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Anonymous Its always like this MICHAEL CRICHTON PARK 3:13/37:23 09/16/23(Sat) 14:53:56 No.651043021 Dino Crisis 2 Is Tragically Underrated sphereHunter.png 758 KB PNG >goin though retro period, playing dino crisis 2 >search youtube after gaming session >"wow a woman making an in-depth review of an autistic 23 y.o game? w-- i thought women like that just dont exist, i am in love" >google her >he is a man

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous 21 KB JPG 05/07/21(Fri)21:38:10 No.63572031 >massive 4chan data leak happens >IPs for every post are leaked >they can now all be traced back to you What do in this situation? 13 Replies/2 Images Anonymous View Thread 05/07/21(Fri)21:46:14 No.63572130 >yeah i made all those racist, sexist, antisemetic, gay shitposts. What are you going to do about it? Cry? 229 KB PNG >>63572211 # Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:47:01 No.63572143 Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:50:54 No.63572193 Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:52:37 No.63572211 >>63572130 # >No, you're just going to lose your job. >Also, you can't be within 300 meters of a school. >>63572234 # Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:54:23 No.63572234 >>63572211 # >Lose my what? >Why would i want to go to a school?

Anonymous 12/05/15(Sat)23:25:38 No.28103985>>28104247 >>28104335 >>28105658 >>28105734 >>28106936 >>28110951 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one moming and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly >KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge →KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! > asian fighting noises >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow >one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today >he smashes its head > he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house >funniest s--- I've ever seen. >he turms as red as it is possible for an asian to blush 404 the east will show no mercy today Lámalian 2011

Being a ninja isn't cool anymore Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)21:07:00 No.913102938 >Be me >Wayward kid of the 80s >Dad's an alcoholic who hates me and calls me queer >Mom's a w---- who's snorts cocaine off of men's asses. >Outside all the time >No friends. >Suddenly meet new friends >Tell me they think I'm kickass and invite me to their club. >Suspicious but don't wanna go home. >Follow them anyway >Big warehouse with bitchin' arcade games, billiard tables, and some kid smoking a cigar. >Other kids think I'm cool. >Weeks pass >Dad still hates me, Mom still a w----. >Go to clubhouse >Friends tell me this adult came by and wants to speak to me and my friends. >Guy says we're cool and gives us rad ninja outfits and weapons >Fuckyeah.jpg >Guy trains us then tells us to go stand out in an alleyway to guard it. >About to tell my friend that he saved my life >Friend then eviscerated by a big ass turtle with two swords. >FML as another pizza-smelling turtle smacks me in the head with a stick.

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Never ask the minions who they worked for in the 30s | /r/Greentext

[-] File (hide): 1740683588728p.png (187.84 KB, 917x871) Imgops File (hide): 1703704266180.png (44.25 KB, 852x994) Imgps 00 Gruson 5 minutes ago Ne10146131 [Quote] [Subscribe] [Voice Chat] >speak in a form of english that sounds like gibberish >dickride and follow around the most evil person possible >obsessed with bananas >obsessed with glasses and stubbles (their hair) >obsessed with raiding >have an evil variant that is portrayed by colder colors (purple) <speak in a form of english that sounds like gibberish <dickride and follow around the most evil person possible <obsessed with bananas <obsessed with glasses and stubbles <obsessed with raiding <have an evil variant that is portrayed by colder colors (blue)

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My innocence was a keepsake worn around my neck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/25(Tue)11:38:17 No.80747218 >had sex two times because I was being a drunk retard >Immediate yeast infection both times I think god is trying to tell me something 66 KB JPG

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Anon is constipated | /r/Greentext

Anonymous #FIBERGANG 416 KB PNG >>Be me 03/25/25(Tue)00:14:38 No.932900817 >>Extremely constipated, haven't unloaded in a few days >>Frustrated and a little over five pounds heavier >>Idea.wav >>Eat a big jar of delicious black beans, must be five cans worth >>Absolutely stuffed, painfully so >>Now the waiting game begins

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Anon has a tooth collection | /r/Greentext

File: toof.jpg (196 KB, 1836x1080) etc) ☐ Anonymous 03/24/25(Mon)16:13:00 No.80741263 [Reply] >be me >community college coomer >in love with some cutie that doesn't notice me since high school >she wants to be a dentist but we are in the same math class >be one day >>80741612 >>80741883 >>80741917 >she had her wisdom tooth removed and brought it to class to show her friend >idea.jpg >wait until the tooth is left unattended to steal it for my collection (a bitten pencil that fell off her desk in 10th grade, a small lock of hair i managed to cut when she sat in front of me once, etc >if i cant have her then i can at least have small pieces of her >walk by her desk when she's not noticing and snatch it (pic related) >be the end of class and she's asking where it is, they are looking around in case it fell >she has no idea Imao >go home and suck it while masturbating to pretend we are tongue kissing >store it in my collection box >be basically done with it, it doesn't even have the small chunks of meat in it anymore >anotheridea.jpg >decide to look like a hero by pretending i found it and make first contact with her, maybe something beautiful blossoms from there The problem is that it's missing it's original meat chunks and it's been a couple of days so I have no idea how to pull this off. I was thinking on pretending I found it on the trash can or some corner of the classroom? Help me anons, you're my only hope

