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Just another teen suicide...

Last posted Nov 02, 2012 at 08:07AM EDT. Added Oct 26, 2012 at 09:37PM EDT
39 posts from 27 users

Ugh, this always pisses me off, not because the suicide or that people are paying attention to this person instead of other suicide victims, but because we have certain assholes who either turn it into a platform of "why are we paying attention to this stupid whore when we could pay attention to this other suicide victim" or brush it off by saying "she's a stupid girl who whored herself out and couldn't handle the backlash". Both are fucking terrible.

Surprise Bit wrote:

Ugh, this always pisses me off, not because the suicide or that people are paying attention to this person instead of other suicide victims, but because we have certain assholes who either turn it into a platform of "why are we paying attention to this stupid whore when we could pay attention to this other suicide victim" or brush it off by saying "she's a stupid girl who whored herself out and couldn't handle the backlash". Both are fucking terrible.

the thing is it's usually true. i have only seen a FEW GENUINE suicides by getting bullied for NO reason, not by fucking guys. most of these girls ARE whores unfortunately, and it keeps popping up and getting famous by facebook warriors. yes death is tragic, but i'm starting to lose sympathy if every single girl who fucks someone then kills themselves is considered to be a hero and more well known than those people who got bullied for NO reason and then kill themselves, or better yet those that take it and don't become suicidal for a mistake they made on their own.

the thing is it’s usually true.

Yes. Two girls had sex with several guys, and one bared herself online. They then were bullied because of it. It's hard for you to know (and for me,) because we're not girls, but I don't think you get the kind of pressure and stigma a teen girl has to deal with that teen boys do not.


i have only seen a FEW GENUINE suicides by getting bullied for NO reason, not by fucking guys.

Let's turn this around:

A guy has sex with seven girls. Make it four. Two. Twenty. Doesn't matter.

Is he going to get the same kind of insults that this girl did? What is the difference? Why can't she have sex with multiple guys her age? And why does it make her a whore when a guy wouldn't be called a whore for the same thing? And why in the world would a human think that it justifies being bullied? Why should anybody be bullied?

As long as she's not having kids and as long as the sex is safe, I don't see why you'd think that her bullying was justified. That's the definition of a double standard. I recognize that the world doesn't care about double standards, but since you recognize that unfair set of expectations, I would think that you'd be more sympathetic.
 
I should note that sex is serious business, from the good chance of making babies to getting all sorts of STIs up to HIV/AIDS to the emotional baggage that tends to come with it, so I don't condone sex among teens. It's a heavy act with heavier responsibilities if you don't go about it in a way with which you're comfortable.


and it keeps popping up and getting famous by facebook warriors.

It sounds like your issue isn't with the girls but with the people who praise these girls. But don't take it to the opposite side of the spectrum. Having sex is easy. There's nothing admirable about that. Killing yourself is theoretically easy. There's nothing admirable about that.

But that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be pitied. A person decided that life wasn't worth living and that death was a better alternative. It doesn't get sadder than that.


who got bullied for NO reason and then kill themselves

I can tell you that there was a reason: They're probably really awkward. And when you're an immature teen (no offense to teens, but it comes with the territory,) you're not mature enough to always know when to give the picking a break and you don't always know that the person is having a really hard time with it. Especially when you're not that awkward and you don't see why they are that awkward and especially when the kid doesn't speak up for himself (or better yet, when others around him or her don't speak up for him.)

For example, I knew one kid who would walk around and quack like a duck. And his mannerisms and speech were so exaggerated. It was awkward as balls.

Did he have some sort of social disorder? No. He fits in well-enough with just about anyone now. Was he dumb? Not in the least. He was in the same gifted classes that I was.

So I wonder why would a person open themselves up to ridicule when you can just play it cool and not deal with the people saying "Bro…you're quacking like a duck for no reason. You're, like, in middle school. What's up with you. For real though."

