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Use my amazingly hideous sword thing to attack her.

im gonna use my MLG 420 abilities

I shall fire my Mauser valiantly at the beast

I hit her with her own hands while chanting “stop hitting yourself.”

Crow: Let the advice animal continue it's attack Rolled: 4
Alice: Shoot it Rolled: 7
ButtonMasherBot: Punch it Rolled: 1
Honeytiger: Attack with sword Rolled: 7
Twisty: Use MLG magic Rolled: 6
TillisterRules: Shoot it Rolled: 4
Dr.Coolface: Hit her with her hands Rolled: 4,4,1

The beast turns around as she sees Advice Dog coming back at her. It claws at her (deals 11 damage) and quickly runs away to avoid any attack from the giant. Distracted by the quick attack Alice lifts her gun and aims for the giant's head. She fires and successfully hits the beast right between the eyes (deals 25 damage), but the giant only staggers. It seems the bullet ricocheted off it's fat head. Mash-Botress punches the beast while it's stunned (deals 8 damage). Twisty sees Erwin preparing to shoot the beast, and turn her Mauser, into a Mtn Dew and Doritos sponsored MLG Hand Cannon. After finding the trigger to the strange gun, Erwin shoots the beast in the knee (deals 31 damage). Seeing that the time is right, Honeytiger floats over to the beast and hits her with his sword thing (deals 7 damage). Dr.Coolgeishct runs over to the beast and grabs her hands and over and grabs her left hand and (somehow) hits her in the face with it (deals 6 damage). "Why are you hitting yourself?" He says while he hits her with her hand again (deals 6 damage) and tries to hit her again, but she grabs him with her other hand. Dr.Coolgeishct is trapped. What do?
Total Damage of Turn: 94
Enemies Health: 119

I kinda forgot that enemies should actually be fighting you guys. I'll just have this go the way it is because it took me a while to write it, but next turn is actually going to be a challenge.

I summon a new advice animal will channeling the spirit of Don to help my chances of the next animal being one powerful enough to both free Dr.Coolgeishct and beat up the enemy. I still keep Advice dog so that way I can attack with two animals.

Sword thing. Do the sword thing again.

Punch it again!

Attack its eyes for massive damage

I try to escape from her grip

p.s. because when you use something as a blunt object it breaks, does this mean her left hand is broken?

But wouldn't that mean her anger is broken too?

No, it just means that you can't use that weapon anymore. The only downside (if you can call it that) to Blunt Objects is that you have to write in your own weapons. It

Fuck yeah, thanks twisty. Also I would like to assist in helping Dr. Coolface escape.

how many times can i use my MLG magic, also can i use other weps?

anyways im gonna use it again if possible but this time against the beast

Yeah, you can use it multiple times. Once on allies, and once on enemies.

I should probably explain how buying stuff works.
Basically, after defeating enemies or searching through trash, you might find memebux, the shittiest currency you'll be using to by things. You can buy multiple weapons, items, perks and other things from NPCs, and Minty, who'll be making up his own stuff that you can buy. Also, to answer twisty, yes, you can use different weapons. You can have two different weapons at once. The only downside on buying and selling things is that you will have to equally divide your money and items between the group. Also, here is the next turn. (Everyone has 100 HP now)

Crow: Use the power of the Meme God to summon a new advice animal Rolled: 8 CRITICAL
Honeytiger: Do the sword thing. Rolled: 10
ButtonMasherBot: Punch it Rolled: 3,3
Alice: Shoot it in the eyes Rolled: 2 Fail
Dr Coolface and TillsterRulz: (rolling to free Coolgeishct) Rolled:11
Twisty: Use magic on beast Rolled: 6
The Beast from Tumblr: CRUSH THE OPPRESSORS Rolled: 5

Crow starts to levitate, the smell of Gorilla Munch fills the air, the words "You've just been memed on" pass through the wind. A cloud of purple smoke in the distance, gets closer each second. Sexually Oblivous Rhino has come to meme on these faggits. Advice Dog and the rhino charge at the beast both at once, dealing a large amount of damage (deals 52 damage). Getting angry from all this oppresion, the beast looks at twisty and snarls. "DIE CIS SCUM" she yells. She runs towards him and smacks him with her meaty hands (deals 14 damage). Honeytiger does the sword thing on the beast (deals 17 damage), while Button delivers a flurry of punches on her (deals 12 damage). Alice aims her gun at the beast's eyes and misses. Dr.Coolgeishct tries wriggling out of the beast's grip while Erwin shoots at the beast's fingers (deals 4 damage), causing her to drop him. Twisty uses his MLG magic to debuff the beast (She will take more damage next turn).
Twisty's HP: 86
Everyone Else's HP: 100
Beast's HP: 34

Jump up in the air, and PUNCH ITS FACE!!!

Go my beasts of memes, destroy this foul creature.

(Okay, I guess I should explain what part I play in this, just in case if there's some confusion about why the hell I'm here)
Well, I'm an acquirer of goods, of sorts, who sells stuff that you don't normally get by other shops, markets, vendors, traders, scavenging etc.
And lucky for everyone who's playing, I'm in every town/website you go to.
Over the course of the game, I'll add more stuff to my inventory and whatnot for you to buy, meaning that I'll become a regular NPC (of sorts) until I get new stock.
(If you guys manage to make it into Tumblr, I'll be waiting for everyone, with my stuff)

I go for the knees with a clear breeze.

(I hit her with air)

Shoot at legs to cripple!

ATTACK FACE WITH THING
SWORDY SLICE THING
PUT IN WOMYN FACE