Advanced Search Protips

+10

4chan - Image #675,267

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

(30 KB, 500x500, mybedroom.jpg) Anonymous (ID: KZgsio31) 01/02/13(Wed)08:13:57 No.448014990 Replies: 448016691448016870448017810 448020664448021440448023445448023721448024091 2448027619 help me /b/ I can't sleep, pic related I see a similar ghost in the jpg that pokes its head slowly from the side of the bed and looks at me but i feel like it doesnt see me if I don't move and sometimes I get so hot and sweaty under the blanket I just want to move.. when it goes back down and disappears I hear deep voice screaming outside my window near the shed with loud banging that make the hair on my neck stand I swear to god, darwin, chuck norris I am not lying anyone got similar issues or am l seeing ghosts? I have been seeing and hearing things since l started thinking about my uncle a week ago when he died from a heart attack am not joking : ( Ps Anonymous (ID: KZgsio31) 01/02/13(Wed)08:14:56 No.448015117 Replies: >448020664 File: 1357132496199 aif-(490 KB, 500x194, 1348340749116.gif) the eves look like this > pic related Anonymous (ID: KZgsio31) 01/02/13(Wed)08:16:34 No.44801 5283 Replies: >>448016146 >>4480206642:448021057 I know this isnt the best place to seek advice but I feel like there is no one else I can talk to that believes me Several Posts later Anonymous (ID: ZRn7SPMK) 01/02/13(Wed)09:43:34 No.448025813 Replies: 22448026339 22448027784 Here's the plan OP You start on a heavy meat based diet, preferably red meat. Throw in some cabbage, beans, or turnips if you feel you might die from downing one more taco at 2 AM. Condiments help Eat an hour or less before going to bed. With what we've got planned you won't be sleeping anyway Now after a week of that diet you'll probably have some pretty horrific farts. And that's good how else to repel an unwanted invader? But repelling isn't what we want, not at all. Train yourself to hold your farts Incubate that s--- for hours at a time. Let it stew and soak up the flavors of your intestines. Once you get to the point where you're only farting once or twice a day and each fart gives you skidmarks then you know it's time to move If you have to fart after 6 PM, hold it. For all that is holy and righteous you must hold it Now the most important part, you must tape a funnel to your ass, backwards preferably When that ghost appears that night, wait for it. When it's head if fully in view position your ass. You don't want to miss with this, the repercussions would be imaginable. You will feel a pang of pain in your stomach signalling everything to fire. Move then. Whip off your blanket and face your foe. As it turns to acknowledge your usual boring ass it will be met with an unpleasant surprise A funnel shaped ass gun of death. The reaper himself is taking notes at this point Let your aim stay true, shout at it something heroic like "BEGONE FOUL CREATURE" and let loose The first thing you'll hear is like a hornet's nest increasing in sound rapidly. Your noxious gas will shoot out at speeds comparable to a jet fighter. Some have even recorded sonic booms at this point. Do not falter at release. Keep your exorcism cannon steady. The ghost should be getting the full burst of it by now Setting aflame is quite common at this stage. The ghost will be taken aback at first then it will be entirely obliterated Anonymous (ID: ZRn7SPMK) 01/02/13(Wed)09:47:44 No.448026339 >448025813 Now what happen's after? If done right your house cleansing ass burp should have sent that m------------ back to whatever damned spectral realm he wandered in from. Only now you have marked him. He is a leper of his world. He is visibly disfigured by your sleepless vengeance. He will curse your name whenever he is denied entrance to a club or turned down at a bar. You have ruined his life. Congratulations you have won the wa And the screaming out side? If they had any ounce of wisdom then they left. Fearing the all-mighty ass of smiting You also may want to take this time to repair any structural damages to your house, there should be quite a few.

View Gallery Random Image

+ Add a Comment

Comments (1)

Display Comments

Legal Information: Know Your Meme ® is a trademark of Literally Media Ltd. By using this site, you are agreeing by the site's terms of use and privacy policy and DMCA policy.
© 2007-2024 Literally Media Ltd.