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Anonymous 06/19/24(Wed)16:25:20 No.200262747 1715204769131355.jpg 103 KB JPG >Rubbing one off was the sane thing to do. Too many choices, not enough time. And when we faced exhaustion, I offered a solution. >Edging >At random. Dispassionate, fair to 2D and 3D alike. They called me a mad man. And what I predicted came to pass. >Congratulations, you're a coomer >I'm a gooner >Who wants to edge endlessly >With all the hours of edging, I could simply snap my fingers, and all the c-- would gush out. I call that...relief. >And then what? >I finally rest, and see the latest drama on twitter

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon was dealt a curveball when she could have gotten it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I approached a girl today 64 KB JPG >at gym 06/14/24(Fri)16:10:04 No.77830130 >See cute girl I've seen for a while doing some leg extensions >Go into locker room and get changed into gym clothes >Start doing pull ups on pull up bar >She comes over and starts doing curls next to me with 4kg dumbbells >I do a couple sets >I look over >She looks at me and smiles >I think I may as well practice my social skills >I say "hey, what's your name" >She tells me her name and we start talking >We have a bit of banter and she literally did the zoomer "Light skin stare" with her finger in an L shape on her chin and said "I like your tattoos" >I say thanks and we talk some more >She then asks me if I do Coke >I say no >She giggles and say she does coke on the weekends but she "LOVES WEED, that's my go to" >I immediately don't want to talk to her anymore >Say some s--- like "yeah I gotta go and train some triceps, I'll see you around" Felt good that I actually approached a girl for the first time in a year. But didn't feel good to know that the cute girl I've been crushing for a while is a druggie.

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Stone Age Flex Quarry Worker’s Dream Life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/24(Mon)05:54:09 No.200181126 flintstonesarch-main.jpg 53 KB JPG >an illiterate quarry worker in 10,000bc was able to afford this house and a car, with a stay at home wife and a daughter its over

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Anon has a game idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/13(Wed)23:09 No. 185991865 Replies: >>185992095 >>185992185 >>185992341 >>185993112 >>185993696 >>185993770>>185994592 >>185994742 File: 1366254541340.jpg-(3 KB, 124x124, 1364189558850s.jpg) >make a game with absolutely no opening intro, plot, backstory, or anything >start the game, immediately places you in an empty house >you walk around examining things but cant actually really do anything >you can go outside and into the lawn and walk around >most would get disgusted with the game and turn it off >the next time it is turned on, as opposed to only allowing it to be daylight for the first time it is opened, the rest of the game will be in night time, and nothing can change this, no brightness settings will be included in the settings >players will suddenly find out they are given the ability to open things, but only open things >after the first 5 minutes, a small square will appear in the top right corner of the players screen, and it will show an outside view of the house from something elses perspective >the view will slowly approach the house, ever so slightly >the player is given the option to open the curtains and doors to the outside, but doing so will cause the view in the square to speed up immensely while the door/blind is open >the player will be visible from the square screen moving around the house >as the view approached the door, it doesn't open it, and it is out of view from all windows >small white text appears in the center view of the player >'Open the door'

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First Day on the Job Martini Mishap at Team Lunch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 150 KB AVIF 6/23/2024, 11:55:56 AM No.85882866 > Be me > First day at new job > Want to make a good impression > Boss invites me to team lunch > Nervous but excited > Sit down at restaurant > Everyone orders drinks > Decide to go fancy, order a martini > Waiter looks at me weird but brings it > Try to look sophisticated, take a sip > Realize I've never had a martini before > Tastes like gasoline > Try not to gag, accidentally knock over glass > Martini spills all over the table > Everyone stares > Boss bursts out laughing > "First martini, huh?" > Turn bright red, nod awkwardly > Boss pats me on the back, orders me a soda > Rest of lunch goes smoothly > Leave restaurant feeling like a fool > At least I made an impression

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Damn....... | /r/Greentext

>>503677519 (OP) I've dated 2 girls i met from mmos. we just happened to live in the same city and met up, and it just clicked so we kept at it. dated one for 6 months the other for 3 years. first one I broke up with cause she kept blowing off our dates, and that just always pisses me off. second girl died of cancer. Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17 20:50 No. 503679183 503679380 hu 1422640493_2816201342.jpg (86 KB, 1920x1080) >>503678250 Sad to hear she passed away anon. Did she at least drop any good loot? Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:22:31 No.503679380 03679775 >>503679863 >>503679936>>503680140 >>503680157 3679584 3679626 03680298>>503680323 03680792 >>503680935 >>503681150 >>503681212 >>503681226 >>503681394>>503681519 03681802503881816 >>503681935 >>503681954 >>503682016 >>503679183 just a ring that lost its all of its enchantment. Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:24:21 No.503679584 e: sko.jpg (6 KB, 250x250) >>503679380 Jesus f--- man

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New Values | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Boomers IT ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/23/24(Sun)17:02:50 No.77931165 SKODA RICHMOND SHODA 907 KB PNG >Be a Boomer >Buy a new car for 40k on 4 year finance >Run it into the ground for 4 years >Complain about the resale value Are the stupid? Do they not know basic math or something? SKODA