When you're talking about sex that should have stayed private in the first place (with teens who obviously had more issues than just "being sluts,") then I think they had more of a reason to be depressed, because unlike that duck kid who chose to not act right/bathe/keep his Pokémon cards at home, these girls didn't choose the depression they had to deal with long before their promiscuous acts occurred.

It's no reason to commit suicide, but unless you know what it's like to be that depressed, then you don't know how hopeless life can feel. When you're depressed enough, death seems like the logical choice. They need help.


, or better yet those that take it and don’t become suicidal for a mistake they made on their own.

>implying that safe sex is a mistake (What are you, a conservative?)
>implying that the "mistake" justifies bullying from your entire high school, and people online who don't even know you calling you a slut, even after you're dead
>This shiggiest of diggies


Also, OP, would you like this to go into General? I haven't seen anything about this girl in particular, and no one is posting instances here. It seems more like a non-memetic current event more than something to be researched.

Last edited Oct 27, 2012 at 03:18PM EDT

Agreeing with Verbose and Fun Police and putting this into General, can make a good topic of discussion.


As it currently stands, I'm with Verbose. Regardless how they were seen before and after their deaths, whether heros or sluts, suicide is a serious matter. This isn't euthanasia, these people didn't choose death due to a terrible disease or because they felt they completed their lives, these people were being put in a position that the only way out to them was ending their lives. That's not a situation you want to put yourself, you don't want to feel misserable in such a way that you consider suicide an option, regardless of the choices and actions that lead up to it, so why do you suddenly act like this to others.

These reactions worry me more than the teens themselves. Online anonymity is a dangerous weapon, and these teen suicides show that once again.

Okay, O fucking Kay. I'm sick of people calling girls like this "whore" and "slut" and making fun of her and all because what? Oh, she had group sex? Does that suddenly make it okay to make fun of her? She had a hard life, okay? She hurt inside, she fucking HURT. Same thing with Amanda Todd. Yes, she exposed herself online. Yeah, that was a pretty bad choice, but the fact that she was getting picked on so bad that she took her own life really isn't funny.

Go ahead internet, do your worst. But I'm not joining in on this immaturity.

Honestly I think the huge outpourings of well intentioned bandwaggoning for these girls could potentially do more harm than good. I imagine a lot of people that want to kill themselves feel like no one cares about them, and seeing that so many people will care when they do sends a pretty counter productive message.

Also this new instance seems kind of vague, doesn't it? Did she really want to have sex with all those guys? If that were the case she could she have killed herself because she was being bullied for something that traumatized her and didn't know how else to deal with it. That's something I think would be only fair to consider because we can't really know the full story.

Last edited Oct 27, 2012 at 09:58PM EDT

Poor train driver. I wonder how much this ruined him, having unitentionally killed someone. If you're going to kill yourself, at least do it in a way that doesn't impact people that don't even know you.

Its stuff like this that makes me loose faith in humanity (assuming I have any left).
After reading that article, people are saying they don't want to live on this planet anymore… hurr


And Wsxdas brings up a good point, if you're gonna kill yourself, don't go hurting even more people mentally/emotionally.

This is just stupid and sad.
Last edited Oct 28, 2012 at 10:37AM EDT

Slut-shaming is bullshit.
Bullying is bullshit.
But suicidal behaviour and self-harm are cowardly ways to deal with them.

And it really fucking pisses me off that people justify that behaviour by blaming the bullies.

I'm not saying people should bully other people. I'm not saying that at all. But in my opinion, there has to be some deeper psychological and sociological issues for somebody to even consider hurting or killing himself or herself. Blaming the bullies is just a cheap way that kids think they can justify killing themselves. It's selfish, okay?

What happened to these girls are tragedies that shouldn't go unnoticed. And maybe these things wouldn't happen if kids stopped being assholes to one another. But what we have to realize is that the reasons these girls' suicides garnered attention is what's wrong. Committing suicide is cowardly and unnecessary. In many ways, it's their faults that they were driven to this extreme. Nobody should be bullied, of course, but if anyone here actually thinks that a kid taking his or her own life is going to stop it, you're lying to yourself.

