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I am having surgery with Dr. S next week and I am open to answer any question or doubt My of and me dressed my pents asa pirate and hung it. Pretty awesome. Having surgery in some hours. SRS in about 20 hours I am having bottom enhancements with Dr. Suporn in about 20 hours. Hugs are welcome cause I am scared to death 아h, and my gf and Idrossed my pens a pirate arxd hung it as à joke yestarday. Smal things you wish you had while recovenng from SRS 뉴·bmwaa894。inmitwserer Companion. Just someone to talk to, to ghe me some moral and logistic support 1 am right now recovering itn Thailand from mine and I feel extremdly weak, lonely nd vunerable. It is not just the recovery, it is the complications (in my case, lots of bleeding) and I would have loved to have someone with me. I'm on my 23d day post-op and my stupld gentalia (don't want to call it a vulva, R does not look ike one, Nsrw http:mur.com massive swelling. Plus 3x/day dlation taking 1.5 hours each time does not help at all. I'm feeling totally regretful, I shouldn't hanve ever done ths to my body. I was helthy, my previous genitalis was not that bad. I need hugs (and )looks like a bunch of sausages with tears in the middie, lots of stitches and a thanks alot, rm atrid of the tears in the swollen minora·they burn like fire :/ l kind of regret it, but I quess R is hard to judge when you are in pain and it bums, t bases you a lot. I hope it gets better, b试right now l do regret it and [ mess memy thngs l cold do and I cannot now beng tied in the bed basically Yes, t was Bue t thought 1 mas gonna see some smal improvement and t haven't in these 3 weeks But sigh, the recovery is harder than I imagined, and I have had some complications already (bleedings, extra stitches, now tears). Probably it's just post-op depression and feeling so fragile does not help. y sensitive, the rest is seneitive but right now it just burns and hurts Peeing is In my experience, 24 days post op...I can barely sit for half an hour without wanting to commit suicide. I would take iE·iE allows you to redihe more. I tned it for my 11 hours +4 hours flight but everything was full and I stil dont total breakdown So as the title seys. I'm havng nght now total breakdown rm not sure who I am anymore, I don't know why the hell did 1 transition, or started hrt, or even had SRS. Everything feels fake, I'm deaing with continuous es in the recovery from this piece of st that is my genitalia. I just... I just don't know what I am doing with my lide. It waS much more now or will have in the future. I dont know how to feel about whar t ad. t just did it and t's currently a mess, but t free, wty wouldn't I love to have them xD). I Ike the outcome, 15 5Kllen,沈depresses me when ot tut ey, that's at 1 chose. He is a Top surgeon, the whole Suporn experience (in ic statt, the stay there and the aftercare) is 10/10 for such an invasive surgery. He doesn't let you go back uritil he knows you're fine (this 1 know because I've met people that needed to extend their stay) and hes truly a perfectionist and their results are in most cases awesome. Revisions are not that bad anyway, they sound scarier than they are harder and harder every day (to the point I sometimes break in tears). gor some more active bleeding. But I had my surgery done with a reputable surgeon in Thailand and I have been having issues since the very beginning. None of them alarming, but 1 got 1) Separations in both labias with necrosis - minor revision surgery cueting the dead flesh and putting more sttches. 2) continuous active bleedings for a weekゥthey stopped on their own, had one since then. 4) Grandtion->Ithink they cauterized it, but no idea 5) Bleedngs during dilation (90% of the time), when pooping (lately als most of the time, even if my faeces are 6) Burning sensation since week 2, sweeling that doesnt go away some pain (fortunstely managenble) 7) ttonestly have no idea what the hell is thus, mere necrosis? gr rulation? infection? http://m ar.com/artoq貆 n) Hy dscharge has some blood on R, but the smel is not strong and I don't have fever (in fact, feel okish, t's just that this thing doesnt Be prepared for a horrible experience. Dilation sucks, your body hurts (beds are uncomfortable and you can onily lay on your back), being unable to move sucks, hospital food sucks, hotel food sucks [but sucks less), post-op issues suck You may get depressed (1 did) and askng yourself what the hell did you do (1 still do somecimes Intense bleedings trom boners the first 2-3 woeks (solved when I resumed HRT necrosis that arrected the joint of the labia majora and minora: he removed沈and restitched. Separations between the labia majora and the minora, 2 times. Agsin, I needed to be restitched ineme of my labias: her thed it. on intation (he made me stop using betadine, the antisepcic soap, normal shower ges and regular pads, P'm using celulose now and a special shower gel for irritable skin). I though I was finally starting to heal. Less bloody dilations, less pain in general. But apparently all this was just an lusion. tn the last few days, dilation has become really