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A visit to the convenience store as your avatar

Last posted Mar 30, 2012 at 12:43AM EDT. Added Mar 15, 2012 at 11:17PM EDT
55 posts from 40 users

Ah! Er! Dammit someone get the damn door, goddammmit. THESE WINGS DON’T HELP AT ALL, DUDE. THIS AIN’T RAD. I’m going to hit this thing down with my guitar if someone doesn’t open it.

Cashier: The fuck is that?
Me: Sir, don’t worry it is for protection reasons!
Cashier picks up the phone.
Cashier: Hello, police? I have a robotic pony cyberg trying to rob my store.
Me: SIR, DON’T CALL THE POLICE I AM NOT ROBBING THE STORE!
Cashier: HOLY SHIT YOU CAN TALK!?!?"
Me: OF COURSE I CAN TALK!!! SIR!! SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY FOR MY CHEESY POOFS!!
Police comes and surrounds the area.
Me: Oh lord this will not end well…
Cashier: Your in trouble now, you green haired horse thing.
Me: Come agian?
Cashier: You heard me…GREEN HAIR!!
Me: You will not come out of this alive that’s for sure…

Dear Diary:
    Today, I had a very interesting morning. As I casually trotted down to the store, I saw (and I still can’t believe this) an orange pterodactyl smashing the door with a guitar. No idea where that came from. As I slipped by him, I saw out of the corner of my eye some speeding police cars. I thought they must be hot on the tail of some car thief or something. Anyway, I walk into the store and see some asian person trying to force toilet paper on some girl who just wants some ramen, it seems. So, I walked down an aisle, when suddenly, Holy Crap! It’s Bob! He’s avoiding this llama that is standing in the middle of the store… over a dead body. Around this time, I thought that I had either spent enough time in the store, or someone heavily spiked my coffee this morning. So, I grabbed my things and hurried to the cashier. Unfortunately, all I saw was a mustached guy wearing a green hat being horribly beaten by someone with fiery fists. And I saw Ric Tesla (!) standing there, seeming to wait his turn??? I decided that was it. I galloped outside as fast as I could, right into the hands of a group of policemen. In a gruff voice, one said, “OH! Here’s that Pony we got the call about! Get in the car,” and then they Handcuffed me!
So, diary, if you are wondering why this page is written on prison-grade toilet paper, let’s just say I should have never gone to the convenience store today…
           -Vinyl Scratch

Me:Hello there, I’d like some Fish Fingers and Custard.
Cashier: Wait a minute……. you look a remarkably lot like that guy who was in the running for prime minister, but disappeared…………………….
Me: [Whispering] Oh sh*t………
Me: Anyway, why don’t we stop and have a nice little chat, while I tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to STOP ME, I don’t think!" points his Laser Screwdriver at the cashier and ages him into an elderly man
Police officer:: WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?!!?!?!!!!!!!!
Me: points his Laser Screwdriver at the Police officer How about that………. I win…. presses the button
Police officer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! dies
police sirens
Me: smiles Well, looks like you finally got me.

Dac wrote:

Where is the godamn bathroom! My bladders gonna burst!

Who dude! This wave is gonna be gnarly! Grab some of that ass paper from little homie Ann, dude!

Me: i would like to buy a pack of cigarettes.
Cashier: Oh..okay, but i think you’ve really had enough
Me: excuse me?
Me: NO ONE TELLS ME IF IVE EVER HAD ENOUGH
Cashier: sir calm down…
Me: NOW YOU CALM DOWN!
Me: (flips register)
Me:BITCH DO YOU THINK I’M PLAYING?
cashier: I’m calling the police.
Me: GO AHEAD, LETS SEE WHAT THOSE FUCKWITS CAN DO ABOUT A MAN WHO CAN TURN INVISIBLE!
(Clocks)
Police: were here, where is he?
(silent kill)
(silent kill)
chief officer: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT NOISE?
(me behind him with a mask on)
Chief: Johnson are you okay?
Me: yeah but umm…LOOK A HOT CHICKS TALKING HER TOP OFF!
Chief: WHERE?
(backstab)
(walks back into store)
Me: Ill take those cigarettes now.
(takes cigarettes)
Me: bye.
(leaves store)
Me: heh heh heh…works everytime…

I cannot go inside.My lightning has already destroyed the store.The owner is an angry & racist
redneck that own a radio show on the internet.He grab his shotgun.He’s now running after me while screaming«I’m shooting pearl,You godamn pony» until I cause a tornado on the area.The storm threw the guy in an abandoned island somewhere on the ocean (With his remaining beer cans).Someone find out I was a talking pony.«O buck ! he has called the military».I went arrested by the military service.

