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Who could possibly love Anon? | /r/Greentext

When your favorite stream(...).png 2 (722 KB, 1149x602) google yandex iqdb wait VI Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)00:41:43 No.65108531 v >>65108540 >>65108574 >>65109157 >>65109191 >6th Grade >Valentine's Day >Try giving a big box of chocolates to the girl I like at lunch time >She looks at me with a disgusted look and literally screams when I hand her the box of chocolates >She slaps the box out of my hand where it scatters on the floor >She stares at me with that disgusted look as I stand there surrounded by my disgarded chocolate >l say "I'm sorry, I just really like you" >She says in a loud voice, so everyone can hear "Who could possibly love you?" >mfw I'm 28 now. I still think of that moment daily, every day, since.
When your favorite stream(...).png 2 (722 KB, 1149x602) google yandex iqdb wait VI Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)00:41:43 No.65108531 v >>65108540 >>65108574 >>65109157 >>65109191 >6th Grade >Valentine's Day >Try giving a big box of chocolates to the girl I like at lunch time >She looks at me with a disgusted look and literally screams when I hand her the box of chocolates >She slaps the box out of my hand where it scatters on the floor >She stares at me with that disgusted look as I stand there surrounded by my disgarded chocolate >l say "I'm sorry, I just really like you" >She says in a loud voice, so everyone can hear "Who could possibly love you?" >mfw I'm 28 now. I still think of that moment daily, every day, since.

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American anon bravely defends himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)21:21:40 No.155283418 >Be American >Someone's dog puts one millimeter of their paw on your lawn >Waddle out the door with a fully automatic rifle >THATS *wheeze* MAH PROPERTY >Dog is long gone now, halfway down the street >Jump on mobility scooter which groans under the weight >I HAVE A RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN TO DEFEND MYSELF >Dog is now playing with a child >I AM UNDER DISTRESS >Fire off 30 shots, hitting both the child and dog >THIS IS MAH CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT >Ambulance arrives >Medics(sponsored by McDonald's) roll out the door >Police (sponsored by Doritos) use their shart to propel themselves out the door >YEEEAAP SON, THIS WAS SEALF DEE FEANCE >ambulance takes away the gun for repairs >Get sentenced to 20 years for not tipping the medics >155283488 # >»155283541 # >>155283759 # >>155284034 # >>155284037 # >>155284316 # >>155284334 # >>155284441 # >>155284646 #
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)21:21:40 No.155283418 >Be American >Someone's dog puts one millimeter of their paw on your lawn >Waddle out the door with a fully automatic rifle >THATS *wheeze* MAH PROPERTY >Dog is long gone now, halfway down the street >Jump on mobility scooter which groans under the weight >I HAVE A RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN TO DEFEND MYSELF >Dog is now playing with a child >I AM UNDER DISTRESS >Fire off 30 shots, hitting both the child and dog >THIS IS MAH CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT >Ambulance arrives >Medics(sponsored by McDonald's) roll out the door >Police (sponsored by Doritos) use their shart to propel themselves out the door >YEEEAAP SON, THIS WAS SEALF DEE FEANCE >ambulance takes away the gun for repairs >Get sentenced to 20 years for not tipping the medics >155283488 # >»155283541 # >>155283759 # >>155284034 # >>155284037 # >>155284316 # >>155284334 # >>155284441 # >>155284646 #

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Anon’s Tendies Are Cold | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:36:56 No.65102799 >door dasher takes the long way 295 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:36:56 No.65102799 >door dasher takes the long way 295 KB PNG

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Average Hot Sauce Fan | /r/Greentext

No.16591893 8 hours ago PicsArt_09-03-10.49.01.jpg JPG 104.4 KiB 388x388 >excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu? >...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about. >You... don't... have one? WellI, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times. *loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened* >Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...? >Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet? 2 replies
No.16591893 8 hours ago PicsArt_09-03-10.49.01.jpg JPG 104.4 KiB 388x388 >excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu? >...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about. >You... don't... have one? WellI, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times. *loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened* >Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...? >Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet? 2 replies

