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O Anonymous 01/26/15(Mon)12:28:02 No.280890302 >be me >be Dravin >own Merryfair Farm outside of Riftern sonly thing of value is my bow >thieves break in during the night, steal my bow >3 guards outside don't care livelihood is gone >dontstarve.exe has launched unexpectedly >complain to some passerby in a mishmash of armor nofashionsense.swf >several days pass >prepare to tell my wife the bad news >deepest part of winter arriving, won'tbe able to hunt >passerby comes back decked in brown leather from head to toe >f----- joined the thieves guild >hands me my bovw >w--.jar >give him every last gem I have >fall to his feet >bow is glowing strangely, now has "(Legendary)" on it whatevs time for some rabbit stew >go out for moonlit hunt >see a rabbit >nock an arrow >bow glows red arrow goes through rabbit arrow keeps going, pierces mountainside >a new tunnel to Cyrodiil has been completed >Bruma explodes Imperial guards killed by the hundreds >Thalmor try to make a move at the sudden vaccuum, thousands of Thalmor agents wiped out arrow bounces off of justiciar's thick skull >changes course to Summerset Isles >Aldmeri Dominion completely destroyed >Ulfric Stormcloak shudders awake >Decompressing 'Ulfric's Buckets of C--.zip' (1.2 MB/23.5 TB) all women of Eastmarch simultaneously impregnated with Ulfric's bastard children Windhelm renamed to New Whiterun rabbit is screaming in agony as it continues to burn from the inside out >eyes have burst from intense heat its lungs are boiling on the ground next to it. how the f--- is it screaming like this floor is now lava around banshee rabbit >every f------ forest creature in the Rift is now awake final death throes of the rabbit causes it to glow purple loud whip cracking noise as its f------ soul escapes from its mouth and eye cavities flies off in the direction the passerby went all that's left is blackened bones of the rabbit mfw three wolves come to check out the commotion >mfw the bow is out of charges F-----' thieves guild

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