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Remember, they're a modern stone age family | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/17/24(Mon)05:54:09 No.200181126 flintstonesarch-main.jpg 53 KB JPG >an illiterate quarry worker in 10,000bc was able to afford this house and a car, with a stay at home wife and a daughter its over

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Anon isn't gay | /r/Greentext

- File: I hate my life.jpg (153 KB, 935x827) I'm a fat aren't i? Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)16:57:02 No.77928290 [Reply] >Be me >>779289272-77928941: >Theyhavenofuckingidea.png >He kisses me >Go to this club with friends >See this guy (yes, a guy) who looked like a f------ female, blonde hair, dressed kinda like a emo (who i actually have a huge kink about) EXTREMELY feminine face and light eyes (i didn't notice if they were blue or green) >Approach him (who i thought it was a she) >Told me he's a male, and he's actually gay >Totallyhornyasfuckidontcaretbh.jpg >Tell him i'm actually bisexual (i'm not) >He start to get flirty with me, and touchy. >While dancing, he starts to touch my d---. >My friends see all this scene, and give me a thumbs up. >Whisper in my ear that he wants "more" >Follow him, we went outside the club >We get in this parking lot, and he start to suck my d---. >It was f------ diamond. >He gives me a condom that he had in his pocket, and i start to pound his ass >A f------ nice ass, but then i remembered that it was a guy >I hate the idea that this... thing that i was f------ had a d---, so i think to myself that he's a female. >He actually moaned like a female, not even in a manly way >I c-- extreamly quickly >He chuckles, remove the condom and swallows all the c-- that there was in it, and he starts to clean up my d--- as well. >After finishing to clean it up, he kisses me, and he went away. (Not even in the club, just f------ vanished) >Went back in the club, my friends thinks that i've f----- a 10/10 female. >It was actually a male. I mean, it's not gay until you put a d--- in your ass right? I hate my life, i hate being f------ homy. 3 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.

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The duality of man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)10:52:34 No.920301824 hows bouts a doughnut fren! 49 KB JPG : Anonymous ill take them all thanks >>920301997 # 06/23/24(Sun)10:53:54 No.920301863 : Anonymous f--- your doughnuts 06/23/24(Sun)10:56:26 No.920301950

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Anon goes to the vet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 126 KB JPG Kekekeke.jpeg 06/22/24(Sat)21:22:49 No.77922782 >Be me >Take dog to vet >Vet gives me a tube >"We're gonna need some of your dogs poop." >At home waiting for dog to poo Devious idea.mp69 >Put in some of my poo >Hand it in to vet >Receive results a week later Mfw it says tested postive for parasites.

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My dad is proud of me and he can't admit it | /r/Greentext

78 KB JPG video games) >Be 19 >Huge tank and history fan >Big fan of scale modelling (much prefer building them than playing >Buy one every week or two >Actually work at retail so it's my own money >Everytime I come back home from the hobby shop my dad gives me the same look and speech "Another one? When will you f------ grow up" FF about three days ago >Working on a Sherman Ic Firefly in 1:35 scale >Just done finishing a bit and decide to go to bed >Passes by my dad's room >Hear him speaking on the phone about me "He buys so much models but the thing is that I can't even blame the f----- because he's actually f------ good at it" >Sleep like I've never slept before Love you dad

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Anon writes My Hero Academia fanfiction. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Thu 26 Apr 2018 18:04:06 No. 172060416 Quoted By: >>172060496 >>172060501 >>172060658 >>172060688 >>172061199 >Deku comes home from a long day of work >it's Friday, and Ochako is nervous because she knows what that means >she makes all of her clothes weightless in preparation and greets Deku nervously at the door >she's been cheating, and Deku doesn't like it when she does >Deku says nothing, and slings her over his shoulder like a caveman >he takes her to the bathroom, and puts her on a scale >sweat beads down Ochako's face as she watches the number climb >50.001 kg >she'd had lunch with the girls earlier that day, making sure to stay within the diet plan Deku set for her >she tried to refuse the mint when the waiter offered it, but she was weak >Deku glares at her like a man who is mad >Ochako whimpers and shrinks back >"CARDIFF..." >"Deku, please, it was just a wafer-thin mint..." >"SMASH!" >Deku punched her in the stomach at 2%. Not enough to seriously injure her, but enough to make her throw up everything, even the mint >there were tears in her eyes and pain panged through her body >she even p----- herself a little because of course she did >he made her get back up on the scale >she couldn't stand up straight, but she could stand >her vision was too blurry to see the number, but it started with a 4 >she was safe, for now >"don't let it happen again" >Deku walks out >Ochako drops to the floor and cries in the puddle of her own vomit >she'll be going to bed on an empty stomach tonight

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Greentext Stories - The infinite goon | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 06/19/24(Wed)16:25:20 No.200262747 1715204769131355.jpg 103 KB JPG >Rubbing one off was the sane thing to do. Too many choices, not enough time. And when we faced exhaustion, I offered a solution. >Edging >At random. Dispassionate, fair to 2D and 3D alike. They called me a mad man. And what I predicted came to pass. >Congratulations, you're a coomer >I'm a gooner >Who wants to edge endlessly >With all the hours of edging, I could simply snap my fingers, and all the c-- would gush out. I call that...relief. >And then what? >I finally rest, and see the latest drama on twitter

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