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Anon becomes happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: W3MH5DD8)+ 03/10/20(Tue)20:48:40 No.9716266 eipysty.jpg 15 KB JPG i hate my life : IBritGoreUg (ID: 46SGONIr ) EA 03/10/20(Tue)20:49:53 No.9716268 1622882D07C649EF95C40554A556DDCE.jpg 29 KB JPG No you dont
: Anonymous (ID: W3MH5DD8)+ 03/10/20(Tue)20:48:40 No.9716266 eipysty.jpg 15 KB JPG i hate my life : IBritGoreUg (ID: 46SGONIr ) EA 03/10/20(Tue)20:49:53 No.9716268 1622882D07C649EF95C40554A556DDCE.jpg 29 KB JPG No you dont

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Meet Virginia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)14:17:21 No.65104234 >be me >Having work done on car >Get a rental car >Virginia plates for some reason >Have to get gas after work >Massive rush, gas attendants running everywhere (can't pump gas in my state) >Some kid who can't be older than 20 shows up to my car, 44 KB JPG asks the usual s---, starts pumping my gas >Kinda cold, had my windows up and just waiting for him to leave >Hear him tap on my window >Crack it open >"Hey, are you from Ruckersville by any chance" >"No this is a rental why do you ask" >"Uhhhh i just know someone from there" >Kid leaves and the other attendant takes me off the pump and i drive away %3D You dumb f--- I know damn well you were asking to see if I knew Chris Chan, I bet there's a decent chance you'll see this somewhere so stop bugging virginians asking them if they know Chris Chan
: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)14:17:21 No.65104234 >be me >Having work done on car >Get a rental car >Virginia plates for some reason >Have to get gas after work >Massive rush, gas attendants running everywhere (can't pump gas in my state) >Some kid who can't be older than 20 shows up to my car, 44 KB JPG asks the usual s---, starts pumping my gas >Kinda cold, had my windows up and just waiting for him to leave >Hear him tap on my window >Crack it open >"Hey, are you from Ruckersville by any chance" >"No this is a rental why do you ask" >"Uhhhh i just know someone from there" >Kid leaves and the other attendant takes me off the pump and i drive away %3D You dumb f--- I know damn well you were asking to see if I knew Chris Chan, I bet there's a decent chance you'll see this somewhere so stop bugging virginians asking them if they know Chris Chan

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Anon likes his aquarium. | /r/Greentext

>Alarm goes off at 5am >Shave and take my anti psychotics before hopping in my car. >Get up early so I can grab a large latte from Dunkin. >Barley like Dunkin most days but it's a habit. 994 KB JPG >20 minute ride to work. >Sit in parking lot for 1 hour to mentally prepare for day ahead. >Listen to music or documentary. >7am on the dot go into work. >Say hello to chubby but friendly admin worker. >Same greeting everyday like routine. >Prepare truck in same fashion I do everyday. >Auto pilot entire work day like a machine. >Exchange goodbyes with everyone before giving half hearted excuses for why I cannot go to an outing with them. >Get back in car. >Put on documentary or music. >Drive home. >Pick up pack of Zzquil on way. >get home. Say Hello to my soulless Shell of a roommate. >Mild greetings, We are both incredibly anti social so it works out best. >Feed the fish in my 75 gallon fish tank before putting on a youtube vid and checking water conditions. >7pm rolls by. Chug half of Zzquil bottle and stare at fish tank until I pass out. >Alarm goes off at 5am. Am I supposed to be depressed or something? Or am I just content. Honestly I'm so numb nothing seems to really matter outside of my routine. | : Anonymous 08/23/21 (Mon)19:28:06 No.861661865 >>861661810 (OP)# youre numb : Anonymous 08/23/21 (Mon)19:28:56 No.861661896
>Alarm goes off at 5am >Shave and take my anti psychotics before hopping in my car. >Get up early so I can grab a large latte from Dunkin. >Barley like Dunkin most days but it's a habit. 994 KB JPG >20 minute ride to work. >Sit in parking lot for 1 hour to mentally prepare for day ahead. >Listen to music or documentary. >7am on the dot go into work. >Say hello to chubby but friendly admin worker. >Same greeting everyday like routine. >Prepare truck in same fashion I do everyday. >Auto pilot entire work day like a machine. >Exchange goodbyes with everyone before giving half hearted excuses for why I cannot go to an outing with them. >Get back in car. >Put on documentary or music. >Drive home. >Pick up pack of Zzquil on way. >get home. Say Hello to my soulless Shell of a roommate. >Mild greetings, We are both incredibly anti social so it works out best. >Feed the fish in my 75 gallon fish tank before putting on a youtube vid and checking water conditions. >7pm rolls by. Chug half of Zzquil bottle and stare at fish tank until I pass out. >Alarm goes off at 5am. Am I supposed to be depressed or something? Or am I just content. Honestly I'm so numb nothing seems to really matter outside of my routine. | : Anonymous 08/23/21 (Mon)19:28:06 No.861661865 >>861661810 (OP)# youre numb : Anonymous 08/23/21 (Mon)19:28:56 No.861661896

