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This is my first review in a new genre of game review I’m calling an “Egocraptor Review” mimicking Egoraptors mockery of another reviewer in the “Mickey Mousecapade” video.
Make your own Egocraptor Review. :D Here’s mine.
Skyrim is a game about playing as the dragon-born, but you aren’t even a dragon, gosh game designers stick to the script. Did his mom have sex with a dragon to make him the dragon-born? Beastiality is a sin guys, come on. Now instead of befriending the dragons you just go around killing all but one or two of them, but you can still kill those anyway. Sounds to me like he’s the dragon-unborn because he kills all the dragons. The graphics for this game aren’t even that good, looks like a dumpy butt smeared a caramel ass sauce all over the textures. And look at all the glitches, what were they running the game on: a rusty toaster? And why does he shout at all the dragons who are just minding their own business burning people. He needs some anger management lessons on how to speak nicely. Maybe the big final boss wants him dead because the dragon-unborn keeps shouting at all his friends; who can blame him? Also there’s this girl named Lydia who does nothing but get hit by enemies and hold all your stuff for you. Glad they figured out what she’s really good for, besides making sandwiches. Plus they give you this funky bumblefucking dick train of garbage you have to carry around of useless potions and items and armor and weapons and basically this whole system reminds me of those dick wafer ass crisps I was eating off a dragon’s butthole. And I gotta say again that there shouldn’t be any glitches in a Bethesda game, it’s like they weren’t even trying. Next time try to make a good game guys, instead of fishing pixels out of your greasy anus dumplings and spreading them across a bunch of dumb dragon dildos shoved inside my console.
0.0002/1,000,000