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If you had to be a fictional character for the next 9 million years...

Last posted Dec 06, 2012 at 11:47AM EST. Added Nov 29, 2012 at 03:00PM EST
57 posts from 40 users

Say you found yourself in a situation where, in order to save your friends, you have to be your favorite fictional character for the next nine million years. So who would you go with?

Nov 29, 2012 at 03:00PM EST
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I’m a Sun-worshiper too, but I got here a little bit too late. Fuck.

Oh well, I’m going with Princess Celestia too.

Nov 29, 2012 at 03:53PM EST
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“Killing time in the animals-image-macro-infested forum, a website called Know Your Meme where every sick maniac confeses his love for horses…and old school spiderman. Just the usual, users posting images or a red mercenary, a man by the name Deadpool, in every entry they dislike. Hell know what goes through the minds of these no-face humans, what dreams of idiotic dreams and catchphrases like “yolo” and “swag”.
This site is afraid of me, I’ve seen it’s true face, It only shows up when a entry lacks information or when a user makes the mistake to have a different opinion about horses. Yes, the site is filled with horses, just like half of the internet, like streets filled in blood and mud."

Nov 29, 2012 at 04:40PM EST
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The Doctor from Doctor Who. I could just time travel nine million years into the future and not have to wait.

Last edited Nov 29, 2012 at 05:37PM EST
Nov 29, 2012 at 05:37PM EST
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Do our OC’s count as fictional characters?

If so, I will be waiting for you all in Equestria.

Nov 29, 2012 at 06:37PM EST
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Then I’d turn into your girlfriend.

Nov 29, 2012 at 06:41PM EST
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Nov 29, 2012 at 06:43PM EST

RandomMan wrote:

Then I’d turn into your girlfriend.


Beside that point of sumpremeness,
I WILL BE, Red from Pokemon Red and Gold.
I ALWAYS WANTED TO WIN EVERYTHING, and fade away.

Nov 29, 2012 at 06:50PM EST
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Haruhi Suzumiya

I can just will things into existence provided Koizumi and his squad of flying esper boys don’t stop me.

Nov 29, 2012 at 06:58PM EST
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Dr. Coolface wrote:

Who doesn’t want to be Morgan Freeman?

Nov 29, 2012 at 07:09PM EST
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Lich wrote:

Who doesn’t want to be Morgan Freeman?

>Implying we weren’t Morgan Freeman all along.

Nov 29, 2012 at 07:35PM EST
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Well he’s really the only fictional character I can think of that’s 9 million years old. He’s already 300 million.

Plus he’s a fucking dinosaur that shoots lasers.

Last edited Nov 29, 2012 at 08:40PM EST
Nov 29, 2012 at 08:39PM EST
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Pseudogenesis wrote:

I’d be God.

inb4 the rustle

Your inb4 is rather late because JFF gets a fair amount of threads relating to fictional characters and someone always says God. It’s just not as funny as it used to be. And I did find it funny, because I am on the very non-serious side of religion.
Anyways, I think I’d like to be Mario. Seems like fun, with all the parties and racing and sports and whatnot. And saving the world, being paper-thin, crossovers in SSB, yeah, seems like good times.

Nov 29, 2012 at 10:36PM EST
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@Psuedo, Ann

I already posed Morgan Freeman’s portrayal of God in Bruce Almighty. Also, Dio means God. Deal w/ it.

Nov 30, 2012 at 12:12AM EST
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I honestly have no idea who I would pick. 9 million years is a LONG TIME, and if I regret my decision…

Nov 30, 2012 at 04:23PM EST
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Pseudogenesis wrote:

I’d be God.

inb4 the rustle

I actually wouldn’t think being God would be all that great.

You have everything. You are everything. You have so much power. With the snap of your fingers you can create worlds and with a sweep of your hands you can erase them. You can create a perfect world. With millions of loyal followers. You can bend them to your will. You can sit in your castle or where you wish and watch as your followers die in your name. You can have sex with anyone you want. Everything is perfect.

