WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE LIZARD DEPT. - As we saw from the recent Godzilla movie and from the 847 Godzilla movies that preceded it he is one tough lizard to put down! Invariably, humanity attacks the beast with missiles, torpedoes and bombs, but none of them ever do much damage. So the next time Godzilla stomps up out of the ocean, the good guys should just kick back and use these... EASY WAYS TO DEFEAT GODZILLA INTRODUCE HIM TO THE AVERAGE AMERICAN DIET. IN NO TIME HELL BE TOO FAT AND LETHARGIC TO DESTROY ANYTHING. AIR-DROP AN ENORMOUS WIDE-SCREEN TELEVISION COMPLETE WITH FREE NETFLIX NEAR HIM. HE'LL SPEND THE NEXT TEN YEARS BINGE-WATCHING TV SHOWS. ORANGE BLACK INSTEAD OF ATTACKING WITH BATTLESHIPS, SEND A FLEET OF CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIPS AFTER HIM. SOON AFTER EATING THEM, HE'LL BE VOMITING AND SICK WITH DIARRHEA. RETCHI DISPATCH DENNIS RODMAN AS AN UNOFFICIAL U.S. AMBASSADOR TO REASON WITH HIM. Yo, bro, have you ever thought about playing basketball? I bet you could shut down LeBron! REGRETFULLY INFORM HIM THAT HIS JOB HAS BEEN OUTSOURCED TO A CHEAPER MONSTER FROM INDIA. PINK SLIP ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN MAD #528, AUG 2014 HAVE PRESIDENT OBAMA INTRODUCE A CONGRESSIONAL BILL SUPPORTING AN ATTACK BY GODZILLA, WHICH WILL ENSURE THAT REPUBLICANS IN THE HOUSE AND SENATE WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO DEFEAT IT. Work BOEHNER DECLAR ALL-OUT WAR ON. OBAMAZILLA MAKE SURE DETROIT IS THE FIRST AMERICAN CITY HE SEES. HE'LL ASSUME THE U.S. HAS ALREADY BEEN DESTROYED BY SOME OTHER MONSTER AND ATTACK CANADA INSTEAD. ONTARIO WRITER MIKE MORSE ARTIST HERMANN MEJIA 27 22

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Godzilla - 7 easy ways to defeat Godzilla

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WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE LIZARD DEPT. - As we saw from the recent Godzilla movie and from the 847 Godzilla movies that preceded it he is one tough lizard to put down! Invariably, humanity attacks the beast with missiles, torpedoes and bombs, but none of them ever do much damage. So the next time Godzilla stomps up out of the ocean, the good guys should just kick back and use these... EASY WAYS TO DEFEAT GODZILLA INTRODUCE HIM TO THE AVERAGE AMERICAN DIET. IN NO TIME HELL BE TOO FAT AND LETHARGIC TO DESTROY ANYTHING. AIR-DROP AN ENORMOUS WIDE-SCREEN TELEVISION COMPLETE WITH FREE NETFLIX NEAR HIM. HE'LL SPEND THE NEXT TEN YEARS BINGE-WATCHING TV SHOWS. ORANGE BLACK INSTEAD OF ATTACKING WITH BATTLESHIPS, SEND A FLEET OF CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIPS AFTER HIM. SOON AFTER EATING THEM, HE'LL BE VOMITING AND SICK WITH DIARRHEA. RETCHI DISPATCH DENNIS RODMAN AS AN UNOFFICIAL U.S. AMBASSADOR TO REASON WITH HIM. Yo, bro, have you ever thought about playing basketball? I bet you could shut down LeBron! REGRETFULLY INFORM HIM THAT HIS JOB HAS BEEN OUTSOURCED TO A CHEAPER MONSTER FROM INDIA. PINK SLIP ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN MAD #528, AUG 2014 HAVE PRESIDENT OBAMA INTRODUCE A CONGRESSIONAL BILL SUPPORTING AN ATTACK BY GODZILLA, WHICH WILL ENSURE THAT REPUBLICANS IN THE HOUSE AND SENATE WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO DEFEAT IT. Work BOEHNER DECLAR ALL-OUT WAR ON. OBAMAZILLA MAKE SURE DETROIT IS THE FIRST AMERICAN CITY HE SEES. HE'LL ASSUME THE U.S. HAS ALREADY BEEN DESTROYED BY SOME OTHER MONSTER AND ATTACK CANADA INSTEAD. ONTARIO WRITER MIKE MORSE ARTIST HERMANN MEJIA 27 22

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