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Tomorrow is Jeb Bush day on /r/me_irl

Last posted Jun 03, 2017 at 12:47PM EDT. Added Jun 01, 2017 at 08:05PM EDT
7 posts from 6 users

I feel bad for Jeb Bush. He was the front-runner for the nomination and was set to defeat a weak opponent in the general election. Then the guy from the Apprentice came on the scene, farted into the microphone, and took the world by storm. Poor dude.

>be Jeb
>dream of presidency since childhood
>father becomes VP and then president
>big brother becomes governor of Texas and then president
>marry a runescape goblin and become governor of Florida
>bide time for over a decade preparing for presidential run
>by 2015 Fox news is already acting like Jeb is the nominee
>spend months creating an elaborate plan to take down his rival Scott Walker
>receive hundreds of millions of dollars in big money donations
>leads all of the polls dramatically during the first few months
>out of nowhere Donald Trump announces his candidacy
>suddenly Jeb's numbers tank
>Walker immediately drops out
>Trump publicly emasculates Jeb several times live on stage in front of the entire country
>insults his family
>insults his wife
>barely even qualifies for the debates
>guac bowls
>"please clap."
>literally resorts to asking personally people in drive thrus to vote for him
>gives out toy turtles he keeps in his pockets and starts to lose his mind
>Jeb lives eats breathes and shits Iowa and New Hampshire for an entire year spending tens of millions of dollars on advertising but comes nowhere close to finishing first
>mommy and big brother has to come help him try to win South Carolina
>mommy publicly says that Jeb isn't her favorite child
>once again come nowhere close to finishing first in carolina
>drop out of the race and become possibly the biggest embarrassment in American politics
>Trump wins the nomination
>Trump wins the presidency
>right before Trump takes office both Jeb's parents are hospitalized probably dying of disappointment
The tragic legend of Jeb!

Last edited Jun 03, 2017 at 12:48PM EDT
Skeletor-sm

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