But, since you have everything. What’s next? You can make whatever you want. You make a monster to destroy your followers. This amuses you until all of them die, but then what? You create another world. Be entertained for a few thousand years then erase it. You keep doing this, getting less and less entertained. Not caring of the things you make or destroy.

You make a friend, with no flaws. She/he’s fun for awhile, but you get tired of his sucking up to you and quickly erase him. Again alone. You keep making a friend, adding flaws so she/he’s not like some robot. You can make him/her live for eternity. After two hundreds years past, showing him/her making worlds, how the sentient creatures and animals react to the obstacles you put in your way and then finally getting bored and destroying them. He/she also seems bored.

He/she suggests making a world in their liking. You agree, thinking it’ll be entertaining and make a world. You find out it’s not as fun as you thought it was. Instead of being war mongering world or high tech cops from the future fighting aliens, your friend made the world into a peaceful land.

This is boring, you then destroy it with a flick of the wrist. Your friend becomes enraged. You declare it’s boring and suggest doing something else. Your friend wants back its world. You argue and suddenly you erase you friend just as you erased many other worlds.

Again, you’re alone.

(TL;DR: Being God is hard)

Last edited Nov 30, 2012 at 04:50PM EST
Nov 30, 2012 at 04:50PM EST
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Let’s define all terms, shall we? If I become this fictional character, do I retain my own mind, or is my perspective merely shifted within his body, so that his personality, thoughts, and manner of thinking are all retained, and my consciousness effectively ceases to exist, outside of the new perspective? Further, if I merely assume the body of this guy, do I gain all of his physical abilities (i.e., if I chose any sort of fighting character, would I have a mastery of his techniques and similar reflexes); I think it’s clear I’d gain any supernatural powers, or else this wouldn’t be fun.

Is my lifespan extended to 9 million years? Or do I die after the ordinary lifespan of this character, and revive in my own reality after the full 9 million years spent?

Once the 9 million years are up, do I simply revert to my old self, or do I travel back in time and resume my life from wherever I left it?

Does this fictional transformation make me a fictional character within our world, or would I inhabit the world of whatever character I might choose? And if the former, does my journey as this person begin before or after their arc in whatever fiction they inhabit?

Honestly, this choice might hinge more on what universe I want to inhabit, rather than which character I think is best.

Nov 30, 2012 at 05:04PM EST
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Natsuru Springfield wrote:

MFW I posted god first.

MFW when I posted God first.

Last edited Nov 30, 2012 at 05:12PM EST
Nov 30, 2012 at 05:10PM EST
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Lich wrote:

I actually wouldn’t think being God would be all that great.

You have everything. You are everything. You have so much power. With the snap of your fingers you can create worlds and with a sweep of your hands you can erase them. You can create a perfect world. With millions of loyal followers. You can bend them to your will. You can sit in your castle or where you wish and watch as your followers die in your name. You can have sex with anyone you want. Everything is perfect.

But, since you have everything. What’s next? You can make whatever you want. You make a monster to destroy your followers. This amuses you until all of them die, but then what? You create another world. Be entertained for a few thousand years then erase it. You keep doing this, getting less and less entertained. Not caring of the things you make or destroy.

You make a friend, with no flaws. She/he’s fun for awhile, but you get tired of his sucking up to you and quickly erase him. Again alone. You keep making a friend, adding flaws so she/he’s not like some robot. You can make him/her live for eternity. After two hundreds years past, showing him/her making worlds, how the sentient creatures and animals react to the obstacles you put in your way and then finally getting bored and destroying them. He/she also seems bored.

He/she suggests making a world in their liking. You agree, thinking it’ll be entertaining and make a world. You find out it’s not as fun as you thought it was. Instead of being war mongering world or high tech cops from the future fighting aliens, your friend made the world into a peaceful land.

This is boring, you then destroy it with a flick of the wrist. Your friend becomes enraged. You declare it’s boring and suggest doing something else. Your friend wants back its world. You argue and suddenly you erase you friend just as you erased many other worlds.

Again, you’re alone.

(TL;DR: Being God is hard)

If I was God, I’d just flip coins. All day. For Eternity.

