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r/relationship_advice Posted by u/ThrowRANinjaLegend 1 hour ago 54 I (28M) cosplayed and LARPed as Naruto to prove a point, now my girlfriend (25 F) is p-----. Can this be saved? My girlfriend (25F) and I (28M) have been together for five years now. She has always been highly into Dungeons and Dragons, Lord of the Rings, and high fantasy content in general. I am into it somewhat and enjoy indulging her hobbies, but am mostly an anime fan. On the other hand, she has no interest in indulging in my hobbies. While I play D&D with her, partake in a yearly LOTR movie marathon with her, and go to the renaissance festival three times a year with her, she has no interest in even trying to watch anime with me, going to conventions, etc. She honestly thinks anime is pretty cringy and would rather just let me partake in it by myself. That's fine, whatever. Our relationship is good in most aspects. The issue is that starting around the beginning of the year, she has been going out in public dressed as her elf persona. She will wear elaborate medieval gowns, wear fake elf ears, and speak in a fake Irish accent. This will happen multiple times a week when we go shopping, visit friends, and more. She even showed up to dinner with my family dressed as an elf. She will talk about nature spirits and the "Mother Goddess" and basically randomly LARP as an elf. While I want to be supportive of her, it can frankly get pretty embarrassing. My tipping point was when I got on. a Zoom call with family so we could spend time with my cousin who is undergoing Chemo and can't see people face to face due to the pandemic. My girlfriend joined the Zoom call from her own room, fully dressed as an elf. She was doing the accent. My whole family was very confused but polite. At one point, my girlfriend said something like "I will send my wishes to the lunar goddess and ask for her blessing of recovery to cast upon you. Her magic will help cleanse the illness from your body." It was honestly mortified and the call ended very soon after. I ended up taking her aside and spoke with her very politely and gently, saying something like this. "Hey, I want to support you and I will always love you. I know dressing up as your character and fantasy stuff in general means a lot to you. But I would really like it if you could lighten up on the cosplaying and LARPing randomly in everyday life. I would be happy to put aside one day a month and we can go out together like this. But it can be a little embarrassing, and with the comment to my cousin, a little inappropriate at times." She blew a gasket and started snapping and yelling at me. Going on about how I am trying to repress her. How I should NEVER be embarrassed at my girlfriend expressing her true self, etc, etc. She said she was humiliated by what I said and that it was just adding salt to the wound when I suggested just doing it once a month with me. She didn't want to talk about it after that so I just apologized for upsetting her and let her know it wasn't my intention to upset her. Well, she basically acted as nothing happened and continued to be an elf. Nothing had changed at all. I should mention I also suggested she bring her habit up with her therapist, but this offended her because I was implying she had a mental issue. I decided that enough was enough. I couldn't stop her from being an elf, but I could still retaliate. She was meeting up with three friends and wanted me to meet up with them. (Yeah, yeah, pandemic. There are virtually no cases where we are and have no lockdown). I decided to dig up my old Naruto cosplay and then drove to meet them at the park. I was in full getup and waved over to my girlfriend. She looked at me like I just shot her dog. I put my arms behind my back and Naruto ran as fast as I could down to meet them and said "A true ninja is always on time, BELIEVE IT!" And made some hand signs randomly with my hands. Her friends seemed horribly confused and had no idea what to do. After we walked and talked a bit, my girlfriend took me aside more privately and started yelling at me, saying that I was humiliating her. That I was just being petty and trying to get revenge on her and bully her because she likes to cosplay. I simply told her that because she is comfortable enough to be her true self in public so often, I thought she could accept who I really am as well. I told her that cosplaying and being Naruto in daily life was something I had always wanted to do, but didn't think I would have a significant other that was okay with it. I told her that I realized I couldn't control her and be cruel, so I instead needed to embrace my inner ninja and become Naruto more often. I told her that she should be supportive of me like I am of her. She wanted to yell more, but we all had to go to a cafe for lunch. When we walked there, (only about ten minutes) we were talking about ourselves at the table. One of her female friends asked me hesitantly "So, what do you do for a living?" On command, I responded with "I'm going to become Hokage! The strongest ninja that ever lived! I need to train even harder and refuse to lose to Sasuke, BELIEVE IT! I then let them know I had to use the restroom and proceeded to Naruto run to the bathroom with my hands behind my back. Once all of this was over and we were home for the day, my girlfriend sobbed and said I was humiliating her. How Naruto and anime were way, way cringier than fantasy LARPing and how I was obviously just trying to punish her. I insisted I am just being my true self and that she is a massive hypocrite. I let her know that as long as she is randomly allowed to be an elf in public and social situations with me, that is innately enough permission for me to do the same as Naruto. Well, it's been a few days now and she's really not happy with me. She went out as an elf the other day with me and I was dressed normally. When we got to the bookstore, I went to the bathroom with my backpack (which is normal for me to have) and changed into my Naruto cosplay before once again Naruto running back out to her saying "Let's go find a good bowl of ramen, believe it!" and making random hand signs. Well, she ended up walking out and hasn't talked to me since. Here's where I think I might be the a------. I absolutely have no desire to be Naruto. it isn't my true self at all. I am lying about that and she is 100% right that I am doing this a revenge for her being an elf so often and refusing to compromise. I really am just doing this to make a point and I know I am being petty. Is this even salvageable? I had tried to bring this up a few times before cosplaying Naruto and really tried seeing if we could compromise. She refuses to not be an elf around my family and sees nothing wrong with how she acted in the Zoom call. She basically thought I was controlling and unhinged for suggesting she act like an elf less often. Now I am being petty in return and it's just kind of spiraling out of control. 178 Comments Give Award Share Save O Hide Report 95% Upvoted

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Reddit - I (28M) cosplayed and LARPed as Naruto to prove a point, now my girlfriend (25 F) is pissed.