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Funeral arrangement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 848 KB PNG anyways 03/24/25(Mon)22:20:11 No.80740760 >taking anthropology course in college >sat next to this girl who wore too much makeup >as the semester went on she started initiating conversation with me more and more >i wasnt having it, she wasnt my type >the final project of the semester was a report on some religion of our choice >one day she asked me out of the blue what i was doing my project on >i told her i was studying jainism >she said she was studying wicca (basically witches) >acted like i misheard her and thought she said "waco" >asked her if she knew what it was >she didnt >explained to her how the seige in waco was basically a legal massacre conducted by the fbi in an attempt to regain public favor >she never talked to me again >could finally study in peace

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Anon takes a stand against Pokémon scalpers by... shitting himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/25(Fri)19:27:15 No.57594994 >this morning >had to go to Target early to get some s--- >bunch of retards hanging around the card section like vultures >I go join them >not because I want to buy anything, but because I ate a lot of meat and onions last night and have some nasty ass farts backed up >cut one off mid crowd. The kind you think may have ruined the underwear >leave the area >see 3 of the people there step away from the section >the rest rough it out and slurp my fart juice into their nose holes for a slightly higher chance at getting some cards >get home >underwear actually is ruined Worth it though

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Easy peasy lemon squeezy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous bills 85 KB JPG 03/24/25(Mon)21:02:41 No.80739913 >be third grader >teacher won't let me go to the bathroom >constantly piss myself >don't like school >fake foot injury >diagnosed with AMPS >cost parents thousands in medical >get out of school for a year ez

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Anon experiments with cousin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 123 KB PNG 03/23/25(Sun)23:46:36 No.80731063 >be me >firm believer in the "cousins were made to sexually experiment with each other" theory >work on my relationship with my cutie cousin and convince her to take each other's virginity >basically tell her that once it's done. we won't feel anxious about it in the future >she's so shy and such a semen demon that I end up cooming buckets >be happy about life >weeks later >she starts regretting it and having seconds thoughts about what we did >she wants to confess and tell her parents >tell her this is going to get us in trouble (especially me since we have a significant age difference which could potentially get me in legal troubles) >she doesn't listen >she says her guilt is so strong she's nauseous and puking most days >she doesn't feel like herself >sudden mood swings anons, this bitch is acting like she got possesed how tf can i force her to shut the f--- up, im actually losing my s--- over this

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Nah, she'll be right mate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)15:37:25 No.649132216 Metro-Exodus.jpg 1.67 MB JPG >"Just be careful out there, anon. You know I worry about you." How do you respond?

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Anon likes ice cream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: /COXJQ1R) 03/24/25(Mon) 17:25:40 No.22366393 So Good Dairy-Free Vanilla Bliss 93 KB JPG >be me, 40yo hkv >Enjoy ice-cream, but decide enslaving cows is for big beef regards >Try picrel >prettygood.jpg >Eat the whole thing while watching The Avengers >Wake with the sun the next day >Take morning ritual s--- >S--- bullets, like shotgun pellets. Absolutely blasting liquid >S--- buckshot tinking through the bowl >ngl feelsgood.jpg I've bought another and just finished eating it. Only halfway through Iron Man 3. Should I have a coffee now, or wait till morning?

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Ubisoft drives anon crazy | /r/Greentext

maxresdefault.jpg (110 KB, 1280x720) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao Anonymous 24/03/25 08:44:49, 4 hours ago No.706187792 ▼ >>706187872 >>706188053 >>706188201 >>706188370 >>706190461 >>706190681 >>706190756 >>706191163 >>706191319 >>706192003 >>706193652 >>706194162 >>706195120 >>706195269 I am not crazy! I am not crazy. I know they faked those sales numbers. I know it was under 2 million. One after Mirage. As if I could ever be wrong about this garbage. Never. Never! I just, I just can't prove it. They covered their tracks, they got those shills on X to lie for them. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This fraud? They've done worse. That review bombing! Are you telling me a game just happens to get 9/10s like that? No! They paid for it! Ubisoft! They astroturfed the whole thing! And I called it out! And I shouldn't have wasted my time. I gave them a chance! What was I thinking? They'll never change. Never! Ever since AC3, always the same! Pumping out soulless cash grabs! But not our precious Ubisoft! Couldn't be our beloved Assassin's Creed! Scamming people blind! And THIS gets to sell millions? What a sick joke! I should've boycotted harder when I had the chance!

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Metal Gear Ricing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 251 KB PNG 12/23/18(Sun)15:44:51 No.443957658 HARRO SORID SNAKE YOU WAN MAKE SAVE? ANCIENT CHINESE PROVERB FOR YOU CONFUCIUS SAY: MAN WHO RUN BEHIND CAR GET EXHAUSTED, MAN WHO RUN IN FRONT CAR GET TIRED

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Greentext Stories - Fooled again Anon. | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous Its always like this MICHAEL CRICHTON PARK 3:13/37:23 09/16/23(Sat) 14:53:56 No.651043021 Dino Crisis 2 Is Tragically Underrated sphereHunter.png 758 KB PNG >goin though retro period, playing dino crisis 2 >search youtube after gaming session >"wow a woman making an in-depth review of an autistic 23 y.o game? w-- i thought women like that just dont exist, i am in love" >google her >he is a man

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