Dungeons and Dragons - The origin of magical realm

"I roll to have my character punch the dungeom master."
DM: Uh, that wouldn't work. That's not a thing.
2: Actually there's a legal INT roll check for a character to awknowledge the 4th wall. If the check passes they could punch the DM.
DM: Oh, but the odds with your INT, you'd have to roll the highest values on a d20, d12, 2d10, d8, d6 and 3d4.
1: Fuck it I'm going for it.
>Rolls
2: The Orc punches the DM through the 4th wall.
DM: HOW IS THAT A THING?!

Roll 2d4 for your character's urea concentration.

This will be contested by the troll's adjusted lingual papillae stat (80d100)/1000.

If the concentration succeeds, the troll vomits and you must restart the process. Thankfully there is a river under the bridge.

And somehow this horrible rule system I've constructed is still better than FATAL.