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1707968605656715.png (2.62 MB, 1088x1078) google yandex iqdb wait KE N Can ☐ Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:21:42 No.201643119 >>201644245 >>201644921 >>201650243 >>201654842 >>201663771 >>201666716 Chef... table 7 has asked for another hamburger... Anonymous Anonymousv Anonymous Anonymous >>201644082 >>201644135 ☐ Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:46:15 No.201644022 >>201644177 >>201644288 >>201644836 >>201647086 >>201647117 >>201650036 >>201655059 >>201657747 >>201658616 >>201660020 >>201661445 >>201661995 >>201662059 >>201664359 >>201666366 >>201666546 >>201666649 >>201666949 Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:47:24 No.201644070 Normal people making a grilled cheese >Butter Bread >Add cheese >Put on frying pan and cook until golden brown >*Eat* >"Mmm, taste like childhood." Chefs making grilled cheese I've never seen such a transparent shilling campaign as this h--------, every day 50 bear threads. I'll never watch it btw, not even pirated. F--- you. Buy an ad. ✓ >>201663413 >>201663675 >>201666975 (Dead). >"THE PAN IS AT 213.67 DEGREES THE PERFECT TEMPERATURE FOR SANDWICH AU FROMAGE FONDU WHERE THE F--- IS MY BREAD?!?!" >"RIGHT HERE CHEF" >"The f--- is this? THE F--- IS THIS?!? IS THIS BREAD FROM A GROCERY STORE?!?! YOU ONLY USE BREAD MADE FROM ANCIENT GRAINS GROWN SPECIFICALLY ON THE EAST SIDE OF THE NILE RIVER IN EGYPT! GET THE F--- OUT OF MY KITCHEN! GET OUT!" >"Chef! I have your cheese prepped for you!" >"THIS IS SLICED AMERICAN CHEESE YOU F------ MORON! WHERE IS THE HIMALAYAN CHEESE MILKED FROM THE SACRED TEMPLE YAK THAT IS THE STANDARD IN ANY SELF RESPECTING KITCHEN! OUT OF MY KITCHEN NOW!" >"GIVE ME THE COLOR CHART! WE HAVE TO MATCH THE BREAD TO THE COLOR CHART TO MAKE SURE ITS PERFECTLY BROWNED! ANY BROWNER AND THEY'LL TAKE AWAY ALL MY STARS AND I'LL BE FORCED TO PAY FULL PRICE FOR MY TIRES!!!" >*Everyone stops what they are doing and stands in complete silence as the Chef takes a bite before somberly hanging his apron.* >"...Who the f--- buttered this? Everyone knows you do not butter a grilled cheese, you place the bread in a $25,000 humidifier until the bread becomes moist off its own hydrated yeast. You have all failed me, I have failed you. Get your knives, we must perform Seppuku before the Marco Pierre White shrine out the back. Do not look him in the eyes, for his gaze is that of shame for this kitchen."

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I'm tired Markiplier - 6.5M views • 10 days ago 20240322_214300.png 324 KB PNG >I GOTTA PLAY VIDEO GAMES ONCE A WEEK AND MAKE MILLIONS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I'M GOING INSANE 6:55

File: IMG_1723.jpg (89 KB, 950x950) > after a while he answers less and less > buys a phone that only has calls on it Miss my friend Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)10:29:50 No.32338271 >>32340765 >>32340815 >>32340988 >>32340998 > be me > move to a new city and switch schools just before 4th grade > thissucks.png > first day of class > sit next to some random dude > teacher starts roll call > calls his name just before mine >mfw we become friends >mfw we stayed friends since then up to the end of hs >mfw he's one of mine if not my best friend > 11th grade starts > becomes extremely religious (this happened over the course of HS) > decides to leave school and become completely religious > sad to see him go but keep in contact cuz I love my friend > goes to a monastery to be completely isolated > loose contact as he's completely obsessed with religion and scripture and cannot talk about anything else and also cannot accept nor hear any opinion other than the one his religious sect deems right (we're both religious) > last time we talked felt like talking to a stranger, completely different then my old friend >mfw I lost a friend just like that > ffs today > be bored at work > decide to read our old chats > makes me tear up I miss you bro How do you cope with this? He was such a good friend and it still hurts

: Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat) 13:53:30 No.196821808 >when the media literacy kicks and the giant man-eating insects are actually the good guys 69 KB JPG

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When you lack patience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/24(Tue)21:10:32 No. 201357187 the mist.jpg 62 KB JPG >the car ran out of gas so I'm going to kill my son >oh well 5 minutes later the army comes to the rescue couldn't he wait a while? until they run out of food or something

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Man was committed | /r/Greentext

So lets get this straight >almost dies playing vidya and has to fight his way out >gets back to reality >goes back in another one

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anon composes a poem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 15 KB JPG 07/24/21(Sat)20:26:33 No.62728875 a poem >There once was a surgeon named Keith >Who circumcised men with his teeth >'Twas not for leisure, or sexual pleasure >But to get at the cheese underneath thank you

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Anons figured it out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)01:19:33 No.78256506 > becomes t----- > grooms minors Every time. 1.51 MB PNG

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General Kenobi, you are a bold one | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >Yeah >Meet autistic girl >Shes just like me omg >Really into sci fi, ok >Go on date >She keeps talking about internet stuff >Touch on anime >She suddenly asks what is a husbando and if its like a male waifu >Says her first husbando was General Grievous and how super cool he was >Conversation derails >Reveals to me she has a robot fetish and wishes she couls change her body to be taller and stronger and prettier What do I do now that was super awkward and I have no way to respond

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American logic in a nutshell | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: KT1UNSSO 07/16/24(Tue)16:45:17 No.474424881 IMG_0240.jpg 66 KB JPG >USA >20 year old >can't legally drink >can assassinate the president This is America.

