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: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)23:03:12 No.849064494 >>849063047 (OP) # Related Be me >from middle class family >learned how to cut grass, do laundry, cook, etc. from a young age >be 22, air force pilot 89 KB PNG >work on my own car for fun >one day get gf from rich family >chilling at rich gfs family's house >her younger sister (17? i don't f----- remember) microwaves something with a fork in it. Panics when it makes lighnting, doesn't know why. How the f--- do you make it to 17 without knowing forks don't go in the microwave? >>849065105 #

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon is hackerman | /r/Greentext

exposing myself >be me >gf of 7 months dumps me >act depressed, my dad asks what's walch pom Leheated t ineeded ama in my lite aturatty e, ethe wrong >tell him that my gf dumped me >he tells me he knows how I can get her back true Twould le about y age to f--- le my body tO b y 40 (hink) itry tu t ys y ing them itoke bh contrl 65 KB JPG >asks him how? >he tells me just ignore her and act like the breakup doesn't bother me >l take his advice >mfw she calls me to ask me if I'm depressed >mfw she's been thinking and what's to get back together if women can be hacked this easily. You guys have no reason to complain. 7 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:01:32 No.63347073 Ahahahaha not quite that simple, robot. Sounds engineered like your dad and gf were pranking you.

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Anon did a bad thing | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/31/17(Sun)01:02:24 No.755392693 >>755392983 My wife doesn't even know about this one. > be 17yo me > 1994 > senior year hs is almost here, last summer party > girl a year older than me, had a crush on since kindergarten > one of the few nice older kids > see her at the party > she sees me and gets all huggy >i have one beer > she's already 3 sheets to the wind, and knocking back md20/20 > she sticks to me like glue > never had female attention like this before > she starts to get really wobbly > still virgin whiteknight, getting protective of her > decide she's not safe here, watching jocks eye her > maybe just paranoia > convince her to sit and talk in my car > she passes out > nobody really paying attention to us for awhile > the jocks have found other targets > take her back to my house > sneak into house by myself > make sure dog sees/hears me, knows it's me, doesn't bark > good dog > go back out to car > don't lift, but not manlet either, so pick her up > over my shoulder, get her in house > carry her upstairs > lay her on my bed > she looks so peaceful, innocent > realize she is out > she won't remember anything >i gaze at her and something stirs in my soul > and my pants >i reach out > vhs copy of last action hero on my nightstand > remember that s--- is overdue > sneak back out of house, drive like maniac to blockbuster > drop it in the night dropoff box > as soon as door slams shut i realize >i never rewound it. God damn it. I never rewound it. They never said anything and they're out of business now, but holy f---. I feel like a f------ monster.

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Anon is sad again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 157 KB PNG minutes long, and all equally hilarious >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty

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Anon isn't transphobic, just sexist | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad.jpg (65 KB, 1068x601) Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)15:46:30 No.852765984 [Reply] » >>852766212 >be me >best friend comes out as trans >tell them I can't be friends with them anymore >"but anon I thought that you thought that trans women are real women" >"I do but I also hate women" >> Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)15:51:11 No.852766212 ► .(100 IKD 14Ourac)

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Anon gives advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)04:49:44 No.63345759 >Wake up >Tinnitus starts again 44 KB PNG 16 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)06:35:42 No.63346652 >>63345759 (OP) # Have you tried not listening to it? 54 KB JPG

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Retard Strength | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Crazy Gym Goers 04/03/20(Fri)21:42:30 No.55045174 Crazy people at your gym thread >be me, train at somewhat hardcore bodybuilding gym >has some actual bodybuilders and a lot of larpers >one day pic related shows up >starts yelling to himself >quotes bible verses before lifting 49 KB JPG > constantly screams 00H OOH > gets married and two days later becomes a missing person >ends up getting picked up by the cops and spends two weeks in a straight jacket heavily medicated >comes back to the gym yelling "fresh out the psyche ward" and "yeah I got that retard strength" >fast forward one year, he f------ does it again >wife tells me he drove two hours up north, ran out of gas and had been sleeping in abandoned houses >doesn't alert the authorities because she doesn't want him to be institutionalized >comes back 20lbs lighter a month later >shortly after he's banned from the gym >see on Facebook he snapped his knee trying to leg press 100olbs at another gym >mfw

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Anon is a pedo | /r/Greentext

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Anon tries a pickup line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)10:52:16 No.63343425 >Go to farmers market to buy vitamin c >See you cute latina employee in the aisle I'm in >Struggles nervously to think of pickup line >Work up the confidence to 202 KB JPG approach her >"Um...hey..c-c-can you help me find vitamin YN?" >"Vitamin...YN?" >"Yeah...your number!" >She giggles >"So you don't need help finding anything?" >"No" >*Stare at her then walk away* Holy f--- why is this s--- so f------ hard?

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10 Seconds to be as millennial as possible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >SoI was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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Anon understands | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)03:14:53 No.852749530 >be me >be bored >join discord server about my favourite anime >server is filled with american trannies who congratule themselves that they "p----- off" some transphobes 272 KB PNG Now I see why people hate weebs. Why are americans like this? View Thread

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I will read this to my children before they go to sleep. He shall forever remain in my life and undefeated | /r/Greentext

>Be me >First grade >Really into WWE >Recess time >Me and friend made our own WWE Characters >l was Charles stinkbum >l was not informed that WWE was fake >We go back into the field and "host a match" >'m up against John burnsbam Ihatethiskid.jpg >Friend blows whistle he stole from P.E. teacher >l come at this m------------ like a velociraptor and my arms flying >He has 0 idea what's happening >Kick him in the d--- >He falls on ground >Friends form a 10 foot ring around us >At this point he is crying >l said something like "had enough you weenie?" >Mid way through him stuttering out something i run up and kick him in his face OHSHIT.jpg >Roar of kids everywhere >I'm infamous for my finisher >Stinkbum flash burn >this kid is bawling his eyes out asking for help >friends think it's apart of the "match" >l can fart on command >Run over to him >Friends are going ape s--- crazy >l drop my Levi jeans i wore that day >Drop my underwear >Go to fart on his head thisisnotafart.gif >S--- starts blasting out of my anus >Can't control myself >Friends start running for teachers > John burnsbam starts puking and passes out > I'm awestruck with my pants still down >Teachers and nurse run over and find him with mystery meat mixed with Animal crackers s------ all over him passed out >get suspended and have to go therapy tfw Charles stinkbum never lost

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Anon misses his shot at life | /r/Greentext

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Greentext Stories - anon is self sufficient | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)23:03:12 No.849064494 >>849063047 (OP) # Related Be me >from middle class family >learned how to cut grass, do laundry, cook, etc. from a young age >be 22, air force pilot 89 KB PNG >work on my own car for fun >one day get gf from rich family >chilling at rich gfs family's house >her younger sister (17? i don't f----- remember) microwaves something with a fork in it. Panics when it makes lighnting, doesn't know why. How the f--- do you make it to 17 without knowing forks don't go in the microwave? >>849065105 #

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