Forums / Fun! / Forum Games

Heya, fuckos. Had an idea for some forum game I wanted to play, but being as I don't really do forums, this is the last ones I took part in. For that reason, I'll be using you people for this game. How lucky do y'all feel?

Regardless, it HAS been a while, so let's see if I still remember how to do this textile crap.

The premise of the game is simple:

"Far beyond the reaches of the oceans, the S.S.BoredOffMyDick has announced total nuclear war against the citizens of KYM. The users of KYM rally up their cannons for fierce combat against the S.S.WhyAmIDoingThis. But wait… suddenly… a fog machine malfunctions, or maybe global warming is turning the oceans into steam or some shit. Not important, shit's covered in a blanket of smoke/smog/fog/whathaveyou. Undeterred, the users aim their weaponry and fire out volleys in hopes of crushing the S.S.TheseNamesAreNotConsistent.

Can our users sink the S.S.LongName and save the day? Will they be able to explain all their bad shots to the public and save their image? Will the users understand that even though the names are different, it's all the same ship?

Find out on this edition of: KYM BATTLESHIP"

So yeah, rules are simple line up a coordinate by selecting a letter and a number. Call out the coordinates. Hope you hit the battleship. If you miss? Who knows what you'll hit instead? Should be fun.

e6 for bad luck.

Now waiting for OP

Cut me some slack, I was sleeping. Anyway…

E-6

Gathering together all of the training and mental fortitude watching 4000 hours of "Boruto's Dad" and "Boruto's Dad's Son" has allotted him, Nox Lucis grabs his katana, wrapped in ancient and probably poorly tempered steel (be honest with yourselves, weebs). With one swift motion, Nox Lucis teleports behind E-6 and….

… slices through the entirety of E-6. "Nothing personnel, grid" Nox mutters to the now obliterated occupants. Unfortunately, the only occupant was a lamp. The U.N. is heavily disappointed in this turn of events as now negotiations with the moth people are sure to go south. However, they find that the entire display was insanely cool as they brandish their waifu-clad body pillows. For this they decide to take no recourse against your actions.

MISS

C9 /tenchar

BINGO!

Going for C4

Alright a chance to use my perfected surefire Battleship technique. A1

Wrong game.

C-9

Deciding to take the fight to C9, MrLake realizes he has no idea where to locate a "C9". Deciding to do a quick google search yields many results for "Cloud 9". Coming across this, MrLake realizes that he must take the fight to the skies themselves. Loading himself up with trusty sidearm, MrLake takes aim and fires at the skies… having as much effect as you'd imagine.

The U.N. is confused, but being as no one was hurt, they've decided that the oncoming press would be punishment enough.

MISS

C-4

Olors64's logic is solid. In order to find a battleship with threatening explosive weaponry, why not aim for the explosives themselves. "Clearly, the land of C4 must be the land of explosives" olors64 reasoned with themselves. Taking aim, olors readies their defining shot, rocket launcher at the ready. "Some think my name's missing a C" olors64 sets up, firing a rocket. "But that Cs 4 you" olors finishes, delivering the one-liner with stoicism as the coordinates take the hit. The sight is something to see, explosions more than the mind can imagine. The place lights up greater than the Fourth of July. Once the smoke clears, the target becomes clear…

… C4 contained the U.N's entire munitions explosive center. The U.N. is angered by this. Unfortunately, they don't have the weaponry to take action and must therefore leave you with a fine you probably won't pay (I mean, what are they gonna do, blow you up?). However, you so have to spend the next few hours dispersing the crowd that's gathered as if nothing happened.

MISS

A-1

Tying up his headband to complete his Solid Snake gear, StoneColdKillerWhale decides to infiltrate the coordinates of A1.

Making his way through, he's successfully planted the explosives all over the structural foundations of the area, ready to take down the location and all inside it. However, before he can make it out, he's confronted by his arch-nemesis LIQUID STEAK (sauce). "LIQUID, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" SCKW demands. "I work here… you're in the steak sauce factory" his rival replies. "Oh… well then I horribly screwed up" SCKW realizes "Wait, how did I get up here? More importantly, I should probably disarm tho-" he's interrupted. "ENOUGH OF THAT. NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, WE MUST FULFILL OUR DESTINIES AND FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" Liquid roars, taking a battle stance. "LIQUIIIIIIIIID" SCKW yells, forgetting his life is probably in danger.

[Muffled STEAK EATER in the background]

I hope he lives.

Oh, and also MISS

Alright, so. I wasn't planning on making all of these puns. But with the last three choices lining up so perfectly, I couldn't resist. Enjoy.

AWACS DETECTS LARGE SHIP ON RADAR IN H-4, COMMENCING AERIAL STRIKE.

J-10

Shooting for F-4!!

B-4

H-5

H-9.

H-4

Readying his weapon, Kommando_Droid gets ready to unleash hell onto H4. Slinging his trusty (and patented) Isekai Launcher over his shoulder he takes aim at the only occupant of H4. "See you in the next life" Kommando says to no one in particular as he fires off a single shot. Off the distance, in H4 itself, a lonely helpless grandma is walking down the street, completely unaware of the fate that has been picked out for her. The speeding beeps of a horn is all she hears before everything goes black.

The U.N has no idea how to respond to this as misuse of carrier vehicles falls under DMV and DoT jurisdiction. So you're free to go.

MISS

J-10

Deciding that the proper way to handle this threat is full-on infiltration, RandomMan decides to sneak his way into J10 to assassinate the battleship. Unfortunately, he has found himself in the house of famed Spanish Romantic painter Francisco Goya. Still, his infiltration was so inspiring that Goya himself feels the need to express himself through his art.

While the mission was a failure, the attempt will forever be immortalized.

MISS

F-4

Attempting to take a more technological approach to this issue, Natsuru Springfield decides to take to the computer. Donning his expert hacker's hat, he locates the network of U.N. computers, easy pickings for a hacker like him.
Hacking into the U.N.'s combined supercomputer, he takes over every weapon available to him (strangely a ton of them were recently blown up by someone, what an idiot). Typing in the coordinates "F4", Nats is ready to take this threat down. But something peculiar happens when he hits enter. Nothing, nothing happens. He types in the coordinates again… and again… and again. In a fit of perturbance, Natsuru hits his keyboard, only to realize he's been pressing the Alt key the entire time. This combination of Alt and F4 have been cancelling the program before anything could be done…

Wait, that's not how computers work… None of this is how computers work… Networks and supercomputers are two entirely different things. This isn't even his hacker's cap he's wearing. It's almost as if this was some bad 80s hacker movie. Taking a closer look, Natsuru even begins to realize his computer isn't even on.

MISS

There's certainly quite a lot I have to get through, so I'll continue with the next three later today. I've already got an idea, just need the time.

Uhh… 11-K. I had to select a letter and a number, right?

A-10.

For the sake of tracking everything:

I toss my powered off computer like a gorilla and go for D2.

I bomb the B-2 quadrant with a B-2 bomber.

SATELLITE IMAGING INDICATES LARGE OBJECT IN C-5. PARATROOPERS HAVE BEEN SENT TO INVESTIGATE AND NEUTRALIZE.

H8

In gonna take a stab and go for E3

My radar dishes sense activity on J-2

Yeesh, RIP thread. What kind of loser would start a forum game he'd be too busy to pay attention to?

No but seriously, I'll get right back in action for you guys.

Classic Bob.

I’ll go for F-7.

I roll 1d6 to attack square D6.