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PLAYER SELECT Somebody's parent, relative or teacher who somehow got stuck playing this game. Has no idea who any of the other characters is, so he picks Mario. Alternatively, the most boring m----------- at the party MARIO Hipster c--- who thinks Mario is too "mainstream," so he goes with the lesser acknowledged Luigi. MARIO LUIGI PEACH Probably doesn't realize Luigi is literally Mario with a different coat of paint, acting as a fitting metaphor for his contrarian personality. YOSHI D.K WARIO Someone's mom or sister was forced in to playing this game, and Peach is the only racer who is actually their gender. Ultra try-hard deluxe with a constant thirst for victory no matter what the cost. His life is so meticulously tended to that even a game of Mario Kart must suit his desire to always win. Probably in the same boat as a first- rate Mario picker, but with far less potential skill PEACH As a result, he's a complete p------------, at least in terms of personality. Probably the coolest guy playing right now, this player saw a big fat Jew on the roster and thought 'yes, this is what I want to represent me while I play. AD Probably a nice kid. Reasonably friendly, considerate and even a little compassionate. He's tolerable to the point of being easy to step all over. Like a Luigi picker, but actually a good person. WARIO Somebody's younger brother. Saw a 'dwagon' when choosing his racer and gravitated toward it like a fat kid toward candy. And, without fail, he's going to grow YOSHI stoner guy who's alright to be around if you can tolerate his habit. Toked up on a 24/7 basis and eats all the snacks. Not a bad person, but expect them to drive backwards the entire race because it's funny. Logically he should be too high to drive. Yet somehow, he passively does pretty well.

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Uploaded by I AM ERROR Feb 14, 2014 at 12:16AM EST

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Origin Entry: Video Game Logic

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lieutenant-sarcastic S'abonner 2AM 3AM 4AM 5AM 6AM 7AM じ -1° -1° -1° -1° -1° -1° F--- moon's taking poison damage
"They really try to sell Kay as some underdog, but she just does the normal heroic stuff every protagonist do. Why promote the idea she is not a super-hero just to have her gun down a room full of Stormtrooper? I am not against videogame characters doing the usual videogame stuff, but don't try to sell her as some meek commoner if you are going to survive a laser blaster to the face. You want your power fantasy while pretending you have a deep, complex character and end up with neither."
WHEN A GAME HAS A BUNCH OF STATUS EFFECTS AND DEBUFFS THAT YOU CAN USE: MAKE THIS ENEMY USELESS WITH ALL THESE STATUS EFFECTS! OOHHH AZULCRESCENT BUT DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO USE *ANY* OF IT ON THE BOSSES IMMUNE! THEY WON'T WORK ON BOSSES THO! THEN WHY ARE THEY EVEN IN THE GAME IF I CAN'T USE THEM ON THE MOST IMPORTANT ENEMIES????
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Uploaded Feb 14, 2014 at 12:16AM EST

Origin Entry

Video Game Logic

Tags

mario kart, mario, luigi, princess peach, toad, yoshi, donkey kong, wario, bowser

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