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Garfield Parodies - Dobfield

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DOBFIEL IN AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE WHERE SMALL BLOE BEARS ARE A COMMON HOUSEHOLD PET, JON DECIDES TO ADOPT DOBFIELD A RETARDED BEAR WITH A BAD ATTITUDE DOBFIELD! YOU ASSAULTED THE MAIL MAN AGAIN! THIS TIME OVER SOME VALENTINES DAY CARD SENT TO YOU? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE VOUR ANGER OUT ON THOSÉ NOT AT FAULT? BECAUSE IM PHILOSOPHICAL!I DO NOT CONFORM TO THE CREEDS AND TRADITIONS OF THE AVERAGE AMERICAN. I AM ALSO0 CONTROVERSIAL. IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY BELIEF SYSTEM, THEN VOUR MIND IS SIMPLY NOT SOPHISTICATED ENOUGH. SOPHISTICATED? ALL YOU EVER DO IS PLAY VIDEO GAMES, EAT, SLEEP AND S---·WN CAN'T YOU CHANGE YOUR BAD HABBITS LIKE ANY OTHER BEAR AND BECOME A LITTLE MORE PRODUCTINE? OUTRAGE! THIS CRITICISM OF MY LIFESTYLE IS UNJUST AND CLEARLY DESIGNED TO BRING ME DOWN. WITH MY REKNOWNED STUBBORNESS, I SHALL PROTEST AND TAKETH A STANCE AGAINST THIS HATE AND SLANDER! THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HERE! UNBELIEVABLE!I AM TRYING TO HELP VOU, VOU INGRATE, SELF-ENTITLED FAT LOMP OF SMIT! AT LEAST GINE ME ONE REASONED AND ELABORATE ARGUMENT AS TO WMY SHOULD CONTINUE TO KEEP AND SUPPORT YOU! GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE. JIM DAVIS Dobtard 2014

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