Sons Of P'taah

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About

Sons Of P'taah is a cult primarily revolving around the divine beings P'taah, Jeff and Ashtar Sheran. It further includes many lesser Gods such as Jim, Nurul Azam or z'Hansrüedi. It can be compared to the Cult of Kek, which expresses a similar structure. However, the followers of Sons Of P'taah (known as d'isciples and referring to each other as b'rothers) take their calling very seriously – While heavy ironic memeing is widespread and an innate part of the cult's culture, posts are almost always accompanied by a summon to "p'raise", which expresses the disciplines' strong belief and admiration for the great Gods. Each God or divine being can be addressed, summoned or flattered directly by "p'raise X", where X is the name of the figure involved.

Origin

Sons Of Ptaah has a versatile history. Similar to the Cult of Kek, it incorporated previously existing mystical and religious elements while adding its own lore on top of it. In his natural habitat Discord, user Guneo ^[1] mentioned on an ironic server that he had discovered the "Ashtar's Galactic People Cult" ^[2]. Intrigued by this news, user Ebnetboy ^[3] proposed that the group publicize their own grand truths extending the original revelation of Ashtar. And so Sons Of Ptaah was born, the cult's first lore video being uploaded on June 19th 2017 ^[4]. A wide range of diverse memes have spawned from Sons Of Ptaah, often involving phrases, dates and divine beings essential to the cult.
The cult's name stems from the character P'taah, a central personality in yet another astrological new-age sect ^[5].

The Cult

Core Beliefs

The core conflict in the Sons of P'taah cult stems from the everlasting battle between the forces of relatableness and unrelatableness. Relatableness is expressed through heavy ironic memeing, out-of-the-box thinking and generally simply being creative instead of a shallow product of mainstream culture. On the other hand, unrelatableness is channeled excessively by normies, who will stop at nothing to be as boring and bland as possible. Relatable beings take issue with this, especially because normies infect all known humor with their unrelatableness. As a counterweight to this force the relatable memers try to keep their in-jokes at a safe distance from the dark and vast unrelatableness that consumes everything once touched. This is the cosmic goal of the Sons of P'taah and all their divinities: To restore relatableness to a wicked and twisted world, whatever the odds.

Primary Gods

P'taah

P'taah is the divine being the cult has appropriated its name from. He originally was a prominent character for those who believe in the extraterrestrial race of the Plejarens ^[6]. For the cult itself, he represents the leader of all relatable cosmic beings and takes on the role of a powerful God. He is the central figure when it comes to Sons Of P'taah, having made an appearance on every single video the group has ever posted. Searching his name on Youtube returns dozens of results with tens of thousands of views dedicated to his role on the "astral plane". Mantras, lore videos and even livestreams are plentiful ^[7].

Ashtar Sheran

Ashtar is the second most powerful God in the Sons Of P'taah universe. Likewise to P'taah and his origin story, Ashtar was seen as an extraterrestrial being benevolent to humans and the universe as a whole. Again, Sons Of P'taah takes this further, promoting him to a God. He is closer to humans living on earth than P'taah himself, who prefers to take a back seat on human relations and concentrates on wiping out all unrelatableness from the world.
Ashtar remains a very popular figure with believers of the Plejarens or followers of similar new-age cosmic religions. In the intro sequence of newer Sons Of P'taah videos, an excerpt of the "Divine Mantra of Ashtar Sheran and Lord Gorloj" can be heard. Said video had garnered over 160'000 views by June 2017 ^[8].

Jeff

Jeff is a controversial figure in the Sons Of P'taah cult. The community is divided on whether or not he should be included as a celestial being at all; with advocates proposing that Jeff did indeed create the world we currently inhabit and detractors insisting that this information is false and that Jeff's only power lies in his popular use as an ironic meme.

Lesser Gods

Jim

Jim is one of the most beloved Gods in the cult's following due to his (literally) massive irony levels. His name is subject to frequent modification resulting in many different versions thereof. His most widespread aliases remain Jime and Jimbo. Jim's human alter ego is Jim DeFede .
There is debate as to whether Jim should be considered a primary or lesser being, for his popularity exceeds that of other equal divinities by far. Furthermore, if the facts presented in "ptaah is jime??? (from 2009)" are to be believed, Jim is in fact a reincarnation of P'taah himself ^[4], making him an aspect or persona of the God. Some say that this should put the two on equal footing regarding their importance, while the opposing party is of the opinion that because Jim is a human representation of P'taah, he is inherently less powerful. One way or the other, Jim carries a huge relatableness to his name, his benevolent self being embraced by many.

Jim created the ancient relatable relic Lidl which is now under the observance of P'taah ^[9].

Nurul Azam

Nurul Azam, also commonly simply referred to as Nurul, is another popular God in the Sons Of P'taah universe. He represents supermarkets and capitalism in general, which is endeared by the faithful. Nurul Azam not only founded the three companies Aldi, Tesco and Lidl, but in fact created all relatable supermarkets in existence. Finally, he established the relatable supermarket chain in the year 2099 ^[10]. Nurul always presents himself in a professional attitude and keeps an air of competence around him, the perfect example of which is his LinkedIn profile ^[11].
As explained in "Nurul AZAM ∗Praise jim∗ resurrection from［1827］", Nurul is said to be the reincarnation of Jim, indirectly making him a human resurrection of P'taah ^[12]. It follows that the same questions as surrounding Jim apply to Nurul's divine status. What never should be underestimated however is Nurul's power – According to "TOP 5 EPIC #E'PIC FACTS ABOUT NURUL AZAM (spanish version available in east africa)", he was "the first human to ever ascend into five-dimensional being without having drank at least three glass of water in two days" ^[10]. Trivializing this amazing feat could prove to be fatal, which is why cult members are deterred from ever even considering such a foolish and heretical act.

