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Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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: Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)22:08:34 No.784190163 >>784189907 >be me >also from Cuba >decide to swim to America >jump into ocean >pringles in my pocket in case I get hungry >doinwell.jpg >get hungry after about a half hour >pull out pringles >cap flies off >pringles everywhere >f---.exe >see a shark fin >them n----- like pringles >shark n---- eats all my pringles >starts to come after me >swim the f--- away >shark catches up >bites my leg right the f--- off >about to go for my arm when I see a US coast guard boat >they carry me aboard >pass out >come to a couple hours later in back of grimy American boat >"hey, you're finally awake" >look at the officers nametag >"Todd Howard" not again >>784190258 #

Anonymous 182 KB JPG 02/11/25(Tue)21:45:58 No.702710239 >written to be empowered "anti- male gaze" lesbian protagonists by neil cuckmann >i still want to gaze at them

Anonymous HEY GARDI I KNOW YOU LIKE THE LIPSTICKS TO TEST YOU BUY. BUT COULD YOU PLEASE STOP? I CAN'T FEEL MY CHEEK ANYMORE Mwah JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE MASTER YOU TOLD ME THE SAME THING AN HOUR AGO. I REALLY NEED TO DO THE DINNER SHOPPING. DON'T WORRY, I'LL CALL FOR PIZZA. ♡♡ Mwah SIGH*... OK... 00 02/10/25(Mon)22:28:05 No.702688473 **Mwah ♡♡♡ Mwah 653 KB PNG >so why did you become a pokemon trainer? >oh you know, just my career path... much

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Anon loves to troll | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Autistic Workmates 88 KB PNG within 1 week 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer >also autist >obviously we befriend eachother >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCs from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up

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Anon got a high score | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.23 MB PNG >10/50 >be me 03/03/23(Fri)10:35:20 No.72432941 >reading thread about autism >see link to an autism quotient test >do it knowing well that I'm autistic >42/50 >say to myself "this can't be right, I'm not that autistic" >wife takes the test >colleague from work who clearly is autistic takes test >21/50 >I guess I really am that autistic link for anyone who asks https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum- quotient Anonymous >>72432941 (OP) # >I got 29 03/03/23(Fri)10:37:53 No.72432957 >someone with 42 has a wife Yeah, I don't think my issue is autism >>72433454 #

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Edge Of The Empire | /r/Greentext

Looksmax.org Aesthetics nan I HAVE NEVER SEEN A VAGINA 1719805379832818.png 110 KB PNG MY MANIFESTO I CAN'T BREED by: Chuddy boy >be me >3/4 of the young men in family are retarded >one cousin is a full blown neet >punches holes in the wall, sleeps all day, spends all night playing vidya >no friends or gf >bunks at grandma's because aunt kicked him out >other cousin is nearly thirty and obsessed with sonic >moderates a sonic RP server >wears shirts with his OC on them in public >at least he's had a job >and me, in job and education, but to retarded to form relationships with women >only normal one is my little brother >keeps in shape, plays guitar, and got a gf at 15 >realize entire lineage hinges on a 15 year old kid

