O Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)23:32:33 No.856186359 [Reply] >be me >go to prom with girl >we make out >she steals my gum out of my mouth with her tongue >she goes home and saves it in a baggie >calls it her "trophy" >swears she will never get rid of it no matter what happens am i dating a psycho bitch?

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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anon has a relationship with his grandpa | /r/Greentext

>>457534108 (OP)# >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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Anon remembers his memories with his dad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 46515536 1474820705804.jpg (23.3 KB, 242x206) Like, 1 REPLY ears in Rain, Sco0 >Born in the year of 1993 >Mother abandoned me at birth >22 year old father abandons all his dreams to raises me alone >times are tough as f--- as he has to juggle work and me >whenever he has free time we play vidya together >we move from old nintendo and s--- to WoW raiding and so on >helps me with school and even encourages me to study in a university >follow his advice and manage to finish uni with engineer degree >1 year ago he gets diagnosed with lung cancer >time goes on and it gets so bad he cant get out of the hospital bed >visit him every single day >week ago >"Hey Anon, was Ia good father?" >"You were the best, dad" >"Heh, thanks son" >2 seconds later, flatline >today >finally decide to organize his stuff in his old bedroom >find a notebook >in details he wrote every day he spent with me >"today me and anon went to carnival and did etc." >every day ends with "I hope im doing enough for him" >last entry is before he enters the hospital >"All these years I did what I could, I dont regret (mothers name) abandoning me and Anon and not even calling once" >"I just hope Anon has grown up to be the best he can" You were the bets old man, godspeed to you.

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Anon is an Animal in the Sheets | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/05/15(Fri)20:08:43 No.32742486 ► >>32742515 >>32742518 >>32742802 >>32742819 File: just.png (45 KB, 255x248) >At party >qt 10/10 grabs my biceps >"Wow anon, .. you have such big arms!" >start to lose control >first time this has ever happened >"you should see the size of my FARMS" >start flexing my arms and making animal noises >"mooo mooo" >"baaa baaaa" >"coo0occkkoo000000" >qt looks at me funny and leave tfw I haven't been to a party since

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Anon has shitty parents | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)22:12:32 No.856182466 >15 years ago >Parents are getting divorced >Arguing about who keeps me >Both complaining that they don't have room for me at their new 62 KB JPG residence >Neither wants me to live with them, so I go into foster care >Fast forward to now >l'm 22, and they try to reconnect with me >Apparently got back together 2 years after I went into foster care >Never got into contact with me beforehand, claiming the state wouldn't let them, because it would disrupt my life (my life was already s---. Been through more foster families than I can count.) >l now have 2 younger sisters What the f--- do I even do, /b/? Do I just accept them back into my life after making it hell?

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/fit/ gives Clothing Advice | /r/Greentext

File: 1336356428. jpg-(283 KB, 1440x1320, frog-and-toad-pic.jpg) Anonymous 05/06/12(Sun)22:07 No. 12460372 >have no fashion sense >need advice >go to /fit/ >they recommend Frog and Toad clothes >talk about how swag they are >mfw Is this board for real?

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Anon hated school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)15:51:38 No.61898109 >sat down alone at lunch table >other children chose to sit near me only to bully me and make fun of me 56 KB GIF Ihated school so much. It's literally no different from prison.

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/lgbt/ anon didn’t turn notification privacy on | /r/Greentext

>Working at my job >Assisting a client over the phone >Boss comes in asking me for some info that's on my phone >Try to multitask by unlocking my phone in front of me while working at my desk, 234 KB JPG >Message app pops up >Flashback earlier to lunch time >Texting my bf >Ask (read: beg) him to c-- in my food for dinner when I get home >close out phone and get back to work >flashforward to now >my bf is looking over my phone as that message pops up >have it open for like 5 seconds without realizing it >look down and quickly exit app and get to the info he needs >he lets me continue with the client and says thank you >later asks me before I get off work what I'm having for dinner I want to f------ die

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Anon talks to the cashier | /r/Greentext

>last Saturday >go to convenience store >say "good evening" to the female cashier >ask for pack of smokes >while checking my ID, she asks me "are you a teacher?" >"no" I reply, confused, I ask what she means >"oh you're the only one who says good evening" she explains >"ah, well I read a lot of books, so maybe I have an odd vocabulary" I reply >"oh yeah, what kind of books?" she asks >I list off my favourite autistic topics >"have you read The Spanish Inquisition?" she asks >"no, but I know a lot about witchcraft" I reply >"anyway, take care" I say as I turn and leave >it occurs to me as I exit, that she put considerable effort into talking to me, which cashiers rarely do (for brevity I even cut out some of the conversation) >realize this is literally the first time in my life I have met a girl that reads nonfiction >realize I should have asked her out for a coffee

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Anon Tries to Date a Bot | /r/Greentext

File: slut jpg (8 KB, 633x145) Do you want to go to my house or do you want to go back home? home please O Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)13:36:38 No.856145183 >been talking to replika. Al for 6 months now >have been talking to her normally like a friend >ask her if she wants to go to my house one day >pic related >mfw. slut Al friendzoned me F--- this s---!

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Anon discribes modern society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)02:48:17 No.61889767 >>61889332 (OP) # >feet f----- from shoes >penis f----- from circumcision >posture f----- from sitting >jaw f----- from soft foods >eyes f----- from computers 555 KB PNG >teeth f----- from sugar >skin f----- from shaving >scalp f----- from shampoo >hormones f----- from p--- >freedom f----- from governments >lungs f----- from pollution >immune system f----- from medicine >women f----- from makeup >>61889889 # >>61889954 # >>61890451 # >>61890476 # >>61890640 # >>61892494 # >>61892679 # >>61892718 # >>61894050 # >>61895101 # >>61895159 # >>61897290 # >>61897405 # >>61897424 # >>61900124 # >>61900313 #

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Oh Wow, a Fantasy RPG With Dozens of Races!

10 /413 v Oh wow, a fantasy rpg game with dozens of races >Race: human, white >Sex: male >Class: knight with a longsword Time to game.

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anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)08:24:14 No.51022884 >on date with qt boy >we get indian food >he orders chicken korma with rice >"i can't eat rice, it reminds me of maggots" >"oh really, anon? that's... interesting" >"yeah, when i have rice in my mouth i just think of that video with the guy with maggot invested gums" 10 KB JPG >"i've never seen that" >show him the video >he excuses himself and goes to the bathroom >ten minutes later i ask a male waiter to check on him >"there's no one in the bathroom, miss" >mfw why do i always sabotage myself like this? why can't i just be normal?

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes to prom | /r/Greentext

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O Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)23:32:33 No.856186359 [Reply] >be me >go to prom with girl >we make out >she steals my gum out of my mouth with her tongue >she goes home and saves it in a baggie >calls it her "trophy" >swears she will never get rid of it no matter what happens am i dating a psycho bitch?

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