The only way to really stop it is to just stop it.

Like Alejandro and others have said, suicide really is a terrible decision.

-Get filmed having group sex with four guys.
-Also be 15.
-Of course, all of your friends will lose respect for you, bully you.
-People you don't know will know you're a whore and treat you accordingly.

What she really needed to do was get over it.

I do have more sympathy for this girl more than Amanda Todd, mainly because I haven't heard about this girl doing anything bad to other people. While Amanda decided to fuck other girls boyfriends and do drugs, this girl didn't.

It would have ended a lot better if it hadn't been filmed too.

Yes, suicide is a terrible decision. I mean, you're taking your own life, for crying out loud! But the thing is, we have no idea what the suicide victim was thinking, we have no idea what they were going through. Not to mention that a lot of suicides are the result of extreme stress and therefore these people aren't thinking straight. Suicide prevention isn't as easy as being all "Oh, don't kill yourself". Suicide prevention is a key part of the anti-bullying movement. Teach kids the signs of bullying, teach kids not to bully, etc.

While it does get harder to feel bad over every teenager that commits suicide these days (I can't deny that, as much as I would like to), this does prove a point that online anonymity can be a powerful, dangerous thing.

Cale the Witch King of Cats wrote:

You know when I was 17, I wanted to kill myself in that very fashion.

At the risk of sounding horribly insensitive, I'm not sure if you're joking about this or not.

I'm sorry to be brutally honest here but I really hate this subject because i almost don't give a fuck. Yeah sure i can sympathise but to me.

-Suicide is a action with no benefit to anyone.
-Do these people think about the people in way worse suffering but still carry on. Yes i know you can feel that low depressed a lot of people go through it. What about somebody who has war torn up their home, family and possibly even themselves were see no point of living but carry on.
-Can they think of what grief they will cause by this.

Although i will mention their motives may seem terrible and it does cloud their judgement i'd just wish there was some way to thinking out of that mindset.

Spider-Byte wrote:

I'm sorry to be brutally honest here but I really hate this subject because i almost don't give a fuck. Yeah sure i can sympathise but to me.

-Suicide is a action with no benefit to anyone.
-Do these people think about the people in way worse suffering but still carry on. Yes i know you can feel that low depressed a lot of people go through it. What about somebody who has war torn up their home, family and possibly even themselves were see no point of living but carry on.
-Can they think of what grief they will cause by this.

Although i will mention their motives may seem terrible and it does cloud their judgement i'd just wish there was some way to thinking out of that mindset.

Good Lord, grammar.
 
The thing about depression and some other mental problems is that they impair decision making and what a person values. In their mindset, suicide might seem like the best option. A lot of times, people who say they attempted suicide (and obviously didn't successfully complete it) did not really want to die. But the way they saw life right then (or in the future) wasn't worth how they felt then.

Depressed people aren't crazy, but they aren't mentally well. People who have been depressed can tell you that.

So in response:

  • Suicide has no benefit, but in their minds, neutral (death with no consciousness) is better than negative (life as it stands and how they perceive it to always be.) Some people aren't great at using and understanding logic. If that's the case, then you can't reason with that person. They'll make decisions that logical people wouldn't make (or the logical decision changes, because the outcomes are seen as being entirely different than how you would see them.) You'd see life as good. They'd see it as bad.
    • I think the better argument is to consider those you'd leave behind. Regardless of how you feel about your life, all of the survivors have to deal with your death not from someone else's hands, but because from your own. You're "free." Your family and friends have to deal with that now. It's selfish.
  • As for considering those who have it worse than you, I hate that argument. Consider phobias, for example. I'd probably rather break a bone than to throw up. I hate throwing up just that much. However, most people would rather just upchuck and get it over with. You can't assume that people value things in the same way. Since we have different values, some things that people think are bad other people think aren't so bad. They have other things to live for. They value things differently. It's not that simple.