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anon expresses pro-choice views and gets reasoned, measured responses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: u+vR0QhW | 07/18/24(Thu)22:05:59 No.474777524 >>474778351 >>474778444 >>474778460 >>474778506 >>474778518 >>474778523 >>474778534 >>474778576 >>474778634 >>474778813 >>474778882 >>474778993 >>474779271 >>474779364 >>474779379 >>474779493 >>474779997 >>474780041 >>474780578 >>474780690 >>474780834 >>474781714 >>474782203 >>474782306 >>474782383 >>474782443 >>474782460 >>474782503 >>474782570 >>474782620 >>474782661 >>474782741 >>474783238 >>474783486 >>474783603 >>474783746 >>474783770 >>474784373 >>474784583 >>474784660 >>474784732 >>474784859 >>474784893 >>474784910 >>474785833 >>474785856 >>474787876 >>474788358 >>474789057 >>474789531 >>474789892 >>474789983 >>474790412 >>474790523 >>474790544 >>474790936 >>474791472 >>474791554 >>474791762 >>474791816 >>474792140 >>474792230 >>474792367 >>474792458 >>474793145 >>474793292 >>474793718 >>474793728 >>474793849 >>474793921 >>474794050 >>474794059 >>474794112 >>474794376 >>474794489 >>474794600 >>474794744 >>474794878 >>474795223 >>474795269 >>474795334 >>474795739 >>474796364 >>474796715 >>474796730 >>474796999 >be femanon >be the only sex that can make babies >literally manufacture the baby from scratch in my body >the man contributes nothing except some raw materials >it's a painful and stressful process that takes 9 goddamn months >can't get drunk, high, or take any psychoactive drugs without damaging the product >be Republicunt man >think that I deserve to decide whether the w---- factory is allowed to cancel production of the baby I mean I'm all for a lil sexism, but do you retarded conservatives not realize how uncivilized it is to force women to make their bodies factories? Anonymous (ID: 81h2wcnY | 07/18/24(Thu)22:08:06 No.474777859 Well, you can swallow my swimmers instead if you don't want to worry about that. Anonymous (ID: Lu4juNLf) 07/18/24(Thu)22:12:15 No.474778518 File: 1713026829809728.jpg (80 KB, 540x638) to grid of Cute looks hard >>474777524 (OP) We're getting closer to robowaifus and artificial wombs. Soon you'll be completely worthless. Anonymous (ID: 7jAZQ7On) 07/18/24(Thu)22:12:58 No.474778634 >>474777524 (OP) Shut up bitch. In real life you would just defer to me like every other woman I've ever met. Anonymous (ID: QbvyZkFz 07/18/24(Thu)22:14:36 No.474778882 >>474794978 >>474777524 (OP) >be femanon >have unprotected sex with 100s of men >create life >kill it, because you don't want to take responsibility >repeat I don't partially care about abortions, but don't act like you have some god given right to turn your vagina into a cemetery Anonymous (ID: ND4MiRD9 I 07/18/24(Thu)22:22:39 No.474780041 >>474777524 (OP). Artificial wombs. Al companions. Fuckable robo waifus. Replace women entirely. Let them go do, what ever the f--- it is they want to do. Only raise sons. Become interplanetary. Thank you for listening to my public service announcement. Anonymous (ID: aD88A6yl $ 07/18/24(Thu)22:39:15 No.474782503 >>474777524 (OP) Do you know how comically retarded it is for a lifeform that is so weak and dependent and pathetic as a woman to rule over a man? Any average man can kill the strongest woman effortlessly. You only have rights because men are defending those rights. You only have civilization because men have built you a civilization. If it was up to your fellow women to defend you, you'd be crushed as fast as Afghanistan fell.

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Real talk, what would you do in this situation? | /r/Greentext

Anonymage 12/07/14 (Sun) 15:16:18 No.94775 >>94778 >>94786 >>94788 >>94797 >>94807 >>94819 >>94825 >>94837 >>94841 >>94842 >>94861 >>94862 >>94863 >>94894 File: 1417965378474.png (985.47 KB, 1024x768, P1000585.png) >birthday HAFTU >suddenly our waiter appears >he's carrying a cake >tell family I don't want to do anything special >they know I hate being the center of attention and flounder badly in social situations of any kind >force me to go out for dinner with them >go to restaurant >8 family members in total including me >everyone talks among themselves animatedly during the meal >nobody talks to me during the meal despite the occasion ostensibly being my birthday >sit quietly and eat my meal >feel uncomfortable that I am so obviously not fitting in >mother and step-dad fighting and being passive aggressive to each other >mother drinking too much >meal nearly finished up >happy that I'll be able to go home soon >whole restaurant's wait-staff is accompanying him singing "Happy Birthday" >rest of the restaurant all look around and some tables join in, looking at me and singing >he puts the cake down in front of me >it's a custom-made cake that my mother has requested be made for me >cake is adorned with a lone, glum, pale figure hunched over an inedible plastic computer meant to represent me >drunk mother laughing heartily >try my best to put on a smile so as not to appear rude >everyone takes pictures of the cake next to me >family forces me to cut the cake >they laugh at me for "cutting the cake weird"; "haha look at how he cuts the cake" >meal ends >go home Pic related, it's the cake. HAPPY Z T

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Another day, another _____? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 356 KB JPG 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" >mfw, it's actually a chick >mfw, I got reversed traped

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text your mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 340 KB PNG 07/20/24(Sat)23:12:12 No. 78224529 >mother frequently texts me asking me how im doing/how much she loves me >usually don't bother to reply because lazy f--- >she died recently >open text messages >the last message she ever sent was "Miss you baby" which i ignored h-------- i feel like a f------ monster right now

