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One level of abstraction away from the reality of a situation. For example, I am on a dinner date, my companion says something unpleasant, and I leave. At 1 cuil, I beg off the date while shoveling breadsticks into my bag. At 2 cuils, I depart carrying with me the meal I haven't ordered yet. A proportionate amount of the appropriate ingredients has vanished from the kitchen of the restaurant. At 3 cuils, my departure is much slower, as I have shoved my date into my purse. My date finds themselves surrounded by my collection of pilfered appetizers. At 4 cuils, I am confronted by a farmer about the wasted food l caused by departing. The expansive fields behind him repeatedly turn from seed to sprout to stalk to grain to flour to dough to breadstick to seed again. We are still in the restaurant. At 5 cuils, I depart the restaurant by the front door only to enter the next restaurant by the back door.I sit down at the table with my new date. Their previous date just left carrying her cup of ice water. My old date tries again to voice their opinion to their new date. I stand up, affronted by my new dates position on a negligible issue. Ileave the restaurant by the front door and enter the next restaurant by the back door, carrying a platter of crab dip. None of us have finished a meal or ordered the second course. At 6 cuils, my date stands up and takes the potato skins. As she leaves my mind is compressed into a single point of loneliness, only to rapidly expand into a universe of new emotion at the arrival of Immanuel Kant. He is ashamed. The Big Bang within my mind is represented upon the outside world with the creation of an alternate reality. Kant disapproves. The restaurant fades out of existence to reveal the interior of my mother's skull. Kant attempts to destroy himself and me with mental explosives. My date disapproves. Kant fades out of existence as my new date enters the restaurant.I wave her over and begin discussing politics. Universes are born and die in fragments of seconds throughout our discussion. I stand up in disgust and take the table with me, floating away as our universe contracts to a single point of sadness.

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Cuil theory as adapted to the breadsticks meme


Uploaded by anonisland5 Jul 17, 2015 at 08:37PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Cuil Theory

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wwW.STICKCAT.NET DO You HAVE ANY IDEA THE CONSEQUENCES OF youR ACTIONS! THIS PASTA 15 BETTER THAN YOUR usuAL SLOP WHAT CHANGED? I ONLy USED IT 4 OR s TIMES! You....DID. WHAT??? I LOOKED UP 50ME NEW RECIPES ON CUIL.COM TODAY you usED 5P??!? CLINK! ANYWAY I'M NOT MAD, LET'S SUST PLAY HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS OKAy, BuT I GET TO BE THE CAR!
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Uploaded Jul 17, 2015 at 08:37PM EDT

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Cuil Theory

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cuil theory, breadsticks, tumblr

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