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Don't Go There!

Last posted Oct 06, 2013 at 07:28PM EDT. Added Jun 30, 2013 at 07:17PM EDT
96 posts from 45 users

It’s time for a little dark comedy/humor thread I like to call…

There’s a lack of these on KYM, so I might as well start one.

RULE: This thread is made for tasteless “politically incorrect” dark, offensive, & twisted humor of all types. Absolutely NOTHING & NOBODY is sacred, taboo, or beyond being joked about in this thread. I’ll start:

Paula Deen opened a new restaurant. It only serves crackers.

Last edited Jun 30, 2013 at 07:19PM EDT
Jun 30, 2013 at 07:17PM EDT
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Wait a minute… if the goal of the thread is to go anywhere you want, why is it called “Don’t Go There”? I feel like you’re sending mixed messages.

Well anyway, here’s one I heard a long time ago.

There was once a little girl who was, for better or worse, born into a “good Christian family”. As a result, before she even pronounce the word Bible correctly, she was forced into Sunday school. As is natural, this bored her to tears. She would much rather be watching the R-rated films that she viewed from her cracked-open bedroom door when her parents thought she was sleeping.

One day, around the time she turned eight, a new layer of unpleasantness was added to the experience by way of a boy about her age moving into the area and joining the class. He was assigned to sit right behind her, and in minutes moved his finger towards the small of her back. At that moment, the teacher asked “So, just to refresh, could someone tell me who God’s son is?”
“Jesus Christ!”, she exclaimed as she was jabbed. The boy giggled obnoxiously as the teacher praised the girl for her correct answer.
The next week, the boy went to repeat his rude action, but this time a bit harder, as the teacher asked “Boys and girls, what happens to the poor souls who commit acts of sin and to not repent?”
“GO TO HELL!” the girl almost screamed, and almost whipped around and face the guilty party before the teacher again congratulated her. However, she also told her to quiet down and raise her hand next time.
Another week passed, and all the children returned to the classroom. Seeing the little piece of shit standing around and shoving a snack all over his face, still not yet punished by anyone, already made her furious. But she sat down anyway, and sure enough…
“This is a tough one, but I think you guys can get it. Explain Eve’s relationship with Adam after they took bites of the forbidden fruit and were banished in the garden.”
I SWEAR IN THE NAME OF GOD, IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL RIP IT OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!

Thank you, thank you very much. I’ll be here all week.

Jun 30, 2013 at 07:58PM EDT
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I give it a day before someone drops the N-word.

Jun 30, 2013 at 10:38PM EDT
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@Lone K
Please don’t do 9/11 jokes. They’re plane boring.

There’s a father taking a walk around a small town with his 2 kids: a boy and a girl.
They happen to come across an ice cream store, and the boy asks his father for one. The father, however, the father denied the ice cream. Almost an instant after this, the girl asks the father for an ice cream cone, and without hestitation, the father buys 2 cones for the girl.
The same process repeats in a toy store and a candy store.
When this bunch got home, the girl said to the boy: “Daddy loves me more than you. He buys me everything.”
The kid replies: “Well, I don’t have cancer.”

“Mommy, would you reach the cookies for me?”
“Get them for yourself, honey.”
“But… I have no arms…”
“No arms, no cookies; mister!”

How do you keep a blonde busy?
Put her in a Round room and tell her there’s a dildo in the corner.

Jun 30, 2013 at 11:46PM EDT
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Fridge wrote:

I give it a day before someone drops the N-word.

Nigger.

Jun 30, 2013 at 11:54PM EDT
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Once there was a gay jew, a black socialist, a W.A.S.P., and a latino catholic. And they were all good friends and hung out together on weekends regardless of each other’s differences.

Jul 01, 2013 at 12:09AM EDT
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Why is there no Mexican team in the Olympics?
All the ones that can run, jump, or swim are already in the United States.

Jul 01, 2013 at 12:56AM EDT

I don’t think I could upload anything like that to my image-upload site without getting banned…

This is about the risque-est thing I have on there:

Jul 01, 2013 at 11:30AM EDT
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I’m just gonna leave this here.

Jul 01, 2013 at 02:22PM EDT

What did the nigger say to his nigglet( baby nigger)?
I don’t know, I don’t speak nigger.

What would you call the flintstones if they were black?
Niggers

NIGGERS

Last edited Jul 01, 2013 at 02:35PM EDT
Jul 01, 2013 at 02:33PM EDT
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What do you call a black guy with a ferrari?

A thief.

What do you call a charitable jew?

An oxymoron.

Jul 01, 2013 at 05:50PM EDT
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How can a black woman lower crime rates?
Have an abortion.

Jul 01, 2013 at 06:40PM EDT

Heres a few awful jokes:

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.

Q: What’s a pedophile’s favorite part of a hockey game?
A: Before the First Period.

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

Q: What is a redneck virgin?
A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

Q: What do you throw a Mexican man when he’s drowning?
A: His wife and kids.

Q: Why is a Black mans eyes always red after sex?
A: From the mace.

Q: Why did Helen Keller’s dog kill itself?
A: You would too if you were named Auuurraaagggghhh!

Q: What is the most positive thing in harlem?
A: HIV

Q: How do you drown a black person?
A: Pop their lips.

Q: Why do Jewish girls like to fuck doggy style?
A: They can’t stand to see somebody else have a good time.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

Q: Who are the two most famous black women?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker.

Q: What’s long, black and smelly?
A: An unemployment line.

Q: What do you call a Puerto Rical midget?
A: A spec.

Q: What’s the difference between a British man and his girlfriend?
A: His girlfriend has a higher sperm count.

Jul 01, 2013 at 07:26PM EDT
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Dac wrote:

What did the nigger say to his nigglet( baby nigger)?
I don’t know, I don’t speak nigger.

What would you call the flintstones if they were black?
Niggers

NIGGERS

Jul 02, 2013 at 12:49AM EDT
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@Rukario
I found the site where you got those Q/As from. Meh, why not post the entire page while you’re at it.




Holocaust jokes are mien favorite. 卐

Last edited Jul 02, 2013 at 01:45AM EDT
Jul 02, 2013 at 01:44AM EDT
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A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.

Jul 02, 2013 at 02:38AM EDT
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How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

Put Velcro on the ceiling.

Jul 02, 2013 at 05:03PM EDT
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Foxy The Pirate Fox wrote:

Q: What did the little black boy say when he got diarrhea?
A: I’m melting!

Im offensive and I find this terribly black

Jul 05, 2013 at 05:21PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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