So they put me in a top secret jail.They planned to do a dissection on me.I have 24 hour to escape from the base before I was screwed.Luckily,I found a weak spot on the wall.Then,I caused an earthquake and the wall was shattered.A guard sounded the Alarm.

Now,I am currently running away from a thousand of army soldier (Imagine this while I’m playing Benny hill theme on an electric guitar).When suddenly,Pinky Pie break the fourth wall (again).So I have been teleported into another dimension (Equestria) where I will live happy & safe for the rest of my life.

And that pegasus was never found again on the earth.

THE END

Cashier: I’m sorry sir, but you can’t wear a gas mask in here
Me: Huddah?
C: It’s illegal to wear one in public buildings, sir
M: Huddah hu hudd!
C: Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
*turns Degreaser on him
C: Sir, don’t make this any harder than it has to be. Please put that away and leave!
M: HUDDA HUDDA HUH!
*pulls trigger

Well guys, my visit to the convenience store actually turned out well.

Go and spread!

And minions, GO GRAB ME A PACK OF CHIPS AND A DRINK!

Me: Yeah, I’d like to buy this Gigaliter of Dr. Pepper, please.
Cashier: Alright, but I have one question.
Me: Shoot.
Cashier: Are you a guy or a girl?
Me: …wat
Cashier: Y’know, what with the long, purple hair and all.
Me: NOBODY DISSES THE HAIR.
Cashier: Huh?
Me: WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK I AM? I AM WILLIAM SCHNELL, MASTER OF THE FISH CARDS!
Cashier: Dude, just calm down-
Me: MY COELACANTH WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!
Cashier: SECURITY!
Me: Ohhh, you have to get your FRIENDS to help you. You craven.

And that’s why I’m eternally banned from 7-Eleven.

Fine… Mio wanted a new bass, anyway… Let’s go to the store!

(Man… she looks so excited…)

Oh, hey! Look, they have left handed basses here!

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea at all…

Wait… It costs how much!?

Last edited Mar 16, 2012 at 10:36PM EDT

Me: So how much dose this new pair of Sunglass cost?
Casher: Dude, Don’t say Dewott repeatedly, And who wears Sunglasses with “Stop Sopa” on it?
Me: Who cares? I just want to buy some Sungla-
Casher: Dude, I Said stop repeatedly saying dewot-
Me: I JUST WANT TO BUY A PAIR OF SUNGLA-
Casher: I called Animal control.
MWF:
(⌐■_■)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(•_•)

And then the entire store was flooded.

Last edited Mar 16, 2012 at 11:20PM EDT

Patrick wrote:

Fine… Mio wanted a new bass, anyway… Let’s go to the store!

(Man… she looks so excited…)

Oh, hey! Look, they have left handed basses here!

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea at all…

Wait… It costs how much!?

>convenience store
>sells bass

OH OKAY I’LL BUY A PET EAGLE AND A SURFBOARD THEN.

>walk into convenience store to pick up some food and litter
>end up perusing all the isles because i cant read
>because im a cat
>finally find what im looking for
>rub up against it with my cheek
>because im a cat
>notice that the owner has been following me around
>the owner catches up to me and shoos me out of his store
>because im a cat
>he didnt even notice my tuxedo
>he just lost the best customer of his life
>and about a half million
>because im a cat
>wearing a tuxedo

Jimmies officially rustled.

Meh im just here for cake
http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1600&bih=835&tbm=isch&tbnid=LOl375mHuPB7cM:&imgrefurl=http://www.arsicaregroup.com/Default.aspx%3Ftabid%3D93&docid=DzZm-HceSV1WjM&imgurl=http://www.arsicaregroup.com/Portals/0/Portals/0/kid%252520cake.jpg&w=358&h=335&ei=Mt5nT_WHKtC50QG6gfGACQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=179&vpy=62&dur=680&hovh=217&hovw=232&tx=106&ty=108&sig=108601346586216190487&page=1&tbnh=139&tbnw=149&start=0&ndsp=36&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0

Piano wrote:

“Hello” Places bag of skittles on counter
“I like your hat”
“Thank you!”

I will trade you 2 Refined for that hat.

Skeletor-sm

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