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Anon gets scarred for life | /r/Greentext

8:18 Anonymous 7 days ago 80% 19128469 Worked at Long Johns in high school and outside the deaths of loved ones it was the most traumatic experience of my life. >rats, mice, roaches they'd fall into the fryers and our manager/owner would tell us to scoop em out and toss em >oil wasn't replaced often, maybe once a month >mold in soda machine >one of the senior cooks was a developmentally disabled guy; cool dude but prone to violent outbursts, racial epithets, self-harm, threats, with a grade school education >no idea who took care of him or how he even got to work, he was just there when I'd arrive and he always stayed late >maybe manager's pet, no f------ idea >he'd also grope the female employees (all of whom quit because I'd tell them it wasn't safe for them) >was also at the outskirts of town and there was a cleaner, better one near the city center so no excuse to even go to ours >but we had regulars and I just kept my head down, tried to keep things clean, avoided the retarded cook as much as I could, and never ate there >go to work one day after school >lights are on, can see the fryers are on, but the doors are locked and nobody is answering my knocks or the phone inside >manager's has a regular window, decide to see if I can open it from the outside >the fryers were going, place could burn down >get to the window, see my manager f------ the retard on the floor of his office >get spooked, but in my hurry I kicked up some gravel and s--- Decided to go back an hour later. It's really tense. Get through my shift and I'm helping the retard close. He's turning off the fryers, I walk by him to start counting off the register and he just dunks his head right into the oil. His skin slid right off his face and neck and the worst part is he doesn't even scream, he just making this god awful gargling sound like he's swallowed two lungs of water. Called 9/11. I never went back. Never asked for my last paycheck. Took me a year to even tell somebody else what happened and I still smell and hear the moment. 16 REPLIES Anonymous 6 days ago 19128520 F2E522C6-6EEE-485A-BD09-29CCE67561FB.png (1,015.2

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Anon is speedrunning death | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 03/14/23(Tue)21:00:22 No.181774035 ► >>181774108 >>181774152 >>181774718 >>181775117 >>181775122 >>181775256 >>181775316 >>181775355 >>181775678>>181776729 >>181776842 >>181778614 >>181778809 >>181779133 >>181779171 >>181780085>>181781258 >>181768756 (OP) # Here is what i ate yesterday. I weigh 648 lbs. 100% serious. I am obese. >breakfast Aunt jemima pancakes with chocolate chips qnd coco pebbles mixed in with chocolate syrup instead of syrup, 12 slices of bacon, 2 jimmy dean delights and a glass of chocolate milk >lunch 2 popeyes chicken sandiches with extra mayo whichi add myself. A family size bag of cheetos puffs, 2 large blizzards a a 24 oz dr pepper >dinner 100 ct pizza rolls with crumbled bacon, nacho cheese and crushed ranch doritos, 3 xxl char broiled cheese burgers and 4 packs of curly fries. A glass of butter with nesquick mixed in. A pack of swiss cake rolls for desert >snacks 2 boxes of fruit by the foot 48 scround blue bunny mint ice cream Ramen noodles Chips ahoy peanut butter

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Anon wants to share his idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1763244175 >be 13 >started masturbating at this age >feels f------ amazing >think I invented it 2 hr. ago ... >WHY DOES NOBODY KNOW ABOUT THIS!? I NEED TO TELL THE PEOPLE!!! >family cookout >grandma, papa, auntie, cousins, parents, everyone is there >go to every table and when they ask me what I've been up to eagerly tell them about how f------ amazing it feels to blow my load and how they should do it >everyone is naturally sketched out >my parents catch wind of my m----------- ramblings >dad takes me inside and has to explain like I'm an autist how it's not right to tell nana and pepaw how I j------- in the tub >the shame fills my soul >I still have times where I lay awake at night and wonder w-- I was thinking 3 REPLIES