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The Chosen Hypocrite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/24(Fri)12:18:01 No.201215063 From my point of view the Jedi are evil >murders children >strangles wife 1696694969225967.gif 477 KB GIF >"Personally I think you guys are the bad guys actually, not me"

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Spanish or Italian Blood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous NORF-FC 133 KB PNG >Be me >British tourist >Go to Argentina 07/20/24(Sat) 19:03:27 No. 199988678 >Convo with one guy >Asks where I'm from >Says the UK >He starts yelling at me >Spits on me w-- did I do to deserve this? Last time I checked, it was the Spannys who colonised Argentina initially. Then the Argentinians ruined it. S------- country anyway. 0/10.

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Anon is skibidipilled and gyattmaxxing | /r/Greentext

Did Skibidi Toilet just BTFO modern children's cartoons? Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)13:49:47 No.144567995 >>144568024 >>144568377 >>144570530 >>144571412 >>144571779 >>144571845 >>144572650 >>144572782 >>144572830 >>144572888 >>144572897 >>144573321 >>144575437 >>144575686 >>144578033 >>144578039 >>144581480 >>144582008 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-ZXraMeHBPJHXBhrNowJaQslyqtUg-tZ >Shorter episodes bring more viewer retention >Much cheaper and easier to animate >Has a silly and fun story that any age group can enjoy >Requires no serious thinking to understand, just watch it and you get everything that's going on >Doesn't require "theorizing" to figure out the worldbuilding >Almost no worldbuilding so children can actually enjoy it without just feeling confused >No "complex" character moments like "realistic depictions of panic attacks" or people crying all the time >Lighthearted, always something funny going on >Isn't trying to force politics that children don't need, such as gender identity or sexuality >Uses existing characters in interesting ways that reinvents them >Insanely more popular than any childrens cartoon currently existing Where is YOUR evidence to back up your ridiculous claims about Skibidi Toilet? By all means, watch the full series. I promise that you can't deny it. >inb4 someone says it's for babies (and your cartoons aren't?) >inb4 someone says it's lazy for using pre-existing assets (but outsourcing all your animation to Korean sweatshops is fine?) >inb4 someone calls me underage >inb4 someone says only someone with ADHD can watch it >inb4 someone says that messages about gender identity and sexuality matter for children >inb4 someone calls it annoying (like your cartoons with high pitched voices and constant crying aren't?) >inb4 "sage" because /co/ons are triggered by a different opinion Keep the discussion on topic and don't do anything that is mentioned above in the inb4 section. You should be open minded and watch the series instead and discuss it with SPECIFIC EXAMPLES. I'm open to having my mind changed. But only with reliable and specific examples that explain why Skibidi Toilet is apparently worse than modern cartoons.

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Anon plays Dwarf Fortress | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/05/12(Sat)21:08 No.5080260 File: 1336266505.jpg-(22 KB, 549x471, 1332115464200..jpg) >have the urge to play DF again after several months >load up this 200+ fort I had(probably the largest ever >suddenly I cant remember what THE F--- I was doing last >see some walls built in places that dont make any f------ sense >have a gazzillion gorillas in a 5x5 pasture >my mayor is chained up outside for no reason >I have someones pet pig chained up on the edge of the map >over 30 trogolodytes in my zoo >I had sent my 4 military squads underground to kill a kea >a f------ kea >underground >to top it off my legendary carpenter his knees shattered in the hospital >there are no reports thats show what the f--- happened I have absolutely no clue whats going on Anonymous 05/05/12(Sat)21:10 No.5080353 File: 1336266606.png-(556 KB, 600x600, 1257598221597.png) SLAVES TO CHAPT DWARE FORTRESS >>5080260 Sounds like your fortress is running smoothly, I'm not sure what the problem is.

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Puff your problems away | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous smoker logic 351 KB JPG 07/20/24(Sat) 15:04:32 No.78216657 >person finds button >there is a sign above the button that says "Pushing this will harm your health drastically" >it's one of the most commonly known facts in the medical world that pushing the Lifespan Erasure Button will harm your health >this person likely knows several people who have died early because they pushed the button >"ohhhh it's just so hard to not push the button" >pushes the button

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Greentext Stories - The truth they tried to hide | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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