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TRUMP VANCE MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! 2024 WASHINGTON, D.C. - Senator JD Vance (R-OH), who proudly accepted the GOP nomination to be our next Vice President, issued the following statement regarding the mendacious online campaign against him: "The radical left is desperate to make this race about anything but the issues," said Senator Vance. "I reject and rebuke the scurrilous rumors circulating about me on X and other platforms. Never in my life have I had sexual relations with a couch to completion. That is a lie. Furthermore, I can assure you I have not had any bare-skin contact with a couch in over five years.." For Background: • • Senator Vance has provided documentary evidence that he has never reached completion in a couch, chair, or any other soft furnishings. Senator Vance specifically rejects the claim that he was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA for attemtping coitus with a KIVIK Sofa with Chaise, providing extensive measurements to show this would in factbe impossible gieven his measurements. ⚫ There is NO RECORD of Senator Vance having sex with melons, Jell-O, or other assorted foodstuffs. ###

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Origin Entry: J.D. Vance Couch Cushion Story Hoax

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J.D. Vance Couch Cushion Story Hoax - Press Release

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TRUMP VANCE MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! 2024 WASHINGTON, D.C. - Senator JD Vance (R-OH), who proudly accepted the GOP nomination to be our next Vice President, issued the following statement regarding the mendacious online campaign against him: "The radical left is desperate to make this race about anything but the issues," said Senator Vance. "I reject and rebuke the scurrilous rumors circulating about me on X and other platforms. Never in my life have I had sexual relations with a couch to completion. That is a lie. Furthermore, I can assure you I have not had any bare-skin contact with a couch in over five years.." For Background: • • Senator Vance has provided documentary evidence that he has never reached completion in a couch, chair, or any other soft furnishings. Senator Vance specifically rejects the claim that he was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA for attemtping coitus with a KIVIK Sofa with Chaise, providing extensive measurements to show this would in factbe impossible gieven his measurements. ⚫ There is NO RECORD of Senator Vance having sex with melons, Jell-O, or other assorted foodstuffs. ###

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