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The government has bamboozled me, and now other people and me are going to pay the price for my assured incompetence | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [☐ Auto] File: stressed americano.jpg (36 KB, 888x522) [Advertise on 4chan] ☐ I hate myself with every fiber of my being Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)01:56:30 No. 11659861 >be me >be 22 >enlisted into armed forces as an intelligence analyst >thought that I would finally find something that I can excel in since I assumed intel involves forensics, creativity, critical thinking and pattern recognition, which I find interesting >thought that I'll also find a community of weird f---- who enjoy their work and share a sense of camaraderie >"hey, I'll finally found a successful career and be an important man as a subject matter expert that no one else can challenge" >turns out I need to manage people as well, which I'm horrible at >my superiors keep critiquing that I'm too slow in my assessment >I also have to multitask a lot of crap (I can't) and assume irrelevant appointments I didn't sign up for (like facility management) >when I wake up sometimes, I feel like puking and hiding under my blanket, but I can't because I have too much work to finish, and I want to prove to myself that I'm not a p---- >but mfw when I'm starting to feel burnt out and demoralized >mfw when I feel cheated >my colleagues don't like me at all, they all think I'm a weirdo >nobody here wants to be friends with me, they tolerate me at best >sometimes, I can hear within earshot of them commenting negatively about me >"anon is not normal" >"anon is going to screw things up" >"anon is awkward and hard to talk to" >"anon is naive and shouldn't have joined up" My seniors are redeploying to different units, and that means I'm going to become a platoon sergeant soon. I've been in the unit for less than 8 months, and I'm going to be responsible for 20+ men. I don't think I'm ready for that kind of responsibility. F--- man, I just wanted to be a desk jockey who analyzes data and research I can feel the upcoming storm of clusterfucks that's going to birth during my 1st tour. I'm scared to hell that I can't fill those big shoes I need to wear. There are better leaders than me out there, I shouldn't be here. People are going to suffer because of my incompetence W-- do i do now? 0/0/1

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I ain't never seen a snickers overdose | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKER SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKER proNERS SNICKERS SNICKEND SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNIUKEND SNICKER SMOKERS SNICKERS Carnly Warehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold

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Anon gets a knock at the door | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: OPOhoMKY 07/23/24(Tue)07:51:52 No.475331740 DILL FRIB A CRIL CHIN Ready to die for the joos.jpg >Knock at the door 128 KB JPG >"Hey there anon! We're with the U.S marines" >"President Kamal has made the draft mandatory, so come with us soldier!" How do you respond without sounding mad?

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Greentext Stories - DUDE YOU CANT JUST COME IN AT 11:59 ITS NOT HECKIN' WHOLESOME 30% TIP CHUNGUS!!! | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

1707968605656715.png (2.62 MB, 1088x1078) google yandex iqdb wait KE N Can ☐ Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:21:42 No.201643119 >>201644245 >>201644921 >>201650243 >>201654842 >>201663771 >>201666716 Chef... table 7 has asked for another hamburger... Anonymous Anonymousv Anonymous Anonymous >>201644082 >>201644135 ☐ Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:46:15 No.201644022 >>201644177 >>201644288 >>201644836 >>201647086 >>201647117 >>201650036 >>201655059 >>201657747 >>201658616 >>201660020 >>201661445 >>201661995 >>201662059 >>201664359 >>201666366 >>201666546 >>201666649 >>201666949 Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:47:24 No.201644070 Normal people making a grilled cheese >Butter Bread >Add cheese >Put on frying pan and cook until golden brown >*Eat* >"Mmm, taste like childhood." Chefs making grilled cheese I've never seen such a transparent shilling campaign as this h--------, every day 50 bear threads. I'll never watch it btw, not even pirated. F--- you. Buy an ad. ✓ >>201663413 >>201663675 >>201666975 (Dead). >"THE PAN IS AT 213.67 DEGREES THE PERFECT TEMPERATURE FOR SANDWICH AU FROMAGE FONDU WHERE THE F--- IS MY BREAD?!?!" >"RIGHT HERE CHEF" >"The f--- is this? THE F--- IS THIS?!? IS THIS BREAD FROM A GROCERY STORE?!?! YOU ONLY USE BREAD MADE FROM ANCIENT GRAINS GROWN SPECIFICALLY ON THE EAST SIDE OF THE NILE RIVER IN EGYPT! GET THE F--- OUT OF MY KITCHEN! GET OUT!" >"Chef! I have your cheese prepped for you!" >"THIS IS SLICED AMERICAN CHEESE YOU F------ MORON! WHERE IS THE HIMALAYAN CHEESE MILKED FROM THE SACRED TEMPLE YAK THAT IS THE STANDARD IN ANY SELF RESPECTING KITCHEN! OUT OF MY KITCHEN NOW!" >"GIVE ME THE COLOR CHART! WE HAVE TO MATCH THE BREAD TO THE COLOR CHART TO MAKE SURE ITS PERFECTLY BROWNED! ANY BROWNER AND THEY'LL TAKE AWAY ALL MY STARS AND I'LL BE FORCED TO PAY FULL PRICE FOR MY TIRES!!!" >*Everyone stops what they are doing and stands in complete silence as the Chef takes a bite before somberly hanging his apron.* >"...Who the f--- buttered this? Everyone knows you do not butter a grilled cheese, you place the bread in a $25,000 humidifier until the bread becomes moist off its own hydrated yeast. You have all failed me, I have failed you. Get your knives, we must perform Seppuku before the Marco Pierre White shrine out the back. Do not look him in the eyes, for his gaze is that of shame for this kitchen."

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