Nov 30, 2012 at 07:37PM EST
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:33<people say i act like her…

Last edited Nov 30, 2012 at 07:46PM EST
Nov 30, 2012 at 07:45PM EST
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Lich wrote:

I actually wouldn’t think being God would be all that great.

You have everything. You are everything. You have so much power. With the snap of your fingers you can create worlds and with a sweep of your hands you can erase them. You can create a perfect world. With millions of loyal followers. You can bend them to your will. You can sit in your castle or where you wish and watch as your followers die in your name. You can have sex with anyone you want. Everything is perfect.

But, since you have everything. What’s next? You can make whatever you want. You make a monster to destroy your followers. This amuses you until all of them die, but then what? You create another world. Be entertained for a few thousand years then erase it. You keep doing this, getting less and less entertained. Not caring of the things you make or destroy.

You make a friend, with no flaws. She/he’s fun for awhile, but you get tired of his sucking up to you and quickly erase him. Again alone. You keep making a friend, adding flaws so she/he’s not like some robot. You can make him/her live for eternity. After two hundreds years past, showing him/her making worlds, how the sentient creatures and animals react to the obstacles you put in your way and then finally getting bored and destroying them. He/she also seems bored.

He/she suggests making a world in their liking. You agree, thinking it’ll be entertaining and make a world. You find out it’s not as fun as you thought it was. Instead of being war mongering world or high tech cops from the future fighting aliens, your friend made the world into a peaceful land.

This is boring, you then destroy it with a flick of the wrist. Your friend becomes enraged. You declare it’s boring and suggest doing something else. Your friend wants back its world. You argue and suddenly you erase you friend just as you erased many other worlds.

Again, you’re alone.

(TL;DR: Being God is hard)

Being God doesn’t sound very hard. Screw with the people for your own amusement. The second they all turn their backs on you, you have no need for them. Wipe them all out, start a new civilization, screw around with them. Rinse and repeat. Endless laughs.

Edit: Also, who needs friends when you can have pawns?

Last edited Nov 30, 2012 at 07:51PM EST
Nov 30, 2012 at 07:50PM EST
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Well, if one fictional character is God, then it’s Yog-Sothoth. Exists in every point of space and time, encompasses all of existence, unlimited power & knowledge, tentacle raep… wait, what?

Nov 30, 2012 at 08:22PM EST
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@Ann: I’m Sorry, I can’t hear your puny Hypnoses ability over the sound of my Celestials destroying the planet to build a new one!

Nov 30, 2012 at 08:39PM EST
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Your waifu.

Nov 30, 2012 at 08:56PM EST

Rarity is best poni

I’d probably want to be Katia Managan from Prequel. Why be such a downtrodden, depressing, pathetic creature? I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT DAMMIT KAZERAD UPDATE EVERY DAY

Dec 01, 2012 at 02:06AM EST
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That’ll be interesting.

Dec 01, 2012 at 05:11AM EST

Arlon The Serene (Free Cake) wrote:

Your inb4 is rather late because JFF gets a fair amount of threads relating to fictional characters and someone always says God. It’s just not as funny as it used to be. And I did find it funny, because I am on the very non-serious side of religion.
Anyways, I think I’d like to be Mario. Seems like fun, with all the parties and racing and sports and whatnot. And saving the world, being paper-thin, crossovers in SSB, yeah, seems like good times.

Oh, I didn’t mean that god.

Dec 01, 2012 at 01:04PM EST
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@Natsuru
You can have the planet I have the entire afterlife to rule.

Dec 01, 2012 at 01:07PM EST
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I WOULDN’T MIND BEING NEPETA LEIJON.

JUST FUCKING LOOK AT HERE.

Dec 01, 2012 at 08:41PM EST

Choices, choices… So many I’d want to be, but I can only choose one? (sigh)

But in the end, I think I’d probably go with Optimus Prime. At least I’d always have Decepticons to shoot over those nine million years…

Dec 01, 2012 at 10:25PM EST

Dec 01, 2012 at 10:26PM EST

Didn’t Spawn Kill both the Devil, and God…
became God, and then gave it all up?

Dec 02, 2012 at 01:50PM EST
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Skeletor-sm

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