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r/relationship_advice Posted by u/ThrowRANinjaLegend 1 hour ago 54 I (28M) cosplayed and LARPed as Naruto to prove a point, now my girlfriend (25 F) is p-----. Can this be saved? My girlfriend (25F) and I (28M) have been together for five years now. She has always been highly into Dungeons and Dragons, Lord of the Rings, and high fantasy content in general. I am into it somewhat and enjoy indulging her hobbies, but am mostly an anime fan. On the other hand, she has no interest in indulging in my hobbies. While I play D&D with her, partake in a yearly LOTR movie marathon with her, and go to the renaissance festival three times a year with her, she has no interest in even trying to watch anime with me, going to conventions, etc. She honestly thinks anime is pretty cringy and would rather just let me partake in it by myself. That's fine, whatever. Our relationship is good in most aspects. The issue is that starting around the beginning of the year, she has been going out in public dressed as her elf persona. She will wear elaborate medieval gowns, wear fake elf ears, and speak in a fake Irish accent. This will happen multiple times a week when we go shopping, visit friends, and more. She even showed up to dinner with my family dressed as an elf. She will talk about nature spirits and the "Mother Goddess" and basically randomly LARP as an elf. While I want to be supportive of her, it can frankly get pretty embarrassing. My tipping point was when I got on. a Zoom call with family so we could spend time with my cousin who is undergoing Chemo and can't see people face to face due to the pandemic. My girlfriend joined the Zoom call from her own room, fully dressed as an elf. She was doing the accent. My whole family was very confused but polite. At one point, my girlfriend said something like "I will send my wishes to the lunar goddess and ask for her blessing of recovery to cast upon you. Her magic will help cleanse the illness from your body." It was honestly mortified and the call ended very soon after. I ended up taking her aside and spoke with her very politely and gently, saying something like this. "Hey, I want to support you and I will always love you. I know dressing up as your character and fantasy stuff in general means a lot to you. But I would really like it if you could lighten up on the cosplaying and LARPing randomly in everyday life. I would be happy to put aside one day a month and we can go out together like this. But it can be a little embarrassing, and with the comment to my cousin, a little inappropriate at times." She blew a gasket and started snapping and yelling at me. Going on about how I am trying to repress her. How I should NEVER be embarrassed at my girlfriend expressing her true self, etc, etc. She said she was humiliated by what I said and that it was just adding salt to the wound when I suggested just doing it once a month with me. She didn't want to talk about it after that so I just apologized for upsetting her and let her know it wasn't my intention to upset her. Well, she basically acted as nothing happened and continued to be an elf. Nothing had changed at all. I should mention I also suggested she bring her habit up with her therapist, but this offended her because I was implying she had a mental issue. I decided that enough was enough. I couldn't stop her from being an elf, but I could still retaliate. She was meeting up with three friends and wanted me to meet up with them. (Yeah, yeah, pandemic. There are virtually no cases where we are and have no lockdown). I decided to dig up my old Naruto cosplay and then drove to meet them at the park. I was in full getup and waved over to my girlfriend. She looked at me like I just shot her dog. I put my arms behind my back and Naruto ran as fast as I could down to meet them and said "A true ninja is always on time, BELIEVE IT!" And made some hand signs randomly with my hands. Her friends seemed horribly confused and had no idea what to do. After we walked and talked a bit, my girlfriend took me aside more privately and started yelling at me, saying that I was humiliating her. That I was just being petty and trying to get revenge on her and bully her because she likes to cosplay. I simply told her that because she is comfortable enough to be her true self in public so often, I thought she could accept who I really am as well. I told her that cosplaying and being Naruto in daily life was something I had always wanted to do, but didn't think I would have a significant other that was okay with it. I told her that I realized I couldn't control her and be cruel, so I instead needed to embrace my inner ninja and become Naruto more often. I told her that she should be supportive of me like I am of her. She wanted to yell more, but we all had to go to a cafe for lunch. When we walked there, (only about ten minutes) we were talking about ourselves at the table. One of her female friends asked me hesitantly "So, what do you do for a living?" On command, I responded with "I'm going to become Hokage! The strongest ninja that ever lived! I need to train even harder and refuse to lose to Sasuke, BELIEVE IT! I then let them know I had to use the restroom and proceeded to Naruto run to the bathroom with my hands behind my back. Once all of this was over and we were home for the day, my girlfriend sobbed and said I was humiliating her. How Naruto and anime were way, way cringier than fantasy LARPing and how I was obviously just trying to punish her. I insisted I am just being my true self and that she is a massive hypocrite. I let her know that as long as she is randomly allowed to be an elf in public and social situations with me, that is innately enough permission for me to do the same as Naruto. Well, it's been a few days now and she's really not happy with me. She went out as an elf the other day with me and I was dressed normally. When we got to the bookstore, I went to the bathroom with my backpack (which is normal for me to have) and changed into my Naruto cosplay before once again Naruto running back out to her saying "Let's go find a good bowl of ramen, believe it!" and making random hand signs. Well, she ended up walking out and hasn't talked to me since. Here's where I think I might be the a------. I absolutely have no desire to be Naruto. it isn't my true self at all. I am lying about that and she is 100% right that I am doing this a revenge for her being an elf so often and refusing to compromise. I really am just doing this to make a point and I know I am being petty. Is this even salvageable? I had tried to bring this up a few times before cosplaying Naruto and really tried seeing if we could compromise. She refuses to not be an elf around my family and sees nothing wrong with how she acted in the Zoom call. She basically thought I was controlling and unhinged for suggesting she act like an elf less often. Now I am being petty in return and it's just kind of spiraling out of control. 178 Comments Give Award Share Save O Hide Report 95% Upvoted

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