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Anon likes Metallica | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/07/21(Sat) 17:17:57 No.9828889 >see man in metallica shirt >walk up to him >"do you like metallica" >"yeah?" >"cool." >walk away 20 KB JPG 2 Replies /1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/07/21(Sat) 17:17:57 No.9828889 >see man in metallica shirt >walk up to him >"do you like metallica" >"yeah?" >"cool." >walk away 20 KB JPG 2 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Anon’s Love Won’t Wait | /r/Greentext


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Anon tries to profit off fat people | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext


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Zooming along | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)10:44:03 No.65099842 >pog this s--- deadass lowkey slaps, we be finna bussin no cap fr mood tho sheesh 171 KB GIF 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:16:09 No.65100658 >>65099842 (OP) # >SEND IT! >>65100670 # : Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:17:24 No.65100665 >>65099842 (OP) # >full send bro, this s--- good frfr, you should like, try some. no really senpai, you gotta rip it man, it's f-----' gas dude 229 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)10:44:03 No.65099842 >pog this s--- deadass lowkey slaps, we be finna bussin no cap fr mood tho sheesh 171 KB GIF 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:16:09 No.65100658 >>65099842 (OP) # >SEND IT! >>65100670 # : Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:17:24 No.65100665 >>65099842 (OP) # >full send bro, this s--- good frfr, you should like, try some. no really senpai, you gotta rip it man, it's f-----' gas dude 229 KB PNG

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Anon enrolled in college | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)00:33:03 No.65102367 >have to upload a photo to enroll in college >get mom to take picture >see picture >start crying >entire month is ruined 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)00:33:03 No.65102367 >have to upload a photo to enroll in college >get mom to take picture >see picture >start crying >entire month is ruined 62 KB JPG

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Anon is gonna become an incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)01:42:53 No.65105132 >first day of class >get to class early so im one of the first people to sit down >sit towards the back >four stacys walk in a few minutes after I sit down >in the sea of empty seats they 22 KB JPG choose 4 seats all situated near me >all of them introduce themselves to me They're going to bully me arent they
: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)01:42:53 No.65105132 >first day of class >get to class early so im one of the first people to sit down >sit towards the back >four stacys walk in a few minutes after I sit down >in the sea of empty seats they 22 KB JPG choose 4 seats all situated near me >all of them introduce themselves to me They're going to bully me arent they

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Anon's professor might be a furry | /r/Greentext

File: fb705f52e37aeb69337cbb6b1(...).jpg (41 KB, 469x469) Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:16:09 No.861639204 >>861639620 >be me >Starting college >Get an email about class times from a teacher >It has a cartoony dragon on it >Whatever, nothing special >Her pfp on the website is a line art dragon >Hmmm >Take a tour past her office >See dragon art on her wall Is my teacher s scaly? >> Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:24:46 No.861639620 >>861639204 (OP) liking dragons =/= wanting to f--- dragons
File: fb705f52e37aeb69337cbb6b1(...).jpg (41 KB, 469x469) Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:16:09 No.861639204 >>861639620 >be me >Starting college >Get an email about class times from a teacher >It has a cartoony dragon on it >Whatever, nothing special >Her pfp on the website is a line art dragon >Hmmm >Take a tour past her office >See dragon art on her wall Is my teacher s scaly? >> Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)12:24:46 No.861639620 >>861639204 (OP) liking dragons =/= wanting to f--- dragons

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Anon is cringe | /r/Greentext

File: avatars-JinSVqyNLhx1tPzL-(---).jpg (34 KB, 500x500) I Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)16:41:50 No.861626516 >>861626566 >listening to a collab song >female part kicks in >throws away ipod >> Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)16:43:28 No.861626566 >>861626516 (OP) is this a cringe thread?
File: avatars-JinSVqyNLhx1tPzL-(---).jpg (34 KB, 500x500) I Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)16:41:50 No.861626516 >>861626566 >listening to a collab song >female part kicks in >throws away ipod >> Anonymous 08/23/21(Mon)16:43:28 No.861626566 >>861626516 (OP) is this a cringe thread?

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