I think the best thing you can do (again, from what I've seen in research) is to not avoid the topic of suicide. Don't endorse it, but don't avoid it. If you're seeing signs like them giving their stuff away or talking about death a lot, then you may need to be concerned that they might be considering suicide. And it always helps to be supportive and listen. Increase the value of life with love, support, and friendship so that death becomes the worse option.

Never, ever EVER tell them to just get over it. That's probably the worst thing you could do.

Last edited Oct 30, 2012 at 12:50PM EDT

both of these girls, if still alive, could've grown up to be normal healthy adults, contributing to society

inb4 I could be wrong…I know that

Its hard to even guess what they were thinking. I mean, they must have WANTED to have sex with those people unless it was rape or some shit. I'm sure they would be alive and happy if they just did the smart thing and kick their asses, or get someone to kick their asses, seriously. Dads like to kick asses. Or even play dirtier and just tell everyone that the guy has a tiny dick. Revenge is better than offing yourself.

Verbose wrote:

Good Lord, grammar.
 
The thing about depression and some other mental problems is that they impair decision making and what a person values. In their mindset, suicide might seem like the best option. A lot of times, people who say they attempted suicide (and obviously didn't successfully complete it) did not really want to die. But the way they saw life right then (or in the future) wasn't worth how they felt then.

Depressed people aren't crazy, but they aren't mentally well. People who have been depressed can tell you that.

So in response:

  • Suicide has no benefit, but in their minds, neutral (death with no consciousness) is better than negative (life as it stands and how they perceive it to always be.) Some people aren't great at using and understanding logic. If that's the case, then you can't reason with that person. They'll make decisions that logical people wouldn't make (or the logical decision changes, because the outcomes are seen as being entirely different than how you would see them.) You'd see life as good. They'd see it as bad.
    • I think the better argument is to consider those you'd leave behind. Regardless of how you feel about your life, all of the survivors have to deal with your death not from someone else's hands, but because from your own. You're "free." Your family and friends have to deal with that now. It's selfish.
  • As for considering those who have it worse than you, I hate that argument. Consider phobias, for example. I'd probably rather break a bone than to throw up. I hate throwing up just that much. However, most people would rather just upchuck and get it over with. You can't assume that people value things in the same way. Since we have different values, some things that people think are bad other people think aren't so bad. They have other things to live for. They value things differently. It's not that simple.

I think the best thing you can do (again, from what I've seen in research) is to not avoid the topic of suicide. Don't endorse it, but don't avoid it. If you're seeing signs like them giving their stuff away or talking about death a lot, then you may need to be concerned that they might be considering suicide. And it always helps to be supportive and listen. Increase the value of life with love, support, and friendship so that death becomes the worse option.

Never, ever EVER tell them to just get over it. That's probably the worst thing you could do.

I would never say "Get over it." and you pretty much explained what I thought but worded way better. I was also going to mention how the individuals themselves and how I prefer not to see this on the news and how people say these individuals are completly in the right.

The best way to cope with this is not to televise or make it public. For one thing, it'll bring quite a bit of grief to both families involved. Secondly, it'll be harder to move on after the internet takes a dump all over this story.

But it's not like we can control the media, right?

It doesn't help suicide victims to make their choice when they get the added "benefit" of the media glamorizing their deaths and giving them national attention (Granted, they are dead, but attention is attention.)

OmniXVII wrote:

It doesn't help suicide victims to make their choice when they get the added "benefit" of the media glamorizing their deaths and giving them national attention (Granted, they are dead, but attention is attention.)

My point exactly. I wish we had rules on media restriction in Australia.

OmniXVII wrote:

It doesn't help suicide victims to make their choice when they get the added "benefit" of the media glamorizing their deaths and giving them national attention (Granted, they are dead, but attention is attention.)

People don't commit suicide for attention.

MDFification wrote:

People don't commit suicide for attention.

I agree with this statement.

People will threaten to commit suicide for attention, but if that is really the only motive they will almost never follow through, let alone attempt it.

Skeletor-sm

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