Nurul is the guardian of the sacred relic Aldi, which he keeps in his fridge inside of his house at all times ^[9].

z'Hansrüedi

Hansrüedi supervises the divine relic Tesco and is heavily dedicated to its protection. He is not evil, but will do whatever it takes to ensure its safety. ^[9]

Astro Boi

tbc

Gorloj

tbc

Antagonists

Justyn

Justyn is a major antagonist in the Sons Of P'taah universe. On his Instagram page he posts extremely unrelatable memes [], prompting the cult to declare him a danger to the whole relatable world. He first appeared in the Sons Of P'taah lore video "TOP 5 EPIC #E'PIC FACTS ABOUT NURUL AZAM (spanish version available in east africa)", his dreadfully snapchat-disfigured face springing into view one second before the video ends []. He then continued to make short appearances in every video, indicating that his power was growing stronger by the day. Finally, the arch nemesis' history was fully addressed by the cult in "Justyn The unrelatable" []. In the video, it is explained that Justyn has the power to "make relatable things unrelate", using his vile gift to escape a black hole set up by Gods with the intention of trapping him. He flees to East Africa, where he currently still resides, and proceeds to create the three unrelatable antirelics in his workshop: 9GAG, iFunny and MemeCenter. Should the three antirelics ever come into contact with the original three relatable relics, they will obliterate each other, releasing insane amounts of energy in the process and plunging the world into chaos. If this were to occur, 2017 could no longer source its power from the three relics Aldi, Lidl and Tesco, which would imply the demise of all living beings. Therefore it is currently the Gods highest priority to stop Justyn, his assailants and the general unreletableness they spread.
Update September 1st 2017: It seems Justyn's Instagram page has been taken down! If it remains in this state, the Gods' time may be freed up, which could result in them focusing their energy on other matters.

Windows XP

Windows XP is an evil operating system designed and released by the Microsoft Corporation []. It is noted as an antagonist in the video “ Nurul AZAM ∗Praise jim∗ resurrection from［1827］ ” []. Also mentioned is the fact that this ancient evil has persisted for more than 10 billion billion years. It is unknown whether the Gods have dealt with this force already.

In Comparison to other Religions

Due to its many celestial beings and Gods, Sons Of P'taah should be considered a polytheistic religion. Therefore it does not fit in with the three monotheistic "great religions", namely Christianity, Judaism and Islam. Instead it exhibits closer similarities to Hinduism or Buddhism, where numerous Gods with their own powers, desires, needs and functions exist.

Phrases

To distinguish true d'isciples from normalfags or atheists, the cult has adopted a particular form of writing. Continuing the legacy of the cult's holy scriptures, text formatting (italic, bold, ~~strikethrough~~) is not permitted. Instead, a hashtag is placed in front of a word for means of conveying emphasis. Furthermore, words starting with a consonant may additionally be fitted with one or more apostrophes at whichever positions the poster deems most relatable. However some words, such as p'raise, b'rother, d'isciple and P'taah, have established themselves in the cult and should not be modified further except on special occasions. Deliberate misspellings are commonplace and even welcomed as long as the message or its meaning can still be fully deciphered. While a novice may not understand the composition or logic of sentences authored by a cult member and may believe that a few words sprinkled with a random selection of attributes suffices, the art form requires skill and a fine-grained feel for the subculture. Imposters can be exposed swiftly by close examination of their texts.

The following examples try to capture the spirit of this notable penmanship:

p'raise Jime b'rother!!
Why are you such a #salty individual? Such #"unrelatable'ness can only stem from the #dark lo'rd himself… You must be one of jus'tyne's asailantes! :angry:
But we can only #p'raise. Let us hope that th'e #bless'ed ##Nurul can defeat'e the evi"l forces of W'indows X"P.

Spread

Sons Of P'taah, its subculture and the memes it has fathered have mainly been confined to Discord. On ironically cancerous servers it remains quite popular, with the inexhaustible cult lore being shared or images of divinities being stretched, blurred or otherwise manipulated comedically. To find a server dedicated to Sons Of P'taah is a straightforward task: The participants of said servers exhibit a sense of humor that will mystify any outsider or normie. This includes laughing at extremely stretched photos, stock images of basic objects (such as glasses of water, wood, pens, paper clips etc.), disfiguring words and phrases into the unintelligible ("smoke weed" → "smînke wædé") and impersonating despised political movements or activists to name a few. The most difficult step is actually joining such an ironic server, given that these are often closed groups whose members feel immense contempt for mainstream society. Therefore proving that one comes from a similarly ironic background and can adapt to the server's culture is of utmost importance. The "BlazinSkrubs ^[13] Fanbase Server" is a perfect example of this cancerous environment. Any Sons Of P'taah server will retain these very same characteristics at their core.

To clarify lore concerns, Sons Of P'taah launched their official Youtube channel ^[14] in June 2017. Traction has been slow but steady, with users simply relying on other group members to inform themselves of the lore instead of subscribing to the channel directly. This has caused some major disputes within the community concerning the cult's storyline and characters (see § The Cult > Primary Gods > Jeff), and new members are advised to aquire lore information from the source and not through third parties.

References to Sons Of P'taah have infrequently been found scattered on Instagram ^[15]. However, it cannot be said that the cult or its memes have taken off on this platform.

The primary home for Sons Of P'taah has always been and still remains Discord to this day.