrate s--- with their microdicks >he flips his s--- and throws all kinds of imaginable insults and threats against me Thank God I live in a country with clean drinking water. "f--- your s----- country india is literally s---

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Strike from the Woods | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 114 KB JPG p---". 05/26/24(Sun)22:16:42 No.77624072 When I was 13, I found out my dad had mistress. I said I'd rat him out to mom if he didn't buy me an account on some p--- sites. He didn't want to give me access to p--- even under the threat of exposure, so we compromised on buying me an account on a hentai site which he didn't count as "real I accidentally left the hentai site open on the family computer one night and my mom found it at some point after I went to sleep. Since the content was being paid for, she apparently thought my dad was using it. The next day, our Google search history was full of stuff like "help my husband is watching cartoon p---" and "is it normal for men to like cartoon p---". Dad took the rap for the hentai without complaint because the alternative was admitting that he bought p--- for his 13 year old son to cover up his extramarital affair. End of the story? Nope. A few years later I happen to be going through my parents' closet for something when I stumble upon a bunch of cosplay s---: a Hatsune Miku thing, a meido costume and a school uniform based on Haruhi. Along with neon colored wigs and assorted anime inspired accessories like cat ears + tail. So apparently my mom accepted that dad had a fetish for anime chicks and has been doing her best to satiate his lust for 2d, and poor dad who has no fetish for 2d whatsoever (pleb), has to play along or allow the entire web of lies to collapse. tldr I ruined my parents marriage with hentai.

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Anon and his brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous There is only darkness 159 KB PNG >Be me 05/31/24(Fri)11:34:47 No.77675081 >Share a room with older brother >Can't have my own bedroom because sister needs her privacy, and can't live in doghouse like the bitch she is. >Older brother is furfag >Wake up one day, brother is on his pc >He is on furaffinity looking at furry p---. >Utterly disgusted >parents think he's a normal good boy >Don't believe me that he's a furry, no matter how much I tell them. >He then starts looking at women drowning in furry mud monsters. >What the actual f--- >Then starts looking at furry women drowning in mud monsters. >What the F--- X2 >He then looks at furry vore, and some cartoon furry eats some dude whole and pops a furry boner >HOLY F------ S--- MY BRAIN.BITMAP >Turn off internet via phone and pretend to sleep >Hear keyboard smashing, and stomping out of room >I can't take it anymore guys, I think I'm losing it.

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Anon likes to help others. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG entertainment. 08/19/18(Sun)13:30:30 No.777598427 ITT: Good deeds you've done in your life. >Be me. >Go for a walk because I'm not a shut in virgin. >Walk by trailer park for some human >Girl comes running up to me. >Tells me her dog is dying and she needs help. >F----- jumped in the pool and didn't know how to swim. >Luckily I'm an EMT in training. >Grab big ass golden retriever out of pool. >Pretty sure its dead. >Give the dog CPR. >He's not responding but I keep at it. >Girl calls 911. >Turns out they don't send ambulances for dogs. >Just before I'm about to carry it to her car he starts coughing. >Throws up all over me. >Girl comes running over and hugs dog. >His tail starts wagging. >Girl thanks me. >Gives me a hug. >Tells me she'd kiss me if she didn't have a boyfriend. >Respect her relationship and leave with my head held high. I like helping people. It makes me feel good!

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Anon wins a trip to America | /r/Greentext

O to tasty in seconds Rustlers DEUS EX HUMAN REVOLUTION COMING SOON TO PS3, XBOX 360 & PC WIN AN ACTION PACKED TRIP TO DETROIT Full terms & conditions and How to enter visit www.RUSTLERSONLINE.COM/DEUSEX Open to all residents in the UK/ROI/1OM/CI/NL/BE/DK Closing date 31st May 2011. See website for full terms and conditions. © SQUARE ENIX LTD. flame grilled QUARTER POUNDER with NEW SAUCE 11052/3 09:08 USEBY 18 MAR KEEP REFRIGERATED 190g SERVING SUGGESTION MUST MICROWAVE FOLLOW COOKING INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:24 No. 137811126 File: 1335752694.jpg-(19 KB, 320x240, 1334702813764.jpg) >eat Rustlers burger >win trip to detroit >get deported to america >thrown into the harsh streets of detroit >get r---- by n------ until I'm more c-- than man Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:57 No. 137814125^ File: 1335754631.png-(14 KB, 327x367, 1333837118221.png) >nip down to the shops and pick up a rustlers beef-burger >snip off the tin, spy a shiny golden ticket >call me old mum >"wassit say then fargus?" >we's won a trip to america, mum "coo, fancy that! a holiday to florida! i'll have your father nip round the chemist tomorrow to pick up some sun cream and a--" >blimey mum, it says detroit america not florida >me mum and i douse the ouse in petrol and set spark to it >next 3 days we's on the dole, hiding in cubbards >scotland yard rounds us up, puts us on a skycar to America well we's right snoggered now, mum

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a role player g*mer right??? | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 02/25/09(Wed)20:45 No.27753105 File:1235612747.jpg-(54 KB, 710x550, bumble.jpg) BLAST OFF I play Fallout 3 hardcore style. Pretty simple. No saving. No reloading. When you die, you die. Also, your character must have flaws. My first character, for example, was a p--------. Whenever I reached a new outpost, the first thing I would do is look for little girls. I would follow them around, talk to them, try to look up their skirts, etc. I would learn their routines and where they lived. I would hide in their houses at night so I could watch them sleep. So when I found little lamplight I almost didn't know what to do with myself. So many new playthings. Especially Bumble. Sweet little innocent Bumble. I wandered about for what seemed hours, playing tag and investigating. Then I came across the girls bathroom. I stared down at the filthy water in the toilet. This is it. This is where my sweet little Bumble peed. I drank the radiated toilet water until my character died. That's Fallout 3 hardcore style. F5 2 ==

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