tough, to the point to making me break ito tears amd sometimes nearly fainting of pain and disconfort. I also Ihave lots of discharoe, needing to change my pads every I honesthy fed in the lime, totally f----- up, handicaped. t was not happy before my transition, but I was not too sad either, and above everything I was productive and lfe was keeping me busy. I felt useful, desirable, productive. I felt I was doing something for the world. Now ail I do is dEate, eat, sleep and cry. I truly feel SRS (maybe also transftion) s the worst thing I have ever done, and I dont know how to go back to a normal life. Because this clearly isn't and L So yesh, to those who say that regrets do not exist, that SRS Is the best thing the final goel, the heven..I wish hadnt isten to yo I wish I had though about this more seriously and with more realatic expectations Sorry, I just needed to vent, but I am realy depressed, for the first time in my ife. ₩ell. I might be biased, but dont do it. Really, this is not going to improve anything, just mess up your physical health.Itisthe worst thing Ihave ever done to myself. Uke if I could go back 'nd they paid me 100k to do R. Iwold fI could go back and they paid me 100k to doit I would sey That is You are not alone, I am also going through issues both psychological and physical. I got good results but recovery is so rough I would have never done this to me t I knew realstically what ti expect beforehand. This ts 8 hurricane that cks your life. And dIwton is freaking disgusting, if sorneone tells you it is not, I ad SRS, for me it was all or nothing as I have a kind of tobia towards orchies. But Fm not very happy with my life now as 1 have posted several times here, haF of the time 1 wish 1 never did it. r'm 50 jealous of people getting bottom surgery (ver) by Nmwmod。 in Dlating i5 horrible Really horrible, antinatiral and al I feel ts presoner of 't, for the rest of my lte. It also hurts, feeds the same as my old functional low-maircenance penis inside my pants. It has ruined my old sfe [well, transition has in general), every day is the same stupid chore of dilating, dlating, dilating I thought it was going to be bearable, but no. Dilating kidnaps your Ife, it has broken my career and it does it for nothing wto cares about the stupid genealia. Ha can be having th编sugkal wound I have now better than what I had before?. I wish I read more messages lnke the one I am writing now before doing R. Hell, ItI ad, I would have never done, this hug" mneske、Never in my life, not even if someone paid me to do so. And I did it wich a very repucable surgeon wh a resuit that can be considered qute good and stil gives me some Cittie) hope. Ir wasn't, I would be simply too suicidal now. Now, after SRS, I cannot think wry anyone would pursue this as a goal, to be honest So yeah, I would probably sound troil for marry people hee, but 1 feel t have to be honest and tel the (my) truth about SRS. It's not worth it, full stop I'm so jealous of peopla gatting boltom urgery (verve) by ed Don't be, for me化doesn't worth it at all. So much sacrifice, so much give up at your life, for what? For having your genitala modified? I wish I had known it betore, 1 wish I knew trans Ife was going to suck so bad. I would rather 1 weeks post op Get SAS, you will then have blood, discharge and need to use freaking pads al the time. It is dsgusting, not a thing I don't know I want as and need help. by Sarabad。inMf disconfort and it is very sity thing to do. I am here after my morning session laying down and trying to recover the at 12.40 pm stopping dialaion yes, I do. And also because of the freaking discharge, I need to use pads ail the time, it's amays dirty, smells ike s--- (welし沈smells lke normal female genitalia, but it's much stronger than my penis and I cannot get used to R). nten Ipee my legs and butt get ωvered by pee. It's not nice at all. Why dosst weem that a lat of trans ladies have a hard tme with conustent dialation after SR57 Soms evan stapping dualatian atogachar the drano starts when I get to depth, which what takes me forever. e depressed now that I have be in my whole ie does tseem thatュlot of trans ladies havo a hard tme nith consetrnt dalatian after SRS? Some even stappng dulton altogeher It taloes me 70-90 minutes per session, up to 120min with prep and deaning. It hurts gutte a bit. Two times a day. I sucks so much, you cannot believe. I have been more depressed now that I have been in my whole ife yeat, but I've read people's posts with how things don't gū very well even at months 7.8-kinda disappointing and oetting whilr As I am saying in the title, I am sometimes getting some weird aroiety (lke vertigo) feelings whle dlacing, paired nth thoughts of 'what the hell I am doing, this is wrong, rmy body isn't supposed have vagins', R doesn't happen all time, but only sometimes. Can your disk off, dont ask other mentallyi was bei ecision. B Dople

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Uploaded Feb 28, 2018 at 03:03PM EST

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Yes, Very Sad / Anyway, It Got Me Thinking

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